


Return To Me

by Gina_Marie



Series: Before There Was You, There Was You [1]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-12
Updated: 2011-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-18 00:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 169,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gina_Marie/pseuds/Gina_Marie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story picks up five years from the end of BTWYTWY. Our boys are about to have an unexpected adventure.  When life throws them a curveball will they be able to bounce back? Or will it take Divine intervention to bring our boys back together. There are many supporting characters from BTWYTWY that will be making appearances in this story. And some new one’s I’ll be introducing.  I hope you all enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

France….

Mrs. Adeline Dupont labored breathlessly as she peddled her paint chipped bicycle up the craggy dirt path. The sun beat down incessantly on her causing tiny beads of sweat to form beneath her wool shirt.

Just another mile more.. she chanted silently as she redoubled her efforts.

The town of Aubigny lay just south of Loire Valley and only two miles from her small cabin in the hills.

The Scottish influenced town was close enough for her to get the necessary supplies she needed to survive in her self imposed seclusion, yet far enough away for her to maintain her privacy. A privacy she treasured above all else.

When she and Jacques found the log cabin tucked away in the hills of Loire Valley they both knew it was the perfect place for them.

They had met as exchange students in London. She was from America, Jacques was from France. Their love was instant and strong. And as so often happens with young passionate lovers, they followed their hearts one starry night and eloped.

Their joy however was not shared by all. Jacques parents took great exception to the union.

Adeline was an only child from very humble means. Her father died in a mining accident and her mother lived on a small pension. The marriage pleased her mother greatly but Jacques was from a very prominent family in France. His mother was Norwegian while he father was French aristocrat. They did not feel Adeline a proper match for their son.

Upon hearing of their marriage, they demanded he have it annulled, else he’d be disinherited.

Jacques parted with his family and took his young bride away. They purchased the small cabin she now lived in with the few funds he had managed to save on his own, and they had lived there, blissfully happy, until 5 years, 2 months and 7 days ago.

It was exactly 5 years, 2 months and 7 days ago that Jacques went out for his morning bike ride. He loved riding his bicycle through the scenic mountains of France, taking in the heavily intoxicating scent of grapes from the many vineyards the country was so famous for. It became a ritual with him. He would wake just before the sun rose each day, kiss her sleeping face goodbye and promise to be back before she woke so that they could share their morning meal together.

Up until that particular morning, Jacques never broke his promise.

Days, then weeks went by before her beloveds’ bicycle was dragged from the river. News came to her that her husband was dead. Though they never did find his body. She remembered the day clearly. It was the same day she found out she was pregnant.

The shock of hearing her husband was dead was too much for her to bear. She locked herself away, refusing to speak to anyone for weeks.

Then one day, Jacques parents came to see her. When they saw she was with child, they offered to take her with them, and care for her and her child. Adeline refused.

She realized during those weeks of grieving that something was very wrong. Jacques could not be dead. Surely if he was, she would feel it… But she didn’t. She refused to. And that’s when the realization hit her that her husband was not dead, he was very much alive!

Her newfound revelation however did not sit well with her in-laws. Adeline scoffed at the pity she saw in their eyes when she informed them that Jacques was not dead and that he would return to her. She rationalized a million different scenarios for his disappearance. He got kidnapped. He hit his head and had amnesia and was trying to find his way back to her. In her mind, these were much more practical explanations then the alternative.

But Jacques parents would not accept her reasoning. In fact, they thought her mad. Their concern grew when word came that Adeline’s mother had passed away from a sudden heart attack. Adeline once again took to her room, not to come out for weeks.

Jacques parents brought in doctors to see her, but she refused to let any of them examine her. At one point, they tried to have her committed, but was told unless she was a danger to herself, her baby or anyone else, they could not commit her.

Left with no other options, Jacques parents stayed in the Town of Aubigny, visiting her everyday until the birth of her child came.

That day came on April 9th, 4 years ago. She delivered a stillborn baby boy.

Jacques parents stayed to burry the baby then left without a word. The only evidence that they were ever there to begin with came in the form of a check written out to her in the amount of five hundred thousand dollars.

Adeline did not grieve for her child, just as she did not grieve for her husband. After Jacques parents left she questioned her own memories. Did she give birth to a stillborn? Or did Jacques family steal her child from her? Again, as with her husband, it was a much more practical explanation for the disappearance of her son.

Having grappled with all that had happened to her, Adeline decided to wait. She would wait for the day her husband would return, and then together, they would go get their son back. A renewed sense of hope filled her as she went about her days.

Unfortunately, others did not share in her optimism. Her trips to town became more and more stressful over time. She started seeing the same look of pity in the townsfolk’s eyes that she saw in Jacques parents’ eyes.

She tried to explain to them when they offered their condolences that Jacques was not dead, he was alive, and would be coming home soon, but it fell on deaf ears. Instead of believing her, she became fodder for town gossip.

After a while she gave up trying to make people understand. It no longer bothered her that they whispered behind her back as she walked through town.

“Poor thing…So tragic…How can she survive up there alone all this time?… …..I hear she talks to herself… I hear she hears voices….Yeah, from her dead husband….”

Those words use to sting, until she dismissed them completely as ignorant remarks made by ill-mannered people. After all, how could such commoners understand true love? The kind she and Jacques shared. The kind that never died…

He lived now, in her heart and in her mind. And yes, she did speak to him often. He was a great comfort to her. She could hear his voice clearly as if he was still there, with her. His image was sharp and vivid in her minds eye. She could still smell his sweet scent; feel his soft silky blonde hair beneath her fingertips. And at night, when she laid her head down upon his pillow, his eyes, bluer than the Aegean Sea stared back at her from behind closed lids.

The connection she still held with him was so strong, how could he possibly be dead? Still, it had been so long.. so very long..When would he return?

A loud ‘popping’ noise from behind broke into her thoughts. She turned her head to examine the tiny rickety wagon tied to the back. Its wheels squeaked in protest as it bounced awkwardly over rocks and discarded branches, but it held fast. She frowned noting its days were numbered. Much like hers.

She pushed that morose thought away along with a strand of dirty long brown hair that escaped from beneath her tattered wide brimmed hat. She mustn’t give up hope she reminded herself.

Doubts always plagued her when she was forced to leave her sanctuary to go to town. It was those people who put doubt in her head. She had to remain faithful. Their time would come.

Five years of waiting was taking its toll on her. The loneliness was excruciating, but she would endure, no matter how long it took. She had to. The alternative was unthinkable. She lived for one purpose alone. His return. And he would return, he promised.

And Jacques never broke a promise…


	2. Trouble With Kids

4,200 miles away….The Loft

 

Brian had Justin’ shirt off by the time he slid the loft door open. It was past 3 am and they decided to forego the front entrance of the house, opting to use their private entrance as not to wake the family. They were comfortably high, and overly horny having spent the night dancing and carousing at Babylon 7 with the guys.

 

“Hmm…I’m going to fuck you all… night…l..o..nn.” Justin couldn’t finish the sentence as Brian started tickling him causing him to shriek in laughter.

 

Justin drew back from Brian’s embrace, escaping his lover’s playful torture.

 

“Who’s going to fuck who?” Brian teased throwing Justin’s shirt to the side. He reached for his boy, pulling him against him yet at the same time pushing him back into loft.

 

“Sorry Sunshine, but I’m going to be the one fucking you tonight.” Brian said reaching down to cup Justin’s balls. He squeezed lightly eliciting a guttural sound from Justin.

 

“First I’m going to rim you to the point where I have you screaming for release. Then I’m going to tie you up, spread eagle and suck you off. But I won’t let you cum.” Brian threatened seductively placing hot, wet kissing up and down Justin’s neck.

“Then I’m going throw your legs over my shoulders and fuck you. But not before you beg me too.” Brian chuckled at his own wickedness.

 

Justin groaned. “If I had known you were in this kind of a mood, I would have asked the hot new bartender I hired to come home with us.…” Justin teased breathlessly, darting his tongue out and swiping at Brian’s bottom lip.

 

Brian jerked back abruptly and gave his blonde a scalding look.

Justin pulled his lips in attempting to stop the laugh that threatened to burst forward.

Brian had been away on business when Hal, their head bartender, quit without notice due to a family emergency. Justin had to scramble to replace him. The new guy, Sallie, use to work for Pistol’s but hated the new owners over there and contacted Justin when he heard Babylon 7 needed a new head bartender.

 

He was one of many who applied for the much sought out position. Babylon 7’s popularity soared since they’d been featured in Echelon magazine. Echelon was a cutting edge publication that centered on the GLBT business professional.

 

Each issue highlighted profiles of successful corporate executives and entrepreneurs. Brian, being owner of Kinnetik Global, with two offices, one in Pittsburgh, and one in New York, and CEO of Babylon 7 earned him the cover of their magazine, giving him their Gay businessman of the Year, title.

Along with Brian being named Gay businessman of the year, Babylon 7 was featured in their magazine as one of the top ten gay clubs in the US. It was toted as being a Mecca for gay men of all social and economical status with its’ hot dance club down stairs, complete with retro go-go boys and cage dancers, to its exclusive members only club upstairs which sported a five star restaurant, and spa. Perfect for the ‘serious’ Gay professional.

 

Of course the magazine left out the lush backrooms and VIP fuck lounges. Though the reporter who did the story took full advantage of all the amenities at their establishment. Justin and Brian personally showed the reporter ‘all’ that Babylon had to offer; including a romp with him in one of the VIP lounges. It’s what probably earned the club such a high ranking.

The result of all the publicity was increased membership to B7’s private club upstairs, and every hot guy in Pittsburgh lining up to get a job at their establishment.

 

And Sallie was just that. Hot. But that was not why Justin had hired him. Sallie was very professional, and experienced. Plus he brought a following from Pistol’s. Sallie was very much sought after himself.

 

“You hired Sandy because he’s hot?” Brian asked annoyance evident in his tone.

 

Justin couldn’t contain himself, his laughter bubbled out. He knew he was being a little devil but it was so worth the look on Brian’s face.

 

“His name is Sallie.”

 

Brian raised his brow and narrowed his eyes at the same time. A feat Justin was sure took a lot of effort.

Justin laughed harder.

 

“What’s so funny?” He asked, his tone getting tighter by the minute.

 

“Oh nothing. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.” Justin said, his cheeks flushed with humor.

 

Brian scoffed rudely and made a face.  
“I don’t do jealousy. It’s just bad business to hire someone based on how hard they make your dick.” Brian scolded in his oh so haughty persona he pulled out when covering up his true emotions.

Justin put his tongue in his cheek, a habit he picked up from Brian over the years.

 

Ten years to be exact…

 

Funny how it seemed like such a long time when voiced out loud, yet not feeling nearly that long. It felt like only yesterday he was running behind Brian towards his first introduction to his son. Their first son…

 

Next Tuesday marked Gus’s tenth birthday and consequently, marked 10 years of them being together. Though Brian never acknowledged that day as their anniversary. Not the day they met, or their “Celebration” day, where Brian vowed to ‘celebrate’ Justin for the rest of his life. Brian fucking Kinney did NOT do anniversaries.

Instead, when those two days came around, Brian would quietly mark it in his own way. It became sort of an unspoken ritual they shared.

 

Twice a year, on Gus’s birthday, (actually the day after since that day was spent with Gus) and on the anniversary of their “Celebration” ceremony, Brian would cancel all appointments, and take Justin to their New York apartment where they would spend the day eating gourmet foods off the floor, picnic style, and fucking each others brains out. Justin knew better than to point out the fact it was their anniversary. God forbid he be that sentimental. He knew Brian would stop celebrating those two very special days in their lives if he took notice.

So instead, Justin played along as the unsuspecting victim in Brian’s scheme.

 

Come next Wednesday, when Brian would make some excuse to risk him away to New York for a fun filled, fuck filled day, Justin would eagerly play his part and act surprised, and a bit annoyed at being pulled away abruptly from his work, before relenting of course. It was a game they played since the twins were born.

 

At first, it was a nice excuse to get away for a day from the constant demands of their children. But then, it became sort of a tradition. Of course, that was another fact Justin would NEVER point out to Brian knowing how much he abhorred traditions. At least how much he purported to abhor them.

 

But this year was extra special. This year marked the 10th anniversary of their first night together. It just didn’t seem possible to Justin. For him, each day was like the first day; the first time he set eyes on the ‘face of God.’

 

Ten years, and seven kids later and Brian still managed to make his heart race just by walking into the room. Probably more so now than ever.

 

The years, if anything, had only enhanced his exceptional good looks. There was an air of mature sophistication about him. A confidence that went beyond his sexual prowess. It was a confidence that came from an inner peace and it was fucking sexy as hell and it made Justin grit his teeth in frustration.

 

Brian fucking Kinney was getting better looking with each year that past! He was hoping for a little gray around the temples, maybe a few character lines around the eyes. But nooo... As if they would DARE appear on the almighty Kinney’s face! Justin long ago stopped ridiculing Brian’s anti aging cream. In fact, he started using it himself. Though according to Brian and all their friends actually, Justin still looked 19 at 27.

 

Justin slinked up to Brian and reached out to place his hands on Brian’s shoulders.

 

“You make my dick hard..” He purred seductively in answer to Brian’s retort.

 

“You always make my dick hard…” He said giving Brian his most brilliant, sexy smile.

 

Brian pursed his lips and gave Justin a suspicious glare.  
“Just looking at you makes my dick hard.” Justin continued ignoring Brian’s look as he slowly moved his hands down Brian’s chest and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“I don’t even need to see you and you make my dick hard.” Justin said slipping the $400 Margiela shirt down over Brian’s very toned arms.

 

Brian muscles involuntarily twitched at Justin’s touch. His blonde always had that affect on him. Each time Justin touched him, it was like little electric pleasure shocks shooting through his body.  
“I just need to hear your voice my dick gets hard.” Justin’s hands went to Brian’s pants next.

 

Brian let out a soft groan.  
“The mere mention of your name makes my dick hard.” Justin pushed Brian’s pants down and dropped to his knees.

Brian’s head fell back as his hands found their way to his boys’ silky blonde locks. He entwined his fingers in the soft strands and pulled him forward.

“But most of all this…” Justin rubbed his cheek against Brian’s hard cock as he spoke.

 

“This makes my dick hard…” he said right before engulfing Brian’s cock in his eager, wet mouth.

 

Brian gasped as Justin’s hot mouth enveloped him. His grip on Justin’s hair tightened as he pushed forward, trying to lose himself in his lover.

He opened his eyes to look down on his beautiful blonde when his eyes made contact with another blonde head.

 

“FUCK!” Brian cursed hoarsely, yet in a low voice as he ripped his cock from Justin’s mouth.  
Justin fumbled back confused.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked straining back to look up into Brian’s face.

 

Brian nodded towards their bedroom as he hastily pulled his pants up.  
Justin turned his head and saw what had stopped Brian dead in his track.

Lizzy was curled up in their bed. Apparently asleep, Thank God.

“Shit.” Justin exclaimed and scrambled to his feet.

 

“Something must be wrong.” He said facing Brian, concern etched heavy in his brow.

 

“Yeah. One guess who that ‘something’ is.” Brian snarled, frustrated at this new turn of events.  
“Now Bri, don’t start. It will only make it worse.” Justin warned then went to retrieve his shirt.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door that led to the rest of the house. Brian went to answer it.

“I’ve been waiting up for you two.” Fran said pushing past Brian.

Fran hadn’t changed much over the past six years she’s been with them. She burst into the loft wearing a long multi-colored sarong type nightgown that couldn’t be gaudier if it were draped on a drag queen working in a bordello. Her face was plastered white from the mask she wore to bed and she still had on all her jewelry. The woman truly was a walking peacock. She put Emmett to shame.

 

“When did she get here?” Brian asked Fran foregoing his normal snarky remark he reserved for her when he’d see all ‘costumed’ out, like she was now.

 

“Around midnight. She drove straight through.” Fran let that bit of information sink in.

“Jesus what the fuck did he do now! More correctly, “WHO” did he do now?!” Brian bit out caustically.

 

Justin shot him a warning look.  
Lizzy was attending CSU in North Carolina. It was an 8-hour drive from home. Something really bad must have happened to make her take off like that with no warning.

 

She was in her last year at CSU, having switched colleges three times in the last three years. Brian was hopeful about CSU. The college suited her with their liberal arts program focusing on leadership, communication, service and wellness. The place was beautiful, not far from the Carolina coastline. There were many service organizations that appealed to Lizzy’s personality and for the first time, she was truly happy at school. For all intended purposes, it was perfect. Perfect except for one major flaw.

 

That flaw being Jason Albright.

 

Lizzy had met him last year when she transferred in as a Junior. The attraction was strong, the relationship toxic. Mr. Albright was undisciplined, arrogant, and unfaithful. Brian and Justin spent many nights comforting Lizzy when she discovered his infidelities.

Jason had agreed to have a monogamous relationship with Lizzy only to disappoint her several times in the past year. Yet Lizzy forgave him each time and Brian and Justin was at a loss at what to do. If they criticized him too much, Lizzy stopped confiding in them, yet they couldn’t stand by and watch her get hurt over and over again.

 

Fran frowned at Brian’s outburst, but could not fault his anger. It was justified. She’d been more than a Nanny in the Taylor-Kinney household for the past 6 years. They became her family, and Lizzy was like a daughter to her. She too tried unsuccessfully to talk to Lizzy about what’s acceptable, and what is not acceptable in a relationship. She had no idea why Lizzy let this guy use her so. She lived in a house where love abounded. She was constantly told how special she was, how valued and loved. Yet for some reason, this Jason had her all fucked up. Fran wanted to rip the boys’ balls off.

 

“Getting mad isn’t going to help.” Fran said pushing her own violent thoughts away.

“No, but this time I’m putting my foot down. I’m taking her out of that school. Let that spineless prick come here for her. Last time we visited her he didn’t have the balls to meet us. This time, he’ll have no choice.” Brian stated.

 

“Brian, you can’t do that. Lizzy is in her last semester. You can’t pull her out now. She’s too close to getting her degree. Besides, it won’t solve a thing. It will only teach her that running away is the answer. She needs to figure this out for herself.” Justin tried to reason.

 

“Does Jagger know what’s been going on?” Fran asked.

 

Jagger was the one Taylor-Kinney child Fran was not close with. Not for lack of trying, but because Jagger was such a private person. He only really confided in Brian. And that relationship had its own issues.

 

“No, I didn’t want to upset him, and Lizzy would never tell him. She knows Jagger would be on a plane the minute he found out, ready to kill the bastard. And I’ve no doubt he’d try. I can’t let that happen. He has too many infractions to add attempted murder to the list. Not to mention the tabloids who would have a hay day with him if they found out.” Brian said.  
Jagger had left home 3 years ago at the age of 16, having graduated high school early, to tour with his band, “No apologies, No regrets” and gained remarkable fame. Though fame and Jagger clashed on more than one occasion over the past 3 years and Brian had to bail him out of trouble one too many times. As it was, he fell off the wagon last year and landed back in rehab. That was a very difficult time for the family, but they got through it, like they always did. As a family.

Brian didn’t want to add any more stress to Jaggers already very stressful life. He was only 19 years old, and living this rock and roll lifestyle since he was 16. He was just getting a grasp on handling fame and the paparazzi without landing himself in jail, or on drugs.

“What about Peter? I know she’s very close with him.” Fran ventured.

 

“Peter knows. He, like the rest of us, has been trying to get her to see reason. Of course she dismisses his council because she feels he’s just textbooking her advice straight out of one of his psych classes.” Justin said.

 

Peter was in grad school up in Albany New York working on his doctrine in psychiatry.  
“Fuck this. I’m driving down tomorrow to have a talk with the prick. This ends now.” Brian said irrevocability.

“Dad..?” A sleepy voice came from the bedroom.

Justin and Brian quickly went up to their bedroom. The sight that greeted them broke their hearts.

 

Lizzy was lying on their bed, fully dressed in rumbled clothes, her face tear streaked, mascara running down her cheeks.  
Justin moved quickly to the bed sliding in beside her and gathered her up in his arms.

“Shhh.. it’s ok. We’re here.” He said soothingly as he rubbed small circles on her back.

Brian sighed heavily and sat on the edge of the bed.

 

“Lizzy get up.” He said a bit harshly.

 

Justin shot him a deadly look.

 

“Don’t.” Brian warned.

 

“Don’t coddle her. Enough is enough.”  
“Jesus Briaaannn!” Fran screeched in a high-pitched nasal tone.

“Give the girl a break!” She said from the doorway.

“She’s had enough breaks. Mainly heartbreaks.” Brian said reaching over and pulling Lizzy up to a sitting position.

 

Justin reluctantly let her go; wary of what Brian was going to say. He knew his partner too well. He was harshest when he felt the ones he loved were in danger. And right now, he was very fearful for Lizzy.

 

“I’m sorry Dad.” Lizzy said sitting up rubbing her red swollen eyes.

 

Since Brian and Justin legally adopted her, Jagger, Peter and Johnny, giving them the Taylor-Kinney surname, they took to calling Brian Dad, and Justin Daddy J. Or in Jaggers case, DJ.

 

“Sorry’s bullshit Lizzy.” Brian said putting his arm around her shoulders.

 

“What happened?” He asked in a tone that brooked no argument. He wanted the truth.

 

Lizzy sniffed loudly and lowered her eyes.

 

“We were supposed to meet for lunch today and he never showed up. So I went to Melissa’s room to see if she wanted to get something to eat. You know I hate eating alone.” She explained.

 

Brian’s stomach clenched. He knew what was coming.  
“And?” He prompted, giving no quarter. He wanted her to say it out loud.

She turned her pain filled eyes up to him. It took all of Brian’s resolve not to give in and hug her and tell her it was all going to be all right. But he knew that was the worse thing he could do. Instead he met her stare, sternly.

 

Lizzy started to wail.  
“He was in her room!!!! ” She cried out.

“They were… they were….” She stammered through her tears.

“Fucking?” Brian answered for her, his voice void of emotion.

 

Justin went to comfort her but Brian held his hand up stopping him.  
Lizzy nodded her head and continued to cry.

“And we’re surprised why?” Brian asked brutally.

“Ok, enough Brian.” Justin said.

 

“Well, finally we agree. It IS enough! How many times does she have to catch that prick fucking around on her before SHE thinks it’s enough?” He bit out at Justin before turning his attention back to Lizzy.

 

“So basically you’re telling us that you walked in on your boyfriend, fucking your best friend. Right?” Brian asked in a voice so cold it belied the deep emotions behind it.

 

Lizzy answered by crying more loudly.

 

Brian cursed.  
“Lizzy listen to me, are you listening to me?” He asked cupping her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

“Yes..” she sniffed out.

“I know you’re confused and hurt. But you got to make a decision. Either accept the fact that he will always fuck around, and be content with that knowledge, or bite the bullet and move on. You can’t go on like this. No fuck is worth this kind of agony.” Brian said.

 

“But Dad, I love him! I know he loves me too. He just has this problem.” Lizzy rationalized.

 

Brian made a face.

 

“Are you serious? The fucking around is not the problem Lizzy, the lying is. If he doesn’t want to be monogamous, then he should be honest with you about it. I could respect that. But each time he comes crawling back, begging your forgiveness, promising to never do it again and you take him back KNOWING he won’t keep that promise. The boy has no character Lizzy. Justin and I taught you better than this. You deserve better.” Brian said.

 

“But you weren’t monogamous with Daddy J when you first met, and you’re still together.” Lizzy stated hopefully.

 

Justin made a painful face. Fran barked out a bitter laugh and Brian sighed deeply.

 

“Who told you that?” Brian asked.

 

“Uncle Mikey. He said that you were the stud of Liberty Avenue and that Daddy J was the only guy you, um, slept with more than once in the beginning.” Lizzy replied shyly.

 

“Fucking Mikey and his big fucking mouth!” Brian cursed.

 

“And what does he mean, WAS?” Brian made an incredulous face.

 

Justin couldn’t help but smile at his lover.

 

“Don’t worry ‘stud’. Considering all the men I had to peel off of you this evening, I’d say your reputation is still intact.” Justin assured.

 

Brian scoffed. Justin turned his attention back to Lizzy.

 

“Lizzy honey, the situation with your Dad and I was very different.” He explained.

 

“How?” Lizzy asked.

 

“Because your Dad never lied to me. He never promised me anything.” Justin said simply.

 

“But did you mind? Did Dad’s affairs hurt you as much as Jason’s hurt me?” Lizzy asked the sore question.

 

Justin turned questioning eyes to Brian.

 

“Yes.” Brian answered for Justin. Justin could see the pain in his eyes at that admission.

 

“No.” Justin corrected him.

 

Brian raised his eyebrow at Justin.

 

“Your Dad’s ‘affairs’ did not hurt me, what hurt me was the pain he was causing himself. I never doubted your Dad’s love for me. I doubted our ability to work through our problems, but I never doubted him. And you know why? Because he never lied to me. And he never broke a promise. Can you say that about Jason?” Justin asked.

 

Lizzy lowered her eyes in shame and shook her head.

 

“I don’t know why he gets to me so. Why I let him.” She said in a little voice that sounded so pitiful.

 

“Lizzy honey it’s late. Why don’t you go take a shower then go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.” Fran said breaking into their conversation.

 

Both Brian and Justin looked at her as if to object, but Fran glared back with her hands on her hips and motioned with her head for them to take a look at Lizzy.

 

She was right. Lizzy’s body shook from exhaustion. She needed rest.

 

Justin got up from the bed. “Use our shower honey.” He said walking over to their imported dark oak Tosca dresser. He pulled out a tee shirt and pair of sweats.

 

“Put these on when you get out then get into bed.” He instructed placing the clothes in Lizzy’s hands as he guided her up and into the bathroom.

 

Brian and Fran left the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen.

 

Brian’s head was aching now, and he needed something fortifying, preferably in liquid form.

 

“Did Andy finish his school project?” Brian asked, changing the subject as he walked around the kitchen isle to pull down a glass and the bottle of ‘emergency’ Beam he kept there.

 

“Of course he did. Like father, like son. He ripped it up three times before he was satisfied with the results. Maria of course made matters worse by teasing him ruthlessly each time he did.” Fran said smiling.

 

The twins were like a breath of fresh spring air in their lives. They were adorable, intelligent, mischievous as hell, and full of more energy than any pair of 6-year-old twins should have.

 

They kept everyone on their toes. Especially Brian. They loved playing tricks on their Dad. Justin however was spared their antics. They were smart enough to know they couldn’t get away with half the shit they pulled on thier Dad with Daddy J. What very few people knew was that Brian was a big softie when it came to his kids. Justin was the stricter parent.

 

“Yeah, that’s my boy.” Brian said pouring himself a glass of the dark strong whiskey.  
Brian smiled to himself at Fran’s accounting of his children’s evening. Andy was a lot like him. Meticulous and stringent to a fault while Maria was all Justin. Creative, and impulsive. Their differences served them well when they were concocting some scheme against him. Maria would think of deliciously wicked little tricks to play on him, and Andy would execute them to perfection.

The last little demonstration of their mad genius tactics involved switching Brian’s favorite shampoo with some mixture they created containing garlic oil, dish detergent and yellow food coloring.

It took Brian several washings and a trip to the hairdresser to get the smell, and food coloring out of his hair. Justin had punished them, against Brian’s wishes. They had a big fight over it. The twins totally had Brian wrapped around their adorable little fingers. Brian just could not see punishing them for being ‘playful’ in his opinion. But in the end, he had to concede to Justin. Andy and Maria were a tad too undisciplined, and needed boundaries.

 

Brian knew he let the twins get away with too much. He also knew they secretly loved to watch him ‘queen out’ as the family called his outbursts. Still he admired their ingenuity. It reminded him of the pranks he and Mikey use to pull at school. Like making synthetic cum to put on their teachers chair. Only it turned out to be a very strong adhesive causing their teacher to have to basically strip in class to free herself. Even now he smiled over that one.

 

Justin joined them in the kitchen. “She’s all showered and sleeping soundly.” He announced then frowned when he saw Brian’s glass.

 

Brian caught the look. “Don’t fucking start with me. It’s our night out remember? I haven’t had a decent fucking drink in weeks.” Brian snarled.

 

“Bullshit. You had several shots at the club. You know what the doctor said at your last physical.” Justin reminded him.

 

“My last physical was JUST fine!” Brian bit out.

 

“Except for your blood pressure. He told you to cut back on the caffeine and alcohol.” Justin said.

 

Brian slung back the remaining whiskey in the glass in one shot in answer to Justin’s haranguing.

 

“Fine. Be an asshole. For God sake’s Brian you’re almost fort ..”

 

“DON’T YOU DARE USE THE F WORD IN FRONT OF ME!” Brian roared leaning over the counter, his face mere inches from Justin.

 

“Ok boys, enough. We still need to deal with Lizzy.” Fran interjected.

 

“Why don’t you go find yourself a jackhammer to crack that cement from your face before a pigeon mistakes you for a statue and shits on you. I think we can handle this one on our own.” Brian said sarcasm dripping with each word.  
“Heyyyyy! Don’t snap at me! I didn’t say the “F” word! Besides, Justin is right. You need to take better care of yourself.” Fran admonished.

She, along with Justin and Brian’s mother, took turns in nagging him over his health on a daily basis since the doctor told them he was under too much stress.

“And I better not EVER hear you, or anyone use that word around me.” Brian said referring to that God awful word… forty...

 

He was serious too, which concerned Justin. If anyone in the family even jokingly said the word “forty” around him, he would leave and not talk to that person for weeks, sometimes months. And no one was immune. Once Rena told him that forty was the new thirty and he didn’t speak to her, his own sister, for two whole weeks.

 

On his thirty-ninth birthday Brian swore he’d have no more. When Justin teasingly asked him what he was going to say when asked his age next year Brian simply replied, “Lie.”

 

“Ok, that’s a subject for another day. Right now we have to decide what we’re going to do about Lizzy.” Justin said.

 

”I told you, I’m going down to her college tomorrow to confront the boy.” Brian said.

 

“Please! You’d be lucky if you could find him. He knows he fucked up real big this time. I mean, her best friend! Jesus, no wonder I’m still single. Men suck!” Fran whined.

 

“Hey, don’t knock men who suck. It’s an asset, trust me.” Brian said tongue in cheek.

 

Fran stuck her tongue out at him. “Asshole.” She said.  
“Another asset.” Brian retorted.

“And with a tongue like that, it is a wonder you’re still single. No, wait, I take that back. The tongue may be acceptable, however that loud mouth of yours is a cock repellant.” Brian countered.

“Will you two knock it off already!” Justin said frustrated.

 

“I think we should send her back on her own.” Justin suggested.

 

“Are you nuts!” Brian asked.

 

“No, I’m very serious. She needs to deal with this on her own. We can’t let her drop out of school again.” Justin said.

 

“Justin, you know normally I agree with you, but this time I think you’re wrong. She obviously can’t handle this Jason on her own. We need to intervene.” Fran said.

 

“Fran’s right.” Brian said.

 

“Wait, can I get you to write that down?” Fran asked sarcastically.

 

“Listen to me for a minute. We all know how Lizzy is. She may be 22, but she’s not as sophisticated as other girls her age and emotionally she’s still very much a child. She has this habit of creating her own reality. She remembers her mother as being ‘ailing and relying on the kindness of strangers’, where as Jagger remembers her as being a drug addicted whore. No matter what we say or do, she’s going to follow her own misguided heart. I have another suggestion.” Justin explained.  
Brian and Fran leaned forward, eager to hear what Justin had in mind.

“Let her go back. I’m sure like always, Jason will beg for forgiveness, and she’ll take him back. That’s inevitable. But at least she’ll finish her degree. Then come May, when she graduates, I’ll take her to France with me. She can come as my assistant. She’ll be so busy, she won’t have time to think about Jason, plus she’ll be over 4000 miles away. We’ll be there at least 3 months with the exhibit, it will give her time to not only get over him, but to meet new people.” He said then waited a minute for their reaction.

Justin’s art gallery, and art school had gained international recognition over the past few years. His name was synonymous with vanguard contemporary fine art in the art world and his paintings were selling for extraordinarily high prices these days.

 

He had been asked to present some of his pieces in one of the top contemporary museums in Loire Valley, France. It was an honor and the family was overjoyed with the prospect of spending the summer in France.

 

The plan was he would fly down first the end of May with some of his students, whose work would also be on exhibit in one of the lesser galleries for emerging young artists. Then once school was out, Brian would bring Johnny and the twins over to join them, then later the rest of the family would fly in.

 

It was perfect actually, since Viv’s chateau was in Loire Valley.

 

Their chateau was huge and very accommodating. There was a main house on the property along with a guesthouse.

 

Rena, John and their son AJ were planning to attend Justin’s European opening along with Adam, Shane and their 3 kids. Even Emmett and James planned to fly in for the event. Everyone was excited about it.

 

Brian rubbed his chin in thought.

 

“Actually Sunshine, that’s not a bad idea.” He said.  
“I don’t have bad idea’s.” Justin replied giving him one of his Sunshine smiles.

Fran watched the two lovers eye each other and took her cue to leave.

“Well now that, that’s settle. I’m off to bed.” She said walking to the door that led down to the second floor…”Oh, and don’t forget. Dinner at Rena’s tomorrow night.” She yelled over her shoulders before leaving the loft.

 

Brian walked around the kitchen counter and pulled Justin to him.

 

“How did you ever get to be so clever?” He asked dipping his head to nibble on Justin’s earlobe.  
“Hmmmm…. I learn from the Master.” He purred.

“Flattery will get you everywhere Sunshine.” Brian drawled.

“I was talking about the twins…” Justin said.

 

Brian laughed and dragged Justin outside the loft, sliding the metal door shut behind him then proceeded to fuck his blonde inside the elevator as it, and he went down…


	3. The Graduation Party

"Click, click, click." The insistent clicking of the camera grated heavily on Jagger’s nerves.

Though he was no stranger to physical exertion, his body ached from the long hours of posing under the intense hot lights of the studio. A young girl, who looked like a starving refugee, pressed her naked bony breast against his back with one arm draped over his left shoulder, her hand lightly caressed the exposed skin under his open shirt.

 

God he hated this part of the business. He was wearing more make up then her for Christ sakes! He was tired, cranky and on top of it, he felt like a total fool. He looked over at Janet who stood watching him all day like an artist surveying her work. He couldn't help the contemptuous sneer he sent her. He supposed she was getting used to them, he'd been sending them for the last 2 hours. In return, she gave him a look of sexual promise; Jagger turned his head away in disgust.

The photographer was fawning all over him. He was a man of indeterminable age with long blond hair and a svelte physique. His hawk like features peeked out from behind the camera lens as he snapped off pictures in rapid succession. His cologne was cheap and pungent. It assaulted Jaggers’sense and not in a positive life affirming way.

He told Jagger over and over again that he was beautiful, magnificent, and the sexiest celebrity he ever had the pleasure to shoot. Not once did he express his appreciation for Jaggers’ music. Though he shouldn’t be surprised. This wasn’t about his music; it was about his ‘image’.

He looked over at the clock on the wall. A quarter to 12. The party was in one hour. He had to wrap this up. He’d insisted they do the shoot in Pittsburgh so he’d be able to attend the party. This shoot had been scheduled for months, though he just found out last week. He couldn’t back out, yet he’d be damned if he’d miss his sisters graduation party. Besides he hadn’t been home in sometime, he missed his family.

Janet saw the look on Jaggers’ face and knew he had enough. She approached the photographer and put a hand on his shoulder.

"That will be enough for now, Julian, let’s take five." She said.

The photographer from Spin Magazine gave her a mock hurt look as he took the camera off from around his neck.

"But Janet, I was just getting started." He whined giving Jagger a leering stare.

"You must admit, he is utterly divine." He crooned.

Janet smiled in agreement. "Yes, but I believe he is also utterly straight."

The photographer pouted sorrowfully and Janet laughed.

"Go on now Julian, I can't have you seducing all my male clients can I?"

"Kill joy." He huffed then stalked out of the studio.  
Janet Winter looked over at Jagger who was gently extracting the arm of the young female model from off his shoulder. She looked like she was falling asleep on him.

Janet frowned. She hated the new "gaunt" look. The models they were sending her were dropping like flies, either from malnutrition or anorexia. It was becoming a damn nuisance, and an expensive one at that. It was getting harder and harder to find good models who could take the strenuous demands of the work while being 30 lbs. under weight. But she needed them, dropping or not. They sold magazines, and magazines sold her products.

She looked at her current ‘product’ with an appreciative eye. She had worked with many celebrities in and out of the Biz that were sexy as hell but none of them exuded the animal magnetism that Jagger Taylor-Kinney did.

 

He radiated an impish boyish charm mixed with an undercurrent of virile masculine promise. His chest and stomach were rippled with muscles. His skin had a golden brown hue from long hours in the Sun. If he ever decided to give up his music career, he could make a mint modeling, Janet mused. Perhaps she could negotiate a deal with Christian Dior to have Jagger model his Fall collection this summer in France. Jagger would be there performing. It could be a win-win situation. She had no doubt Christian would jump at the chance to have the lead singer from “No apologies, No regrets” model his clothes for him.

 

As the publicist of the hottest rock star today, she had to keep her options open, her ideas fresh. There were agents lined up who would kill to represent Jagger. And not just for the money and recognition. Jagger Taylor-Kinney was a ‘hot’ commodity, in more ways then one.

 

Janet got aroused just looking at him. His father, Brian Kinney, was the only other man that Janet knew of who could rival Jaggers’ good looks.

 

She remembered the first time she met Brian Kinney. He hired her as his publicist for Kinnetik New York. He wanted Kinnetik’s number to be on speed dial on every fat cat’s cell in the city. And Janet delivered. By the time she was through, Kinnetik was the hippest, trendiest advertising agency in the country. Clients were lined up around the corner for his services. And Janet stood at the front of that line. Only the services she desired were more of a carnal nature.

Sadly, Mr. Kinney was not interested. She knew he was gay, but he wouldn’t have been the first Gay man Janet slept with. Unfortunately there was a delicious little blonde in his life, (who Janet wouldn’t have minded fucking either), that had his full attention and nothing Janet could do, or anyone else for that matter she believed, could change that.

Still, she was grateful to him. He introduced her to some very high profile clients, including his son, Jagger Taylor-Kinney, who currently was her number one client. And, thankfully, straight. Janet so loved the fringe benefits of her job. She was hoping to collect on one in particular very soon..

 

"Mr. Taylor-Kinney?" The voice of the gofer broke though Janet’s musings.

 

"Over there." Janet pointed to where Jagger now stood, wiping off his makeup in front of the mirrored dressing table. The gofer, who was a young boy, went over to him and handed him a brown paper bag. Janet followed in his wake.

 

Jagger reached in to his pocket and handed the boy a 10-dollar bill. "Here, thanks a lot."

 

The boy shook his head. "No sir. Ms. Winters said the agency will pick up all expenses." He explained.

Jagger gave Janet an annoyed look before turning his attention back to the boy.

 

"Keep it for yourself."

The boy gave Jagger a grateful smile and pocketed the bill.

 

"Thanks. I really love your music man." He murmured slyly.

 

Jagger smiled brightly at him. “Thanks.” He said.

 

Janet got everyone’s attention in the studio by clapping her hands twice.

“All right, everybody, out. I want a few minutes alone with our star." She ordered.

 

Everybody, including the delivery boy, proceeded to file out of the studio leaving Janet alone with Jagger.

 

Jagger collapsed in the chair in front of the dressing table and opened the bag, pulling out a cup of Strawberry ice cream from with-in. He put a spoon full of the sweet dessert into his mouth, threw back his head and closed his eyes in sheer delight.

"Funny, I never pictured you as the "ice-cream" type. You look more like the Scotch and water type to me." Janet interrupted his obvious joy and leaned back against the dressing table folding her arms as she stared down at him.

 

Jagger peeked up at her with one eye, then put another spoonful in his mouth and ignored her.

"Jagger, look at me.”

"I'd rather not."

"Oh?" she countered. "Don't you think I'm pleasing to look at?" Janet threw back her glossy red hair and pouted her lips.

 

"You know you are very beautiful Janet and very vain." he added. "Yet like this ice-cream I am eating, you are exceedingly cold, but not as sweet." He continued eating.

"Then we have something in common. Judging from the way you treated your father on Sunday, I'd say you could be pretty cold yourself."

Jaggers’ hand stilled half way to his mouth.

 

Fucking nosey bitch knew way too much about his personal life.

Last Sunday, he and Brian had words over Jagger missing his narcotics anonymous meeting. Ever since his relapse last year, Brian had been keeping very close tabs on him.

It was Brian’s idea to hire Janet as his publicist. Brian also hired his manager, Mark. Though they worked for him, Jagger knew they reported back to Brian.

Jagger felt suffocated with the constant scrutiny he got from all those around him. Everyone was waiting for him to fuck up again. He really could give a shit what his manager, publicist, band members or fucking fans thought. But he DID care what his Dad thought. And to Jagger, that was exactly what Brian was. His Dad. And not just because he adopted him, but because the past several years had bonded them in a way only a father and son could bond.

Brian loved him. At first, Jagger had a hard time adjusting to that fact. Other than his sister, no one had loved him. And he was under no illusions why Lizzy loved him. Lizzy was very innocent, and saw Jagger through ‘her’ eyes. Much like she saw her mother. She only saw the good, and if there was none, she’d fabricate it.

Brian however had no such illusions. He saw Jagger, the real Jagger. The drug-addicted prostitute who’d sell his soul for a fix. Yet he still loved him.

Jagger knew with an absolute certainty that if he ever dug himself in a hole so deep he couldn’t get out Brian wouldn’t throw him a line; he would climb in that hole with him. Brian knew what it was like to be in that hole, and he would gladly go back in it just to show Jagger the way out.

It unnerved Jagger, yet there was a deep part of him that gloried in the knowledge that someone cared that much. And because of that devotion, that love, Jagger wanted, no needed, Brian’s approval. Brian believed in him. He was not about to let him down again.

Last year, when he relapsed, it killed Jagger. Not so much because he hurt himself but because he knew his relapse hurt Brian.

Oddly, it was DJ (which was what Jagger took to calling Justin after he and Brian adopted him; short for Daddy Justin) who helped him through that last rough patch and not Brian.

Going through rehab was easy. Facing his Dad wasn’t. He couldn’t stand to see the look of pain in his eyes. It was like he was reliving his own fucked up childhood each time he visited Jagger in rehab.

Each time Brian came to see him, Jagger would put up a tough front. He’d tell him he was doing great, and that it was only a minor set back. He told Brian that he was stupid, but he learned his lesson.

But when DJ visited, he’d break down and pour his soul out. He had fucked up BIG time. The sudden fame of his band, in particular his fame as the lead singer/guitarist, was too much for him to handle. He was literally drowning in it all. The fans, the sex, the drugs and the booze all flowed too freely and Jagger fell hard. He clung to DJ for support. After all it was DJ who helped him detox that first time when he was just 13. And it was DJ who once again saved him this last time.

It could not have been easy on DJ either. Not only was he dealing with his shit, he knew he was dealing with Bran’s own sense of failure. Though he’d never show it in front of Jagger, Jagger knew his Dad too well. Brian felt personally responsible for the well-being of his family. If anyone he loved got hurt Brian internalized it. At those times, only Justin could get through to him.

It was a difficult time but they all managed to get through it, and they were stronger for it. The Taylor-Kinney’s were nothing if not resilient. It didn’t escape Jagger how truly lucky he was to be part of their family.

 

Now six years and one relapse later; Jagger was living a life he only dreamed about.

But his dream came with a price. If he wanted to get his music heard, he had to play by the music industries rules. For them it was all about his ‘image’. His songs couldn’t get heard unless they had a hit video on MTV showcasing them.

He had to be featured in the ‘right’ magazines, be  
seen on the right talk shows, and perform in the most sought out venues.

That’s where Janet came in. His remarkable success was pretty much the direct result of her. He would never have gotten the exposure had it not been for her skills as a publicist. She was the best in her field. Yet Janet also came with a price. One that was getting exceedingly hard to pay.

He sighed dejectedly and replaced the spoon in the ice-cream cup, somewhat wearily.

 

"Look Janet, I know your game," He placed the ice cream on the dressing table and stood up facing her.

"I'm just real tired of playing it. What do you want? A fuck? Is that it? Will that make you ‘feel’ relevant?" He said ignoring the way she flinched at his words.

He placed his hands on either side of the table where she leaned and brought his face close to hers.

 

"Do you want from me what you couldn’t get from my father? Is that it?" He asked, searching her eyes.

Janet huffed and turned her eyes away from his intense stare.

“If I really wanted your farther, trust me, I would have had him.” She said with a bravado that didn’t quite register in her voice.

Jagger chuckled deep in his throat.

“Don’t flatter yourself Janet. My farther wouldn’t fuck you if his life depended on it. And not because he’s gay, but because he has taste.” Jagger said.

Janet’s head jerked back as if she were slapped.

“Why you arrogant prick! If it weren’t for me, you’d be playing to hoboes on the streets today!” She spat at him.

"That may be true, but it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re a soulless bitch who’d sell her own mother for five minutes of air time. Some people have morals Janet. Though I’d doubt you’d understand that.” He said, venom dripping from his words.

He had no idea why he was being so cruel to her. Maybe it was because he knew she was using him to further her own goals. Or maybe it was because she did try to seduce his Dad, or maybe it was just because she was a ruthless cunt who WOULD sell her mother for five minutes on Oprah.

Janet leaned into him, her eyes suddenly changing very cold, and calculating.

“You pathetic little shit. You’re so smug with your talk of morals. Such a fool. Here’s a little life lesson for you boy..” Janet dragged out the word ‘boy’ for emphasis.

“If I’ve sold my soul, you’ve reaped the benefits from it. I didn’t see you turning away from all the publicity I got you. Did you ask me how I got you to where you are today? No, of course not. You’d rather sit up on your high moral horse while I get my hands dirty so you can wear the cloak of fame. PAID for, with my soul. Well guess what sweetie? That doesn’t make you any better.” Janet said.

Jagger’s response was not what Janet expected.

He smiled smugly at her. “I never said I was any better. I said my Dad was. As for you selling your soul for my benefit. Bullshit. You don’t make a move unless it benefits you, first and foremost. So let’s not pretend otherwise.” Jagger said.

He grabbed her chin in his hand and leaned forward so his eyes were mere inches from hers.

“Now let me give you a little life lesson..” He said repeating her words.

“I let you represent me because you’re good at your job. But like all things, that can change quickly.” Jagger let that sink in before continuing.

“Age is a mother fucker Janet, and right now, you’re the mother. What are you? 30? 35? Might as well be dead in this business. There’s always someone younger, and smarter waiting in the wings to take over your spot, and believe me, they’d sell more then their soul to get it. So the next time you feel like calling me ‘a pathetic little shit’, think about that.” Jagger retorted then let go of her.

Janet gave him a remorseful look.

“I’m sorry for calling you that. It was uncalled for.” She conceded.

“But don’t ever underestimate the ability of us ‘older’ people in the Biz to out maneuver the younger ones on any given day. Age also has its advantages. Besides, no one knows better than us veterans that our days are numbers. But like any good squirrel, we’ve been busy storing up for the winter. And that means more nuts for you sweetie. No rookie can do that for you. They need to earn their rep first. In this business, paying dues still counts. I’ve paid mine.” Janet retorted raising a challenging brow at him.

“Touché.” Jagger said with begrudging respect..

Janet nodded her head and cleared her throat, stepping away from him.

"It's after 12,” she said switching gears. She was all business again.

“Lets take a break and come back around 1. I want to finish this up today.” She said.

Jagger went to retrieve his jacket.

“I’m done. I’m going to my sisters’ graduation party.” He said.

“Graduation party? Why wasn’t I informed?” She huffed indignantly.

“Um, maybe because it’s none of your fucking business.” Jagger replied.

Janet fumed. “But I booked the studio until 4! We need more shots.” she protested.

“Forget it. You’ll have to choose something from those we took this morning. If you need anything else, call Mark. I’ll be unavailable for the next week. Then I’ll be in Europe for the summer.” He said.

Mark, his manager, had booked the European tour, Janet had publicized it.

“Will you call me when you get back?” Janet asked uncertainty in her voice.

Jagger sighed as he reached the door.. “Yeah. I’ll call you.” He said then walked out.

Part of what Janet said was true and it stung. He did need her services. As despicable as her tactics were at times it got his music heard. And for him, it was all about the music. His Dads believed he was gifted and that gift should be shared with the world. He didn’t know if that was true, but Jagger lived for his music. Having it heard, and appreciated by others was just icing on the cake.

Janet was responsible for his success. Regardless of the fact she did everything for her own selfish reasons, he DID benefit from her work. Because of her, his music was selling around the world, gaining him fame and fortune in the process. Jagger could not feel guilty about it. Fame and fortune had it’s perks that went beyond getting the best table at Spargo’s; it gave him the artistic freedom to create the music he wanted to.

It also gave him the opportunity to give back through his foundation that his uncle Adam set up for him. The ‘Jagger Taylor-Kinney foundation for emerging young artists’ awarded poor talented musicians scholarships to attend music schools they could never afford otherwise. DJ was so proud of him when he approached him with the idea. He told Jagger it was a very kind and noble thing to do.

Jagger laughed at the memory as he got into his Jaguar, which was another perk of fame and fortune.

He started the engine and pulled out into the street and headed towards his Aunt Rena’s house where his sisters’ graduation party was being held. He did not attend the ceremony at her school because he didn’t want to risk the paparazzi finding out and making a spectacle out of Lizzy’s special day. Now THAT he did feel guilty about.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the Tiffany diamond necklace he bought for his sister. Another perk…being able to buy his sister all the things they only dreamt about as children when they were digging through the neighbors’ garbage for discarded food because their mother used all their money on drugs.

He shook the memory away and placed the necklace on the passenger side seat of the Jaguar and turned on his CD Player. He leaned back against the soft custom leather seat and sighed deeply in contentment.

His Dad was right he mused. There was nothing noble about being poor…

 

*******************************************

 

“He’s acting ridiculous! Is he trying to ruin this party for Lizzy?” Rena complained handing their four-year-old son, AJ, to her husband John.

“Well you really can’t blame him.” Shane tried to defend.

Rena shot her a deadly glare.

“He just needs time to calm down. James and Mikey are upstairs with him. He’ll be fine.” Ted said not believing one fucking word he just spoke.

Ted turned to his partner Robert, and signed what he just said.

“Dad’s really queening out this time.” Johnny said worriedly.

Most the kids were in the backyard with Nanny Fran and Joan along with their guests including Lizzy’s friends who were all oblivious to what was going on inside. Johnny stayed in the house having been the unfortunate one to answer the door for the unexpected guest and thus witnessed the events that followed.

“Honey why don’t you go outside and have fun! Don’t worry about your Dad sweetie, I’ve known him longer then I care to admit, and trust me, this is nothing. He’s just blowing off some steam. He’ll be fine. Now scoot! Go be a good host.” Deb shooed the reluctant boy out.

Justin walked back in from the front porch and approached the group. Everyone stared at him with expectant eyes.

“Well???” Deb broke the silence.

“He won’t leave.” Justin said through gritted teeth. He was using all his will to stay calm.

Shane cursed. “I can’t believe the balls on him! He drove all the way here to talk to her today, of all days?!” She asked bewildered.

“He doesn’t want to talk to Lizzy, he wants to talk to Brian.” Justin announced.

There was a collective gasp around the room.

“Has he lost his fucking mind!” Deb said echoing the thoughts of everyone in the room.

“No. As much as I HATE to admit this, he’s in love. That’s the only explanation I can think of for him to be that determined to face Brian. I made it very clear what Brian would do to him, realistically. He would ruin his career. He knows between Brian, Rena and John, they’d have him blackballed from practicing medicine anywhere in this country, and a few others. I also made it clear that I would do nothing to stop him. He understands this, and still insists on talking to Brian. He’s outside, waiting in his car.” Justin informed the group.

Jason was a med student. He was starting his internship this Fall. They learned from Lizzy his dream was to open his own practice one day. A dream that he was just informed Brian would crush if he continued his pursuit of Lizzy.

“Jesus Christ! What are you going to do?” Shane asked him.

Justin shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t think Brian is capable of talking rationally to him and I don’t want him creating a scene. Especially today. At all cost we must protect Lizzy from that.” He said.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“We can always have James remove him from the property.” Rena suggested.

Justin cringed. That would take violence and Justin would not condone that. There was only two ways that boy was going to leave. One was by being granted permission to talk to Brian, the other was by violence. Both options did not bode good results.

‘Fuck!’ Justin thought. This was turning into one fine mess.

He thought Brian was going to have a seizure when he heard Jason announce who he was to Johnny. He sprang for the door with intentions to do bodily harm to the boy. Justin reacted immediately and grabbed on to him to stop him but Brian was not to be stopped. Justin had to call out for help. James reflexes were swift and he helped Justin maneuver Brian away from the door. It took him, James and Michael to get Brian up the stairs. Justin then told Brian in no uncertain terms that he was NOT to ruin his daughter’s party. He told Brian to stay upstairs while he got rid of the boy. Unfortunately, hard as he tried, the boy would not leave.

Why did this have to happen today, of all days?

Emmett had taken special care in planning this party. Lizzy was so excited. She’d been through so much. After her last visit home, which was the last time she caught Jason cheating on her with her best friend, she’d bravely went back to school to face them.

Both he and Brian were so proud of her. Jason Albright did what he always did when he fucked up. He begged for forgiveness promising never to do it again. Normally Lizzy would breakdown and forgive him. Not this last time though. Lizzy turned him away. She made it through the rest of the semester, graduated and was planning to accompany Justin to France next week as his assistant.

Justin hoped when they got to France, Lizzy would begin to heal. It was no secret to the family that Lizzy was still very much in love with Jason. But she’d been remarkably strong and determined to get over him.

Emmett went all out on her behalf. He transformed Rena’s backyard into a Princess fairytale complete with white ponies wearing horns to make them look like unicorns, and drag queens dressed up like faeries (not a stretch by any means). There was even a great big May pole in the middle of the yard. The fare was fit for a princess as well. Roasted Pheasant, and meat pies. Luscious desserts and wine served in tin goblets. It was truly a grand affair.

They were all hoping this party would help her forget about Mr. Albright, at least for one day.

Now Justin worried how her resolve would hold up once she found out the boy made his way here, to face the Lion, in order to win her back.

He didn’t even want to think how Jagger would react to all of this. Lizzy never told him of her troubles with Jason, nor did anyone else in the family out of respect for Lizzy’s wishes.

Jagger could be just as ruthless, if not more so, then Brian when it came to protecting Lizzy.

As if on cue, a chorus of excited screams pierced the walls of the house from outside.

Only Jagger could cause a ruckus like that Justin thought. All of Lizzy’s friends, along with every other red-blooded American teenage girl, was in love with him.

“Sound’s like the family star is home.” Shane said smiling.

She and Jagger got along amazingly well. Shane related to Jagger on a personal level. She was also victim to an addicted mothers’ abuse. Each had overcome the stigma of their childhood. Jagger was now clean, and Shane no longer cut.

Justin went to the huge French doors to look out into the backyard. There stood Jagger, embracing his sister as throngs of young girls, and boys gathered around. He noticed he brought his guitar. Looks like the band Emmett hired is going to have to share the stage he thought.

Jagger released his sister; giving her a big kiss on the cheek then turned his head to spot DJ staring at him through the glass doors. He frowned. He could tell something was wrong.

He excused himself, promising to come back and play a song for them. This was met with another round of high-pitched excited screams.

He made his way into the house and was warmly greeted by his family. Once he properly kissed, and received each family member, he turned to DJ.

Justin smiled at him and opened his arms. Jagger went eagerly into them, crushing Justin in a bear hug.

“I missed you” He whispered for Justin’s ears only.

“Me too.” Justin whispered back then pulled away to hold Jagger at arms length.

“You look….” Justin trailed off, his eyes misting.

Jagger tilted his head. “What?”

“Just like your Dad.” Justin said quietly.

Jagger beamed. It was the greatest compliment to him to be compared to his Dad.

“Thanks DJ.” He said a little embarrassed.

“So what’s up?” He asked feeling the tension in the room.

Justin turned away from Jagger and towards the French doors to see if everyone was having a good time. He hoped no one noticed a few family members were missing.

“Did you say hello to your Auntie Em?” Justin asked absentmindedly.

“You know he went through a lot of trouble putting this party together. It wasn’t easy, especially since this is the first party he’s thrown since Vic died….” Justin sounded far away.

Deb turned to leave the room. Her brother passed away in his sleep six months ago. The family was still mourning his loss.

Jagger heard the dejected sorrow in his voice and started getting nervous. What was making him so morose?

“DJ, tell me, what’s going on?” Jagger said coming up behind Justin and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Justin turned around to face his adopted son. Jagger could not be any closer to him if he were of his own blood. They’d been through so much together. It wasn’t going to be easy to tell him that he’d been keeping secrets from him. He knew Jagger would feel betrayed.

“How did Lizzy seem to you?” Justin asked.

Jagger looked confused for a second, then thought about it. Yes, she was very happy to see him, but there was something in her eyes…

“Sad.” He said suddenly realizing Lizzy did look sad. Why should she be sad on such a happy day? He quickly scanned the room and panicked.

“Where’s Dad?!” He asked.

Justin saw the look of fear cross Jaggers’ eyes.

“He’s upstairs Jagger, and fine. We have another problem.” Justin said.

Jagger breathed in a sigh of relief.

“What problem?” He asked.

That one question managed to clear the room Jagger noticed. This could not be good.

Justin led Jagger over to the couch where they both sat down. Justin proceeded to tell Jagger all about Lizzy’s past year at school and her relationship with the cheating Jason Albright.

When he was done, Jagger looked at him with hurt eyes.

“Why didn’t you or Dad tell me?” He asked

"Because your sister didn’t want you to know. She was afraid of what you would do.” Justin informed him.

Jagger cursed. “As well she should have been. It’s a good thing she finally gave him the boot. I know how Lizzy is. Once she believes in someone, nothing or no one can make her change her mind. She always made excuses for our mother, no matter what shit she did to us. I can just see her making excuses for some boy she loves. I’m surprised Dad didn’t put an end to it before Lizzy finally did.” Jagger said.

“Oh he wanted to, believe me. But I convinced him it would only make her want him more. She needed to figure this one out on her own. She’s not a kid anymore.” Justin said.

Jagger reluctantly agreed. If he or Brian chased this Jason character away, it would only entice Lizzy to want him more.

“I understand now why you look so stressed. I can see Lizzy is pretending to be happy. She’s really heartbroken, isn’t she?” Jagger asked.

“Yes, she is. But that isn’t want concerns me at the moment. We have a situation on our hands. One that I’m going to need your help with.” Justin said.

Jagger sat up straight. “Sure DJ, anything you need. What’s up?” Jagger asked.

“Jason is here and wants to speak to your Dad.” Justin blurted out.

Jagger blinked several times before responding.

“What do you mean here?” He said in a tight voice.

Justin reached out and grabbed Jaggers arm in a tight grip expecting him to bolt at his next words.

“He drove all the way here from North Carolina to speak to Brian. That is why your Dad is upstairs. Your uncle James and uncle Michael are with him trying to calm him down. I tried to get him to leave but he won’t.” Justin said, he could feel Jaggers’ muscles tense under his hand.

“Listen to me Jagger, are you listening?” Justin urged Jagger to hear him.

Jagger nodded.

“Know that what you do next, will affect your sister, so think before you react.” He said.

Jagger closed his eyes and cursed. He could see the predicament they were in right now. No one wanted to ruin Lizzy’s day. Now he understood why his Dad was upstairs. He didn’t want to cause a scene.

“What are we going to do?” Jagger finally said opening his eyes.

Justin searched his eyes before releasing his grip on his arm.

“I told Jason that Brian would ruin any chance he had of a career in medicine should he pursue Lizzy, but he didn’t care. Jagger, as much as I hate to admit this, I think he really loves Lizzy.” Justin said.

Jaggers’ mouth dropped open.

“He should have thought about that before he fucked her best friend!” He said astonished.

“Yes, I know, but there is nothing we can do about that. We need to figure out what to do now. Jason is outside waiting in his car and won’t leave until he talks to Brian.” Justin said.

“So, let him.” Jagger said smirking.

Justin narrowed his eyes.

“Not funny.”

“No seriously DJ, let Dad talk to him. Just have them talk somewhere away from here. This way Lizzy won’t even have to know about it. What’s the worse that can happen?” He ventured.

“Um, I’ll be bailing your father out of jail?” Justin said tongue in cheek.

Jagger laughed. “That’s a possibility, but what other options do we have? Call the police? Um, I think Lizzy will notice that. Have James physically remove him? I think he’d make a stink so loud Lizzy would notice that as well. But if Dad agrees to talk to him, say at the loft, he can get Jason out of here quietly, with no one knowing he was ever here. Send Zen Ben and James with Dad if you’re worried he won’t be able to contain his temper.” Jagger reasoned.

Justin frowned. He didn’t like it, but Jagger was right. It was the only way. He knew Brian would agree to it, only because he wanted a chance to get his hands around that boy’s neck, but if he sent Ben and James with him, they could hold Brian back, and the kid could get whatever it was he wanted to say off his chest, and Liz need not ever know.

He would have to stay behind else Lizzy would get suspicious. He could make some excuse that the guys went to get some more food or beer, or whatever, but he couldn’t excuse both of them being gone.

Justin let out a long breath and got up.

“Lets go get your Dad.” He said.

Jagger rose and followed Justin up the stairs.

 

***************************************************

 

“What the fuck!” Brian said for the hundred time as he continued to wear a path in Rena’s Moroccan rug from his pacing.

Michael was losing patience with his best friend. They’d be held up in Rena’s bedroom for over a half hour now and Brian had not calmed down one bit.

He turned to James.

"He keeps saying that, are we suppose to answer him?” He asked.

James shrugged.

Brian stopped and headed towards Rena’s master bathroom.

Michael once again turned to James.

“Should we follow him?” He asked

James narrowed his eyes for a second then nodded.

“He might try climbing out the window.” He said.

Though they were two stories up, John had installed roll up fire ladders at every window since their son was born.

They followed Brian into the bathroom to find him taking a piss.

Brian turned to them and made a face.

“What the fuck!” He repeated his mantra.

“Jesus Brian will you stop saying that and calm the fuck down!” Michael said.

There was a soft knock at the door before Jagger poked his head in.

“Um, please tell me you’re not that gay that you guys all have to go to the bathroom at same time. I thought only girls did that.” Jagger teased.

“Jagger!” Brian cheerily greeted his son and put his dick back his pants, flushing the toiled.

“That’s improvement. At least he didn’t say what the fuck again.” James remarked.

Brian pushed past Michael and James and embraced his son.

“When did you get in? You never called me back last night.” Brian complained.

“Um, Dad, I was busy, ok.” Jagger said winking.

Brian made a face as if he just ate something bad.

“Stood up your own Dad for pussy! Disgusting. Now if it were dick, preferably nine inch cut, then I’d understand.” He joked with his son.

“Hey, I happen to LOVE cock.” Jagger announced indignantly.

“Just my own, that is. It gives me hours and hours of unbelievable pleasure! Now how can any other cock compare?” Jagger teased back.

Brian laughed.

“So, you planning on coming downstairs, or are you and Uncle Mikey and Uncle James having some sort of freaky three way sex?” Jagger said then ‘tsk’d’ his Dad.

“I don’t think DJ would approve.” He said.

Brian’s eyes grew angry.

“Listen Jagger, we have a situation.” Brian started.

“He knows.” Justin said from the bedroom door.

Brian looked over at Justin and frowned.

“You told him?”

“Yes. And he’s taking it far better than you I might add. He understands how important this party is to Liz.”   
Justin reprimanded.

 

Brian snorted.

“Dad just go talk to the boy.” Jagger said

Brian gave him a look.

“Jagger, it’s not that easy. You haven’t seen how much misery this boy has caused your sister this past year. I would have set him straight months ago but my oh so smart partner wouldn’t let me.” Brian snarled throwing Justin a menacing look.

Justin let out an exasperated breath.

“Yes, this is my fault of-course.” He said sarcastically.

“Well I listened to you, and here we are. I told you that boy wasn’t going to give up unless I dealt with him.” Brian accused.

Justin folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe.

“Well here is your chance. Go talk to him.” He challenged.

Brian smiled evilly.

“Finally you’ve come to your senses!” Brian said then headed towards Justin, and the way out.

Justin put his hand out to stop him.

“But not here. At Tremont, in our loft. And you take Ben and James with you.” Justin said.

“What the fuck!” Brian said.

Michael huffed. “Again with the ‘what the fuck’” He said throwing his hands up.

“It was Jaggers idea actually, so you can thank him. If it were up to me, I’d have you stew up here all night. But this won’t end until you talk to him.” Justin said.

“Brian, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think the boy actually loves her. Now before you scream at me, I’m in no way saying that as an excuse for his behavior, I’m just stating a fact. Consider that when you have your talk with him, ok?” Justin said.

Brian curled his lip in disgust.

“Love..” Brian spat the word out.

“See Sunshine, I told you. Love is just a word to excuse the most preposterous behavior! People do all sorts of hurtful things in the name of love! What a farce the whole concept is.” He said.

“Ok, that was hurtful.” Justin said, his own eyes glaring.

Brian cursed. “Don’t make this about us. You know I’m talking about straight peoples concept of love, not ours.” He said.

“Ok, that was hurtful.” Jagger repeated Justin’s words

“Fuck.” Brian said.

There was a knock on the door behind Justin.

Justin turned to answer it. Johnny was standing there looking very nervous.

“Everything is fine Johnny, go back down stairs, your Dad and I will be down in a minute.” Justin said soothingly to him.

“Um Daddy J, that boy Jason Albright wants to talk to you.” Johnny said nervously.

“I know honey, your farther is going down now to talk to him.” Justin said.

“He don’t have to, he’s right here. I brought him up.” Johnny said moving aside. Jason stepped forward.

Before anyone could react, Jagger grabbed Jason by the shirt with one hand, pulling him into the room, then pulled his other hand back and punched him dead in the face.  
Brian cursed and grabbed Jagger off of the boy.

Jason slumped to the floor. James lifted the boy and held him up under his arms. He was nearly unconscious.

Justin pulled Johnny into the room and closed the door behind them.

“It’s ok, no one’s going to hit anyone again.” Justin promised his son who was clearly unnerved by the incident.

Jagger was twisting in his Dads’ arms, trying to free himself to get another shot at the boy who broke his sisters heart.

“ENOUGH!” Brian roared shaking Jagger.

“Jagger stop!” Johnny’s voice penetrated Jaggers rage and he calmed.

“Sorry Johnny, but he deserved it.” Jagger threw his little brother a lopsided grin.

Brian let Jagger go and approached the boy who seemed to be coming around.

 

He lifted his head by his chin with one hand and gave it a jerk, forcing him to open his eyes and look at him.

Brian had to begrudgingly admit he saw why Lizzy was taken with the boy. He was very handsome.

Jason’s mind rebelled at darkness that threatened to overcome him. He needed to be conscious. He made a decision, and no matter what it cost him, he was going through with it. He owed that much to Lizzy.

“Don’t you dare pass out on me boy, you hear? I haven’t even begun to deal with you.” Brian said in a deadly calm voice.

No one in the room spoke.

Jason adjusted his eyes and met Brian’s.

“I won’t pass out.” He said.

Brian nodded then released his hold on the boys chin, a bit roughly.

James still held on to him, locking his arms behind him. Jason didn’t resist.

“Why are you here.” Brian asked.

“Where else would I be?” Jason answered confusing everyone in the room.

“I’m warning you. Don’t play games with me.” Brian warned.

“I’m not. I’m here because I can’t be anywhere else. If you kill me, then do it. I don’t have the courage to do it myself. But I can’t live without Lizzy. I love her.” He said.

Brian laughed bitterly.

“Love? Is this some sick joke? You had many chances to ‘love’ Lizzy. Instead, you hurt her. You made her promises you had no intentions of keeping. That’s not love, that’s hate.” Brian said.

Jason shook his head in denial.

“No, you’re wrong. I never intentionally lied to Lizzy! Yes, I admit, the first couple of times I cheated I knew I hurt her, but I never intended to! The last time I cheated on purpose, I admit, but only because she hurt me.” Jason tried to explain.

“LYING FUCK!” Jagger lunged forward again to hit him.

James turned the boy away and took the brunt of Jaggers punch to his left arm before Brian could pull him back. James didn’t flinch.

“Jesus fucking Christ Jag, did I tell you to knock it off!” Brian reprimanded.

“I won’t stand by and listen to him lie about my sister! Lizzy couldn’t hurt a fly!” Jagger defended his actions.

Jason forced James to turn him back to face Brian and Jagger.

“Not intentionally, she wouldn’t. I know that. But that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. I didn’t understand at the time. Truth is, I didn’t believe it.” Jason said.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Brian demanded.

Jason sighed, knowing this part of the story was not going to be easy, and might just possibly get him killed.

“When I first met Lizzy I fell hard. I had many girlfriends before. I even believed I was in love before, but I never felt anything like I felt, feel, for Lizzy. We started dating and my whole fucking world changed. I asked her to marry me.” Jason said.

Brian looked to Justin. This was news to them, though why would the boy lie? He knew all they had to do was ask Lizzy. She was right downstairs.

Justin looked just as confused as his partner. Brian turned back to Jason.

“So she turned you down, that’s why you cheated?” Brian asked disgusted.

“No, she didn’t turn me down. We’ll, not the proposal anyway.” Jason said.

“Please, can we talk in private, this is personal.” He asked Brian with pleading eyes.

Brian was having none of it though.

“Anything you have to say to me you can say in front of these men. They are family, I trust them with mine and Lizzy’s life. It would be an insult to ask them to leave.” Brian said.

Jason groaned. He was surely going to die a slow, painful death.

“Very well. You see, Lizzy is a virgin, and she’s saving herself for marriage.” He said in a very low voice.

“Excuse me?” Brian said not sure he heard correctly. He and Justin assumed Lizzy was having sex with the boy.

“Wait, if that is true, it doesn’t excuse you fucking around. You promised her you wouldn’t.” Justin said.

“I know, and I DID intend to! But, well, fuck I got drunk and horny a couple of times, ok! I NEVER intended for Lizzy to find out! It was just sex! It had nothing to do with our love.” Jason said.

Brian groaned, and Justin threw him a knowing look.

“Seems the chickens have come home to roost.” Justin said to Brian.

“Shut the fuck up.” Brian retorted. He hated the fact that he couldn’t argue Jason’s point. He, himself, in the beginning told Justin it was only sex, every time he went tricking. He still believed one had nothing to do with the other.

“I never lied.” Brian defended himself.

“True.” Justin conceded then turned to Jason.

“It doesn’t make up for lying.

“I told you, I didn’t lie. I never meant to sleep with those girls. It just happened. And only when Billy took me out. If I’d had known then what he was doing…” Jason trailed off.

“Anyway, after the second time, I stopped hanging out with Billy. And things were great between Liz and me; until I found out she was sleeping with Billy. I was devastated! She told me she was saving herself for me! I was so hurt; I wanted to hurt her back. That’s why I fucked her best friend. I knew when I stood her up for lunch she’d go find Melissa. And I wanted her to catch us.” Jason said.

“Dad, I’m going to hit him again I swear!” Jagger said.

Brian was right there with Jagger. That was not who Lizzy was.

“Bullshit. Lizzy would never fuck around. She loved you.” Brian said.

“I know that now, I didn’t know it then. Billy got her drunk one night, and when she was passed out, he had his friend take pictures of her lying on top of him. If you don’t believe me, go in my back pocket, I still have the picture. I couldn’t believe it either, but the picture looked so real, and it’s a Polaroid. Can’t fake that. I was crushed, and confused. I wanted to die.” Jason said.

The room got so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

James released one of Jason’s arms and searched his back pocket. He pulled out the Polaroid; without looking at it, he handed it to Brian.

Brian took it and walked over to Justin.

They looked at the photo for a full minute before their eyes met. Rage flowed through them.

Brian turned back to Jason.

“Who is this Billy?” He demanded.

“Another Med student, who I thought was my friend. I just recently found out he’s had a thing for Lizzy all this time. Those times he took me out and I cheated on Lizzy, he slipped me a ruffie. Then he’d make sure Lizzy found out I cheated. But when that didn’t work to break us up, he set it up so it looked like he and Lizzy were having an affair. I only found out because the guy who took the picture confessed. He got a sudden case of conscious and told me what Billy was doing the whole time. He told me that if he didn’t stop Billy, he would have raped her.” Jason said.

“Mother fucker!” Jagger spit out.

“Jesus Christ Bri.. poor Lizzy.” Michael echoed.

“Where is this Billy?” Brian said calmly. Justin waited for his answer. Party or not, they were about to pay someone a visit.

“In jail. Seems Billy fucked with the wrong girl one night. Slipped her ruffie and raped her. She was sixteen and a judge’s daughter. I thank God Lizzy stopped hanging out with Billy after that incident. She woke up not remembering getting drunk with Billy that night. She told me about it, I didn’t like it when she told me, but I let it go. Then when I saw the picture, well I assumed the worse.” Jason finished his story.

“What jail?” Brian asked.

Jason looked at him confused. “Why does that matter? You can’t get to him, believe me, I wanted to. It was my first instinct, and when he gets out, I promise you, one of us will be going back to jail.” Jason said with a passion that was undeniable.

Everyone in that room believed him.

“Because, there is more then one way to skin a cat. Tell me what jail is he in?” Brian asked.

Justin knew what Brian was doing. He wanted the name of the jail so he could first visit the boy, just to let him know that what was about to happen to him was his doing on Lizzy’s behalf, then he would have Adam use his connections to ensure that the boy spends the maximum amount of time there is for rape there is in the state of North Carolina and in a prison of his choosing. One with the highest incidents of inmate on inmate rapes. In Brian’s eyes, there was nothing worse than a rapist. And anyone who rapes children was the worse scum of all.

Jason’s blood ran cold. He got the feeling something very bad was about to happen to Billy, and part of him took pleasure at that knowledge.

He told them the name of the jail Billy was in.

James released Jason so suddenly he feel forward on his knees.

“It would appear both you and Lizzy were victims of this boy’s machinations.” Brian said.

Justin turned to Johnny to see how he was handling all of this. The boy was white.

“Johnny, go get Lizzy. Bring her up here.” Justin said.

Johnny slowly nodded his head.

 

“And don’t say a word to anyone about what was said in here.” He said.

“I won’t, I promise.” Johnny said then left the room to get Lizzy.

Justin approached Jason who was now standing back up.

 

“I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused Lizzy.” Jason said, tears in his eyes.

“You should be.” Brian said.

 

“You should have trusted her more. And you should have been smarter. After the first time you woke up in another girls bed not remembering how you got there, you should have figured out something was very wrong. You showed poor judgment in trusting someone like Billy.” Justin added.

Michael and James looked at Justin somewhat surprised. They expected Brian to be unforgiving, but not Justin. It was obvious the boy loved Lizzy, and had no ill intent towards her. Both young lovers suffered if all Jason said was true. And it appeared to be.

Even Brian looked at his partner somewhat surprised, yet said nothing.

“Lizzy deserves the truth, we’ll grant you that. And if she decides to get back together with you, we’ll respect her choice. But don’t ever make the mistake of not trusting her again. We may forgive you this time, we won’t figure you again.” Justin said.

All three men understood now where Justin was coming from. He and Brian had gone through so much together, and nearly lost each other because of trust. Justin nearly killed himself when Brian was in a comma cause he didn’t trust himself enough to live without Brian. If he would have went through with it, it would have been a death sentence for Brian as well, cause he would have blamed himself for Justin’s actions.

Yes, trust was very, very important to Justin. And he wanted to make that point to Jason. He knew his daughter and Jason would probably end up back together, and he never wanted his daughter to suffer the hurt, the devastating hurt that came from not trusting or honoring the trust of the one you loved.

 

 

 

Later that night Brian and Justin lay in bed, exhausted from their lovemaking, each sated with the days, and nights events.

Justin reached over and took a cigarette out of Brian’s pack and lit it.

Brian raised his brow.

“I thought you wanted me to cut down.” He said.

Justin took a deep satisfying drag and handed the cigarette to Brian.

“Sometimes you just need a smoke.” He said and snuggled closer to Brian’s warmth.

Brian chuckled.

“Have you ever seen Lizzy happier?” He asked as he took a drag.

“No.” Justin replied quietly.

 

Learning that she and Jason were both duped by Billy, and that Jason never stopped loving her put a shine in Lizzy’s eyes that was heartwarming. She floated on air the whole day. She couldn’t have gotten a better graduation present. Their joy was tangible, and shared by all.

“So you bringing him out to France next month?” Justin asked taking the cigarette back from Brian. He took one last drag then crushed it out in the ashtray on the nightstand.

“Nah..let him find his own way. I’ve no doubt he will.”

Both men laughed.

Though Lizzy and Jason reunited Lizzy intended to keep her commitment to go to France for the summer with Justin. It was a good sign. Their little girl was growing up. Jason was disappointed, but promised to come and visit her. And of course Justin had no doubt they would be calling and emailing each other everyday.

“Have I told you how much I love you lately?” Brian asked out of the blue.

Justin looked up at him. Though he had no doubt what so ever Brian loved him, it was the rare occasion Brian would voice it.

“Why Mr. Kinney, I do believe the young lovers have brought out the romantic in you!” Justin teased.

Brian made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat.

“Please, I’m sooo glad I’m not that young and stupid anymore.” Brian said.

“You were never stupid. And you’re still very young.  
Considering how you just fucked me into the mattress, how could you even doubt that? ” Justin said.

 

Brian leaned over and kissed him.

“You always say just the right thing Sunshine.” Brian whispered.

“Of course I do. Would expect less from someone who had the SAT scores I had?” Justin asked impishly.

“Never less…”Brian said sleepily..

The lay in silence for a few minutes each lost in their own thoughts.

“I’m going to miss you.” Justin said breaking the silence.

Brian sighed. “Me too Sunshine, but it’s only a month. 3 ½ weeks to be exact. Once school is out, me and the kids will join you.”

College got out a month earlier then the public schools. Justin had to be in France by the end of May with his art students to prepare for the summer long exhibition which started in June. He was only able to take Lizzy with him. Brian and kids wouldn’t be joining them until the end of June, that’s when the twins and Johnny would be getting out of school.

“I know, but we haven’t been apart for that long in years. Not even your business trip to China was that long. And that was twenty of the longest days of my life.” Justin said.

“Yeah but it was also twenty nights of the best phone and cam sex I’ve ever had.” Brian countered.

 

Justin laughed. “True.” He conceded.

Brian turned quickly and pulled Justin beneath him, startling him.

“Jesus Brian! Didn’t you get enough?” Justin said laughing.

“Never enough…” Brian said and attacked Justin’s mouth.

He started making love to him when suddenly; an overwhelming sense of need assaulted him.

Justin felt it immediately and clung to Brian. It was almost frightening. Brian was touching him all over; driving into him with such force it took Justin’s breath away. It felt as if Brian was imprinting all of Justin on to him, mind body and soul so he’d never forget.

When they came, Brian bit into Justin drawing blood, and then licking it up as if it were the source of his own life.

Justin held on to Brian a long while as their bodies stayed connected. When Justin finally went to pull away, Brian protested.

“Brian, what’s wrong.” He asked his lover.

Brian shook as tears suddenly filled his eyes. He turned his head and wiped them away as he pulled out of Justin and rolled over.

He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, shaking, yet he didn’t know why.

“Bri..” Justin sat beside him, concern heavy in his voice.

Brian forced a laugh and looked at Justin.

“I’m just being ridiculously sentimental. Blame our daughter. Her happiness is sickenly addicting.” He said glibly then kissed Justin and got up and went into the bathroom.

Justin watched Brian enter the bathroom and close the door behind him. Something he never did.

 

He gnawed on his bottom lip worriedly. Suddenly, he didn’t want to go to France. He had a feeling Brian didn’t want him to go either, though that was a ridiculous thought. After all, it was a great honor being bestowed on him; he knew Brian was really proud of him. Up until tonight, Justin felt Brian was more excited about spending the summer in France then he was.

Maybe it was just the stress of the day’s events. Learning what happened to Lizzy was very stressful to hear. And Brian’s doctor told them his blood pressure was up due to too much stress.

Yes, that was it. Brian was under too much stress. Tomorrow he would call a family meeting. From now, until Brian joined him in France, Justin was going to make sure everyone in the family work together to keep their home as stress free as possible. He’d have to call Ted tomorrow as well and tell him the same thing. Brian was to have no stress while he was gone.

Once that decision was made, Justin felt much better.

Still… he didn’t like how Brian was acting tonight. There was something very wrong…..

Justin chased that thought away when he saw Brian come out of the bathroom looking as gorgeous as ever. He got into their bed and pulled Justin into him, tucking him into his side, spooning, as he does every night before going to sleep.

“I’m just being silly.” Justin thought as he drifted off to sleep.

 

That night Justin dreamt of Brian’s brother, Andy.


	4. Life's Stormy Voyage

“Theodore where are the boards for the Nokia account!” Brian roared.

“Brian are you listening to me?” Justin said over the speakerphone.

“I’m quite talented, or haven’t you noticed Sunshine? I can work and talk at the same time. If you’d like, we can have phone sex too. Just give me a minute to lock the door.” Brian replied.

Justin smiled at the teasing note in Brian’s voice.

“Ohhh, now that’s flattering! You can have phone sex with me and work at the same time? I guess the honeymoon is over.” He teased back.

Brian snorted.

“Straight people do honeymoons, dykes do honeymoons, dickless fags do honeymoons, “I” don’t do honeymoons.” Brian said haughtily.

Justin sighed dramatically. “Well then I guess I’ll just have to find a dickless fag if I want a honeymoon.” Justin quipped.

“Watch it…” Brian warned.

Justin laughed. “Seriously, I can’t wait till you get here. This place is a palace. It’s amazing Rena turned out so unpretentious growing up surrounded by all this luxury. ” Justin said.

“Who says she’s unpretentious? She’s a spoiled brat. The woman won’t sleep on anything that has less than a 1000 thread count.” Brian said.

“I thought that was just a family trait.” Justin quipped over the phone.

“Speaking of brats and family traits, our daughter is turning into quite the brat.” Brian informed Justin.

Justin grew serious. “You have to be more stern with her Brian! We talked about this. You indulge them to no end then are surprised when they misbehave. What did she do now?” He asked.

“I don’t think my indulgence is the problem, Her problem is that she has her Daddy’s impulsive nature. She left the school grounds yesterday to follow a hurt bird she saw limping because it’s wing was broken. The teacher found her and reprimanded her for wandering off without permission to which our lovely daughter responded by reprimanding her back. She informed her teacher that it was irresponsible of her not to have noticed the hurt bird and then had the audacity to ask her how many hurt children went unnoticed on the playground. I can just imagine what her SAT scores are going to be.” Brian mused absentmindedly.

“She did not!” Justin said astonished. Brian laughed.

“Oh yes she did. I had a talk with Mrs. Braeback yesterday.” He said.

“Well I hope you assured her we would talk to Maria about her behavior.” Justin asked.

“Actually, no I didn’t. Fucking condescending bitch spoke to me like I was one of her students. So when she told me what Maria said, I answered by repeating Maria’s question. I asked her just how closely were the children watched on the playground and how many injury related incidents did the school report last year.” Brian said.

Justin gasped. “BRI…”

“Got it! Never mind Ted, I found them.” Brian shouted interrupting Justin.

“Brian I swear to God!!!” Justin said through gritted teeth.

“What? I found the Nokia boards!” Brian answered cheerily.

“Focus Bri,..focus!” Justin ordered.

Brian raised his eyebrow as if Justin could see him and stared at the speakerphone.

“Don’t even think it Justin. You’re fucking four thousand miles away. I don’t need you criticizing how I handle things home while you’re gone. Why don’t you just go hang your paintings or something.” Brian bit out sarcastically.

Justin cursed silently. He’d been in France one week, and Brian was getting more and more testy with him each time they spoke on the phone. He knew Brian was missing him, and worried, though Justin had no idea why. The flight went fine, the show’s preparations were going smoothly, and, well, it was France, Loire Valley and he was staying at one of the most beautiful Chateau’s in the country. Still, he knew Brian wouldn’t relax until he joined him. For some reason, Brian was very uneasy about this trip.

“I’m fine Brian.” Justin answered in response to Brian’s retort.

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t mind me, it’s just…”

“I know. I miss you too.” Justin said, voicing out loud both their sentiments.

 

“Bri, Gus is on line two.” Shane called over the intercom.

Shane took over Cynthia’s role as Brian’s personal secretary six years ago. When she asked for time off to be with her kids last year Brian replied by putting in a day care center. It actually turned out to be a great idea. Employees took less sick days, and job performance had improved. Kinnetik was putting out some of its best work ever these days. Shane then suggested a ‘job sharing’ program that allowed mothers to share their job with other mothers so they could spend more time with their children. The situation worked out well for everyone. Productivity was up, morale was up, and that equaled increased profits. Brian could not be happier.

 

“Put him through.” Brian said.

“Hey dad!” Gus’s voice squeaked over the phone. He was just ten, yet his voice was already starting to change.

“Hey sonny boy. Say hi to Daddy J, he’s on speaker phone.” Brian said.

“Cool, am I on speaker phone too?” Gus asked.

“Hi Gus. Yes you are.” Justin answered him.

“Hey Daddy J! Guess what?” Gus said excitedly.

“What?” Justin asked.

“I made the team!” Gus informed him.

“That’s great Gus! When did you find out?” Justin asked.

“The coach just called.” Gus said.

“I told you you’d make it, didn’t I?” Brian said smiling.

He taught Gus the game when he was just six and practiced with him every Saturday. Gus had inherited his athletic talent, and his passion for soccer; not to mention his good looks.

“Yeah, but you think I’m good at everything Dad!” Gus said.

“Well you are.” Brian defended.

“We’re very proud of you Gus. When you come to France with your Mom’s we’ll have a party to celebrate.” Justin said.

Brian was flying Gus and his Moms out to see Justin’s show in July.

“Um, ok..” Gus said.

Both Brian and Justin could hear the uncertainty in Gus’s voice.

“What’s wrong sonny boy?” Brian asked; his tone serious.

He could always tell when something was wrong with his son.

“Nothing.” Gus said.

“Don’t lie to me Gus.” Brian’s voice got stern.

“It’s just that the coach said he wanted me to go to soccer camp this summer.” Gus said then added hastily.

“But I told him no. I told him all about Daddy J’s big art show in France and I wanted to be there.”

Both Brian and Justin could hear the guilt in Gus’s voice.

“When does camp start Gus?” Justin asked.

“July 2. It runs till August 2nd.” Gus answered.

“Not a problem Gus. My show runs through the end of August. There’s plenty of time for you to see it. I’m sure your mom’s won’t mind putting off your visit until you get back from camp. Your Dad will work it all out. ” Justin suggested.

Brian wished Justin was there so he could kiss him. He could have just told Gus it was fine to miss his show, he wouldn’t have minded, but he knew Gus too well. He would feel guilty about missing his Daddy J’s big show, so instead, he gave Gus a way to do both.

“Really? Dad do you think my Mom’s will be ok with that?” Suddenly, the joy was back in his boy’s voice.

“I’m sure your Mom’s and I can work it out so you can see Daddy J’s show after you get back from soccer camp.” Brian assured his son.

“COOL!” Gus yelled into the phone.

Brian squished his face up at Gus’ outburst.

“No need to break my eardrums sonny boy.” Brian said.

“Sorry Dad.” Gus apologized.

“Oh, I gotta run Dad, grandma Deb is here to take me to Zummies.” Gus said.

“What is Zummies?” Brian asked.

“Duh, Dad, it’s just like the coolest skateboard store in the world!” Gus answered.

“Oh, well excuussse me!” Brian answered.

Justin laughed. Brian could be such a child at times. No wonder his kids loved him so much.

“Gus go online tonight. I have some pictures I want to send you.” Justin said.

“Cool! Thanks Daddy J… For everything.” Gus said.

“You just have fun this summer Gussie. I want to hear all about it when you get here.” Justin replied.

“You bet! I’ll write you! Ok, gotta REALLY go now! Grandma Deb is yellin. Love you Dad, Daddy,,,bye!”

Gus hung up so quickly neither Brian nor Justin got a chance to say goodbye.

“Jesus that kid’s got more energy than those triplets I fucked at the White Party in 98.” Brian said.

Justin groaned.

“So, you going to be online tonight?” Brian crooned seductively over the phone.

“You know I will.” Justin purred seductively.

“Easy Sunshine, I just might lock that door and give you a sample of what’s to come tonight.” Brian warned.

“Hmmm….as much as I would LOVE to, um, sample you, I’m afraid I can’t. I promised Lizzy we’d go exploring the countryside this afternoon. There are so many quaint little towns along the Seine she wants to see. It’s already 2 pm here, I want to get going so we can be back before nightfall.” Justin said.

Brian’s chest tightened a bit. He subconsciously placed his hand over it and rubbed.He had an uneasy feeling all of a sudden.

“What about your show? I mean, is everything set? The grand opening is in just two weeks.” Brian asked.

“Not really, but we’ve both been working very hard. Everyone has. We can use the break. The kids are having a party at the lodge tonight and Lizzy and I are going for a nice country drive, followed by a special dinner I asked Viv’s cook, Louis, to make Roast Duck.” Justin said.

Justin had brought several students with him from his art school who were chosen to participate in the “Young Emerging Artist” exhibit the museum was also hosting that summer. They were staying at a lodge near the Museum with their chaperones who were volunteer parents that had no qualms about volunteering to go to France on his school’s dime.

“I don’t know Justin. I don’t like you driving around in a strange country. You could get lost. Besides, you told me yourself you were having difficulty finding your way around in the city, much less some back roads.” Brian tried to reason.

“I’ll be fine Brian. Don’t worry. We got a map of the area, and it’s mostly rural roads, so there’ll be less traffic. It’s actually a good opportunity for me to practice reading the signs.” Justin reassured him.

Brian was not reassured.

“Justin, stay in tonight and hire a tour guide to drive you around tomorrow.” He suggested growing increasingly worried about this excursion.

“You’re being unreasonable Brian, now stop. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you as soon as we get back, ok?” Justin said.

Brian paused and gnawed on his bottom lip. Finally he sighed in resignation.

“Fine.” He relented though for some reason he was uneasy about Justin driving around the outskirts of Loire Valley. Those back roads could be very confusing. It would be very easy to get lost.

“Take your cell.” He added.

“Yes Dad.” Justin said impishly.

“Save the “Dad” routine for tonight.” Brian said.

“Oh, goodie! I get to be the bad boy tonight.” Justin teased.

“Brat.” Brian laughed into the phone.

“Yeah and you love me.” Justin replied.

“Yes. I do.” Brian said, his voice suddenly growing very serious.

Justin swallowed hard. His heart always melted when Brian used that tone.

“Me too.” He answered.

They remained on the line for a few more minutes in silence. Each just ‘feeling’ the other.

Justin cleared his throat.

“Well I better get going.” He said suddenly reluctant to break the connection.

“Be careful.” Brian said.

“I will.”

“Later.”

“Later.”

************************************************************

 

“We should be heading back.” Justin said.

He and Lizzy had been driving for the past several hours drinking in the beauty of countryside. They stopped to explore two small, very charming villages and ended up spending an obscene amount of money on trinkets and souvenirs.

Lizzy wanted to stop at a town called, Aubigny, before heading back to the Chateau. She read that it had a very heavy Scottish influence. She wanted to buy a kilt for Jason, who was half Scottish; to give him when he came to visit her, but Justin didn’t like how quickly the skies had turned dark.

A storm was brewing and he didn’t want to get caught in it. As it was, they were on some deserted road that ran along the Seine with no sign of the town Aubigny. According to the map, they should have seen the sign for it by now.

“I think we missed the turn.” Lizzy said studying the map, biting her bottom lip in the process.

“I think you may be right.” Justin said leaning over to look at the map in Lizzy’s hand.

“There it is! It’s back about four miles.” Justin said retracing the line on the map with his eyes.

“We need to find a place to turn around.” Lizzy said looking up from the map.

“WATCH OUT!!!!” Lizzy screamed startling Justin.

Justin snapped his head around in time to see a stray cow blocking the road. He yanked hard on the steering wheel to avoid hitting it. The car swerved and tilted on two wheels as it whizzed by the cow.

Once cleared, the car slammed back down on all four wheels and skidded to a halt as Justin slammed on the breaks.

“Jesus that was close!” Justin said panting heavily.

“Are you alright?” He asked Lizzy.

Lizzy laughed nervously.

“Yeah, just a bit shaken up. Thank God we didn’t hit that cow.” She said.

Thank God we didn’t get killed trying to avoid it! Justin thought.

“Yeah, come on, let’s head back.” He said instead putting the car in gear.

They drove about another ½ mile when Justin saw a place to turn around. The skies were really black now and thunder could be heard in the distance. He turned on the car lights and followed the road back to the Chateau.

He was hoping to make it back before it started raining but it wasn’t to be. The skies opened up as buckets of rain poured down upon them.

“Shit.” Justin muttered as he turned on the windshield wipers.

He could barely see the road through the downpour. He stole a quick glance over at Lizzy to see how she was faring after their near accident.

She seemed fine.

He turned his attention back to the road. He could feel the cars’ wheels sliding a bit on the road that was now turned to mud from the heavy rains.

He slowed his speed when he heard the sickening “Pop”.

The tire blew causing the car to veer off the road, as he lost control.

Instinctively he put a hand out to protect Lizzy. He heard her screaming as he desperately tried to get control back when he felt them tip over the river bank that ran along side the road they were driving on.

“LIZZY OPEN YOUR WINDOW NOW!” He screamed at her.

Lizzy didn’t respond as the car slid down the riverbank on its side.

Justin grabbed her arm hard and shook her to get her attention.

“OPEN YOUR WINDOW!” He screamed again.

Lizzy responded and opened her window right before the car tipped over and crashed into the river.

Justin held Lizzy tight as they rolled so she wouldn’t get banged up too badly. Their bodies jerked painfully as they were thrown about inside. They landed upside down in the River.

Almost immediately the car started filing up with water.

Justin reached over and unbuckled Lizzy’s seatbelt.

“SWIM OUT AND UP LIZZY, FAST.” He shouted over the pounding sounds of the River torrents as he pushed her roughly out the passenger side window.

Lizzy’s instincts kicked in and she swam out of the car.

Justin breathed a sigh of relief as he watched her reach the surface. He then went to unbuckle his own seatbelt when he realized the door was jammed up against his side preventing him access to the buckle.

Water was filling up fast as he frantically tried to wrench the belt off of him to no avail.

When that failed, he tried twisting his body out of the confines of the belt, but the more he tried to force himself free, the tighter the belt gripped his body.

The water was now up to his neck. He looked behind him to see if he could find something to help him escape. There were the souvenirs they bought, none of which Justin thought would help him.

The car jerked and submerged so quickly, Justin barely had time to hold his breath.

As he was sinking deeper, he grew more frantic. His chest burned from his struggles, and being denied oxygen. He looked behind him again and saw a marble figurine Lizzy had purchased.

He grabbed it and smashed it against his window several times, trying to break it. His strength was waning.

“God please, don’t let me die here. Don’t do this to Brian..” He thought as he pounded away at the window, trying to break it.

Finally, when he was about to give up, the window broke. Justin grabbed a piece of sharp shattered glass and started sawing away at his seat belt.

He was in total survival mode, heedless of the fact that the splintered glass he was holding was cutting deeply into his hand as he continued to saw away.

The car was being swept down the river, banging against rocks on its way, tossing Justin’s body back and forth within as he struggled to free himself.

Just when Justin was ready to give up, when need for air was so great he knew any moment he’d open his lungs and let the deadly water in, the seat belt loosened and he was able to squirm out.

He pushed through the water, wondering why it was red, and reached the passenger side window and swam out.

Freedom was in his grasp when he realized with sickening dread, that he had no strength left to swim to the surface.

Feebly, he lifted his right hand towards the surface, his left arm refusing to move, looking for a miracle.

He could see the surface, the gateway to life, as his body sank down deeper into the murky depths of the water.

Oddly, he didn’t send up a prayer to God for help, or for forgiveness for his sins as he felt his impending death descend upon him.

No… His only thought was “Brian won’t survive this. I can’t do this to him.”

And it was that thought that prompted his brain to scream out as loud as he could for the one person he knew would never let Brian down.

“ANDY!!!!!!!!”

****************************************************************

 

It was nearly quitting time and Brian couldn’t wait to get home, grab some dinner with the kids, put them to bed, then ready himself for some very hot cam sex with his sexy blonde.

He shut down his computer and walked out of his office. His hand was still on the doorknob when a lightening bolt of pain sliced through his chest. He sank to his knees unable to stand, or breath.

“BRIAN!” Shane screamed out and ran to his side.

Ted heard the commotion from his office and came running down the hall.

When he rounded the corner he was met with the sight of Brian lying on the floor clutching his chest.

“Call 911!” He shouted.

Brian heard the commotion around him through a haze. He felt himself slipping into unconsciousness….

“God no, Justin..”

He wasn’t sure he spoke the words out loud or not as the blackness engulfed him.

********************************************************

 

Justin’s’ arm drifted down when suddenly, he felt a tight grip on his wrist. His mind rebelled at the plausibility of the sensation. Surely he was delusional, a state the mind reached right before death. He expected to see a bright light next.

Instead, he opened his eyes and saw the surface of the water within reach. He reached deep down to a place only a dying man desperate to live could find and pushed himself up, breaking the surface.

Blissful air surrounded him, filling his lungs painfully as Justin sucked it in greedily.

He allowed the raging water to sweep him away, unconcerned where it was taking him.

Life loomed before him, that was all that matter. But just as fate spared him, it cruelly cursed him again as the torrents threw his body up against some rocks.

Justin heard his bones crack, right before his head hit a hard surface and he passed out.

 

*****************************************************

 

Andy pushed himself back and sat on his haunches. He was exhausted, yet pleased.

A soft gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

He looked behind him, expecting the words he knew would come.

“You’ve stepped over the boundaries child.” Gabriel said.

Andy sighed.

“I know, and I’m willing to face the consequences.” Andy said.

Gabriel shook his head sadly.

“Child you have no idea what you’ve done, have you?” He asked.

Andy looked at him confused.

Compassion filled Gabriel’s eyes.

“You spurned God’s Will. You interfered when you should have trusted our Father. The last time you did so, when you pushed Brian back to life when he filled his body with poison after his soul mate was attacked, you were granted leniency because you were new and did not understand the seriousness of your interference. But you are no longer a fledgling soul. This time there will be consequences for your actions. Only they will not be yours to pay. The consequences of your actions will be dispensed to your loved ones.” Gabriel sadly informed Andy.

His affection for the young soul had grown over time, and it saddened him to see him suffer more than he already had. He sacrificed much, selflessly, for the sake of his family only to find his deeds would ultimately only bring more pain, not comfort to his loved ones.

Panic filled Andy’s eyes.

“NOOOO!!!” He screamed grabbing on to Gabriel.

Gabriel engulfed Andy in his all loving embraced and infused him with peace.

But Andy’s soul would not accept it. It was withering in pain and regret. Gabriel felt it seep into his own soul…. Something was not right.

Gabriel never question God’s Will, nor would he start now, but he knew he had to help Andy set this right.

He made a decision he hoped he would not come to regret himself.

What he was about to do was risky, and had only been done on the rare occasion, under certain circumstances. Gabriel deemed this to be one of those circumstances. After all, he reasoned, if he were able to do it, then surely it must be God’s Will.

He pulled back from Andy and smiled.

“Hush child, all is not lost. I know not what consequences your actions will yield, but I will give you the chance to be there to guide your loved ones through it.” Gabriel stated.

Andy’s eyes grew wide.

“Is that possible?” He asked.

Gabriel laughed and shook his head.

“Have you learned nothing child? Anything is possible. All you need is Faith.”


	5. The Awakening

Brian squinted his eyes open then quickly shut them again. He raised his hand to shield his vision from the bright lights before opening them again.

 

The first person he saw was Rena.

 

“You’re up.” She stated. Her voice was laden with stress.

“How long have I been out?” Brian asked.

 

“About four hours. They gave you a sedative to calm you. Your blood pressure spiked causing you to pass out. You’re lucky you didn’t have a heart attack.” Rena explained to her brother.

Brian groaned. “Well fuck it felt like one.” He said lifting himself up.

 

“Take it easy Brian.” Rena warned rising up to help him.

“I don’t have time to take it easy. Where’s John? I need to use his company’s Jet.” Brian asked.

 

“The jet it fueled and ready for take off.” Rena said somewhat surprised at his request.

They knew that once they told Brian that Viv called and informed them that Justin and Lizzy were missing, he’d want to get to France as soon as possible.

 

But as far as she knew, no one told him they were missing. She wondered how the fuck did he know.

 

Brian saw the confused look on his sisters’ face. How could he explain to her he knew it the moment Justin was in trouble? That he felt his pain?

 

He didn’t understand it himself, how could he explain it to her?

He avoided her stare and looked up and saw Michael standing at the foot of his bed, his eyes were red and swollen and he was biting his thumbnail.

 

He then looked to his side, having felt a hand squeezing his arm and saw his mother. Her face was impassive. She was wearing the typical stoic Kinney expression. He knew it well. When a Kinney looked that unconcerned, it was about as bad as it gets.

 

Knowing he’d get a more direct answer from his mother he turned to her and asked..

“What happened?”

 

Joan stared directly into her son’s eyes and told him what they knew with as little emotion as she could. She had to be strong for her son.

 

“Justin and Lizzy never returned from their outing. Viv has every public and private official out searching for them. All we know is they were last spotted in a town called Fourches. James is on his way there.” Joan informed her son.

Brian just nodded his head and got up out of bed.

 

“Brian, I know you have to go, but please, you’re not going to be good to anyone if you kill yourself! Just wait a bit. Everything possible is being done. I’m sure they are fine, probably just lost or stranded somewhere. I know the area well, I grew up there remember? Some areas are so rural they don’t have electricity no less phones. If they got stranded in some remote area, it will take awhile before they can get in touch with us. They probably ended up on some farmers’ door who took them in. Come morning, he’ll drive them to the nearest town. I’m sure we’ll be hearing from them very soon. There is no need for you to rush and risk spiking your blood pressure again. You need to rest.” Rena pleaded.

 

“I’ll rest on the plane. I can’t wait, Justin needs me now. He’s in trouble Re, I can feel it.” Brian said, his eyes intent on hers.

“But first I need to go home and talk to the kids.” He added.

 

“You ok Bri?” Michael finally found his voice.

Brian walked over to him and hugged him.

 

“I’ll be fine once I find them.” He said softly.

Michael pulled away and wiped his eyes.

 

“But what if…” He trailed off, unable to voice his worse fear.

“Justin is not dead Mikey. I would know if he was.” Brian stated flatly.

 

No one questioned him.

“But he is in trouble.” He said.

 

Joan got up and retrieved her son’s clothes from the closet and handed them to Brian.

“You can’t leave the hospital like that.” She said.

 

Brian looked down and noticed for the first time he was dressed in a hospital gown.

 

He took the clothes from his mother and started dressing.

“Call Fran, have her pack a bag for me. As soon as I talk to the kids, I’m leaving.” Brian said.

 

“Already done. Emmett is at the house with Fran. As soon as we heard, we made preparations for us to fly down with you.” Rena said.

Brian raised his eyebrow at his sister.

 

“Us?” He asked.

“Yes, Michael, Emmett and me.” Rena said.

 

“And before you object, don’t. It’s all been arranged. Shane and Adam are moving into my house with their children to help John with AJ. And Joan and Fran will take care of the twins and Johnny until you get back.” Rena informed him.

 

“Good. That’s one last thing I have to worry about then.” Brian said putting his shoes on.

“Brian, what will you tell the children?” Joan asked.

 

Brian sighed heavily.

“As much of the truth they can handle. I won’t lie to my kids.” Brian said.

 

Joan nodded her head in agreement.

“We called Jagger and Peter. Jagger is in Italy; he cancelled his show. He’ll be at the Chateau when you get there. Peter is flying in later tonight.” Rena informed Brian.

 

The whole conversation seemed so surreal. Brian was acting on autopilot, as if he were the director of someone else’s life. It was the only way he could get through this. He could not afford to breakdown, or freak out. Justin needed him and he needed to be calm and rational for his sake.

The doctor walked into the room and stopped short when he saw his patient dressed and ready to leave.

 

“Mr. Kinney, I can’t release you! We need to monitor your blood pressure for at least twenty-four hours.” He said.

 

Brian read the nametag on the doctors white coat.

“I don’t have twenty-four hours Doctor Panack. Now unless you have anything constructive to say, I suggest you go about helping patients who actually want and need your services. I don’t.” Brian said and pushed past the doctor.

 

“Wait!” The doctor called out, following Brian out of the room along with everyone else.

 

“At least take these pills.” He said pulling a bottle out from the pocket of his hospital jacket.

“They will control your blood pressure.” He said.

 

Brian took the pills from him and nodded his head in thanks.

 

Two hours later, Brian, Rena, Emmett and Michael were sitting aboard Remington’s Pharmaceuticals private jet heading for Loire Valley France.

Brian looked out the window and furrowed his brow in thought. The kids took the news of their sister and Daddy J being lost better than he expected. Probably because they knew Brian never lied to them, and he promised them he’d find their Daddy J and Lizzy and bring them home.

 

It was a promise he intended to keep. One way or another he would find them.

Brian started to grow angry, effectively crushing the fear that threatened to consume him.

 

If only Justin listened to him and stay the fuck at the Château! He told him that he shouldn’t be driving. But no, as always, Justin did exactly what Justin wanted to do! He was always too fucking impulsive! And it always got him in trouble.

 

“I swear to God Sunshine, one day you WILL learn to curb that impulsive nature of yours!” Brian thought angrily.

 

He laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. Sleep would evade him. The flight would take 6 hours. He mentally prepared himself for what he knew would be the longest six hours of his life.

 

*****************************************************

 

“Betsy!” Adeline called out for the hundredth time.

That stupid cow of hers was always wandering off.

 

She’d been walking for hours searching for the horrid beast.

 

“If I didn’t need her milk so much I’d have that stupid cow butchered!” She thought in frustration, but in reality, she would never do such a thing.

 

She and Jacques loved animals. Jacques was studying to be a veterinarian before they ran off and got married. He use to tend to their animals when they got sick or injured. Adeline herself learned how to care for their animals. Though she was angry at the cow for wandering off, she hoped she wasn’t injured.

“Mooooo…”

 

The wonderful sound reached her as she walked along the riverbank. She turned towards its source and spotted her cow below at the rivers edge, with her head bowed over what appeared to be a body.

 

She quickly scurried down the bank, stunned at the scene before her.

 

"Betsy, what have you found here?” She asked as she approached her cow.

 

She placed her hand on Betsy’s side for support as she knelt down to inspect the body lying on the muddied ground.

Adeline gasped at the condition of the young man. His head was packed with dried mud and blood. His leg was bent a bit at an unnatural angle, broken. His body was covered with scratches and bruises.

 

“You poor man, what have you done to yourself?” She asked the unconscious body placing her hand on his wrist to check for a pulse.

 

It was there. Amazingly strong considering the condition he was in.

Adeline stood up and looked around her. This man needed medical attention but they were miles from the nearest town. Her cabin was closer, and she did have supplies there to patch him up, but she was no doctor.

 

Adeline gnawed her bottom lip trying to decide what to do when she heard the young man groan.

 

She knelt back down and put her hand on the mans head soothingly.

 

“Shhh… You’re injured, don’t move.” Adeline said.

The man opened his eyes and grimaced as pain shot through him.

 

Adeline’s breath caught at the blueness of his eyes.

Like the agean sea….The thought popped into her head.

 

“My leg…” He croaked out.

“Broken.” Adeline said gaining her composure then reached down to inspect it.

 

“But it looks like a clean break. I think I can set it.” She said.

The man closed his eyes and groaned again.

 

She tried to gauge his expression but his face was too covered in blood and mud to make out any features.

 

Suddenly she was very curious to see what he looked like.

“Well that sounds painful.” He said opening his eyes again.

 

Adeline smiled at him.

 

“Yes, I’m afraid it is.” She said.

“But I can’t fix it here. Do you think if I help you, you can boost yourself up over Betsy’s’ back? She can carry you to the cabin.” Adeline asked.

 

The man tried to sit up.

Hot searing pain ripped through his body. Adeline held him steady as he sat up.

 

“Just sit still for a minute. Are you dizzy?” She asked.

“I don’t know. A bit. My head hurts.” He said.

 

“I bet it does. You have a nasty cut, and a bump.” She told him as she ran her hand through the mud and dried blood over his scalp.

 

An over whelming need to see his face free from all the grime consumed her.

 

The man groaned in pain.

“Here, lets wash some of that mud away from your face.” Adeline said.

 

She untied the bandana she wore around her neck and dipped it into the river to wet it. She then proceeded to clean the man’s face up.

She dipped the wet cloth several times into the water, squeezing the droplets over the mans head each time, before the mud and dried blood cleared from his head and face.

 

When she was satisfied she washed most of it away, Adeline sat back and got a good look at him for the first time.

His hair was the color of golden wheat, his lips full, his face was angelic, even the scratches and cuts could do nothing to mar his beauty…

 

There was something about him that was so familiar. Very familiar..almost too familiar.

Suddenly, another face loomed before her….

 

She knelt by him, staring; her eyes wide and distant. She was looking at him as if she was seeing a ghost.

 

The man suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

“Um, are you alright?” He asked.

 

She didn’t answer.

The man reached out and grabbed her arm.

 

Adeline jerked back.

“Jacques?’ She whispered the name.

 

“Jacques?” The man repeated, growing more confused.

Adeline shook her head.

 

“What is your name?” She asked

“My name?” He asked, his mind unable to focus in on the question.

 

What the fuck is my name! He thought frantically.

 

Name..name…name…name….Come on! I have a name damn it!.. Even the fucking cow has a name!

 

His brain grasped for the answer only to come up blank. He started to panic.

 

Adeline saw fear and alarm grow in his eyes.

 

He didn’t know his own name. The head injury must have caused his memory to fail. It didn’t matter, she knew him.

 

“Well I assume it’s not Betsy.” He said shakily, a weak attempt at humor.

 

Adeline saw right through him. He was being very brave under the circumstances. She marveled at his strength.

 

“Jacques was very brave..” The voice in her head whispered. The same voice that often spoke to her when she was confused, or lonely.

 

Adeline smiled at him.

 

“It’s ok,. I know you.” She said.

 

“He is your beloved Jacques!" The voice grew stronger this time. “He has come back to you.”

 

The man calmed a bit at her words. At least this woman knew him. He was safe.

 

His eyes searched hers for answers.

 

“Who am I?” He asked.

 

Adeline smiled at him as tears of joy ran down her face.

 

“Why my husband of course.”

 

***********************************************

 

Brian descended from the plane and rushed to meet James who was waiting on the landing strip for him.

 

“What is it?” He asked seeing the look in James’ eyes.

 

“We found Lizzy. Physically she’s fine. Just some minor cuts and bruises. Viv is with her at the hospital.” James said in a deadpan voice.

 

Rena, Michael and Emmett caught up to Brian and were standing behind him.

 

Brian breathed a sigh of relief before asking.

 

“What about Justin?” He asked.

 

Brian could see James stiffen at his words.

 

“Tell me God damn it!” Brian roared.

 

“There was a car accident. The car went off the road and down a hill into the river. Justin managed to get Lizzy out.” James said.

 

Everyone held their breath waiting for James to continue. When he didn’t Brian grabbed him by the arms and shook him.

 

“Why can’t you answer a simple fucking question damn you! What about Justin!” He screamed nearly hysterical.

 

James’ eyes misted. Emmett sucked his breath in. They’d been together for six years and never once did Emmett see James get emotional.

 

“Lizzy said she saw the car go under, but she didn’t see Justin get out. That’s all I could get out of her. She’s traumatized and they have her heavily sedated.” James said.

 

Michael let out a strangled cry. Rena gasped and threw her body against Brian’s back and wrapped her arms around his waist.

 

Brian could hear her crying out.. “no no no no no ….”

 

Brian just held on to James and stared into his eyes.

 

“The car was found about an hour ago, empty. They are dragging the river for his body as we speak.” James landed the last blow feeling like he’d just killed his best friend. In essence he did. Part of Brian would die along with his lover he knew. They breathed as one.

 

“Tell them to stop searching. Justin is not dead.” Brian said finally.

 

Emmett, who was holding on to a sobbing Michael, started crying himself. Brian was obviously in shock, unable to accept the truth.

 

Dear God not Justin! He thought. How will Brian survive? And the children. …

 

“Brian..” James tried to reason.

 

Brian let go of James’ arms and wrenched himself from Rena’s grasp.

 

He turned on them.

 

“Stop fucking acting like he’s dead God damn it!” He screamed at them.

 

“There’s work to be done. We need to find him.” Brian said then turned and headed towards the car that was waiting for them.

 

They all stared at Brian’s retreating form, then at each other.

 

“What are we going to do?” Rena turned to James for support.

 

James eye’s never left Brian’s form.

 

“We search.” He said.

 

They all piled into the car and headed towards the Chateau.

 

Brian and James talked about hiring private dicks and mapping where they should start looking first.

 

Rena, Emmett and Michael sat back quietly and listened to the insane conversation.

 

Each believing Brian had lost his mind.

 

Rena worried most. She saw that look in her brothers’ eyes. It was the same determined look he had when he first learned Andy was dying. He made a decision then to sacrificing his life, his very soul, to helping Andy and right now, he was doing the same…Sacrificing the rest of his life for one goal. Finding his soul mate.

 

Rena had no doubt he would find his soul mate again. She just didn’t believe it would be in this life.


	6. Body and Soul

**Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery. Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice. The spirit of self-sacrifice creates trust in the power of love.**

 **-Morihei Ueshiba**

 

“What will become of him?” Andy asked apprehensively as he watched the young man frantically jump into his car and speed off.

 

Gabriel placed his loving hand on Andy’s shoulder. This soul was indeed very special he thought. His concern for the young man in question was yet another reason why God took favor on him. Though he would risk his own soul to save his loved ones, he would not risk that of another. It was yet another act of altruism that gave evidence to his innate goodness.

 

“His soul will be placed under my care. Once your purpose on earth is fulfilled, it will be reunited with its’ body.” He answered.

 

“Will he remember?” Andy turned troubled eyes to Gabriel’s’.

 

“No. When he rejoins with his body, the time you’ve spent on earth will be lost to him so take care my child to make haste and not consume any more of his days then necessary.” Gabriel advised.

 

Andy nodded understanding. He looked back at the young man speeding with reckless abandonment down the freeway towards the airport.

 

“Will it be painful?” He asked, still wary of the consequences to the innocent below.

 

“No. I will remove his soul before impact.” Gabriel answered.

 

Andy breathed in a sigh of relief mixed with regret.

 

“Very well. I am ready.” He said.

 

He hated it had to be done like this, but he needed to help his brother through this ordeal. It was his fault Brian and his soul mate were torn apart. His actions caused the events that followed and somehow Andy had to right the wrong he had done, though he was clueless on how he was going accomplish that.

 

Once Andy pulled Justin from the river, he was denied all access to his earthly family. No longer could he look down upon them. He had no idea what happened to Justin. The only thing he did know was that Justin was lost, but still alive and he would do whatever it took to return him to his soul mate. Even borrow the body of an innocent to achieve that goal.

 

Gabriel sensed Andy’s troubled thoughts.

 

He turned him around to face him.

 

“I will be you my child. If you have need, call upon me, though my power to help you is limited. You must trust your instincts. They have served you well in the past.” He counseled.

 

Andy grimaced at that. His instincts were what prompted him to pull Justin from the river in the first place and that only served to cause more heartache for his brother.

 

Gabriel frowned at Andy’s doubtful thoughts.

 

“Faith, my child. Faith.” He encouraged.

 

The archangel then placed his hand over Andy’s eyes.

 

“May God bless you in your endeavor.” He said and graced Andy’s forehead with a gentle kiss.

 

Andy suddenly felt very sleepy. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt himself spiraling downward……

 

********************************

 

Jason Albright reached 110 miles per hour in his Audi Coupe as he raced towards the airport.

 

Rage clouded his mind over having to read of Lizzy’s accident on the French National News website. Her fucking family didn’t have the decency to call him! He knew he wasn’t a favorite in the Taylor-Kinney household, but Jesus Christ didn’t they think he deserved to know Lizzy was hurt?!

 

The angrier he got, the faster he drove, and it was those angry thoughts that prevented him from seeing the oil slick in the middle of the road.

 

Jason lost control of the car the minute his wheels slid over the black patch of grease.

 

He slammed on the breaks, which caused his car to spin around several times before crashing into the railing.

 

The last thought Jason had before impact was..  
“Lizzy…”

 

**********************************

 

“Whoaaa! Mister are you alright?” A gruff voice asked.  
Andy opened his eyes slowly and was surprised at the sudden pain that flashed behind his pupils.

“You’ve not used human eyes for sight in many years my child. Give it time, they will adjust”. He heard Gabriel’s voice in his head.

Andy groaned and tired again, only this time, he used his hand to shield his eyes. It took great effort to move his arm. It felt awkward and weighty.

 

“Gabriel, I can barely move. Why do I feel so sluggish?” He asked silently.

 

“Like your eyes, you’ve not inhabited human flesh for some time. Normally, souls are reborn through birth. Your soul is reentering into a full-grown body. Trust the body you are in to respond to your mind’s commands. It needs adjusting to the new soul inhabiting it.” He answered.

 

Andy centered his focus on his new body, becoming familiar with its’ ‘feel’.

 

“Can you talk? Are you injured?” The gruff voice interrupted his concentration.

 

Andy turned his head to see a big burly man wearing what looked like work overalls staring down at him.

 

“I think.” He said, his voice sounding very strange.

 

He tried to sit up.

 

“Easy there buddy! You just got thrown from your car.” The burly man said as he helped Andy sit up.

 

Andy looked over at the car in question and flinched.

 

“Probably a good thing.” He said. The car was smashed so bad it looked like a pile of metal.

 

“Yeah, I guess this is one of those rare occasions where it’s a good thing you weren’t wearing a seat belt.” The man said.

 

Andy nodded in agreement then looked around him.

 

“Airport.” He suddenly remembered.

 

“Is that where you were heading?” The man asked then shook his head disapprovingly.

 

“No reason to go speeding like that! It’s a miracle you’re alive.” He said.

 

Andy smiled. He had no idea just how much of a miracle it really was.

 

“I know, but I really have to get to the airport.” Andy said.

 

“Can you take me there?” He asked the man.

 

“Can’t leave the scene of an accident buddy. Besides, you should go to the hospital and get checked out.” The man said.

 

Andy stood up with the help of the man. Once he was on his feet, the man let go.

 

Andy fell back to the ground.

 

“Damn!” He said frustrated. His new body was harder to control then he thought.

 

“Patience my child…” Gabriel scolded lightly.

 

“See, you need to go to the hospital, now you just sit there, help is on its way.” The man said.

 

Andy sat on the ground for a few minutes trying to compose himself.

 

It wasn’t long before he heard the police car siren.

 

The car pulled up behind the wreckage and a uniformed man got out.

He walked over to where Andy was sitting on the ground and knelt beside him.

 

Andy tried to stand again. This time the officer helped him and he was able to stand on his own when the officer let go.

 

“Are you hurt?” The officer asked eyeing Andy closely.

 

“No Sir, I’m fine. I need to get to the airport though. I have a family emergency.” Andy explained.

 

“What’s your name?” The officer asked.

 

“And…um, Jason. Jason Albright.” Andy said remembering whose body he was in.

 

“Uh huh. Have you been drinking Mr. Albright?” The officer asked.

 

“No of course not!” Andy said.

 

“Hmmm…Well then would you be willing to take a breathalyzer test?” He asked.

 

“Of course.” Andy said with out hesitation.

 

The officer gave Andy a long hard look then decided it wasn’t necessary.

 

“Well Mr. Albright, I can understand you wanting to get to your family if there’s an emergency, but by the looks of your car, you were going pretty fast.” The officer said.

 

“Yes Sir, I was. I know I shouldn’t have, and that I endangered the lives of others by driving too fast. I take full responsibility, but please, Sir, there has been a terrible accident and I must get to my family.” Andy pleaded.

 

The officer sighed and turned to the burly man standing next to them. He started asking him questions and taking notes.

 

Andy was getting frustrated. He needed to get to the airport before he missed his flight.

 

“My flight!” He blurted out loud.

 

“Yes Mr. Albright, I know, we’ll try to move this along as quickly as possible Sir.” The officer answered.

 

“I need to get my ticket, it’s in the car.” Andy said, assuming it was.

 

The officer looked over at the car in question.

 

“That may prove difficult.” He said walking over to it.

 

Andy followed him.

 

The windows were busted out. Andy could see a backpack sitting on the passenger seat. He reached in to get it but the officer stopped him.

 

“Let me do that.’ He said then reached into the car.

 

The officer retrieved the bag then searched it. He pulled out the ticket in question, along with “Jason’s’” passport.

 

“France?” He looked up skeptically at Andy.

 

“Yes. My family is in France.” He said.

 

The officer raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“May I see your license Sir?” He asked.

 

Andy sighed growing more exasperated by the minute. This was taking too long. Now he wanted to see his license! He searched his pockets hoping Jason had a wallet with his license in it.

 

He smiled when his hand came in contact with the bulky leather in his back pocket. He pulled it out and handed it to the officer.

 

“I believe it’s in there.” He said.

 

The officer took it and pulled out his license. He then told Andy to wait there while he ran a check on it.

 

Several minutes later he returned and handed the wallet back to Andy.

 

“A tow truck is on its way. Once you’ve made arrangements to pay him, you can go.” He said then handed Andy a ticket.

 

“I suggest you be back in the country before your court date. I’m giving you a ticket for speeding and reckless driving.” He said.

 

“Yes Sir, I will I promise.” Andy said taking the ticket from the officer. The officer then turned and walked away.

 

“Tough break.” The burly man said once the officer was out of sight.

 

Andy smiled sadly at the man.

 

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I never thanked you.” He said.

 

“No problem. You just take care now. Slow down, life’s too short.” He said then shook Andy’s hand before he too walked away.

 

Andy watched his ‘good samaritan’ get back into his truck.

 

“You’ve no idea how short…” He thought waving to the man as he drove away.

 

Two hours later, Andy was on his way to France with nothing but the items in Jason Albrights backpack, and his body, to gain him access into his brothers’ life once again.

 

He wondered with hope if Brian would recognize him on some level……..

 

****************************************************

 

The Château….France.

 

“Peter’s French isn’t that good.” Jagger complained peevishly.

Peter shot him an exasperated look.

“I’ve been here twice to study, trust me, I have a decent grasp of the language.” Peter retorted snidely knowing Jagger was going to be difficult about this. He always was when he didn’t get his way.

Peter arrived at the Chateau later than everyone else. They were already in the process of mapping out the region for their search parties. Brian and James had broken them up into teams of two making sure at least one member spoke French so they could communicate with the locals.

Rena and Mikey made up one team, since Rena grew up in France and spoke the language fluently. James, who also spoke the language fluently was teamed off with Emmett, Brian teamed up with a P.I. James had hired who grew up around the area, and Peter was left with Jagger, because he was very adept with the language.

The plan was for each team to search North, South, East and West, from Fourches, the last town Lizzy and Justin was spotted in, and scour the surrounding areas until they found Justin.

In addition to their own little search party, outside help was employed, (since the local officials refused to waste their resources searching for a man whom they believed was dead) to conduct a region wide search which covered over 400 miles and countless numbers of towns. Pictures of Justin were currently being put up in all hospitals, post offices, local shops, and all major government agencies.

Brian made sure all bases were covered.

 

“Jagger, be reasonable. You can’t come with me. Neither of us can speak French. It’s best if we keep things as planned.” Brian said.

Out of all his children, Jagger was the most protective of him. Probably because he was also most like him and knew how quickly a situation like this could destroy him.

He understood Jaggers’ concern, but this was not a situation Brian could afford to fall apart over. Nothing could stop Brian from finding his Sunshine. Where as his family feared the worse, he didn’t. He did however have the advantage of knowing that Justin WAS alive. His family couldn’t know that. They didn’t have that connection he and Justin had. Something inside him still ticked, and he knew with absolute certainty, it only ‘ticked’ because his other half still breathed.

 

Upon their arrival, the local officials informed them that the odds of Justin making it out of the car alive that night was slim to none.

Their assessment of the situation upset his family. The evidence was convincing and they doubted Justin survived the crash. But it wasn’t important that his family doubted Justin was still alive, what mattered was that they didn’t doubt him.

It humbled him to know that their love for him and Justin was unconditional.

Jagger and Peter were backing him one hundred percent. Willing to do whatever Brian needed them to do in order to find Justin. They could be chasing a ghost for all they believed but if that was what Brian needed; they’d gladly do it for him.

Rena, he had no doubt, would follow him into the depths of hell willingly and Mikey, well, Mikey’s world revolved around him. He too would walk on fire for Brian.  
How could he fail with such love and support surrounding him?

 

“What about Lizzy?” Peter asked breaking into Brian’s thoughts.

 

Brian had signed Lizzy out of the hospital earlier and brought her back to the Chateau. She was currently upstairs, heavily sedated. Though Brian tried to assure her that her Daddy J was still alive, Lizzy could not shake the memory of seeing the car go under with Justin in it.   
“I hired a nurse to look after her while we’re gone and Viv and Tom will be here. She’ll be fine, once we bring Justin home.” Brian answered.

“Well then, it’s all settled. I suggest we get to bed. We leave at day break.” James said.

It was James who came up with the strategy for the search. He was calling most the shots.Brian deferred to his judgment in this matter considering James’s past experiences as an uncover ops agent. He had all the right connections and had commanded numerous search and recovery missions before. He, like the rest of his beloved family, was loyal to a fault. He wouldn’t even entertain the thought of failure. It wasn’t in James’s vocabulary.

Brian started to rise when the doorbell chimed. Viv and Tom had already gone to bed, it was past midnight.

“Who the hell could that be?” Jagger asked.

Brian’s pulsed raced at the possibility it was news of Justin. He rushed to answer the door.

 

Andy stood on the doorstep of the imposing Chateau, shivering and soaking wet. It was raining and he foolishly told the taxi driver to drop him off at the end of the driveway, not knowing the driveway was a good mile long.

It didn’t register that he’d been walking so long, or that he was getting drenched, until he reached the mansion. He was too busy marveling over the fact that he spoke French.

When he got into the cab, the driver asked him in French where he wanted to go, and without thought, he answered, in French. Obviously Jason spoke French.

“The soul may be absent, but the knowledge the brain has gained over the years remains intact.” Gabriel explained as he trekked up the driveway.

He nervously went to push the doorbell again when the door was swung open.

The two men stared at each other, each shocked, but for different reasons.

Brian was not expecting to find Jason Albright on the other side of the door. He’d forgotten all about Lizzy’s boyfriend.

Andy, on the other hand, was not expecting the emotions that would flood him at seeing his brother again, in the flesh, after so many years.

Emotions that choked him, as memories of them as children resurfaced with a vengence. Memories of them playing ball together. Riding their bikes, smoking their first cigarette…memories of love, devotion, pain and suffering. It was all too much for Andy to handle.

“Why didn’t you warn me Gabriel..” Andy accused.

“Because my child, it would not have made a difference..” Gabriel answered.

Andy reached out to touch his brother… His hand made contact with Brian’s forearm

“Bean…” Andy whispered the nickname he’d given Brian as a child, right before the blackness overtook him.

“Fuck!” Brian cursed and rushed forward to catch him before he fell to the ground.

He dragged Jason’s unconscious body into the house. James rushed over to help Brian place the boy on the couch. Emmett ran to get a cold rag.

Rena was standing by Brian with a puzzled look her face.

Brian saw it.

“What?’ He asked.

She looked up at her brother, clearly confused.

“He called you Bean..” She said.

Brian and Rena looked back at the boy lying on the couch.

No one but Rena called Brian, Bean. It was a name Andy gave him because he was so tall and thin as a teen. It was actually ‘string bean’, which later on got shorten to ‘Bean’.

Brian furrowed his brow.

It was odd, very odd indeed that Lizzy’s boyfriend would use that name.


	7. The Search Begins

**I am so far away  
And I don't watch the things  
That I do that put me to shame.  
I need Your light to see the right things  
That get me closer to Your grace.**

 **~ With in Reach, by Sick of Change**

 

Adeline hastily pushed the hood to her raincoat back off her head letting it fall to her shoulders as she raced up the porch steps to the old farmhouse. She had peddled her bike as fast as her legs could take her through the pouring rain, frantic to reach her destination. Droplets of water pooled around her boots, staining the wooden planked deck.

Panting laboriously, she raised her hand to knock on the door.

Doctor Gilles Vioget bristled at the interruption. He was right in the middle of writing his novel, something he promised himself he would do once he retired, when the unwelcome intrusion broke his train of thought. He grunted in frustration, wondering who could be calling at this late hour.

He lifted his old bones off of the large swivel chair and made his way to the door. His dog, Napoli, never moved from his spot in front of the fireplace.

“Lazy mutt, I could get robbed and you’d sleep through it.” He complained to the dog who had been his only companion since his wife passed away last year.

The dog in question raised his head, looked at his Master, then went back to sleep.

Gilles shook his head disapprovingly and opened the door.

“Thank God you’re here.” Adeline rasped out breathlessly.

Gilles saw the look of alarm in the young womans' eyes and reacted instinctively.

“Come in my dear, what has distressed you so? Are you injured, lost?” He asked ushering Adeline into house towards the fireplace.

Gilles gently nudged Napoli away and pulled a chair up in front of the fire to seat the woman.

Adeline welcomed his ministrations and took warmth by the fire. She turned frantic eyes to him.

“You must come help me, monsieur my husband is very ill.” She said in a panic filled voice.

“Take a deep breath, and tell me what has happened.” Gilles instructed, not understanding why this woman came searching for him, instead of going to the hospital if her husband was so ill. He’d been retired almost four years now.

Adeline took a deep breath before answering.

“Do you remember me Doctor Vioget?” she asked

Gilles studied the woman for a second. She did look familiar….

Then it hit him! This was the young woman he was summoned to help birth her child. Poor thing had just lost her husband, when she gave birth to a stillborn son. He remembered how devoid of emotion she seemed having lost her husband and her child with in the same year.

Wait, didn’t she just say her husband was ill? He thought confused.

“Yes I believe I do, I regrettably was the physician who delivered your stillborn child. But with all due respect Madame, I remember at the time I was told your husband was dead.” Gilles answered solemnly.

Adeline shook her head no viciously.

“No, no doctor he was missing and they all thought he was dead but now he has returned to me!” Adeline screeched in denial, choosing to ignore the subject of the birth of her son, which she had yet to accept.

“Please calm down and tell me what has happened.” Gilles soothed.

“I was walking along the Seine one day last week when I found Jacques body washed up on the banks. He was badly hurt, and I thought I could mend him, but I think he has developed an infection. His fever is high and I cannot get it to break. You have to help me!” Adeline grabbed onto the doctors arm violently.

Gilles put his hand over hers gently.

“But why are you here? Why not take him to the hospital?” Gilles asked.

“Oh monsieur, I cannot! He has lost his memory. If I take him to the hospital, they will admit him into psychiatric care and I cannot let that happen! He’s been through enough!” Adeline said determinedly.

Gilles gave her a pitying look, which Adeline ignored as she continued in her plea.

“I trust you. You were very kind to me when I was ill. Jacques needs to heal in familiar surroundings and not in some cold asylum if he is to regain his memory. I beg of you monsieur, help us!” Adeline beseeched.

Gilles sighed deeply. He could tell the woman was not all together stable herself.

“You must calm down mademoiselle. First things first, tell me how you tended his wounds.” He asked knowing now that this woman might have caused more damage then good to her husband. If it was indeed her husband.

“The worse of his injuries was a break to his shin bone. I set it back in place and splintered it, but I don’t think that’s why he has an infection. He had several minor cuts and bruises that I mended with no problem but one of the cuts I had to sew up and it has now turned red and has started to ooze.” She explained.

Gilles frowned and looked disapprovingly at the woman sitting before him.

Adeline saw the condemnation in his eyes and fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around his legs.

“Please, please, please you must help him! I know I should have not tried to treat him myself but I couldn’t risk losing my love again! I beg of you, for Jacques sake, please help him. I have money I can pay you.” Adeline sobbed hysterically.

“Shhh. now. I will help you. But first, we must stop by Matears medical center so I can get some medical supplies.” Gilles said.

He pulled away from her clutching form and went to call his daughter.

Corrine, his only daughter, had taken over his medical practice when he retired several years ago. Though she was only twenty-seven, barely out of med school when she took over, she managed to turn small practice that took him a lifetime to build it into a thriving full service medical facility, in a very short time. The center was located in the town of Aubigny and named “Matears”, after her mother’s maiden name.

He dialed the number to her office and as he suspected, she was there even at this late hour. Her dedication to the hospital she created knew no boundaries, nor did her loyalties to her father. She was more than eager to help him out, insisting she drive over with the supplies herself and accompany them both to help the sick young man.

He hung up the phone and turned to Adeline and explained the situation. She was a little apprehensive of bringing another doctor in to look at Jacques, but relented when Gilles told her it was his daughter.

“Thank you.” She whispered, grateful to him for coming to her husbands’ aid.

“Save your thanks, lets first see if we can help the lad.” Gilles said.

Corrine pulled up to the old farmhouse shortly after and they all piled into her car and headed to the cabin.

*************************************

 

Gilles and his daughter stood at the foot of the beautiful young man’s bed, and watched as he trashed about in sweat covered sheets, trying to fight the raging fever that consumed him.

Adeline was at the head of the bed murmuring soothing, loving words to her ‘husband’ as she ran a cool cloth over his forehead.

Corrine leaned over and whispered into her fathers’ ear, low enough so that Adeline could not hear her.

“Father, I’ve seen this man before.” She said; her delicate eyebrows furrowed in thought.

Gilles looked over at her daughter.

“Where?” He asked in an equally low voice.

Corrine wrinkled her nose up trying to ascertain where she’d seen the young man before.

Then her eyes lit up as she remembered where she’d seen him.

“His picture is posted up in the hospital. I don’t remember his name, but I know he’s been on the FBI missing person’s list for almost a week now.” She said confidently.

Gilles eyebrows rose at Corrine’s words.

“Well it's common knowledge her husband has been missing for nearly five years now, it’s possible some new evidence came about and his family has renewed the search.” Gilles voiced the thought out loud.

Corrine pursed her lips together.   
“Perhaps.” She said.

“But I'm heading back to the hospital tonight. I'll call the number on the poster for more information.” Corrine said.

Her fathered nodded his head in agreement then went to examine the lad.

Adeline’s analysis of his situation was correct. The young man had an infection from the badly sewn wound. He cleansed it and re-stitched it.

‘Jacques’ opened his fevered eyes and looked at the doctor.

“Who are you?” He asked.

Gilles smiled down at the lad. He had the most beautiful piercing blue eyes.

“I’m Doctor Vioget, you have an infection from one of your wounds. I have cleaned it and I would like to give you a shot of penicillin. Are you allergic?” He asked.

“I’m not sure.” ‘Jacques’ answered.

“Hmm…well then I’ll just give you erythromycin, it’s an alternative to penicillin, just incase you are allergic.” Gilles said.

He administered the medication then helped Adeline change the sheets.

“Get some ice water and fresh rags. We’ll keep icing him until the fever breaks.” He instructed Adeline.

Adeline went off to do his bidding. Once he was gone, Gilles turned his attention back to the lad.

“What is your name?” He asked.

“I’m not sure of that either.” The young man said with a shaky smile.

“But Adeline says it’s Jacques.” He added.

Gilles felt around his scalp and wasn’t surprised at the big lump he found.

“Ahh…well this could be the reason why.” He said teasingly as he ran his fingers over the lump.

‘Jacques’ flinched a bit but smiled at the doctors’ easy bedside manner.

“Doctor, I can’t remember anything. Not who I am, where I came from, nothing. I remember odd things like George Washington was the first president of the United States, but nothing personal about me. Adeline has been filling me in on my life, thank God, else I fear I’d go mad. It’s terrifying being ‘empty’” He confessed.

“Yes it is, but you’ve nothing to fear. You have amnesia, most likely from that bump on your head. As soon as it heals and the swelling goes down, your memories should return.” Gilles tried to reassure the lad.

Gilles could tell that though the young man was accepting the information his ‘wife’ had been feeding him, desperate to fill the void, he was still skeptical, which probably was a good thing.

He looked over at his daughter with apprehensive eyes; she understood his concern.

With the type of amnesia this young man was experiencing, it was best to let the brain heal itself, allowing the memories to resurface on their own. The worse thing a person could do was to fill in the blanks. In this vulnerable state, the brain would take any information fed to it and adopt it as ‘real’ memory. It would be much harder, and longer, for the brain to replace the planted memories, with the true ones stored.

Advertently or inadvertently Adeline has done this man, husband or not, more harm than good.

Adeline returned with the ice water and rags and handed them to Gilles.

“Corrine, I’ll stay the night with our patient, if that’s acceptable with you Adeline?” Gilles turned to Adeline and took the bowl of ice water from her.

Adeline breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes, of course, thank you.” She said, grateful to have the doctor on hand.

Gilles smiled and turned his eyes back to his daughter.

“You go back to the hospital and take care of that matter.” He said, searching her eyes with his conveying his meaning.

Corrine nodded her head understanding.

“Very well. I’m sure your husband will be much better come morning.” She said then left her farther to care for the young man.

Corrine rushed back to hospital and tore the poster down from the nurse’s station wall. She took one look at the smiling face on the poster and knew it was the same man she just left in the cabin.

Justin Taylor.

She sat behind the desk at the nurses’ station and dialed the number listed to call.

On the very first ring, a man answered.

“Hello, this is Doctor Corrine Vioget. I believe I just treated the man you’ve been looking for.”

 

**********************************************

Andy stood in the doorway of the tavern and shook his head vigorously, causing water to spray everywhere from his rain soaked hair. His eyes searched the dank, dark room for his brother, knowing he’d be here. Gabriel would not lead him astray.

He spotted him at the end of the bar, hovering over a glass of whiskey. A tall dark man stood next to him, eyeing him lewdly. From Andy’s vantage point, he could see that Brian was oblivious to the attention he was receiving; he was too immersed in his pain.

It had been six days, with no real leads to Justins' whereabouts. Each day was becoming increasing difficult on Brian. Andy was at a loss at how to help him.

As it was, it was nothing short of a miracle that Brian had allowed him, instead of the P.I. he originally planned to team up with, to partner with him on the search

Actually, the miracle came in the form of Lizzy’s intervention.  
Lizzy...   
Now there was an unexpected development Andy hadn’t anticipated.

When he had woke from his faint at the Chateau he realized how badly he blundered. His sister was looking at him oddly, and Brian was glaring at him as if he’d just spit on his new shoes.

It was Lizzy who saved him. She had descended the stairs like an Angel to his rescue having heard the commotion. She threw herself into Andy’s arms and cried into his neck, taking the attention away from his odd behavior.

Andy was relieved and grateful for the distraction. Though the distraction quickly turned into a distraction of another kind.

Her body was warm and yielding. She smelled of exotic flowers, the kind he remembered his mother liked.

Andy’s ‘human’ senses came to life as ‘Jasons’ body responded to Lizzy’s nearness. Andy became aroused.

“Gabriel, why am I reacting this way?” He asked.

 _“The body, as is so often said, has a mind, and memory of its own. It is responding to its mate.”_ Gabriel responded.

Andy was not reassured; he was distressed over Gabriel’s explanation.

“What should I do?” Andy asked.

 _“That my child is your decision to make.”_ Gabriel had answered.

So Andy did what he believed ‘Jason’ would do and hug her back, tightly.

Lizzy then led him away from the small group gathered, and thankfully away from the prying eyes of his brother and sister, and took him to her bedroom where she proceeded to kiss him in a way Andy never experienced.

Andy died at the tender age of seventeen, and though he’d had girlfriends, even kissed a few, his first sexual experience was with a man his father had sold him to. He never had a woman kiss him before, and Lizzy was just that. All woman. ‘Jasons’ body may be twenty-four years of age but Andy’s soul was just seventeen.

Though even with his inexperience, Andy could sense Lizzy’s kiss was filled with pain. It was an attempt to bury herself in her ‘love’ to ease her sorrow.

Andy was lost to the vulnerability in it and gave himself over to her. When she broke away, her eyes were misted with tears, and, not surprisingly, a bit of confusion.

Andy smiled weakly and commenced in questioning her on all that has happened.

Lizzy’s mind was adverted from the ‘wrongness’ he knew she must have felt in his kiss and proceeded to tell him all about James and Brian’s plan to find Justin. Andy told her he wanted to help with the search, which seemed to please her.

Together, they convinced Brian to team up with him, since he, or more accurately, ‘Jason’, spoke French fluently, instead of the P.I. He fought the idea at first, (Andy got the impression his brother was not too fond of his daughters’ boyfriend), but relented when James suggested it might be a good idea since it would free up the P.I. to search on his own, giving them yet another person to search, increasing their odds of finding Justin sooner.

Brian couldn’t argue with that so he reluctantly agreed to have ‘Jason’ be part of his team.

The search so far had been futile, and his brother was growing increasing cantankerous.  
Brian would not allow Andy to console him in any way; in fact, he’d been avoiding him as much as possible. Andy was sure it was because he felt uncomfortable each time he looked into his eyes.

There was a connection there, and he knew his brother felt it, but did not understand it, nor could he deal with it under the circumstances. His first and foremost thoughts were always on finding his soul mate. Andy understood this, even as it hurt him that Brian would not allow himself to ‘see’ Andy.

 _“Do not confuse your needs, and wants with your brothers my child.”_ Gabriel counseled.

Andy grew red with shame at Gabriel’s warning. This was not about him. He would leave this body soon enough, and most likely without his brother ever knowing he was ever here. It was a small price to pay in exchange for the chance to help his brother in whatever way he could, during this tumultuous time in his life.

It didn’t matter that his brother would never know it was him, and not Jason who stood by him every night while he drank himself into oblivion, after another disappointing, heartbreaking day, then bring him back to the hotel and undressed him tucked him into bed.

Or that it was Andy who made sure he ate something each day, something Brian would never remember to do during the long arduous hours of searching for his partner.

Or that it was Andy who forced Brian to take his blood pressure medication in the mornings, and not at night because at night, well, the nights were too much for his brother to bear without large amounts of alcohol and Andy knew pills and booze did not mix.

Or that it was Andy who stood and bore the onslaught of vicious anger Brian would heap on him each time they hit a dead end, or receive a false lead, crushing Brian’s hopes. At those times, his brother would turn his frustration and anger on him, cursing and condemning him for imagined faults, and blame.

No, it didn’t matter that it was him, and not Jason who was there for him because Andy was grateful just to be near his brother, and be able to provided these small comforts to him, the only comfort Brian would allow.

Andy had hoped beyond hope he could offer his brother more, and tonight, he was given the opportunity to do just that.

James had called the hotel room to inform them that a doctor called from the very town there were currently in, stating she had just treated Justin.

His heart raced with the news and he rushed down to hotel lounge to tell Brian, only to find he wasn’t there. He cursed himself because it was the first time he had left Brian alone. He had left Brian at the bar in the hotel lobby to go change his shirt because Brian had spilled whiskey all over him.

Ten minutes. Ten damn minutes! That’s all he was gone. Yet in those ten minutes two things happened. First, James called with the lead. He was on his way to Aubigny but was too far away and wouldn’t get there for at least an hour. The doctor who called was on her way to the hotel to meet with Brian. James tried to call Brian on his cell but it went straight to voice mail. Andy wasn’t surprised. It was probably broken. Brian had thrown it at Andy earlier that night. It had been a particularly distressing day. So James had called the hotel room, and just happened to catch Andy there. Andy couldn’t believe their luck!

Then the second thing happened in those ten life-altering minutes to turn that good luck into bad.

Brian had left the hotel bar! Andy had never felt so frustrated in his life!

It was the first time he had asked Gabriel for direct help.

“Gabriel, please, tell me where he is.” He pleaded.

 _“You know I cannot. You must find a way to help your brother on your own, without my direct intervention. I can advise you, I cannot lead you.”_ Gabriel said.

Andy silently cursed, which of course did not go unheard.

“Fine, then advise me where I can go to get so drunk in this town that if I’m lucky, when I pass out on the floor, the other patrons will just step over my body, and not kick it.” Andy asked.

Gabriel laughed at Andy’s shrewdness and suggested a tavern two blocks down from the hotel.

And that’s exactly where Andy found Brian.

 

Andy rushed to Brian’s’ side and grabbed his arm to get his attention.

“Hey, back off peasant! I saw him first.” The tall dark, creepy looking man standing next to his brother growled in French.

Andy recoiled at the sight of him. He looked too much like one of the vile men his father use to sell him too.

Brian barely heard the exchange in his inebriated state. He turned his drunken gaze on Jason and froze at fear and loathing he saw in his eyes.  
Those eyes….

What the fuck was the matter with him? Every time he let his guard down and look into Jason’s eyes something inside of him reacted. He couldn’t explain it, but this urge to protect; to care for at all cost, erupted in him each time he looked into Jason’s eyes. It didn’t make any sense! He barely tolerated the boy! Yet right now, he wanted to kill the man who put that look into Jason’s eyes.

He got up from the barstool, unsteadily, and faced the man who caused that look in Jason’s eyes.

“What the fuck did you say to him frog?” Brian asked menacingly.

The man looked at him confused, not understanding English, but understanding the body language all too well.

He sneered and spat something out in French that Brian knew was not complimentary.

He turned to Jason, temporarily ignoring the man.

“What the fuck did he say?” He demanded.

“Brian, it doesn’t matter, I have…”

“TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK DID HE SAY!” Brian demanded as incomprehensible rage consumed him at the notion that Jason was being threatened somehow.

Andy stepped back, astonished at the intensity of Brian’s anger.

 

“He’s protecting me.” He thought. “Not Jason.”  
His heart soared.

 _“Focus child.”_ Gabriel urged.

Andy shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Brian..” He began again.

“TELL ME!” Brian roared.

Andy grimaced, realizing that Brian wasn’t going to listen to anything he had to say until he told him what that French man said. So he did just that.

“First, he told me to back off, he said he saw you first, then he told you that he was not surprised a filthy American would choose trash over quality.” Andy translated.

Brian’s mouth dropped over.

“Well, translate this for our fine frog friend. Tell him that I’d rather have my tongue permanently glued to a lesbians twat before I’d even CONSIDER fucking a piece of shit like him!”

Andy had to hold his laugh in at Brian’s outburst. He didn’t dare tell the French man what Brian just said. They had no time for a bar room brawl so instead he lied and told the man that Brian had just gotten news that a relative died today and to please excuse his behavior.

The man looked immediately contrite and backed away giving his condolences.

Brian looked smug.

“Yeah, that’s right. Go crawl back into your hole you prick.” He yelled after the man.

“Brian, James called.” Andy said.

Brian snapped his head around so fast he got dizzy.

“Justin?” He said, barely concealed hope lingered in his voice.

Andy smiled and placed his hands on Brian's shoulders.

“Yes. A doctor called just a little while ago. She claims to have treated Justin tonight, and she is on her way to the hotel to meet you.” Andy said.

Something inside of Brian broke as tears streamed down his face.

He pushed past Andy and ran out of the tavern, towards the hotel. Andy ran after him.

“Please, God, please, let this not be another dead end lead.” Andy prayed.

Gabriel looked down on Andy and his brother as they ran into the hotel lobby looking for the lady doctor who held hope out in her hands.

 _“Be careful what you ask for.”_ Gabriel said.

Andy stopped in his track at hearing Gabriel words.

Something chilling told him that their search was just beginning.


	8. Full Disclosure

**"You know what to say, you know what I said You know what I dream sleeping in my bed You hold all the keys, you know all the roads Why don't you guide me in, if I'm such a lost soul? I'm spinnin' 'round, I will make you ill Since I'm so broken down, why don't you fix me?" ~ Revelations by Audio Slave**

 

Doctor Corrine Vioget believed herself to be the epitome of patience and sagacity, which she credited to having dealt with just about every personality type conceivable in her profession.

Mr. Brian Kinney however, was currently challenging that belief. There was no textbook solution to dealing with the man, and on a personal level, he irritated the hell out of her. Her renowned composed stature and exemplary record for great empathy and patience was torn to shreds within the first fifteen minutes of meeting him.

The first impression she got of Mr. Kinney when he raced into the hotel lobby was, ‘this man is tormented and frantic to find his loved one.'

The second impression she got was, ‘this guy’s an asshole.’ Corrine silently chided herself for her peevish thoughts. She tried to remain compassionate of his plight but he was making it extremely difficult. His arrogance and condescending manner in which he spoke to her were making the hairs on the back of her neck bristle.

She took a deep breath and tried to explain the situation to him once again, this time she could not conceal the condescension in her voice.

“Mr. Kinney.” She drawled derisively, pulling her slight form up stiffly in the Queen Anne chair she was sitting in. “I insist that first, you stop making demands and threats. It’s gratuitously puerile and disobliging to yours and your partners’ cause. As I explained, my loyalty lay first with my patient. Justin Taylor is my patient, and I will do what’s best for him, not you.” She reproached in her most haughty manner.

Brian looked affronted and actually snarled at the woman.

“Well ‘Doc’.” Brian spit out the name as if it were an insult. “Lets put aside the PhD’s shall we? What you don’t seem to understand, what they didn’t teach you in that fancy medical school you went to, is that NO one knows my partner of ten years better than me. I know his entire medical history. I know every detail of every fiber of his being, and I know what’s best for him, not YOU. Now I understand that ‘God’ complex you doctors have can cloud your judgment into believing you actually know what’s best for everyone, but in this case, I won’t let your ego get in the way of me finding and taking my partner home to heal with his family. If Justin is indeed in the condition you say he is in, then I will exercise my health proxy rights. Now you’ve exactly five minutes to tell me where the fuck he is before I contact the police and have you arrested for aiding and abetting a kidnapper.” Brian announced in no uncertain terms.

Andy sat by the two in the lobby, grateful for the late hour. Besides the hotel clerk, the lobby was void of any guests to witness the ugly exchange going on between his brother and the doctor. Brian was being extremely difficult. He wasn’t thinking clearly.

When they first met the doctor, and established that it was indeed Justin whom she had treated earlier that evening for a minor bacterial infection, Brian stopped listening. All he wanted to hear was Justin’s whereabouts. Period. He didn’t want to hear anything else. The doctor was trying to explain to him that it could be very harmful to Justin if Brian just showed up and took him away from the one place he currently felt connected with. It could create a mental tear in the fabric of his memory, causing him to regress, and possibly have a psychotic episode.

Apparently Justin was suffering from what appeared to be a severe case of anterograde amnesia; a form of amnesia usually caused by traumatic injury, which left the patient devoid of all memory of his life prior to the incident. She then explained that patients who suffer from this form of amnesia are very susceptible to false memory adoption, which is what she feared was already happening.

According to the doctor, a woman named Adeline DuPont found Justin on the river bank. He was barely conscious and had some minor cuts and a broken shin bone. She took him to her home, mistaking him for her long lost husband and has been caring for him since. Unfortunately part of that care included filling in his memory blanks with that of her husbands’. Something the doctor claimed was doing more harm to Justin then good. Andy knew his brother well enough to know that he was only hearing bits and pieces of what the doctor was telling him.

If he had to guess he’d say Brian heard three things.

One, Justin was found and being cared for.

Two, the person caring for him was hurting him.

Three, the doctor was not going to let Brian save Justin from this woman.

He was not listening, and most certainly not accepting what the doctor was proposing. In her medical opinion, Justin needed time to reject the information he’s already been fed erroneously on his own, before his brain could heal and start retrieving its ‘authentic’ memories. She felt it would be detrimental to Justin’s’ recovery if Brian dragged him away in the middle of the night and revealed his true identity to him.

In her medical opinion, she warned such an action would place Justin in jeopardy both physically, and mentally.

Brian disagreed strongly with her assessment of the situation. In his mind, he could never hurt Justin. It wasn’t conceivable.

Andy knew Brian felt all he had to do was show up, and Justin would just miraculously get his memory back, or at the very least recognize Brian on some level and want to go home with him to heal.

Andy and the doctor however, were not as convinced of that scenario happening as much as Brian was; but for different reasons. The Doctor was thinking on medical terms. Prognostically an occurrence like that wasn’t likely.

Andy was thinking on a spiritual level. If indeed that was the case, then Andy would not still be in Jason’s body. His job would be done. Brian would have Justin back the moment they laid eyes on each other.

But something inside him was telling him it wasn’t to be. And when Brian did finally see Justin, and Justin didn’t automatically ‘recognize’ him, Brian would be crushed. Andy believed it was why he remained earth bound. Brian’s troubles were far from over.

Still Brian had a point…. Justin’s soul at the very least should recognize its mate, shouldn’t it? On that level at least Justin would ‘feel’ safe with Brian and believe him over the woman he was currently with. He would instinctively want to go with the person he felt more connected to. Brain knew this, Andy knew it. Memory or not, Justin’s soul should recognize Brian’s. Then Brian could take him home and together they could work on getting Justin’s memory back, or start creating new ones.

In either case, they would be reunited. Andy’s purpose for being on earth should be complete. So why was he still here?

Something was wrong, and for now, Andy’s instincts were telling him to support the doctor. He cringed inwardly knowing the reaction he was going to get from Brian once he sided with the doctor. Brian would look on it as a betrayal.

Gabriel’s voice rang in his head.

“Since you’re being obtuse, I’ve nothing further to say. Call the police. I’ll call my lawyer. In the meantime, good luck finding your partner on your own.” Corrine countered, clearly angered and in combative mode.

Brian’s nostril’s flared. He was seriously thinking of throttling this woman to get her to tell him where Justin was.

“Brian, listen to her, she makes sense. I know you think…”

Brian turned angry hurt eyes on Andy, cutting off his words.

Andy took a fortifying breath and continued.

“You need to calm down Brian! You're just making matters worse!” He said more definitely.

“You are not thinking clearly. All she is suggesting is that you wait until morning before you go to him. She’s not stopping you from seeing Justin, she is just suggesting you let him rest tonight and visit him in the morning. Then she’ll take you to him under the guise of being an associate of hers to see if he recognizes you FIRST before you whisk him away to another strange place! It's best if he makes the decision to go with you on his own!”

Andy was determined to make Brian see reason.

“You're being unreasonable. You’re not thinking in Justin’s best interest.” Andy bravely stated.

Brian reacted to Andy’s words like a slap in the face. He stood up and raged.

“Fuck you both! Jason, go the fuck home NOW! And YOU…” He turned to the doctor.

“I swear on the heads of my children you’ll pay if any harm comes to Sunshine because you kept me from him!” He yelled hysterically.

Corrine looked at him with wide, concerned eyes. ‘Sunshine?’ He was obviously overwrought, and not capable of rational thought. Corrine welcomed the police’s help at this point. She rose from her chair.

“I’m contacting the police.” She said then turned and walked over to where the hotel clerk was pretending not to notice the commotion they were causing.

Frustrated, Andy turned to Brian and forcibly grabbed him by his arm and dragged him into a nearby alcove.

Desperate times called for desperate measures he decided.

Brian allowed Jason to pull him away, momentarily stunned by his actions. Andy shoved Brian against the wall once they were out of sight and brought his face close to his brothers and forced him to look into his eyes. Brian glared at Jason, furious, yet curious as to what was happening. Something inside of him came alert. His senses’ were sending out distress signals telling him he was about to discover something he was not prepared for. Something he’s been keeping at bay because his mind could not accept it.

Andy held his gaze and willed Brian to see “him”, throwing all caution to the wind. Brian needed to know who he was if he was going to be able to help him at all. He needed to know that it was his actions that put Brian and Justin in this position to begin with, and the only way he was going to be able to get through it was with his help. Brian tried to twist out of ‘Jason’s’ grasp, but Andy wouldn’t let him. He held his ground and demonstrated his authority in his stance, and speech. Though Brian was now a grown man, and Andy was still just seventeen spiritually, he was still the older brother, and he was about to remind Brian of that fact.

“You need to stop it, now and listen to me! I can’t help you if you keep shutting me out!”Andy shouted at Brian.

Brian pulled his eyes away from Andy’s intense stare.

“Bean, look at me!” Andy demanded and shook

Brian snapped his eyes back to his.

“I know you feel me, don’t let your mind deny what your heart is telling you.” Andy pleaded with his eyes for Brian to recognize him.

Brian held his breath as if he was caught in some alternative reality. He shook his head, trying to clear the spell he was obviously under.

“No...you’re talking crazy! What the fuck did Lizzy tell you about my brother?!” Brian demanded.

Andy snorted.

“Well she didn’t tell me about the night we cut our palms, and pressed the wounds together, forever swearing our loyalty to each other as blood brothers. And she didn’t tell me about that spring I got ill and you got kicked off the soccer team. Or how your father beat you so bad when he found out that you had to wear long sleeve shirts the whole month of August to hide the marks. Nor did she tell me that the reason you got kicked off the team was because you missed too many practices because you were too tired, or bruised, from tricking all night to get drugs to help ease my pain.” Andy spat out recklessly.

He searched Brian’s eyes for some sign of acknowledgment of the truth he was telling him only to find pain and doubt in his gaze. He took a deep calming breath and said the words he knew Brian could not question, or deny.

“And she sure in the hell didn’t tell me how you kissed me on the mouth the night you released me from that unholy pain, telling me you loved me..” Andy paused then added….”more than a brother.” He breathed solemnly.

Brian sucked in his breath, shocked at ‘Jason’s’ words. NO ONE knew what happened that night but he and Andy! He never spoke of it anyone, not to his sister, not even to Justin.

The night Brian gave Andy the overdose of morphine, thereby ending his suffering and his life, would forever be etched into his brain. He was just fourteen at the time. He had come home with the drugs he got from a night of tricking to help ease Andy’s pain only to find out that the pain had gotten so bad, the drugs stopped helping. His brother had given up and was going to kill himself. Brian couldn’t let that happen so he administered the lethal dose of morphine himself so his brother would be saved from the sin of suicide.

Brian wasn’t a religious man, but Andy’s faith remained astonishingly strong all through his fathers’ abuse, and his losing battle with AIDS; a gift one of his fathers’ friends gave him. Brian loved Andy fiercely and he confessed his love that fateful night with a simple brush of his lips against Andy’s before he did the unthinkable. Andy accepted his kiss, even yielded to it, telling him that he welcomed his love, unconditionally and without judgement. But Andy knew something that Brian did didn’t know at the time. He knew he wasn’t the one for him. Andy was Brian’s first love, but not his true love. Andy told Brian that someday, his soul mate would come, and when that day came, he’d know a love like none other. And then he made Brian promise to never regret the gift he was giving Andy that night…

No regrets, no apologies…

That night so long ago, almost a lifetime ago, was shared by only two people. He and his brother. None other was privy to the information ‘Jason’ was now giving him. Only Andy knew of the events of that evening… They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Brian looked into those eyes and through that window and saw what his mind, what logic, defied.

…Andy’s soul.

The realazation of what Brian saw, what he felt, caused him to start hyperventilating. His heart could no longer deny it. It WAS Andy!

Andy grabbed Brian’s face in his hands.

“Easy, deep breaths.” He cautioned holding on to Brian as he gasped for air.

“Is it so hard to believe?” Andy said smiling, attempting to take some of the shock out of his announcement.

Brian held his gaze, his mind grappling with the plausibility of what he was hearing.

“How?” He asked, still not fully convinced.

“How does anything happen, Bean? Love, faith. And it doesn’t hurt to have an Angel helping you out.” Andy said tongue in cheek.

Brian reached out his fingers, and tentatively brushed them against Andy’s face, his eyes never leaving his. Jason seemed to disappear before him, only to be replaced by his long lost, and much loved brother.

“Andy?” He croaked, his voice nearly strangled from emotion.

“Yeah Bean, it’s me. I’m here, in the flesh, ok, someone elses flesh.” Andy quipped.

“Though I’ve always been here with you in spirit. I never left. All these years I’ve been watching you and Rena, lending support when I was allowed, and at times when I wasn’t..” Andy said with soulful humor, heedless of the tears streaming down his face.

Brian let out a gutteral, pained sound and crushed Andy to him. The two brothers held on to each other fiercely. Each afraid to let go for fear the other would disappear if they did. So many years, so much pain, love and longing all coming together in this one moment. His beloved brother who died the most horrible death 25 years ago, through some miracle, was here. Standing right in front of him.

Shock was a word too mild to put to what he was feeling.

“Bean, listen, I’m here to help you find Justin but I don’t have much time. I’ve got Jasons’ body on loan, so to speak. For every minute I occupy his body, he loses a minute of his life. The sooner we find Justin, the sooner I can return his body to him.” Andy said reluctantly pulling away from Brian.

Brian looked at him through eyes pooled with tears.

“You can’t leave me again.” He said, his voice broken. Andy’s heart clenched.

 _“Did you think this would be easy?”_ Gabriels voice rang in his head.

“I have to Bean. I’m only here because it’s my fault Justin is missing.” Andy said.

“Your fault, how?” Brian asked, trying to compose himself.

“Justin was drowning in that river, or so I thought. I broke through our worlds and pulled him out. I knew there would be consequences, but what I didn’t know was that those consequences would be dealt to you and Justin.” Andy tried to explain.

Brian shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

“Wait a minute. What the fuck are you saying? You SAVED Justin’s life! Why should anyone be punished?” Brian asked.

Andy sighed.

“Because I did not have faith in God’s will.” The words barely left his mouth when it dawned on him.

For the first time, Andy understood that his actions since his death have been disloyal to God. His insistence that he not go to heaven so that he could be there to help his family, was a statement of distrust in the Lord. Suddenly, he felt ashamed.

 _“Some lesson’s must be learned through trial my child. Our Father is all loving, and does not judge you. Do not judge yourself. You’ve work yet to be done. With the knowledge you’ve just gained, you can now better aide your brother.”_ Gabriel said

“I still don’t understand.” Brian said breaking into Andy’s thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter, you will when your time comes. Right now we must right the wrong I’ve done, and to do that, you MUST trust me!” Andy pleaded.

“Of course I trust you!” Brian said affronted.

“But if you are going to tell me I have to let Justin go, I can’t. That’s not possible Andy. Don’t ask me to.” Brian said.

Andy made a face.

“Still stubborn as a mule I see.” He said sighing.

“No, of course I’m not asking you to give up your soulmate! By the way, that’s impossible. Your soulmate is bound to you throughout eternity. Just because you may not be together in this life, doesn’t mean you won’t be together in the hereafter, or in another lifetime.” Andy informed Brian.

“Well THIS is the only life I’m concerned with. And in THIS life, I WILL not give Justin up.” Brian said combatively.

Andy threw his hands up. Ten minutes of being reunited, and already the brothers were figthing. Yeah, not even death could change that, Andy thought with a smile.

“Stubborn ass, listen to me and stop being so arrogant! I’m not saying let Justin go; I’m saying hold off on running to him for one night! I’m telling you, you are only going to make it worse if you drag him away in the middle of the night while he’s sick, and confused. He needs time.” Andy said.

Brian snorted. Andy glared at him.

“You listen to me Bean, I am STILL your older brother, and I’ve never lied to you. Trust me on this. BACK OFF! For tonight anyway.” Andy said.

Brian was about to respond when a loud commotion in the lobby caught their attention.

“Don’t tell me to lower my voice! Tell me where my father is!”

Brian cringed as he heard his sons' angry voice. He was probably brow beating the hotel clerk.

Jagger and Peter had been closest to the hotel Brian and Jason were staying at when they had gotten the call from James with the news. They were the first to arrive on the scene, and apparently, causing a scene of their own. At least Jagger was. Of the two, Peter was the calm rational one, Jagger was quick tempered and reckless.

“Shit, when will that boy learn to curb his temper!” Brian said.

Andy looked at him incredulous.

“This coming from you?” The King of ‘queen outs’?” Andy snickered.

Brian made a face at him. “I do NOT queen out!” Brian said.

“You forget, I’ve been watching you and Re for the past 25 years. You queen out.” Andy replied challenging his brother to deny the accusation.

Brian snorted.

“Well if we don’t diffuse Jagger now, you’ll see what a real queen out looks like. For a straight guy, he can be more over the top then Emmett on his worse days.” Brian remarked.

“I shudder to think how he’ll react when you tell him that your long lost dead brother has invaded your daughters boyfriends body.” Andy joked.

Brian however, did not appreciate Andy’s humor.

“Jesus Andy, we can’t let anyone know about this!” Brian sputtered.

“Calm down I was kidding. Of course we can’t tell anyone. Who would believe us anyway!? Just don’t call me Andy in front of them.” Andy cautioned.

“Dad!!!” Jagger yelled out as he rouned the corner.

He stopped short when he all but ran into Brian.

“Jesus fucking Christ you scared the shit out of me!” He said pulling Brian into his arms.

“James called us. He said you may have found DJ. Is it true?” Jagger asked his own voice hoarse with restrained emotion.

Brian pulled back from his sons’robust embrace and smiled.

“It appears so, a doctor called and claims to have treated him tonight.” Brian said then furrowed his brows.

”Fuck, she’s calling the cops!” He remembered and rushed to find her.

Corrine was standing at the waterfall in the main lobby. She closed her cell and turned around to face Brian.

“Dr. Vioget, please tell me you didn’t call the police.” Brian inquired in a more conciliatory tone.

Corrine contemplated lying to him after all he put her through but didn’t have the heart. No matter how rude he was, she was sympathetic to his cause.

“Actually, I called my fathers cell to see how Justin is doing. He says the fever broke, and he’s sleeping soundly. I told him the situation. He agrees that at all costs, we should not disturb Mr. Taylor tonight. So if you want to call the police, go ahead. A night in jail is preferable to a night listening to your insufferable, insane, ramblings.” She stated flattly.

She may be sympathetic, but she was still perturbed over his earlier tirade.

Jagger, who was standing behind his father, held back a smile at the lady doctors’ words. She had guts standing up to his Dad like that. Brian was a formidable figure on a good day. In a situation like this, he was downright scary! Yet she bravely faced the demon and spat back at him.

Jaggers’ estimation of the woman just rose a notch. It didn’t hurt that she was fucking hot as hell either.

Jagger leaned against the lobby desk and pretty much leered at her.

Corrine caught the look and put her hand to her throat. His gaze was so intense, it literally stole her breath. She quickly composed herself, horrified that her moment of unease was witnessed by the young man with the sharp, passionate hazel eyes.

“Don’t tell me, your son?” She asked motioning to where Jagger was standing, or more acurately, leaning seductively.

Brian looked back over his shoulder and cursed.

“Keep it in your pants Jag for God sakes! Let’s focus on DJ, ok?” Brian admonished.

Jagger shrugged.

“You heard her. DJ is fine, and sleeping. Thank God. It’s been a rough week, I say it’s time to celebrate.” He said to his father, but kept his gaze on Corrine.

Corrine let her guard down and smiled at the young man. He had a playful swagger about him that was irresistible. He pulled at the ‘imp’ inside of her.

“Well at least this Kinney isn’t vexing…She paused then added; “much.” Gracing him with a lascivious smile. Peter groaned.

Jagger never let an opportunity go by, no matter what the circumstances.

“Where’s Daddy J, Dad? Are we going to get him tonight?” Peter asked ignoring his brothers and the doctor’s little seduction play.

“No.” Brian conceded and sent Andy a look that said he was not happy, but he would wait, for now.

Corrine turned her attention back to Brian.

“I’m very glad to hear that Mr. Kinney. As I promised, I’ll take you up to the cabin in the morning.” She said.

“Justin’s in a cabin?” Brian asked. It was the most information she’d given him on Justin’s whereabouts.

“Yes. About twenty minutes from here. I’ll be heading home now, shall we meet back here, say around nine am?” Corrine suggested.

“That’s not a good idea Brian.” James voice came from behind the small group gathered.

“And who is he?” Corrine asked, beyond frustrated at the treatment she was getting from this family.

Seemed everyone was intent on being discourteous to her.

“James don’t be rude!” Emmett said as he caught up to his partner.

He pushed James aside to greet the woman. He stopped short when he came face to face with her and in typical over-dramatic “Emmett” style, put his hands to his cheeks and gasped exuberantly.

“Good God no one should have hair that gorgeous! Why honey I’d kill for hair that vibrant!” Emmett exclaimed.

“I’d kill just to feel that hair beneath me.” Jagger thought.

“Um, thank you.” She said unable to come up with a more appropriate response, if there was such a thing.

The tall man gawking at her was good looking, outlandishly dressed, and demonstrative which he demonstrated by pulling her into a quick hug, and giving her an ‘air’ kiss before releasing her. Corrine was taken aback by his grandiose manner.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners! Please allow me to make the introductions. I’m Emmett Honeycutt and this ill mannered, but exceedingly handsome thug is my partner James.” Emmett said placing his hand on Jame’s forearm.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Honeycutt. I’m Dr. Corrine Vioget. Currently Justin Taylor’s physician.” She returned.

“Oh no! James you said Justin was fine! Why does he need a doctor?! His he hurt?!” Emmett squealed frightfully.

“He’s been in an accident, but he’s healing. My father, who is also a doctor, is currently with him and will be spending the night with him. I was just telling Mr. Kinney that tomorrow morning I’ll be more than happy to take him to see his partner.” Corrine explained.

“Oh my poor baby! Thank God he has such caring people looking after him.” Emmett commented.

“Caring or not, I don’t think it’s a good idea to let her go knowing she is the only one who knows where Justin is.” James advised.

Corrine huffed and poked her finger into James chest, taking him by surprise.

“I’ll have you know that my reputation in this town is outstanding! I am the head administrator, and founder of Matears medical center! How dare you insinuate I’ve no intergrity! I’m bound by the hippocratic oath! That means I’m dedicated to healing, not injurying people. And that includes this insufferable oaf!” Corrine pulled her finger from Jame’s chest to point it at Brian.

Corrine's outburst stunned everyone.

“Fuck.” She said very uncharacteristically. She NEVER lost her patience!

“Such language out of that beautiful mouth.” Jagger pushed away from the hotel desk and walked towards her.

“Tell you what uncle James. I’ll escort the lady home, and escort her back here in the morning.” Jagger directed his words to James, but his eyes never left Corrine's.

“Pfsst! I think I’d rather take my chances with him.” She said motioning towards James.

Jagger leaned forward and whispered for her ears only.

“As hard as it will be on me, and I mean hard…I promise to behave.” Jagger drawled.

Corrine felt shivers go up her spine at his words. She did not like the affect this man had on her. He was much too young and much to dangerous. But she was tired, and depleted and just wanted to get home at this point.

“Fine.” She said, conceding to being ‘escorted’, even though the very idea appalled her.

All she wanted was to go home, and get some sleep. These people were exhausting.

“You can sleep on the couch.” She added then pushed past everyone and went to retrieve her coat.

Jagger watched her retreating form with an appreciative eye. James nudged his shoulder to get his attention.

“Well go ahead! And don’t let her out of your sight.” He commanded.

“Oh, don’t worry uncle James. There’s no chance of that.” Jagger said then followed the beautiful doctor out of the hotel. James turned back to Brian.

“So, it’s confirmed. She knows where Justin is.” He stated, more than asked, just for clarification.

Brian sighed a big sigh of relief that was short lived.

“Yeah, she knows. But he’s not well James. He has amnesia. The doctor says he doesn’t’ remember anything about his past. Not even who he is. Actually, he thinks he’s someone else.” Brian said.

Emmett gasped.

“Most cases of amnesia go away fairly quickly.” James tried to reassured Brian.

“I hope you’re right James.” Brian said in a very tired voice.

“I really won’t know anything until I see him. For now though, it’s good enough to know he’s alright, and being cared for.” Brian said resolutely, as if trying to convince himself.

Andy put his hand on Brian’s shoulder.

“Come on, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a very trying day.” He said.

Brian nodded, said his good nights, and followed Andy up to their room.

James turned to Emmett and frowned at the odd look on his face.

“I know that look Em, what is going on in that over-active brain of yours?” James asked.

“Oh nothing…” He said as he watched Andy lead Brian into the elevator.

Just as the elevator doors were closing, Emmett caught Brian lean his head on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason wrap his arms around him in what appeared to be a very intimate embrace.

Emmett’s eyes widened at the scene.

“Somethings not right in Never-Neverland James. Our Peter is in danger. I think we better keep a close eye on him…” Emmett said then went to secure them a room for the night.

James shook his head in confusion at Emmett’s words. Though he had no idea what Emmett was talking about, he knew one thing…Emmett loved Brian and Justin as if they were his own blood.

If he smelled trouble, then James would take that seriously. His own gut was telling him trouble was indeed, just around the corner. The sooner Brian got Justin back, the easier he would breathe.


	9. Not All Memory is Sweet

**"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."**

 

 

‘Jacques DuPont’ lounged languorously in an oversized padded wicker chaise out on the back porch. With his splinted leg resting atop an overturned milk bucket, he raised his face to the warm morning sun and wondered, not for the first time…

 

Who is Brian Kinney?

 

It really was so trifling a concern in the realm of unanswered questions he had piling up in his head that it barely merited even so much as a passing thought. Yet it was the one question he found himself obsessing over ever since Adeline brought him home.

 

Home.

 

If one described home as a place where one laid his head to sleep at night than it was indeed, his home. But other than that depiction of the small cabin he’d be convalescing in, the small, but cozy abode felt anything but ‘homey’ to him. Then again, nothing felt right to him. Not even his own identity. One, mercifully, Adeline provided him with. At least she gave him something to hold on to, whether he was comfortable with it or not. It was an anchor that grounded him. It kept him from going insane.

 

Jacques furrowed his brow in thought and unconsciously twisted the cowry bracelet he wore on his left wrist as he pondered the events of the past several days that led him here.

 

It had been just over a week since he washed up on the riverbank wounded and with no memory of his life. The ‘silence’ in his mind was deafening. During those first few days, he was in serious danger of being sucked into the black hole that was left behind from the eradication of his memory. It was unfathomable to believe that a whole life could be washed away in one single event. Yet, that was exactly what had happened to him. And the consequential effects were cataclysmic. If it weren’t for Adeline, he’d have gone completely mad by now.

 

Adeline filled his mental abyss with details of his life; well his life up till five years ago when she claimed he had disappeared. Those missing five years he feared were lost to him forever. Though five years or twenty-five years, (his supposed age), made little difference to him. He remembered none of it. The only information he had on who he was came from his wife.

His wife.

Yet another term he felt uncomfortable with. And the fact that he felt that way shamed him. He should not feel uncomfortable with his own wife, especially since he owed his very life to her.

 

Adeline not only saved his life, she saved his sanity. She cared for him, loved him and most importantly, she gave him ‘identity’.

 

He felt overwhelming gratitude towards her. Without her he’d literally be nobody.

 

She was the only one who ‘knew’ him. Who could provide him with a life he’d lost in that accident.

 

She, and perhaps this person named Brian Kinney….

 

Jacque’s gaze automatically went to his wrist. He removed the cowry bracelet that had been haunting him since the day he discovered its secret and read, yet again, the inscription etched on the inside.

“If lost, please return to owner, Brian Kinney”

Who was this Brian Kinney? And why was he wearing his bracelet? For some reason, these were questions Jacques felt he could not ask Adeline. He doubted she’d have any knowledge of who he was either. The assumption was not unreasonable since Adeline never mentioned a Mr. Kinney in her endless hours of recanting his life to him.

 

The name, like his name, his wife’s name, or any name he’d been told of did not sound familiar. Yet the bracelet…well the odd shell bracelet held importance to him for reasons not yet known to him.

It was familiar.

 

The night Adeline took him home she tried to remove it with the rest of his clothes so she could bathe him and was shocked at his reaction. He viciously shook her off of him, refusing to let her touch it. Adeline ignored his outburst at the time and wisely stayed clear of the only piece of jewelry he wore. She never broached the incident again.

 

It was the same with the doctor last night. Gilles innocently tried to place his fingers under the bracelet to take his pulse and Justin jerked his wrist away. When the doctor asked him why he reacted like that, Jacques confessed to him his attachment to it. Gilles assured him it was a good sign.

 

His curiosity over the bracelets’ origins and his connection to it grew with each passing day. It saddened him to know that he may never know the significance of it for in truth, a deep secret truth he would never reveal, was that the simple black band with the tiny pearl sea shells adorning it was more recognizable to him than all the things Adeline told him about his life, or…even Adeline herself…

 

With that depressing realization weighing heavy in his mind, Jacques took a deep, weary breath and refastened the intriguing bracelet back around his wrist.

 

Until his memory returned, and that was assuming it would, Jacques knew he would forever be haunted by the secrets the bracelet held, and its owner….Brian Kinney.

 

 

******************************************************

 

 

 

“Mikey shut the fuck up already, ok? I’m fine. You need to be with Ben. The hard part is over, we know where Justin is. Now go take care of the professor and stop worrying!” Brian spoke into his cell from the back seat of the rental.

 

Rena, who sat next to him, turned her head to hide her smile.

 

Ben had caught the flu and his doctors wanted him to recover in the hospital for precautionary reason. Ben was healthy, on the new drugs John’s company had developed for people with HIV to staid off the AID’s virus, which to date had outstanding results, but it was not one hundred percent fool proof. Like any of the new anti viral drugs, there were risks, and people with HIV still got AIDS.

 

The doctors believed Ben would weather this flu just fine, but since the cocktail he was now on was so new, they wanted to monitor his recovery in the hospital. Ben told Michael not to leave Brian, Deb was there with him, but Michael wanted to be by his partners’ side. Brian convinced him last night to go. He insisted Michael take the first flight out this morning, which Michael agreed to, but that did not stop him from calling Brian a million times to make sure he was ok with him leaving.

 

“I love you too Mikey. Now stop calling me.” Brian said then shut his cell.

 

“You could be a little kinder to him you know. He’s always been there for you, especially when you needed him the most.” ‘Jason’ said from his position up front next to James, who was driving the car.

 

Peter, Emmett, Jagger and Corrine rode in the car in front of them. Brian had insisted that Rena and ‘Jason’ ride with him.

 

Rena narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. Something happened in the last week between Jason and her brother. Brian was uncharacteristically attached to his daughters' boyfriend. Rena had every intention of questioning Brian on his newfound affection for the boy, but not now. Now it was more important that he and Justin be reunited.

 

Still….she couldn’t resist a little dig.

 

“Now what the fuck would you know about Brian’s and Michael’s relationship Jason?” She asked a bit too sharply.

 

Brian threw her a slanted glance.

 

“Leave it Re.” He warned.

 

Rena huffed. Something was definitely going on between the two, and she did not like it one bit.

 

“They’ve stopped at the bottom of the driveway. Do I pull up, or park behind them?” James asked.

 

Brian’s heart leaped in his throat. He could feel Justin was close.

 

“Park it here. I don’t want everyone barging in on him at once. You, Emmett and the boys wait here, An..um, I mean Jason, Corrine and Rena will come with me.” Brian said.

 

“What the fuck! Why in God’s name would you want Jason to come!” Rena fumed.

 

“I swear to God Rena can’t you just do what I ask for once without giving me the fucking third degree! Jesus you would think my own sister would support me!” Brian spat back.

 

“Brian, stop. This is no time for sibling rivalries.” Andy said.

 

Brian snorted and got out of the car.

 

“Fuck this. I’ll go up by myself.” He said.

 

Brian walked past Emmett, Jagger, Peter and Corrine who were all standing outside the car now and headed up the driveway.

 

“DAD WAIT!” Jagger shouted and ran after him.

 

Brian ignored him.

 

“Fuck. He’s just going to piss Brian off.” Rena said and ran after both of them.

 

Corrine shook her head and followed the Kinney clan. Someone needed to rein them in. If they thought she was a formidable protector of her patient, she shuddered to think how they’d fare against her father. If he so much gets a hint that his patients’ health might be jeopardized, then family or not, he would not let them see Justin. She hoped that between the sister, and that Jason boy who seemed to have some influence over Mr. Kinney, they would be able to stop him from doing something stupid. Jagger on the other hand was a loose cannon she’d have to deal with herself. That thought however wasn’t as unpleasant as she’d thought it would be.

 

Andy walked up to the remaining three men and sighed.

 

“All these years and STILL they are just as stubborn and reckless as they were as kids.. You would think age would have mellowed them a bit.” He lamented to himself heedless of his listeners then headed up the driveway with the others.

 

Emmett turned to James.

 

“Um, sweetie, I know you told me to butt out, in your oh so subtle way,” Emmett began tartly, “But you have to admit, there is something very odd about that boy. How would he know how Rena and Brian were as kids? He wouldn’t. Not unless Brian told him. And forgive me if I sound arrogant, but I believe I know Brian better than most, and the Brian Kinney “I” know would NEVER divulge personal family tidbits to some kid who’s dating his daughter!” He complained.

 

James had to agree with his lover. He’d known Brian near six years now, and he’d never seen Brian attach himself so quickly to anyone. Brian was the type of man who did not trust easily. One had to earn his trust, and that could take years.

 

“Em, I don’t understand the situation. But I do understand Brian. And so do you. No matter what our thoughts on his relationship with Jason, he’ll not appreciate our interference.” James said sternly.

 

Emmett huffed indignantly.

 

“Pssftt! He never appreciates our interference, but sometimes it’s necessary. Just like the time we staged his intervention. He flipped over that one, but it all worked out for the best in the end.” Emmett said.

 

James shook his head. “No. This is difference.” He stated flatly with no explanation.

 

Emmett was about to question him when Peter interrupted.

 

“Aunty Em, Uncle James is right. We can’t interfere. It will only make matters worse. In case you haven’t notice, Aunt Rena and Jagger already are on it. Neither of them like Dad’s new relationship with Jason. They’ll be giving him enough shit about it and when faced with such opposition, certain personality types, especially Dad’s personally type, will respond by rebelling.” Peter said.

 

Emmett looked at the boy and made a face.

 

“Oh, listen to professor Einstein! All those psych classes are making your head swell. Nobody likes a smarty pants.” Emmett chided affectionately.

 

Peter laughed. “I’m learning that.” He said.

 

The three men stood at the bottom of the driveway and waited.. All hoped for the best possible outcome. Brian needed his Sunshine back and fast. Things were getting very gloomy in Brian fucking Kinney’s world without him.

 

 

******************************************************

 

 

An old man, presumably the doctor, was talking to Brian on the front porch of the rustic, yet charming cabin, when Andy reached them. Rena and Jagger flanked him and were listening intently to what the doctor was saying. Corrine stood behind her farther.

 

It was apparent to Andy that Brian was not nearly as interested in the doctors’ words as his family was. His attention was clearly elsewhere. His body was stiff; his eyes darted around, searching for any sign of Justin.

 

“So you see Mr. Kinney, it’s important that we take this slowly…”

 

“Ok Doc, enough. Where is he?” Brian interrupted abruptly.

 

He’d been standing here now for what seemed like an eternity while this old man lectured him on how to approach his own partner! He was ready to tear some walls down if someone did not take him to Justin and fast!

 

Gilles sighed. There was no way this was going to go well. One way or another, this man was determined to see his lover. Gilles knew the man would resort to violence if it came to it, and Gilles wanted to avoid that at all costs. His eyes went to the younger man standing behind Mr. Kinney who just arrived on the scene. There was an odd serene look about him.

 

Dr. Gilles Vioget was a man who lived long enough in a profession that taught him to trust his instincts. He’d long ago accepted the fact that there was a force much stronger out there that defied science. Looking into the young man’s eyes, he felt something ‘spiritually’ calming. There was a connection between him and Mr. Kinney that Gilles did not sense with the others. He went with his instincts and spoke to the young man.

 

“Will you go with him? At all costs Jacques must be protected emotionally.” He asked over Brian’s shoulder.

 

Everyone turned around to see who the doctor was talking to.

 

Neither Rena nor Jagger looked very happy at the doctors’ suggestion.

 

“Excuse me Doctor, but I’m Brian's sister, Justin’s sister-in-law so to speak, plus I’m a doctor of psychiatry. It only stands to reason that I am the best candidate to mediate this first meeting.” Rena said, her voice tinged with authority, and a bit of condescension.

 

‘Who did these country bumpkin doctors think they were? Probably got their degrees off the back of a matchbook cover.’ She thought peevishly.

 

Gilles gave her a patronizing smile. “Yes, I’m sure you are the best logical choice Mrs. Remington, but it is Mr. Kinney’s decision. I’ll leave it to him.” He said, once again trusting his instincts.

 

Brian turned to Andy and motioned his head for him to step forward. Andy nodded and walked towards him.

 

“Lets go get Sunshine.” He said.

 

Rena sputtered, Jagger cursed.

 

Brian turned on them both.

 

“This is NOT about you two! It’s about Justin! I don’t want his mind to go on overload should he remember something. He barely knows Jason, where as we are all close family. I’m hoping to spark his memory. I don’t want too many familiar faces around should that happen. It might confuse him more, or short his brain out like the doc said.” Brian explained.

 

The doctor smiled. So he was listening, though he didn’t put it quite that way.

 

Rena and Jagger dutifully kept their mouths shut. They couldn’t argue with his reasoning.

 

Once Brian was satisfied he wasn’t going to get any more shit from them he turned back to the doc.

 

“Where is he?” He asked softly.

 

“On the back porch.” Gilles answered.

 

The words barely left the doctors mouth when Brian’s legs started moving. Andy was right on his heels.

 

 

***********************************************

 

 

Jacques felt a warm, soothing hand caress his injured leg as if it were examining his injury.

 

He must have dozed off. His eyes were closed, and the suns rays were stronger now on his face.

 

He slowly opened his eyes and looked down to find the most beautiful face gazing up at him. Jacques body immediately came alive.

 

The Adonis’s hazel eyes were so intense, so compellingly alluring they nearly took Jacques breath away.

 

 _“I just saw the face of God.”_ The words unexpectedly popped into his head.

 

“Hey.” The beautiful strangers’ voice croaked out. Jacques could hear the deep emotion in them.

 

“Hey.” He responded in kind.

 

Brian held his breath and waited. He looked deeply into Justin’s’ eyes for some sign of recognition, but found none. Justin had no clue who he was.

 

Pain gripped his heart.

 

For a brief minute, when he first saw Justin dozing on the Chaise looking beautiful, alive and healthy, his heart soared. He found him. That was all that mattered. He had convinced himself that no matter what Justin’s reaction, it wouldn’t matter.

 

He was wrong.

 

Andy sensed Brian’s pain and walked over to where he knelt by Justin’s side and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

 

Brian quickly composed himself and smiled at Justin.

 

Justin smiled back, one of his million watt smiles.

 

“Be careful, you might make the Sun jealous.” Brian teased.

 

Justin laughed.

 

The sound sent slivers of joy and pain through Brian’s heart.

 

“Hmmm. The Sun, or you?” He teased back.

 

 _'What the fuck!? Am I flirting with him? No. I can’t be! I have a wife for Christ sakes! Fuck! I wish my body would remember that little fact!'_ The conflicting thoughts ran a gamut through his mind.

 

 _'Well he’s attracted to me. That’s a good sign.'_ Brian thought to himself.

"Both." Brian answered.

Both men stared at each other in awkward silence.

“How’s the leg?” Brian asked, breaking the spell.

 

‘Jacques’ was grateful for the question. He was sure his face was flaming red with embarrassment.

 

“It’s only been a week, but I think it’s fine. Dr. Vioget said it feels like a clean break but he thinks I should get it x-rayed.” He answered.

 

“Hmmm… I think he’s right.” Brian said.

 

‘Jacques’ made a face. “Adeline doesn’t think it’s a good idea.” He said.

 

Brian frowned. He was filled in on Adeline's role in Justin’s rescue, and her role in his life. Apparently, the woman was deranged, thinking Justin was her long lost dead husband. Brian wanted to be furious with the woman, but couldn’t. She saved Justin’s life, and according to Corrine and Gilles, was suffering from severe delusion stemming from her own tragic losses.

 

Still, he was grateful Gilles sent her to town this morning to get some medical supplies for her ‘husband.’ She would only complicate things more then they already were. Somehow he had to convince Justin to go to the hospital. At least there, he’d be away from her influence and could begin the healing process.

 

“Yeah, well I’ll talk to Adeline.” Brian said biting his lip in concentration.

 

‘Jacques’ tilted his head. “Do I know you?” He asked.

 

Andy leaned down and whispered into Brian’s ear.

 

“Think before you answer.” He advised.

 

Brian idly ran his hand up Justin’s leg and gently grabbed Justin’s wrist, which was resting on the Chaise by his side.

 

‘Jacques’ looked down at the hand clutching his wrist and gasped.

 

“What?” Brian asked alarmed at Justin’s reaction

 

‘Jacques’ eyes snapped back to Brian’s.

 

“Our bracelets!” He spat out excitedly.

 

Brian looked down at their wrists, which were both adorned with their commitment bracelets that Brian had made for them to exchange on their ‘celebration’ day.

 

“They match.” He confirmed, careful not to give too much away. It was important that Justin remember on his own.

 

“You’re Brian Kinney!” ‘Jacques’ stated as if he just discovered ice cream or chocolate.

 

Brian couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“You remember me?” He asked hopefully.

 

‘Jacques’ sobered up quickly. “No, I’m sorry I don’t, but I’m wearing your bracelet!” He said and removed his bracelet to show Brian the inscription.

 

“See! It says right here, "if lost please return to owner, Brian Kinney”. ‘Jacques’ smiled at Brian then held the bracelet out to him.

 

“I guess this belongs to you.” He said sadly, though he was unsure of why he felt sad about it.

 

Brian removed his own bracelet and handed it to Justin.

 

“Then I guess this one belongs to you.” He said, handing his bracelet to Justin.

 

“Geesh Bean, do you think that’s wise?” Andy asked.

 

Brian, who was still kneeling by Justin’s side, looked up at Andy sharply.

 

“Yes, I do.” He said, daring Andy to defy him.

 

He turned back to Justin and urged him to take the bracelet from him.

 

They exchanged bracelets and ‘Jacques’ read the inscription inside of Brian’s bracelet.

“if lost, return to owner, Justin Taylor.”

‘Jacques’ looked back at Brian to see him staring intently at him, waiting for his reaction.

 

“Adeline doesn’t know, does she?” He asked, shocking Brian.

 

“No.” Brian whispered.

 

“Justin Taylor.” ‘Jacques’ repeated the name out loud. The name fit he thought. His mind soaked it in.

 

“I was Justin Taylor.”

 

“You are Justin Taylor.” Brian corrected.

 

Justin shook his head in denial.

 

“I’m no one, don’t you understand?” He said, his eyes tearing.

 

Brian moved to embrace him but Justin pulled back.

 

“No, don’t.” He whispered.

 

Brian was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do.

 

“Justin, listen to me. Are you listening to me?” He asked.

 

Justin turned to look at Brian; the words rang familiar in his head.

 

“Yeah, I’m listening.” He answered, almost automatically.

 

“You ARE Justin Taylor. And yes, I know, you also believe you are Jacques DuPont. But in time, you’ll sort it all out. It’s not important that you do now. All you need to know is that you have people around you that love you, and want to help you get better. And the best way to do that is in a hospital.” Brian urged.

 

Justin shook his head venomously.

 

“No! Adeline doesn’t want me to go the hospital. And I KNOW Adeline loves me! She saved my life!” Justin protested.

 

Then, suddenly, Justin’s eyes grew wide as the realization of what the bracelets, and the inscriptions meant.

 

Brian saw the look and cursed. He didn’t like it when Sunshine’s over active imagination kicked it. It usually did not bode well, and by the look on his face, Justin’s imagination was running amok.

 

“Oh God, oh God oh God…” Justin grabbed his head and started chanting, he was going into panic mode, Brian recognized the signs.

 

“Justin, deep breaths! Steady, slow deep breaths!” Brian instructed and stood up to rub the back of Justin’s neck.

 

Justin tried to follow Brian’s instructions and breathe. His mind was racing. How could this be happening to him?!! He knew the answer, and the answer sickened him. For some reason, he abandoned his wife five years ago to be with this man! How could he do that to Adeline! He may not know much of his past, but he couldn’t believe for one second he’d do something so cruel to such a wonderful, caring person. His wife! He made the commitment to her when they got married! He hated to think he’d run off like that! Oh God no and she was pregnant at the time! Did she loose the baby because he ran off on her?! With another man no less! Was the shock too much for her to bear?!

 

No, no no no no no …!!! He couldn’t take the weight of the guilt he was feeling. His careless, selfish, ruthless actions five years ago caused the death of his child.

 

He turned hateful eyes to Brian.

 

“Did you KNOW my wife was pregnant!” He screamed at him.

 

Brian jerked back in shock. Not sure what the fuck Justin was talking about.

 

“Pregnant? Adeline is pregnant?’ He asked stunned.

 

“NO! I mean when I ran off with you five years ago!” Justin screeched near hysterically.

 

“Justin what are you talking about?” Brian asked fearfully. He could see Justin was on the verge of a losing it.

 

“Justin…” Justin spat his name out as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

“I can’t even blame you, can I?” He said, confusing the fuck out of Brian.

 

“Blame me for what!” Brian asked, his fear getting the best of him.

 

“And if blaming me helps you calm the fuck down, then God damn it, BLAME ME.” He yelled.

 

“I obviously made up that name. I lied to you, lied to my own wife, and most likely am responsible for the miscarriage. Oh God, nooooo! What kind of monster am I?” Justin buried his face in his hands and started wailing.

 

Understanding dawned on Brian.

 

“Jesus Christ no! That’s not what happened! If Adeline had a miscarriage I PROMISE you, it wasn’t your fault! Listen Justin…You and I were long before Adeline ever came into the picture.” Brian said.

 

The words must have penetrated Justin’s mind because he settled down a bit. The guilt of what he imagined was lifted from his shoulders. Still, there were so many unanswered questions.

 

“How long?” He asked skeptically.

 

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose. “ I can’t tell you. I’ve told you too much already. The doctor say’s you have to remember on your own, else you won’t be able to trust what’s real, and what’s been planted. Adeline should not have tried to fill in your memory. There is much she doesn’t know, and…” Brian hesitated, turning his eyes away, as if contemplating his next words carefully before speaking them out loud.

 

“…her own memory is a bit faulty.” He finally said, turning his eyes back to Justin’s.

 

Justin searched Brian’s eyes for the truth and saw it there. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves.

 

“Yeah, well, if she didn’t tell me who I was, I’d have gone mad by now. You’ve no idea how devastating it is to ‘lose’ yourself.” He said shyly, his eyes downcast.

 

“Yes, actually I do.” Brian replied, remembering the time he was in a comma.

 

Brian put his hand under Justin’s chin and raised his head so their eyes met. He felt Justin coming around a bit, but he needed him to dig deep down, and ‘feel’ Brian. If he could get Justin to tap into his instinct, his gut feeling, his ‘soul’ if you will, he knew Justin would place his trust in him to do what’s best for him.

 

Brian held Justin’s eyes with his own and searched, deep. He ‘willed’ Justin’s soul to ‘see’ him.

 

“Justin”.. He whispered.

 

“Look deep, do you feel me? On any level?” Brian asked, desperate for Justin to recognize him.

 

Justin searched the depths of Brian’s eyes. He reached deep inside of himself for something….it was there, he could feel it, but it was just out of his reach. The harder he tried to tap into that ‘place’, the place where being and knowing merged, the more unattainable it became.

 

Justin blinked and frowned.

 

“I’m sorry, but no.” He said.

 

Brian narrowed his eyes in confusion. He was sure that at the very least, Justin would ‘feel’ their connection. They always had it. Since the very first time they laid eyes on each other their souls connected on a level that neither understood, nor acknowledge, on his part anyway, but felt. Yet, he could tell Justin couldn’t ‘feel’ him. He felt no connection.

 

The realization of that stunned, and wounded Brian, deeply.

 

He smiled weakly at Justin and released his hold on his chin. He would not let his blonde see the grave disappointment he was feeling.

 

“Well, I’m sure in time, it will all come to you.” Brian tried to reassure him.

 

“In the meantime, I think it’s best you go to the hospital to get x-rays, and checked out by some professionals. I have connections to the best doctors in the world. My sister is a world-renowned psychiatrist herself.” Brian said.

 

Justin squished one side of his face up, causing one eye to close as he glared at Brian with his other eye.

 

“I don’t want to go to the hospital. Adeline say’s they’ll put me in the psych ward. I won’t take the risk.” Justin said firmly.

 

Brian sighed. “I promise you that won’t happen.” He said.

 

Justin huffed a half laugh. “And because you ‘promise’, I’m suppose to believe you?” He retorted.

 

Brian looked so affronted, Justin nearly laughed.

 

“I’ve NEVER lied to you, and I’ve NEVER broken a promise.” Brian roared.

 

“How do I know that?” Justin asked eyeing Brian suspiciously.

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t know shit right now, other than what Adeline told you.” Brian said a little too sharply.

 

“Yeah, well at least she saved my life, you just felt my leg up.” Justin threw back.

 

Brian barked out a laugh. “As if you didn’t enjoy it.” He challenged.

 

Justin turned red. “I’m sure anyone would enjoy your touch. You are hot. Still doesn’t mean you’re trustworthy. Exactly how many legs have you felt up?” Justin asked impishly.

 

Brian winched. “I forget how stubborn you can be.” He said then turned to Andy.

 

“Well, any advice? You’ve just been standing there this whole time. I thought you were suppose to help me?” Brian vented his frustration onto his brother.

 

Andy shrugged his shoulders, feeling frustrated himself.

 

“Geesh Bean, I don’t know! Hey, Justin, he’s telling you the truth. He never breaks a promise, ok?” Andy said turning to speak to Justin.

 

Justin laughed.

 

“Ok, now I’m convinced.” He said sarcastically.

 

Brian growled.

 

Andy stepped forward.

 

“Ease up Bean. He’s got a point.” Andy said.

 

“What do you say we all just take some time to get to know each other, ok? In time, Justin, you’ll see just who Brian is. I believe you will find that he is exactly who he says he is. He never lies, and never makes a promise he can’t keep.” Andy suggested.

 

Justin gazed up at the young man who had yet to introduce himself with a perplexed look.

 

“And how are you related to Brian? Are you his lover?” He asked.

 

Brian cursed and threw his hands up.

 

Andy saw the motion for what it was. Justin, or more accurately, Justin’s condition, was infuriating Brian.

 

“No, I’m not his lover. I’m his…friend.” Andy said and reached out to offer his hand to Justin.

 

Justin took his hand and froze…

 

 _… water, dark, murky, swallowing him up… sinking deeper, growing more frantic…pain, burning… no oxygen…. “God please don’t let me die here….don’t do this to Brian…” Sinking, deeper…then a hand…reaching down.. grasping his…pulling him up… freedom..._

The memory flashed through Justin’s mind. Brian and Andy saw the dazed, far awake look in Justin’s eyes. Andy tried to release Justin’s hand but the action only caused Justin’s breath to quicken and his hold on Andy tighten.

“What’s happening?” Brian asked frightened.

“I don’t know. Gabriel!” Andy called out loud.

 _“Do you not understand?”_ Gabriel answered.

“NO damn it I don’t, what is happening Gabriel!” Andy yelled out to the angel.

Brian looked at his brother, frantic with worry. Something very profound was happening, and he was clueless how to help his brother, or Justin.

Justin would not let go of Andy, and Brian instinctively knew not to try to force them apart.

“Andy, what is happening!” Brian yelled at his brother.

“I’m trying to find out!” Andy growled through gritted teeth.

 _“When you broke through the two worlds you had to manifest your soul into solid form so that you may pull Justin to safety. In doing so, you exposed your true nature to him. The soul, in its purest state, is so blinding, it is beyond human comprehension. It is what humans refer to as ‘the blinding white light’ that guides them to heaven. Justin’s soul saw your light and was stunned by it. Think of it as a deer caught in the headlights. His soul is still in the ‘head lights’. It’s why he does not recognize his soul mate, but your touch, once again in solid form, has jolted his soul into remembering your first encounter. He’s reliving the event.”_ Gabriel explained.

“Will he remember everything when we part?” Andy asked.

 _“I fear not my child. That is the consequence of your actions. His soul will remain in its current state of limbo. Only your touch will reawaken it, and only to the horror of the tragic accident that brought you two together.”_ Gabriel announced.

“NOOO!! Gabriel, that can’t be true! Why am I here then?” He asked, tears falling down his face.

Brian placed his hand over Andy’s and Justin’s hands and held on. He did not like the one sided conversation he was hearing his brother have with this Angel.

 _“Even I do not know the answer to that question. But remember what I told you. Do you remember?”_ Gabriel asked.

Andy squeezed his eyes shut.

“Yes. Anything is possible. All you need is love, and faith.” Andy said.

“That is right. Remember that my child, and you will find a way.” Gabriel said.

Andy took a deep breath and turned to his brother and smiled.

“There is hope.” He said simply.

Brian smiled back through the tears that streamed down his face and nodded in acceptance.

He needed to believe in Andy, in his words.

Where there is love, there is hope...And Brian could love Justin enough for the both of them for the rest of time if need be.

“Bean, you have to help me disengage from Justin. My touch is making him remember his near drowning.” He said.

Brian immediately swept into action and yanked the two apart.

Justin fell back against the Chaise and sucked in as much air as he could. His lungs felt as if they’d been denied the sweet gas for hours. His body was covered in a slick sheen of sweat from exertion, an exertion he did not warrant, but yet his body felt.

Brian sat down on the Chaise next to Justin and whispered soothing words to him as he smoothed his sweat covered hair from his face.

Justin looked past him to the man that purported to be Brian’s friend.

Justin spoke, and when he did, it broke Brian’s heart into a million pieces.

“Andy”……

Ã†schylus


	10. My Brothers' Keeper

**“And I will be my brother's keeper  
Not the one who judges him  
I won't despise him for his weakness  
I won't regard him for his strength  
I won't take away his freedom  
I will help him learn to stand  
And I will ~ I will be my brother's keeper”**

 **~ Rich Mullen**

 

 _Heaven…,_

 _The Archangel Michael sat regally upon the cottony cloud surrounded by halo-clad cherubs who fluttered gleefully around him as he strummed his golden harp._

 _As Gabriel approached, the euphoric feeling of total harmony intensified._

 _He smiled indulgently at the Archangel._

 _“A bit cliché, isn’t it?” He remarked good-naturedly._

 _Michael smiled back at him, his delicate fingers never missing a note on the heavenly harp._

 _“It’s cliché for a reason, it works.” Michael opined with a sly smile._

 _With one last heavenly note, he ended the soothing melody and placed the harp to his side._

 _“Come sit with me and tell me of your venture.” Michael motioned for Gabriel to join him on his cloud._

 _Gabriel floated up and sat near his side. The cherubs playfully climbed up on his lap._

 _Gabriel let himself be soothed by their presence._

 _“They sense your distress Gabriel. Is it not going well with your ward?” Michael asked._

 _Gabriel sighed and turned to the Archangel. “This one is difficult. I feel I am failing in my mission.” Gabriel confessed._

 _Michael unfurled his wings and wrapped his fellow Angel within them._

 _“You will not fail Gabriel.” He reassured him._

 _Gabriel cosseted himself in Michaels embrace._

 _“Things are not progressing as I expected.” He lamented._

 _“The reunion did not go well?” Michael asked._

 _“No, he did not remember. And I was so sure he would.” Gabriel said._

 _Michael sighed. “Well, at least the brothers are together again. You did well there.” Michael commended._

 _Gabriel was warmed by his praise. “Now only if I can get him to remember so their souls can re-join. He is a stubborn one.” Gabriel said._

 _Michael heard the frustration in his voice._

 _“Through no fault of yours Gabriel, it is the curse.” Michael reminded him._

 _“But it is their time, the curse should be lifted.” Gabriel said._

 _“True, but the stain of it remains on the fabric of their lives. Be patient Gabriel. Your love and guidance will see them through this. All will be as it should be again, in time.” Michael assured him._

 _Gabriel nodded and let himself be soothed by the Archangels words._

 _“And I shall be guided by my Lord’s faith in me.” Gabriel vowed._

 _“Yes, you shall.” Michael confirmed._

 _Gabriel was pulled from his thoughts and Michaels embrace._

 _“I must go. He calls to me.” He said as he reluctantly left the comfort of the Archangels presence._

 _“A thought Gabriel?” Michael offered._

 _Gabriel turned to him expectantly._

 _“Yes, please. I would welcome any advice you can give me.” He said._

 _“Seek help from the other. He has a vested interest in the rejoining.” Michael reasoned._

 _Gabriel took all of one minute to decipher Michaels meaning._

 _“Of course! I should have thought of that. The Ouroboros.” Gabriel said._

 _“The trinity of the souls will complete the cycle. From beginning to end to beginning anew.” Michael sagely replied._

 _Gabriel nodded in acknowledgement then thanked the Archangel before flying back down to the gate._

 _Michael picked up his harp once Gabriel had left and started strumming._

 _“Now my darlings, what shall we play? A tribute to Gabriel’s wards?” He asked teasingly._

 _The ethereal heavenly creatures giggled and fluttered their wings in approval as Michael started strumming the melody to the song…._

 _…Save The Last Dance For Me…_

 

 

**********************************

 

 

 

“He’s been sitting on that fucking rock for an hour now!” Jagger said frustrated.

 

“And he’ll sit there another ten hours if he wants! I’m not going over there again, you want to try?” Rena snapped back at him.

 

Brian had been sitting on large rock some ten yards away from the front of the cabin smoking one cigarette after another, and occasionally, barking obscenities to no one in particular.

 

He had emerged from the back porch looking like he wanted to commit murder. Neither Justin, nor Jason were with him. Rena tried to approach him and was rebuffed rudely.

 

He told her to ‘fuck off and leave him alone.’

 

Since she couldn’t go into the house, per the Doctor’s and Brian’s orders to stay away from Justin, she asked Corrine to find out what happened.

 

Apparently, Justin did not remember Brian, but he did recognize Jason. According to Corrine, Justin was extremely distraught and clung to Jason, afraid to let him leave his side. Gilles had to give Justin a sedative. Corrine said he was acting irrational and confused. He kept calling Jason, “Andy”.

 

Everyone was disturbed and baffled by Justin’s behavior. They all thought that for some reason, Jason triggered a memory of Justin and Brian’s son, Andy. And that Justin was holding on to Jason, in an attempt to hold on to the memory.

 

Rena however suspected that Justin was thinking about another Andy altogether. And that thought sent chills down her spine.

 

She wanted to talk to Brian about it, but he was not receptive to conversation at this point. He was unapproachable, and extremely hurt. Though he hid it well behind his anger. Rena was not fooled though. Brian was earnestly trying to come to terms with, and understand Justin’s reaction.

 

She knew it must have been a shock to him, having Justin mistake Jason for their departed brother. True, Jason did resemble Andy, but only slightly. Justin never met their brother. If he had any memory of him it was from an old photograph of him as a teen, before he died. And Justin had used that photo to recreate his image on canvas for Brian, so he probably had a strong memory of it through his artist eye, but still, the fact that it was their brother he recognized, and not his own partner, must have cut Brian deeply.

 

“Well we can’t just stand out here all day! Adeline should be returning soon. You know that’s going to create another scene. Thank God the doctor sedated Daddy J. I don’t think he could handle Dads sudden appearance AND his ‘wifes' hysterics once she finds out we’re here to take her husband home, all in one day.” Peter said.

 

Rena bit her bottom lip worriedly. She wished James was here. He left with Emmett to provide lodgings for the night. He knew Brian would want to stay with Justin, but unless Adeline agreed to let him stay the night, he would have to resort to camping outside the cabin. Rena had every intention of camping out with him, as did everyone else if it came to that. Not one of his family was going to desert him now.

 

“Peter has a point. I’m going to wait for Adeline down at the end of the driveway. I’ll explain the situation to her before she comes up. Hopefully it will ease the shock a bit. We have to remember she’s been through a lot herself in the past week. Not only does she believe her missing husband has returned to her after a five year absence, she’s now about to find out he has a whole other family.” Corrine said.

 

“You are going to have to lie to her you know. She won’t accept the truth and Justin will trust her over us at this point.” Rena said.

 

“I know. I’ll tell her that you are his friends who he’s been staying with the past five years. We all have to be clear on this. We can’t let her feel threatened. If she insists we leave, you’re right, Justin will back her. Then it will get messy. The police will become involved, and Justin will have to be taken away forcefully from what he considers his home. I fear that will do more damage to him emotionally and he can’t afford another shock right now.” Corrine said.

 

Rena, Peter and Jagger agreed with her.

 

“I’ll go with you. You can introduce me first, easing the way. I’ll tell her I met Justin at the Liberty Diner, and I took him home to stay with us because he had nowhere to go, and no memory of his past. It’s a simple enough explanation for now. As for his name, we can tell her we gave him that name since he didn’t remember his own. The less we say we know about him, the fewer questions she’ll have for us.” Jagger suggested.

 

Corrine nodded. “That should work. But I want to ask Mr. Kinney what he thinks we should do first. It’s his call. If he decides to exercise his legal rights, he should do it now, before Adeline returns, while Justin is sedated.”

 

Rena looked over at her brother who now took to pacing in front of the rock.

 

“It’s too late for that. Even if he does want to take Justin away tonight, he can’t do it before Adeline returns. He’ll need to contact the police, and get an ambulance up here. That will take time. We’ll still need to deal with Adeline. Let’s just go with this plan for now. I’ll go talk to Brian.” Rena said.

 

“You want me to go with you Aunt Rena?” Peter asked.

 

“No honey, why don’t you call the house and give Fran and Joan the latest update. It’s important the children know their Dads are ok. I’ll deal with Brian.” Rena suggested.

 

“Ok, if you need me though, I’ll be near.” Peter said.

 

With that, Jagger and Corrine went down the driveway to meet Adeline, and Peter went off to make his call.

 

Rena took a deep fortifying breath and went off to face the Lion.

 

****************************

 

 

Brian’s mind was racing. Something was not right. He could accept that Justin recognized Andy’s touch, having been pulled from the river by him, but he couldn’t reconcile in his head Justin’s sudden attachment to his brother. Andy assured him that Justin didn’t remember him (which was impossible since they never met) he just remembered the accident when Andy touched him. Yet, Justin kept insisting that he ‘knew’ Andy.

 

When Brian asked him if he remembered Andy from the accident, Justin said no. He had no memory of the accident, but he insisted that he knew Andy, and more importantly, he insisted that Andy knew him.

 

It baffled Andy as much as it did Brian. But most of all, it was confusing the hell out of Justin and he was getting more anxious by the minute. He had many questions that neither man could answer. All he knew was that somehow, Andy was connected to him and he was desperate not to lose that connection.

 

Brian went and got Gilles when he saw Justin growing more and more agitated at this new development. He kept asking Andy not to leave him again.

 

Gilles sedated Justin only after Andy promised Justin he wouldn’t leave him.

 

And that’s where Andy was now. Where HE should be. By Justin’s side.

 

“Hey, what’s going on?” His sister’s voice broke through his thoughts.

 

“Nothing. Leave me alone.” Brian said, unable to deal with her right now. How the fuck was he going to explain to her what’s going on when he couldn’t understand it himself!

 

“Bullshit. Justin thinks Jason is our brother Andy, doesn’t he?” She asked bluntly.

 

It was a family trait he and Rena shared. Brutal, blunt honesty at all times.

 

“Yes, he does.” Brian simply answered.

 

“I don’t understand. I mean there is a resemblance, but still, why Andy? The only connection he has with Andy is through you. He never knew of Andy until he met you.” She mused out loud.

 

Brian stopped dead in his tracks at her words. He turned to his sister, his eyes wide.

 

“Maybe it’s not how Justin is connected to Andy, but how Andy is connected to Justin!” Brian blurted out excitedly as the pieces starting fitting together in his head.

 

“Re, Andy knew Justin way before I did! He drew a picture of him standing up against that lamppost where we met! Justin must have been only two at the time when Andy drew that picture.” He said.

 

Justin’s words still rung in his head.

 

….” He knows me”…

It was starting to make an odd kind of sense to him.

 

Rena could see his mind working furiously. Their brother had the ‘sight’ as they called it. Only she, Brian and their mother knew about it. Often Andy would predict things to come. When Brian was just 13, Andy drew a picture of Justin as a teen, standing under a lamppost. He told Rena the boy was for Brian. At the time, Brian was so deep in his own pain trying to spare his brother the pain of his death that Andy decided to give the drawing to Rena for safe keeping, until Brian was ready to accept it. Brian now had that drawing.

 

“June 6th.” Brian suddenly said, shock registering on his face.

 

Rena’s throat constricted.

 

“The night Andy died.” Rena whispered. Not sure where Brian was going with this.

 

“The night Justin got bashed and almost died.” Brian said.

 

They both looked at each other, comprehension simultaneously registered in their eyes.

 

“The night Justin disappeared.” They said in unison.

 

June 6th. Seven days ago to date, Justin almost died in that river.

 

Rena shook her head.

 

“It’s a coincidence! What else could it be?” She asked as fear gripped her heart. Fear of the unknown. Rena was a doctor, a scientist; she was not comfortable with the indications of Brian’s words.

 

“I don’t know Re, but it’s not a coincidence. If it were, Andy wouldn’t be here right now.” He blurted out.

 

Rena looked at him askew.

 

“Andy’s always with us Brian, you know that.” She said, not really understanding what Brian meant.

 

Brian spat out a something unintelligible then said,

 

“Fuck it.”

 

He grabbed his sister by her arms and looked directly into her eyes.

 

“No, Re, I mean as in here, in the flesh.” He said.

 

Rena blinked twice then put her hand up to feel his forehead.

 

“Bean, when was the last time you took your blood pressure medicine?” She asked.

 

Brian sighed exasperated. Well, did he think this would be easy?

 

He slapped her hand away from his forehead.

 

“I’m not crazy or delusional! Andy is in Jason’s body Re. Why do you think we’ve been so inseparable? I know, it was hard for me to believe at first too but its true. It was Andy who pulled Justin from the River. Only he shouldn’t have and now Justin can’t remember me, or anyone for that matter. Well except Andy, and he doesn’t really remember Andy, he just knows he knows him.” Brian tried to explain only his explanations sounded like the ramblings of a mad man.

 

Rena sucked her breath in, shocked at how far off the deep end her brother was. She feared for his sanity.

 

“Ok, that’s it. I’m getting you to a hospital right now. Don’t even try to stop me. You’re having a breakdown Bean. If need be, I’ll pull MY strings to have you committed before you hurt yourself, or Jason or Justin!” She threatened, panic evident in her voice.

 

Brian was about to respond when a voice bellowed..

 

“You’ll do no such thing Rena. He’s telling you the truth.”

 

Both siblings turned around to see Jason standing there.

 

Brian released Rena and ran to his brother.

 

“How is he?” He asked. His voice was laden with concern.

 

Andy smiled soothingly at him.

 

“He’s sleeping. He asked for you before he dozed off.” Andy said.

 

“Wait, what the fuck did you just say?” Rena said interrupting their conversation.

 

“I said he asked for Bean.” Andy replied.

 

“No, I mean before that! Did you just tell me he’s telling me the truth about you??!!” Rena asked clearly incredulous at the whole situation.

 

Andy approached Rena, a stern look on his face.

 

“Yes, he is telling the truth. And how DARE you threaten to have our brother committed! Has he ever lied to you? Does he look deranged? I know it’s hard to believe worm, but it’s true. You and I know these things are possible, if not probable. We both inherited Mamas' unshakable faith. It’s why I wouldn’t let you take my life that night. It’s why Bean wouldn’t let me take my own life. Because of our strong faith. One he didn’t share. What has happen to you sis? Have you lost yours?” Andy scolded harshly.

 

Rena stood there staring dumbly at Jason. His words rung in her head. Only Andy knew she offered to take his life that night. She never even told Bean! And only Andy use to call her ‘worm’.

 

“B.. bb..ut how…?” She stuttered.

 

“I never went to Heaven. I was compelled to stay at the gate to watch over you and Bean. Gabriel kept asking me if I was ready, but I never was. Then, I saw Justin drowning and I broke through our worlds to pull him out. I knew I was breaking the rules, but I thought the consequences would be on me. Instead, my actions have caused Justin to lose his memory. Re, he can’t remember his own soul mate, and it’s my fault…” Andy said, his voice deep with regret.

 

“Gabriel granted me this opportunity to try to fix the damage I’ve done, only I screwed it up again. Instead of remembering Brian, Justin remembers me. Well, not quite remembers, but he says he ‘knows’ me, and I have no clue as to why. Gabriel won’t give me any answers. And for each day I occupy Jason’s body, he loses a day. We need to find some answers fast. I’m using up too many of Jason’s days as it is.” Andy tried to explain.

 

Rena heard only one thing.

 

Her brother was here. His spirit was alive, in Jason’s body.

 

She walked up to him and searched his eyes.

 

“Andy?” She asked hesitantly.

 

“Yeah sis, it’s me.” He said.

 

Rena threw herself into Andy’s arms and started crying.

 

“It’s you, it’s really you!” She cried into his neck.

 

Andy embraced his sister heartily and cried with her. He’d forgotten how good it felt to be human, and with those he loved the most.

 

Rena abruptly pulled away from Andy but kept a death grip on his forearms.

 

“Mama?!” She cried out the question.

 

“I don’t know. I never made it to heaven. I’ve been at the gate all this time.” Andy said.

 

“Have you any doubt she’s in Heaven?” Brian asked them.

 

Both smiled at him and shook their heads.

 

Andy held out his arm for Brian to join them. The three siblings embraced lovingly.

Neither wanted to let go.

 

It was Brian who was first to break away.

 

“Andy, I think I may be on to something.” He said.

 

Andy wiped the tears from his eyes and looked questioningly at his brother.

 

“Tell me.” Andy said.

 

“I think the connection between you and Justin stems from you.” He said.

 

Andy looked at him skeptically.

 

“What makes you think that?” He asked.

 

“You knew him first. The drawing?” Brian said.

 

Andy raised his eyebrow.

 

“I totally forgot about that drawing.” He said.

 

“It’s not just the drawing, there’s another connection.” Brian said.

 

“What?” Andy asked.

 

“June 6th.”

 

“The day I died?” Andy asked not understanding.

 

“It’s also the date Justin was bashed, and the date you pulled him from the river.” Brian said.

 

“Is it? I hadn’t realized. There is no time in the afterworld.” Andy said.

 

“Oh Andy what is it like?” Rena asked still shocked that her brother was actually here, with them once again.

 

“Sis, I’ve basically been in limbo this whole time. All I’ve done is watch you and Bean live your lives, and on occasion, interceded. Other than my conversations with Gabriel, there was nothing else for me to experience.” He explained.

 

“Jesus Andy, is that like purgatory?” Brian questioned.

 

Andy shrugged his shoulders. “It’s hard to explain. It’s nothing like we were taught, and it is. It’s best if I leave these questions to be answered when your time comes. Just know there is no death, just the transition from one form of existence, to another.” Andy answered as best he could.

 

Rena and Brian nodded solemnly. Each in awe of the miracle that was truly happening to them.

 

“So you’re saying that the date June 6th, connects me and Justin somehow?” Andy asked.

 

“I’m not sure, but it’s not a coincidence. It’s all related. Your death, Justin’s bashing, his accident, …” Brian’s words trailed off as he just remembered something.

 

“Shit, I’ve got to call Jennifer.” He said pulling out his cell.

 

“What? What is it?” Rena asked.

 

Brian dialed the number than looked up at his sister and brother.

 

“Justin told me he almost died when he was two. That’s the year Andy died. He said he had pneumonia and the doctor gave him penicillin. His throat closed up because he was allergic. His mother had to rush him to the hospital where they had to do CPR on him. How much you want to bet that happened on June 6th? The same day Andy died?” Brian asked.

 

A chill went up Rena’s spine.

 

Andy just stood there watching Brian. His own thoughts were sorting through this information.

 

“Hey Jen, it’s me. I’ve seen Justin. He’s fine, but he still doesn’t remember anything.” Brian said. He knew Jennifer was waiting to hear from him.

 

When she’d heard her son was missing, she immediately flew to France. Originally she wanted to help in the search but decided that Justin would want her to take over his class for him. He wouldn’t want his students denied this opportunity to have their work shown. So Jennifer and Lizzy stood behind at the Chateau and took over his class, and brokered their exhibits. She trusted Brian to find her son, and bring him home. He had called her every day of the search, keeping her abreast of their progress.

 

Jennifer heaved a big sigh of relief. “Well thank God he’s alive! Other than his memory, how is he, really?” Jennifer asked.

 

“His leg is broken, and he has some cuts and bruises, but other than that, he’s healthy.” Brian assured her.

 

Jennifer sent up a silent prayer of thanks.

 

“Listen Jennifer, I have to ask you something. Justin told me that when he was two, he almost died.” Brian started.

 

“Oh God, yes! I was so scared! We thought for sure we were going to lose him. The doctor said he was legally dead for 3 minutes! 3 minutes Brian! Do you know how long that is to a mother?” Jennifer asked, reliving that horrid day in her mind.

 

“I can only imagine, having children of my own. I shudder to think what I would do.” Brian empathized.

 

“Do you remember what day that was?” He asked.

 

Jennifer thought the question odd but answered him. “Of course I do. They called a code blue at 2:05 a.m., June 6th, 1983. I’ll never forget that awful night.” She said.

 

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a low sob.

 

“Thanks Mother Taylor. I promise to bring Justin home as soon as possible.” He said, his voice cracking

 

“I know you will Brian. Please give my son my love.” She replied.

 

“I will.” Brian said.

 

Andy and Rena looked at him expectantly when he shut his cell.

 

“Well?!” They both asked at the same time.

 

“Justin technically died the exact same moment Andy died.” He said.

 

 

***********************************

 

 

Brian looked up at the clock that hung askew on the pitted wooden wall of the cabin.

 

2:45 a.m.

 

He swirled the brown liquid left in the bottom of his glass before swigging it down in one shot.

 

Good old James he thought. He left Brian with all the necessities he needed to survive his stay in this God-awful cabin.

 

A carton of cigarettes and two bottles of Beam.

 

It would sustain him for one night, maybe two if he stretched it. With any luck he wouldn’t be here that long. He needed to get Justin home as soon as possible.

 

But since he did have to be here, he was at least grateful that he was currently residing with in the cabin, and not camping outside.

 

Ironically, he owed this little bit of luxury to his partner’s ‘wife’.

 

He barked a bitter laugh out to the empty room and refilled his glass.

 

It had been one hell of a day.

 

No sooner had Justin calmed down, Adeline showed up. He had to admit though, she took the news of her husbands’ ‘other family’ better than he expected. She welcomed them and thanked them for taking care of her ‘beloved’ all those years they were parted. She even told them they could come and visit anytime.

 

Her generosity however was short lived when Justin invited Andy to stay with them. Brian thought she was going to have a coronary at the idea. She’d been alone for so long, she didn’t want anyone but her ‘husband’ staying in her cabin.

 

He had to hand it to Sunshine though. He stood his ground and insisted that Andy stay. She eventually caved to his wishes and surprisingly, extended the invitation to Brian.

 

Apparently, Justin told Adeline that he believed Brian and Andy were lovers. The little shit lied. He knew it and Justin knew it. The look they exchanged at his impromptu fabrication told Brian that Justin used the lie to get Brian to stay. It was the first bit of good news he had all day.

 

Justin wanted him.

 

His little lie prompted Adeline to extend the invitation to him stating she knew first hand how devastating it was to be parted from the one you loved. She offered them the spare bedroom. Justin thought it a magnanimous gesture on his ‘wife’s part. Brian however thought her gesture anything but.

 

Adeline let him stay because she felt Andy was a threat, and Brian was the one person who could keep Andy away from her husband. It bothered her just as much as it bothered him that Justin remembered Andy and not her. Though he had reason to be bothered by it. Justin was HIS partner, not her husband!

 

The woman was pathetically deranged and the quicker Brian got Justin away from her, the better.

 

How to extract Justin from this madhouse was the question. And the answer he feared was not at the bottom of his whiskey glass as he had hoped.

 

Justin was proving more difficult then he anticipated. He thought he’d be more vulnerable, having no memory, and thereby be more amenable to letting others guide him. But not his Sunshine. Memory or not, he was taking charge of his life. He was calling the shots and there wasn’t a damn thing Brian could do about it.

 

The situation was frustrating and exhausting. On top of it all, there was the mystery of Andy and Justin’s connection. Andy had asked Gabriel if there was one, and Gabriel confirmed there was, but he would not elaborate. Apparently, there was more to Andy’s mission here on earth then helping to bring Brian and Justin’s souls together again. And it had something to do with Andy and Justin.

Andy was feeling lost, confused, and guilty thinking that he had something to do with all the tragedies that have befallen Justin his entire life. Brian spent half the night reassuring Andy that he was not to blame; though he wasn’t entirely sure that was true but he knew one thing, he loved Andy and Justin with all of his heart. HIS soul was connected to both of theirs, so what ever there was between Andy and Justin, it affected him as well.

 

They all had suffered. Andy’s horrible death, and his time in purgatory, Justin’s near death experiences, his own abuse and tortured life, were all connected somehow. He had to find answers if any of them were ever to have peace, in this lifetime or any other.

 _….Seek the lineage…_

Brian sat up abruptly at the strange voice in his head.

 

“What the fuck?” He said out loud to the empty room.

 

No answer.

 

Brian looked at the bottom of his empty glass. He didn’t remember finishing it. Perhaps it was time he tried to get some sleep.

 

He put the empty glass down on the scarred coffee table and was about to leave it, but thought twice and picked up the bottle of Beam sitting next to it thinking one last shot wasn’t going to hurt.

 

“Why bother with the glass at all?”

 

Brian’s eyes snapped up at the sound of Justin’s voice.

 

Justin stood there looking so fucking beautiful it broke his heart. All night he’d been avoiding him. He stayed outside most the time, only coming in when Andy told him Justin had retired for the night.

 

He couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him and not touch him.

 

Justin used the crutches Adeline had brought back with her, part of the supplies Gilles had sent her to town to get earlier, and hobbled over to the couch to sit down. He laid the crutches to his side and faced Brian, who was seated in the armchair opposite him.

 

Brian just stared at him, holding his breath. God he wanted him.

 

“Well? Are you going to offer me some?” He asked.

 

Brian blinked twice misunderstanding Justin’s request. He smiled sexily then reached over to pour Justin a glass of the whiskey.

 

Justin’s breath caught in the back of his throat at the smoldering look on Brian’s face. Fuck he needed that drink!

 

So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours; Justin’s head was swimming. Though he still had no memory, he discovered two things today.

 

One, he was connected to the boy they called ‘Jason’, who he knew as Andy, in a way he couldn’t explain.

 

And two, he was gay.

 

Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprising, he wasn’t shocked by that revelation. He pretty much knew he was. And the way his body responded to Brian confirmed his suspicions.

 

What did surprise him however was how strong the attraction was. He could almost understand why he ran off with him to begin with. Almost. He still couldn’t believe he’d do that to Adeline. Or why he married her in the first place.

 

He had no answers, but he knew with a certainty that his attraction to Brian went beyond sexual. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt it. That place deep down, the place where he’d been trying unsuccessfully to tap into, held the secret to why he felt this overwhelming need to do anything, to be anything, for this man.

 

He laid in his bed tonight for hours, willing himself not to go to him, defying his own natural urges as best he could but in the end, they won out.

 

And that scared the shit out of him.

 

He had no control over his body’s urges, and right now, he needed control more than anything else. His whole life was spinning out of control. Until he got his memory back, and that’s assuming it would come back, he needed to keep his distance from Brian Kinney for if he didn’t, he knew with a certainty that he would lose what little of himself he had left to him.

 

“Did you take pain medication tonight?” Brian asked breaking into Justin’s thoughts.

 

“What are you, my mother?” Justin retorted more sharply then he intended.

 

Brian raised his eyebrow.

 

“No, now answer the question.” Brian asked again, opting to ignore Justin’s outburst.

 

He knew how hard today must have been on him, yet he refused to give Justin any alcohol if he was on meds.

 

“No.” Justin replied contritely. He was sorry he snapped at Brian, it was a legitimate concern.

 

He held his hand out for the glass.

 

Brian nodded his head, satisfied with Justin’s answer and handed the glass to him.

 

“Do you feel better?” He asked.

 

Justin took a sip of the dark liquid and was grateful for the burn. It took his mind off of all the questions he had whirling around in his head.

 

“Define better.” Justin countered.

 

“Well, better now that you know.” Brian said.

 

Justin knew exactly what Brian was referring to.

 

“What? Am I suppose to feel better knowing I’m gay?” He asked sarcastically.

 

“Not unless you act on it. I can guarantee you that will make you feel better.” Brian returned lustily.

 

Justin’s heart leapt in his throat. He put his glass down, his gaze remained fixed on the coffee table in front of him.

 

“You can’t have me.” He said in a low voice.

 

Brian laughed. A reaction Justin wasn’t expecting.

 

“And you said that with a straight face too. Though I’m not surprised, it’s not the only part of you that’s pretending to be straight.” Brian said.

 

Justin’s eyes snapped to his.

 

“How dare you!” He sputtered.

 

Brian leaned over the table so that their faces were very close to each other’s.

 

Justin’s pride took over, he refused to back away.

 

Brian smiled in appreciation.

 

“No, how dare YOU!?” Brian all but roared.

 

Justin winched a bit, but did not retreat.

 

“You’re drunk.” Justin said in answer to Brian’s outburst. In truth, he had no answer. He wasn’t quite sure what Brian was talking about.

 

“True, but at least I’m honest. Losing your memory is no fucking excuse to lie.” Brian admonished.

 

Justin’s jaw dropped open.

 

Brian looked at his open mouth and grew painfully hard.

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Justin demanded angrily.

 

Brian held his gaze, lost to fire in them. God he loved it when his blonde got this way.

 

“I am talking about that little lie you told Adeline about me and Andy. You know full fucking well we’re not lovers!” Brian accused.

 

“Well it was the only way I could get Adeline to let you stay here!” Justin spat out with out thinking.

 

Brian smiled.

 

“Well at least that’s an honest reply. Now tell me why DID you want me to stay here?” He asked.

 

Justin’s head jerked back. Now there was a question he wasn’t ready to answer.

 

Brian sat back down in his chair and sneered at him.

 

“Seems losing your memory has turned you into a coward.” He taunted.

 

If he knew anything about his boy it was that when pushed, Justin always reacted impulsively, from the gut, forgoing logic. That was his nature.

 

Justin’s reaction came swift and hard.

 

He reached over the coffee table and grabbed Brian by the front of his shirt pulling him forward so that their noses were almost touching.

 

He held his gaze, his eyes smoldering for all of three seconds before he brought his mouth down violently over Brian’s.

 

Brian’s instincts took over and he kissed him back just as passionately.

 

Their tongues dueled, each fighting for control. Spit mingled with spit as they devoured each other thoroughly.

 

Brian knew so much rode on this kiss. He wanted Justin to understand just how much he needed him. How much they needed each other. He spoke volumes to him with this kiss; it was after all, how they communicated best.

 

And he wasn’t mistaken. Justin heard every word spoken in their kiss; he just couldn’t accept what he was hearing. He wasn’t ready to hear it.

 

Just when Brian felt Justin begin to yield to him, he abruptly pulled away, yet he kept his hold on Brian’s shirt.

 

Panting heavily, Justin closed his eyes and bit his lower lip until he tasted blood in an attempt to still his lust.

 

Brian watched mesmerized by sight of his lover. He darted his tongue out and licked the wounded flesh savoring the coppery taste of his lovers' blood.

 

Justin moaned and leaned into Brian and kissed him again, only this time, the kiss was more sensual, not as violent. Justin took his time in learning Brian’s taste. The way his lips felt over his own, the way his tongue scraped against his teeth, the taste of him, and the smell of him were all like little treasures he was discovering for the first time.

 

He branded it to memory and this was one memory he was determined to keep.

 

He went on kissing him until he couldn’t distinguish his own taste and smell from that of Brian’s…

 

'I’m losing myself in him…' Justin brain suddenly rebelled.

 

Fear gripped him, and with a strength he found from only God knows where, Justin managed to break the kiss and pull away from Brian.

 

His lips were red and swollen, his eyes glazed over with lust.

 

Brian was not ready to let him go, he reached out for him, desperate to keep the contact.

 

Justin was just as desperate to break it. He put his hand on Brian’s chest and pushed him back.

 

“That’s why I asked you to stay.” He said breathlessly, answering Brian’s earlier question.

 

“And it’s why you have to leave.” He said.

 

He turned from Brian to picked up his crutches, but not quick enough for Brian not to see the tear rolling down his cheek.

 

Brian’s heart broke. He wanted to reach out to him, to beg him not to leave, but knew he pushed him too far already.

 

He watched with agonizing pain as Justin hobbled back to his room.

 

He waited untill Justin shut the door behind him before he let his own tears fall.


	11. Breaking the Silence

**“Lying is done with words, and also with silence.”**

 **~ Adrienne Rich**

 

 

“You know that’s strangely erotic.” Brian said as he watched Adeline milk the cow.

 

“Too bad Betsy doesn’t think so.” She replied smiling up at him from her perched seat on the overturned milk bucket.

 

Her smile faded when she saw the dark circles under his eyes.

 

“Bad night?” She asked with genuine concern.

 

Brian pushed his tongue into the side of his cheek and contemplated the woman sitting before him.

 

She was a paradox to be sure. She was by nature a loving, caring person. Brian sensed no malice in her. She truly believed Justin was her long lost husband, and her deep affection for him was genuine.

 

However she had to know on some level that Justin wasn’t Jacques, and that he had a family of his own. Yet she was selfish in her desires and refused to let that knowledge deter her from her goal. Perhaps she just couldn’t take another loss. Brian sympathized with her, but his first concern was Justin. He had his own family, and they needed him more than she needed her delusion fed.

 

“I’ve had better.” He answered crouching down beside her.

 

Adeline felt uncomfortable at his nearness and shifted a bit on the bucket.

 

“Um, do you always rise this early?” She asked.

 

“Usually.” Brian answered. He knew she was attempting polite conversation, but Brian wasn’t in the mood for idle chatter, he was on a mission.

 

“Tell me Adeline, do Jacques parents know Jacque is alive?” Brian asked.

 

Adeline’s hands stilled on the cows utter.

 

James had brought some information, along with the cigarettes and booze, with him last night about Adeline and Jacques. Adeline had no living relatives; Jacques however had a mother and father who were still alive and residing just outside Paris. They hadn’t seen their daughter-in-law since the day she gave birth to their stillborn grandson. According to Gilles, who delivered the baby, they stayed long enough to bury the baby then left Adeline alone, along with enough money to wash away their guilt, and never contacted her again.

 

It was a cruel heartless thing to do, and he could understand why Adeline didn’t want any part of them. Still, if she truly believed Justin was Jacques, she would have contacted them. It just wasn’t in her nature to be intentionally cruel.

 

“Adeline?” Brian prompted for an answer.

 

She turned tearful eyes to him. “No, and I don’t want them to know. They’ll steal him away from me, just like they stole my baby. Please don’t tell them!” She pleaded in a shaky, fearful voice.

 

Brian’s heart filled with pity, which of course, made his dick soft.

 

“Fuck.” He cursed then put a soothing hand on her shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell them. I promise. But I need you to help me with something.” Brian said.

 

Adeline swiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

 

“What?” She asked.

 

“Jus…Jacques needs to go to the hospital Adeline. He needs to have that leg x-rayed and he needs a cat scan. What if there’s bleeding in his brain? Do you want to risk that?” He asked hoping her affection and concern for ‘Jacques’ would overrule her own emotional needs.

 

Adeline’s eyes widen at that possibility. She never considered it.

 

“He would be sick if that were true, wouldn’t he? I mean wouldn’t he be dizzy, have headaches, some symptoms?” she asked anxiously.

 

Brian sighed. “I don’t know, but I don’t think you should risk not having him checked out. You could lose him again. Permanently this time.” Brian reasoned.

 

Adeline’s chest rose and fell rapidly in her agitation.

 

“They’ll take him away from me. I know they will!” She said through the tears that were now falling freely down her face.

 

Brian stood up and pulled Adeline up with him. He embraced her and patted her back soothingly, as if calming a distraught child.

 

“Shhhh..... I would never let that happen. I think you know that.” Brian said.

 

Adeline hiccupped against Brian’s shoulder and wept some more. It felt so good to be held and consoled. She never had that luxury. Not since Jacques disappeared.

 

“I promise you, no one is going to lock your husband away. Can you imagine anyone even trying? He’d have their balls. Trust me, no one can force him to do something he doesn’t want to. He’s as stubborn as a mule.” Brian teased.

 

Adeline laughed through her tears.

 

“He is that. You know he never use to be.” She said in a conspiratorial voice.

 

“Really? Do tell.” Brian countered with one raised eyebrow. He sensed an opportunity to gain her trust. Something he needed to obtain his goal.

 

“Don’t get me wrong, when he put his mind to something, nothing could stop him. Like when he turned his back on his family and his inheritance to marry me. I couldn’t believe he did that for me. For me…” She repeated as if still floored her that he sacrificed so much for her.

 

“But he never did anything impulsively. He made sure we had this cabin and the means to survive before he made his decision to forego his inheritance. He was always so level headed. He thought before he acted and he never got flustered, or angry. Now, well now he’s just so unpredictable! He’s changed..” She whispered sadly.

 

Brian held her at arms length and studied her.

 

“Yes he has. It’s good that you see that.” He said.

 

“So you will help me convince our unpredictable friend to go to the hospital for some tests?” Brian asked giving Adeline one of his winning smiles.

 

Adeline nodded her head.

 

“I think you are right, it’s best.” She admitted reluctantly.

 

Brian tilted his head and pushed just a little further.

 

“I have another request.” He said.

 

Adeline looked up at him and waited.

 

“I want you to get checked out as well.” He said.

 

Adeline pulled away from him angrily.

 

“There is NOTHING wrong with me!” She shouted.

 

“How do you know? Have you seen a doctor in the past five years?” He asked.

 

“No, I’ve no reason. I’m FINE!” She turned her back on him.

 

Brian reached out for her and spun her around to face him.

 

“Listen to me Adeline, are you listening?” He asked.

 

Adeline stiffened her body and narrowed her eyes but she relented.

 

“Yes, I’m listening.” She said.

 

“You should do this for Jacques! Don’t you think he deserves a healthy wife? I’m not talking about seeing a shrink. I’m talking about simple blood work, and female stuff. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. A woman needs certain care and you’ve not been taking care of yourself. I think if you told Jacques you hadn’t been to a doctor in five years, he’d insist you go get checked. He cares about you.” Brian tried to reason with her.

 

If he could get her in for a complete physical, it would open the door to future medical evaluations and care. The woman really did need help.

 

Adeline heard his words and had to admit he had a point. She hadn’t taken as good of care of herself as she could have. What if Jacques wanted another baby? She had to make sure she was fit enough to carry another child. Still, she didn’t want anyone touching her. She hated the idea of having a stranger examine her. Deep down, she feared what they would find.

 

“I’ll think about it.” She finally said.

 

Brian accepted her answer. He pushed enough for one day. He felt he made progress.

 

“Well then, tell me how I can help you?” He said releasing her and eyeing the cow with a repugnant look on his face.

 

Adeline laughed at his expression.

 

“It looks like you haven’t done much farm work in awhile.” She said.

 

“Try never.” Brian corrected.

 

“Tell you what, why don’t you go inside and make coffee and eggs for our guest. I’ll handle the outside work.” She suggested.

 

Brian heaved a deep dramatic sigh of relief that was worthy of an Oscar.

 

“Now that I think I can handle.” He said.

 

Adeline laughed.

 

He bent down and gave Adeline a friendly peck on the cheek before sauntering off.

 

Adeline blushed at his actions then went back to her morning chores.

 

Perhaps she had an ally in Mr. Kinney, she thought. Though she didn’t know how she felt about that. Adeline never had a friend.

 

*************************************************

 

Justin woke to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. He looked over at the clock on his nightstand and frowned. It was still early. Adeline never came back from her morning chores before 7 a.m.

 

He swung his legs over the bed, grabbed his crutches, and went into the bathroom to wash up. God he felt awful.

 

If he slept an hour, he was lucky. The incident with Brian last night still hung heavy in his mind, and apparently, other parts of his body.

 

Justin reached down and squeezed his jutting member almost painfully. Morning hard-ons were never this aching, or this demanding. He needed relief, and quick.

 

He stood in front of the mirror and furiously stroked his throbbing cock. His head fell back and a soft moan escaped his lips as visions of the hot Adonis filled his brain.

 

He could almost feel the velvety roughness of Brian's tongue glide over his pulsing member with each stroke. His breath quicken as his climax neared, and visions of hot sweaty bodies joined together exploded in his brain as his seed spilled forth.

 

Justin collapsed against the sink, shaking and spent. His orgasm was excruciatingly intense and just from thinking about sex with Brian! He couldn’t even image what the reality of fucking him would be like. Surely it would kill him.

 

Once his breathing calmed, he opened his eyes to find a flushed, well-satisfied face staring back at him in the mirror. Instant shame consumed him. He ran the cold water and splashed his face with it.

 

“Damn it!” He cursed gripping the edge of the sink.

 

“I’ve got to get control back.” He hissed through gritted teeth to the empty bathroom.

 

He pulled himself together, brushed his teeth, and gave his body a thorough scrubbing.

 

He had to get the smell of Brian off him. Unfortunately his efforts were futile; it became painfully obvious that all the soap in the world couldn’t erase his scent. It was now forever etched into his brain.

 

Sometime later he emerged to find the source of his shame standing in the kitchen whisking up some eggs in a bowl.

 

Brian looked up the moment he felt Justin enter the room. He sent him a brilliant smile that belied the tense coiled feeling of panic that seized his stomach. They hadn’t parted on particularly good terms last night.

 

“Good morning Sunshine.” He said a little too cheerily.

 

'Does he have to look so fucking good in the morning?' Justin’s brain complained.

 

“Good morning. And don’t call me Sunshine.” He responded in a voice that he hoped sounded indifferent.

 

“Hmmm.. Apparently not so good.” Brian remarked.

 

Justin’s eyes scanned the room, searching. His heart raced.

 

“Where’s Andy?” He asked, the anxiety thick in his voice.

 

Brian’s lips tightened. He put the bowl of eggs down and stalked towards him.

 

He grabbed Justin by his arm and turned him towards the guest bedroom and guided him to it.

 

Justin hobbled over as quickly as his crutches would take him.

 

Once they got to the bedroom door, Brian swung it open to reveal a sleeping Andy.

 

“Happy now?” He bit out caustically.

 

Justin let out a big sigh of relief.

 

Brian shut the door and turned to Justin.

 

“You’re so fucking worried he’s going to leave you, yet you could give a shit if I’m here or not!” Brian spat out hurt and angry.

 

“Maybe that’s because I know you won’t leave me.” Justin shot back without thinking.

 

Brian’s eyebrow rose at that declaration.

 

“And how do you know that?” He asked cautiously.

 

“Don’t ask me questions I can’t answer. I just know.” Justin said then made his way back to the kitchen. He could kick himself for letting that out.

 

Brian followed him feeling a little better. It was another small, good sign.

 

He picked up his bowl of eggs and started whisking again.

 

“Fair enough. So tell me why are you so afraid Andy is going to leave?” Brian pressed. Maybe Justin had answers, even if he didn’t know what they meant.

 

Justin shrugged. “Again, it’s just a feeling, but…” He trailed off.

 

“But what?” Brian asked.

 

“It’s going to sound stupid.” Justin said.

 

“Well that’ll be a first.” Brian teased sarcastically.

 

“Ha, ha. Very funny. And you’re so smart?” He returned.

 

“Obviously not. I’m still here.” He said with a sly smile.

 

Justin blushed.

 

“Come on, tell me. It might help trigger something in your memory.” Brian said.

 

“Ok, but don’t blame me if this sounds crazy, but I have this feeling of unfinished business with Andy. Something bad happened, or will happen if he leaves again.” Justin confessed.

 

Brian put the bowl down and looked at Justin intently. His blonde was on to something. Bad things have happened to both of them, and continued to happen to Justin after Andy died. But what unfinished business could they have? And what did he mean by ‘leaves again’? They never met, not in this lifetime anyway.

 

Could Justin and Andy have a past life connection? With current events as they were, it was a very reasonable assumption.

 _…Seek the lineage…_

The strange voice in his head was back.

 

“Ok, I get it. Can you play a different tune now?” Brian said out loud to the voice in his head.

 

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Justin asked.

 

It was Brian’s turn to blush. “Sorry, that wasn’t meant for you.” He said.

 

“And I’m supposed to be the crazy one!” Justin said shaking his head.

 

Brian laughed.

"Yeah well crazy is a relative term. As for Andy, I don't think he'll be going anywhere soon. Not at least untill we can figure all this out." Brian tried to reassure Justin.

 

“In he meantime I’d like to talk to you about Adeline.” He said.

 

Justin furrowed his brow. “What about Adeline?” He asked.

 

“Did you know she hasn’t been to a doctor in five years? You know that can’t be good. Gilles said she’s had a rough time of it since you disappeared, she should get a physical, you know, to make sure she’s ok. Stress can cause all sorts of problems. High blood pressure, depression, changes in blood sugar levels…”

 

“What the fuck! Oh that’s going to change right now! I’m going to call Gilles and set up an appointment for her.” Justin said.

 

Brian smiled to himself. He knew Justin would react this way.

 

“She won’t go. I tried to convince her she should, but she pretty much blew me off.” Brian said.

 

“Yeah well I’m her husband, she’ll listen to me.” Justin said confidently.

 

Brian cringed at Justin’s comfortable use of the word 'husband'. But he couldn’t let his emotions over rule his logic. He had to deal with his current situation objectively.

 

‘Good luck with that Kinney.’ His mind mocked.

 

‘Shut the fuck up. I can handle this.'

 

Great, now he was talking to himself. He might as well set up an appointment to get checked himself. Better yet, just have himself thrown in the Looney bin. It had to be a saner place then where he was now.

 

He shook his wayward thoughts away and concentrated on the task on hand.

 

“She’s afraid of doctors and hospitals. It’s why she doesn’t want you to go. You know, I bet if you agreed to go get check out, she might do the same.” Brian said nonchalantly as he poured the whipped eggs into the hot frying pan.

 

Justin’s anger cooled a bit and he sat at the kitchen table and eyed Brian suspiciously.

 

“You just set me up, didn’t you?” He asked, not able to hide the admiration in his voice.

 

Brian shrugged. “So what if I did? Does it change the fact that both of you need medical attention?” He countered.

 

Justin couldn’t argue with that.

 

“No, it doesn’t. I’ll make the appointments.” He conceded.

 

“Good. Now that, that’s settled, let’s eat.” Brian said.

 

He scooped the scrambled eggs out of the frying pan onto two dishes. He brought them to the table, then went back and got two cups of coffee for them.

 

They sat and ate their breakfast in comfortable silence.

 

Another, small good sign Brian thought.

 

Justin broke the silence with a question. One Brian never saw coming.

 

“Am I the top, or the bottom?”

 

Brian nearly choked on his coffee.

 

“Well we could throw Andy out of the guest bedroom and find out if you like.” Brian suggested seductively.

 

Justin made a haughty face.

 

“Don’t be absurd. Adeline will be back any minute.” He said then put his fork down.

 

Brian noticed he didn’t dismiss the idea entirely. He just excused why they couldn’t do that at the moment. Oh yeah, lots of good signs this morning he thought.

 

“Jesus, am I bisexual?” Justin suddenly asked.

 

“Only you can answer that. Do you feel like fucking Adeline?” Brian asked a little too caustically.

 

“Do you have to be so crude! Show some respect, this is my wife you’re talking about. If you can’t respect that, at least respect the fact that she saved my life!” Justin spat out angrily.

 

“I do respect the fact she saved your life. I was just never good at beating around the bush. I like the direct approach. The FACT is, you want to fuck me and I want to fuck you. My question is do you want to fuck Adeline too?” He asked.

 

Justin’s face flamed at Brian’s words, though he couldn’t deny them. He did want to fuck him. Didn’t mean he was going to. He was however, not about to let Mr. Kinney intimidate him.

 

“Well I must have fucked her at one point.” He reasoned.

 

“Maybe not.” Brian said.

 

“You forget, she was pregnant when I disappeared.” Justin said, his mood growing somber.

 

“Whose to say it was yours?” Brian said.

 

He knew he was being cruel, but he couldn’t lie to Justin. And keeping silent was just as bad as lying. At some point, Justin was going to know the truth. Brian wasn’t going to continue to feed into the lie he was currently living.

 

Justin’s jaw dropped open at Brian’s words.

 

“You really are an insufferable asshole aren’t you?” He accused.

 

“Perhaps, but like I pointed out last night, at least I’m honest. It’s a fair enough question. All you know is what Adeline told you. You have no other frame of reference to your life before waking up on that river bank.” Brian said.

 

“And all you know is who I was for the past five years!” Justin returned.

 

“I’ve known you since you were seventeen.” Brian threw that fact out and waited for Justin reaction.

 

Justin’s eyes grew wide with shock.

 

“How?” Justin whispered, his face growing pale.

 

“Fuck.” Brian cursed under his breath. He just couldn’t help himself. He had to rush things. By the look on Justin’s face, that little bit of information threw him, big time.

 

“It’s best if you remember on your own. The doctor said so. Just give it time. It will come.” Brian said trying to diffuse Justin from pressing on. It was too much, too soon.

 

He should have known better.

 

“NO! Tell me now!” Justin demanded.

 

Brian narrowed his eyes trying to decide if Justin was ready to hear the truth.

 

Justin saw the indecision in Brian’s eyes. He pounded his fist on the table in frustration.

 

“God damn it Brian! I’m not fucking stupid! I know we have history, why don’t you just fucking tell me! What are you afraid of?” Justin demanded.

 

“I’m scared shitless you won’t be able to handle the truth!” Brian yelled back at him.

 

Justin leaned over the table and dared Brian with his eyes.

 

“Try me.” He challenged.

 

“Fine. You were just seventeen when I took your virginity. We’ve been lovers ever since.” Brian blurted out.

 

Justin sat back, his face white with shock.

 

“Does Adeline know?” He asked.

 

Brian let out a bitter laugh.

 

“You have no idea how little Adeline knows. Come on Justin, you must sense she’s not a well woman.” He said.

 

Justin narrowed his eyes.

 

“She was well enough save my life.” Justin defended.

 

“Yes, she did. And believe me, we are all grateful to her for that. But we’re also very concerned about her state of mind.” Brian informed him.

 

“What do you mean?” Justin asked.

 

A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. He instinctively knew his whole life was once again about to spin out of control.

 

Brian held his breath. He had to tread carefully here.

 

“I mean, her memory is not dependable. She’s been grieving for five years over her dead husband.” Brian stated.

 

“But I’m not dead.” Justin replied.

 

Brian held Justin’s gaze for a long moment, weighing his next words very carefully.

 

“You’re also not her husband.” He said.


	12. Do I Move You

**“Do I move you, are you willin’  
Do I groove you, is it thrillin’  
Do I soothe you, tell the truth now  
Do I move you, are you loose now  
The answer better be (yes, yes)  
That pleases me”**

 **~ Do I move you? By Nina Simone**

 

“That little shit threw me out!” Brian roared as he paced back and forth in front of his sister.

Rena sighed. “Why do I get the feeling of déjà vu?” She said.

Brian stopped and glared at her. “Yeah, well this time is different! I didn’t deserve it!” Brian huffed.

“Didn’t you? Jesus Brian what the fuck did you expect?! You pushed too hard. You always fucking do!” Rena retorted.

“Does anyone besides me find humor in this situation?” Jagger asked from his position near the bar in Rena’s hotel suite.

A chorus of “No’s!” fell over him.

He cringed and went to pour himself a drink.

“That’s it. This charade has gone on long enough! James, what do I have do to get power of attorney over Justin?” He asked.

James, along with Emmett, Peter, Jagger, and Corrine were currently in Rena’s suite, having heard through the family grapevine the altercation between Brian and Justin.

When Brian dropped that little bomb on Justin, telling him he wasn’t Adeline’s husband, Justin freaked on him. He accused him of lying. He insisted Adeline wouldn’t lie about such a thing. Brian tried to explain to Justin that Adeline wasn’t lying, she was just delusional, to which Justin replied he was the delusional one if he thought that he would abandon Adeline again, especially since she was the reason he was alive today.

It just got worse from there. It turned into a screaming match, which woke Andy up. Andy tried to intervene but was shut down. Brian went a bit too far, as is his habit when angry or scared, which he was both at the time, and called Justin a stubborn spoiled brat and threatened to take him away from the cabin by force if he had to.

That’s when Justin threw him out. Brian wouldn’t have left if it weren’t for Andy. Andy managed to convince him to leave, at least for a while, until Justin calmed down. Brian stormed out of the cabin, cursing both his brother and Justin and called James to come get him.

They passed Adeline coming back from her morning chores as they sped away in the black sedan towards the hotel to where Rena and the others were staying. The confused, hurt look on her face was still fresh in his memory.

“First you would have to drag him in front of a judge and have him declared mentally incompetent.” James answered.

“Geesh Dad, you can’t do that!” Peter objected.

“Don’t worry Peter. Dad won’t risk that. The judge just might declare him mentally incompetent.” Jagger quipped.

Brian sent him a deadly stare.

“Don’t you have a concert to play somewhere?” Brian threw at his son.

“Cancelled my Paris show. Family emergency you know.” Jagger said.

“Well emergency is over. Get your ass back to work.” Brian chided.

Jagger sent him a contrived hurt look.

“Don’t take your frustration out on Jag. This whole situation is your fault. If you’d just listen to Gilles and Corrine and been patient, yes, I know that’s a foreign word to you, this wouldn’t have happened.” Rena asserted.

“I hate to say it Mr. Kinney, but I warned you of this very scenario. Now it will be harder then ever to get the little trust you did manage to gain with Justin, back.” Corrine predicted.

Brian snarled at her. He felt cornered. He was damned if he did, and damned if he didn’t. There seemed to be no good solution to his current situation. He just had to figure out which path would cause the least damage and take that one.

“Hey Red, how about you showing me some trust and have dinner with me?” Jagger asked Corrine.

Corrine rolled her eyes. The kid had no sense of timing. His family was in the middle of a crisis, and all he could think about was… well, if she was honest, the same thing she thought about every time she looked at him. She had to keep reminding herself that she was eleven years older than him.

“Shut up. I’m nearly old enough to be your mother!” She reprimanded.

“So I’ll call you mommy if it turns you on.” Jagger retorted.

Emmett slapped him upside the head.

“Ouch! What was that for?” Jagger asked half laughing. Emmett never could manage a decent slap upside the head. Now Deb, well that woman could land a whopper.

“That’s for being too much like your Dad. Now shut up. Your father is on the verge of a major queen out.” He said.

“Should we remove the breakables?” Jagger asked.

Emmett pursed his lips in consideration when a knock came to the door.

“I’ll get it.” James said who was closest to the door.

“It’s probably Nicco. I told him to come by with the guys. We’re going to jam in the hotel lounge tonight. The owner is so thrilled he’s comping us our entire stay.” Jagger said.

Corrine threw him a sly look. She was well aware of the popularity of Jaggers’ band, “No apologies, no regrets.” And of Jagger’s own popularity. All the nurses at the hospital were in love with him. They all had tickets to his concert. Hearts were going to break over the cancellation of his show. She made a mental note to call them to let them know he was holding a jam session at the hotel tonight.

James went to open the door.

“Well, it’s not Nicco. Brian, Justin is here.” James called out.

Everyone’s head snapped around towards the door. James stood aside to let Justin in. Jason followed behind him.

Brian stood his ground and glared at Justin, his anger evident in his stance. He was soo going to make him pay for all the aggravation he’s caused him once his memory returns.

Emmett was the first to react. He had yet to see Justin. Only Brian, Rena and Jason actually got introductions. It was decided only a few family members would be introduced at one time so not to overwhelm Justin.

“Oh baby! Look at you!” He said and ran over to embrace Justin.

Justin was taken aback by the overtly demonstrative greeting. He let himself be engulfed by the weeping man.

“I’m ok, really.” He found himself consoling the taller man as he patted his back.

Emmett stepped back and fanned his face.

“We were all so worried about you!” Emmett cried.

“I’m sorry to have worried you. And you are?” Justin asked, a little embarrassed at the situation. These people obviously knew him. He felt guilty not sharing their sentiments.

Emmett quickly composed himself. And looked over at Brian for guidance. He didn’t know how he should answer Justin.

Brian lifted one corner of his mouth in a mocking smile.

“Justin, this is Auntie Em. A close personal friend of ours.” Brian facetiously made the introduction.

Emmett threw Brian a scolding look at being introduced as “Auntie Em”; an endearment only used by the children, but blushed in spite of himself at the compliment he knew it was meant be.

“Well it’s my pleasure Auntie Em.” Justin said and graced Emmett with one of his Sunshine smiles.

Emmett started crying again.

“Ok Auntie, Em, let’s give DJ some air.” Jagger said coming up behind Emmett and dragging him back from Justin.

Justin studied the handsome younger man for a moment than turned his eyes to Brian.

“Your son?” He asked. The resemblance was remarkable.

“Adopted son, blood cousin.” Brian answered.

Jagger stepped forward and gave Justin a quick hug.

“Nice to have you back DJ. Dad’s been freaking out ever since you disappeared.” He said.

“DJ? Just how many names do I have?” Justin asked.

“You and I adopted him together. He calls you DJ. Short for Daddy Justin.” Brian explained.

He had a son?

Justin felt faint at that announcement. Corrine caught the look and rushed to him.

“Come, sit. Jagger get him some water.” Corrine instructed as she helped Justin make his way to the couch. He sat down and laid his crutches up against the coffee table.

Brian immediately went and knelt in front of him.

“Don’t.” He said.

“You can handle this.” He stated firmly.

Justin looked into his eyes for strength and found it.

He took one big fortifying breath and nodded his head.

“Here DJ, drink this.” Jagger said handing the glass to Justin.

Justin took it and gulped it down, then swiftly spit it out.

“It’s fucking vodka!” He sputtered.

Brian groaned.

Corrine slapped Jagger this time.

Jagger shrugged and winked at her.

“I figured he could use something stronger.” He excused.

“Tell me, why did we agree to adopt him?” Justin asked.

Brian laughed.

“It was one of our most charitable deeds. Would you wish that on anyone?” Brian teased.

Jagger put his hand over his heart and groaned.

“To the quick!” He whined.

Justin laughed.

“As long a he doesn’t have a twin, I think I can survive.” Justin teased back.

Brian thought for a split second to tell Justin about their biological twins, Andy and Maria, but decided against it. His blonde was on overload as it was.

He stood up and introduced the rest of the people in the room.

It was a bit overwhelming, but Justin managed to take it all in with out freaking out. Though when he was introduced to his other adopted son, Peter, Justin reconsidered and did take that drink Jagger tried to give him before.

He felt so detached from everyone yet a small part of him couldn’t help but take pride in the knowledge that he had something to do with raising these boys. Barring Jagger’s mischievous personality, Peter and he were fine young men. Obviously Brian was a good parent. He hoped he was also a good parent.

Brian explained that they had a big family, that this was only a sampling, but he wouldn’t be meeting the rest of them until he was ready. Justin was relieved. He had all he could handle at the moment.

It was obvious that these people all knew and loved him. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember any of them. They were all looking at him expectantly, and he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t give them want they wanted. Justin Taylor. Nor could he give Adeline what she wanted. Jacques DuPont. The fact was they all expected too much of him and he was drowning in their expectations.

Brian wanted his partner back.

Adeline wanted her husband back.

Peter and Jagger wanted their Daddy J back.

And nobody cared what he wanted! It was why he came here after throwing Brian out of the cabin. It was important that Brian understood a few things, and it was time he took control of his own recovery.

“Brian, I need to talk to you.” He announced.

Everyone took their cues and excused themselves. Andy was about to leave with the rest of the family when Justin called out.

“No Andy, don’t leave!”

Looks were exchanged between his family members that came too close to pity for Brian’s liking.

“Get the fuck out, everyone! Jason, go watch TV in the bedroom.” He ordered.

Everyone scrambled to do his bidding. Rena took one last look back at her brothers and Justin before exiting the suite. It still baffled her that Justin could ‘see’ Andy in Jason’s body. She wondered if they were any closer to finding out why.

Once they were alone, Brian sat down on the couch next to him.

“You’re not going to throw me out again, are you?” Brian said lightheartedly.

Justin let out a small laugh.

“Can’t. It’s your place.” He answered.

“Never stopped you before.” Brian said.

Justin folded his hands in his lap and lowered his eyes. He had to say this, and he couldn’t say it looking at Brian.

“I came here to tell you I believe you.” Justin made the admission.

Brian breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank God. Its way past time you came home. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure Adeline is taken care of.” He said.

“No, Brian, that’s not going to happen. I’ve decided to stay at the cabin with Adeline.” Justin said.

Brian’s eyes grew dark with anger.

“I swear to God Sunshine you’re going to be the death of me!” He said.

Justin cringed at the frustration he heard in Brian’s voice, but it didn’t deter him from saying what he came to say.

“This is not about you Brian! Everyone keeps forgetting it’s about me! You all want me to be who you want me to be; well I got news for you. I can’t be anything to anyone until I find out who I am!” Justin said passionately.

Now Brian cringed. “And pretending to be Adeline’s husband is going to help you accomplish that feat, how?” Brian threw back at him sarcastically.

Justin let out a long sigh.

“I had a long talk with Adeline when you left. You were right, she’s not well.” Justin said then looked over to see Brian’s reaction.

Brian’s face remained impassioned. He waited for Justin to continue.

“I’m going to tell her that I’m not her husband.” He said.

Brian’s eyes grew wide at that announcement.

“When?” He asked.

“In time. She’s not ready to hear it yet.” Justin said.

Brian snorted.

“Brian, she saved my life.” Justin whispered.

“I know she did. And believe me, no one is more grateful to her for that than I, but Justin, ready or not, she deserves the truth.” Brian said.

Justin tilted his head and eyed Brian knowingly.

“She knows the truth Brian. Deep down, she knows. She’s just not ready to accept it yet. She needs time, and I think that after all she’s done for me, it’s the least I can do for her.” Justin said.

Brian pressed his lips tightly together. He couldn’t refute Justin’s reasoning. He too believed Adeline knew the truth on some level. She just didn’t want to admit it, at least not yet. She’d been alone so long, she wanted the luxury of at least the illusion that her husband was back, and life was once again bearable for her.

“Sooner or later you’re going to leave Justin, and the longer you wait, the harder it will be on her.” Brian pointed out.

“You’re wrong. She doesn’t know me yet. She needs time to get to know me so she’ll trust that I won’t abandon her like everyone else she’s loved has. She’s been alone too long, it’s time she’s had someone she can call family. I intend to be that someone.” Justin said.

Brian sighed in defeat. He should have known Justin would feel this way. It reminded him, as if he needed reminding, once again why he loved him so. It was his nature to care for those in need.

“What about me? Where’s your concern for your ‘actual’ family?” Brian asked scornfully.

Though he could appreciate Justin compassionate nature, he was finding it exceedingly irritating that he chose to focus all his attention on Adeline, when he had a partner who needed him just as much.

Justin made a face at him.

“Again, this is NOT about you! God does your narcissism know no bounds?” Justin asked.

“Not when it comes to you it doesn’t. When it comes to you, I’m extremely selfish.” Brian stated.

“And extremely arrogant. Not to mention willful and rude. How in the world did we manage to sustain a relationship?” Justin asked.

The question stung Brian and he turned his head away.

“Which brings me to the next topic I want to discuss with you. If we’re to have any kind of relationship, we’re going to have to establish some rules.” Justin said.

Brian snapped his head back to Justin. He blinked twice then fell back on the couch, holding his sides laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?” Justin asked.

”Rules? RULES!? We tried that once. The results were disastrous. Trust me, we are not good at rules.” Brian said, his voice filled with mirth.

“Humph…I’m not surprised. You seem like someone who takes great pains and pleasure in breaking all the rules.” Justin accused haughtily.

This only made Brian laugh harder.

“Well that may be true but in this particular case, it was YOU who broke our rules. Not me.” Brian informed him.

Justin’s jaw dropped open.

“Me!? I can’t believe it!” He said then narrowed his eyes in thought.

“What were our rules?” He asked suspiciously.

“Well, rule one was home by 3 a.m., no matter where we were or who we were fucking.” Brian said.

“Wait, are you saying we had an open relationship?” Justin asked.

Brian sobered a bit. “Well, yeah, in the beginning. But that was mostly on my part. You didn’t like to trick much. Now if we trick, we only do it together.” Brian explained.

“Trick?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, trick. Casual fuck with a stranger.” Brian explained. He was still getting use to what Justin remembered, and what he didn’t. Most of his memory loss was centered on his identity, but some of it was random.

A myriad of emotions fluttered across Justin’s face.

Justin cleared his throat.

“And how much do we, um, trick together?” The little devil on Justin’s shoulder tempted him to ask.

Brian took great pleasure in watching his blondes’ reaction to that little bit of information. Justin looked like he didn’t know if he should be appalled, or aroused.

Brian hoped he opted for the latter.

“Often enough.” Brian supplied the answer in his most sultry voice.

Justin’s’ body instinctively reacted to the tone in Brian’s voice.

 _‘Damn! The man had too much fucking power over him.’_ He thought.

He couldn’t stop the blush that crept up his neck.

“What other rules?” He asked in a voice that was huskier then he would have liked it to be.

“No kissing anyone else on the mouth.” Brian said.

Justin’s eyes widened at that. He couldn’t imagine himself ever wanting to kiss anyone else but Brian. He could still feel his lips on his own, taste his taste…God the mans’ kiss was intoxicating, and addicting. Justin could live the rest of his life just kissing that beautiful mouth of his.

“I can’t believe I would break that particular rule.” He mused out loud.

Brian smiled at him.

“You did, but it was for a good cause. You were at a party your friend Daphne threw and hooked up with a virgin. You didn’t want his first time to be so impersonal. So you kissed him. It was a very considerate thing to do, and a legitimate reason to break that particular rule. If I had known at the time the reason you did it, it may have saved us some grief.” Brian explained.

Justin soaked in that bit of information before responding.

“You said you were my first. Were you considerate?” Justin asked.

“I hope I was.” Brian answered sincerely.

Justin smiled.

“Yeah. You would be.” He said

“So you see, rules don’t work with us Sunshine. Let’s just take it one day at a time.” Brian suggested as he reached out his hand to run his fingers along the side of Justin’s beautiful face.

Justin wanted to pull away from his touch. He really did. But his body wouldn’t let him. Instead, he leaned into the caress.

“Brian there needs to be boundaries.” Justin insisted holding Brian’s gaze.

His skin felt like fire beneath Brian’s touch.

“Sure Sunshine, anything you say.” Brian said as he moved his mouth closer to Justin’s.

Justin’s breath quickened at the nearness of him, but he didn’t pull away.

Brian glided his fingers from Justin’s cheek, to his lips. They opened dutifully for him as he dipped one finger inside while his thumb traced the fullness of his lower lip.

Justin instinctively flicked his tongue over the finger resting in his mouth.

Brian bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from cumming right there and then. It had been weeks since he had his boy.

 _‘Maybe he doesn’t hold all the power.’_ Justin thought triumphantly as he witnessed Brian’s reaction.

A small smile lifted the corner of his mouth as he repeated his action.

Brian groaned deeply. He looked down at his blonde and saw the impish glint in his eyes.

He removed his finger from his mouth and lowered his head to replace it with his tongue.

Justin cradled Brian’s face in his hands as he opened his mouth for him.

The kiss was soft and tender and rough and hot all at the same time. Justin moaned deeply into Brian’s mouth telling him of his need.

Brian responded by deepening the kiss.

Justin’s mind went blank as his body took over. Every nerve screamed to be touched by this man.

He felt himself, once again, getting lost in Brian’s kiss and he couldn’t allow that to happen. He didn’t want to become an extension of Brian. It would be too easy to let himself be consumed by him. He needed to find himself first, before he could give himself to another.

It was pure human survival instinct that gave him the strength to pull away from Brian’s welcoming mouth.

“Fuck. Why do you affect me this way?” He asked breathlessly, truly bewildered.

“It’s always been this way between us.” Brian answered honestly, his own breathing labored from his desire.

He lowered his head again and this time ran his tongue along Justin’s neck.

Justin moaned, his cock was straining against his pants.

“Brian,,, no…please..” He murmured.

“Hmmm….” Brian answered into his neck. He reached over and grabbed Justin’s cock.

“Oooohhh!” Justin gasped, startled by the sensation.

He snapped his head back and stared at Brian.

“I can’t.” He said, his eyes intent.

Brian stilled his movements and studied Justin.

“What’s wrong?” He asked sensing Justin’s distress.

Justin’s flushed face got redder.

“I mean I can’t! Fuck Brian I don’t remember!” He blurted out.

Brian’s eyes narrowed in confusion then it hit him. Justin didn’t remember ever having sex.

“Justin, you don’t need your memory to fuck. You’re a natural, trust me.” He tried to reassure Justin; unfortunately it only served to anger him.

“What are you saying? I was a slut?” Justin demanded.

Brian cursed under his breath. This was NOT how he wanted this to go.

“No, that would be me. I was the slut. I’m just saying with me, it always came natural to you. You may not remember me, but trust me, your body knows me. I can feel it, and I know you can.” Brian said.

That seemed to appease Justin a bit.

“I won’t lie, I want you, and it’s true, I don’t remember ever having sex, but that’s not what I meant when I said I don’t remember.” Justin said.

Brian ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Ok, so tell me what you meant, and why you can’t?” Brian asked.

“I’m not ready to fall in bed with you Brian. I can’t give myself to you until I know who it is I’m giving away.” Justin tried explaining.

Brian held his tongue. He wanted so bad to tell Justin that the only way he was going to find his way home, find his own identity, is through him. But he knew Justin wouldn’t, or couldn’t comprehend that in his present state.

He needed to get Justin in bed in order to make him understand. In bed they connected on a whole different level. Their souls communicated.

If he could get Justin to make love with him, it would lead the way to his getting his memory back. Brian was sure of it.

But how could he explain that to Justin? It would sound like some cheesy excuse to get him into bed. As if he needed an excuse to seduce him.

 _‘Fuck! That’s it!’_ Brian thought with a sly smile. He didn’t need an excuse, he needed a strategy.

Justin saw that smile and frowned.

“Brian, what are you thinking?” He asked suspiciously.

Brian lowered his mouth to Justin’s for one last quick kiss before rising from the couch.

He reached down and grabbed Justin’s crutches and helped Justin to his feet.

“I’m leaving?” Justin asked, confused by Brian’s actions.

“For now. But I want you to come back tonight. Jagger is playing downstairs with his band. I heard what you said, and I agree. You have to find out who you are and maybe watching your son perform will help. Bring Adeline along if you like.” Brian said.

Justin was totally confused by Brian’s abrupt change in mood.

“Just like that, I mean, you’re not going to try to talk me into…..” Justin’s voice trailed off embarrassed by what he was about to say.

“What? Fucking?” Brian filled in for him.

“Well, yeah.” Justin answered.

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “No. I respect your wishes.” Brian said.

It was what Justin wanted, but now that he had Brian’s consent to back off, it stung. He was hurt, and a little angry that Brian could dismiss him so easily. Wasn’t he desirable enough? Didn’t he feel the same intense need he did?

Wait, he fucking wanted this, now he’s complaining?! He shook his head confused at his own conflicting emotions.

“Fine.” He said a little too tersely.

Brian smiled to himself.

“Andy!” Brian called out.

Andy emerged from the bedroom cautiously.

“Um, everything ok out here?” He asked.

“Just peachy!” Brian responded a little too cheerily for Justin’s liking.

He was pouting, and that knowledge thrilled Brian.

“I want you to take Justin back to the cabin. Make sure he naps, then bring him back tonight for Jaggers show.” Brian directed.

Andy beamed. “Now that sounds like a great idea!” He said.

“Good. Oh, by the way, any news from your friend?” Brian asked Andy referring to his guardian Angel, Gabriel.

They still needed to find out why Justin could see Andy’s soul, what the connection was. It was key to understanding why the tragedies in his brother and Justin’s life correlated. If they could find the source, maybe they could break the cycle.

“No, still no real answers. Just cryptic hints. He’s really annoying at times.” Andy complained.

“I don’t think it wise to insult him at this point. I shudder to think of the ramifications.” Brian said half teasingly.

“Yeah well, I seem to get myself in all sorts of trouble these days.” Andy bemoaned.

Brian went over and hugged his brother.

“It will be fine.” He whispered in his ear. “I’ve got an idea.” He said.

Andy hugged him back then released him.

“Come on Justin, let’s get you back to the cabin before Adeline freaks. She wasn’t happy about him venturing out on his own.” Andy told Brian.

Brian wasn’t surprised.

“Well then you better hurry up back. Give Adeline my best.” Brian said as he guided the two out the door.

Justin looked back at him briefly before Brian shut the door on them.

 _‘What are you up to Mr. Kinney?’_ He thought as he followed Andy out the hotel.

Whatever it was, he intended to find out. Tonight.

Brian leaned against the closed door with a wide wicked grin on his face.

There was more than one way to skin a cat. When Brian fucking Kinney wanted something, he always got it and what he wanted, was his partner back.

Tonight he would start his campaign to accomplish just that.

He was going to take a page from the Taylor operating manual and use every trick in the book to break down all of Justin’s barriers, freeing him to surrender to his desires. Justin wanted him, there was no question about that, but he was too stubborn to be ruled by his lust. Well his blonde had no idea what he was up against.

Brian was going to win this battle, after all, he had been had himself by the Master. No one had walls higher or stronger than Brian, and that persistent little shit some how, broke through. It was now time to use those same skills Justin used on him for his own nefarious purposes.

Oh yeah, it was only a matter of time before his Sunshine would return to him.

 _...“Seek the lineage"..._

 

The voice in Brian’s head was back, as if scolding him for forgetting his true mission.

“Ok, ok! I haven’t forgotten! I can do two things at one time you know!” He spoke out loud to the empty room.

He picked up the phone and dialed James number. He explained to James what he wanted him to do.

“Happy?” He called out once he hung up with James.

No answer.

“Figures.” He muttered under his breath.

Now what to wear????? He mused turning his thoughts back to his own plans.

 

*************************************************

 

Corrine sat at the crowded bar mesmerized by the sight of Jagger on stage. He was truly a talented musician who was totally at ease on stage. He was something to watch as he wowed the crowd.

She took a sip of her gin and tonic and wondered, not for the first time, what the hell was wrong with her. Yes, Jagger was attractive, actually, he was hot as hell, and yes, he had a charm that was devastating, but he was eleven years her junior! Besides that very important fact, there were a million other reasons why she should avoid a dalliance with him at all costs.

He was young, reckless, famous and he’d be exiting her life just as quickly as he entered it. If she were up for a fling, she might consider Mr. Jagger Taylor-Kinney, but a fling would not be enough. The kid simply got to her. She was drawn to him like she’s never been drawn to any other man. Not even Mark. Her ex.

Corrine finished her drink and ordered another one just as Jagger launched into a sultry rock ballad. God the kid had the most seductive, erotic vocals. She looked over at him on the stage to find him directing his song at her. She quickly looked away. Just about every song he sang tonight was directed at her.

A tall blonde walked up beside her at the bar.

“Hey Julie.” Corrine greeted.

“You have no idea how many friends you’ve made tonight! The girls are all sooo going to owe you for this one! This is so much better than nose bleed seats at the arena.” Julie said.

“Not a problem Julie. Tell the girls it’s my pleasure.” She said.

Corrine had called Julie, her best friend, to start the phone chain informing the nurses at the hospital that “No apologies, no regrets” would be holding a private jam session at the hotel tonight.

The nurses called their friends, and word got around. The lounge was packed. Even a reporter showed up, which pleased the Hotel owner to no extent. Free publicity never hurt.

“So, where’s Dan tonight?” Julie asked.

Dan was the man Corrine was currently dating. Well, if you could call a movie and sleep over twice a month dating. Dan was very much into his career, as she was. Neither had the time, or interest if they were to be honest, to take it any further.

“He’s at some seminar in Belgium. He won’t be back till next week.” Corrine answered.

Julie nodded her head.

“Well that’s probably a good thing. The lead singer sure has his sights on you.” Julie remarked.

Corrine laughed bitterly. “Yeah, too bad he’s only nineteen.” She said.

Julie laughed. “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed. He seems so much older. Not older looking, just, well, mature if you know what I mean.” Julie answered.

Corrine knew exactly what she meant. She pondered on it herself ever since she met him. Beneath all his boyish shenanigans and Machiavellian tendencies there was a maturity, and wisdom that went beyond his years. She would guess he had a rough life, from a very young age learning some hard lessons along the way. It showed in his eyes. And she recognized it as only a kindred soul could.

“Anyway, if that’s what nineteen looks like these day then I’m in!” Julie joked.

Corrine laughed and turned her eyes to the young man in question when another pair of eyes met hers.

Her smile faded.

Julie saw the look on her friends face and turned to see what caused it.

“Fuck. What’s that asshole doing here?” She asked.

Corrine felt like disappearing into the floor. It was Mark, her ex.

To say the breakup was brutal would be putting it mildly.

Corrine was totally in love with Mark, or so she believed, since she was an intern at Mercy Hospital. He was a surgeon there. He was older, wiser, and sophisticated in ways she wasn’t. He took her under his wing and showed her everything. Even things she didn’t want to know. She blindly followed him, and yielded to his every whim.

They dated for three years, each year getting worse then the last. He became possessive, and abusive towards the end. At first, it was verbal abuse, which turned into sexual abuse, then physical abuse.

Towards the end, he would bring home other women and make her watch as he had sex with them. Till this day, she had no clue as to why she allowed it. Part of it was fear, another part was shame. After each abusive encounter, he would shower her with love and praise, and then threaten to kill her if she left him.

It was a very unhealthy relationship. One not many people knew about. She was ashamed that she had let herself, an educated woman, get trapped in an abusive relationship. She hid it well until one day, her friend Julie confronted her about the bruises she was coming into work with on a regular basis. Eventually, she confided in her and it was with Julies’ help that she was able to break free from the man.

It had been three years now and still the sight of him made her heart beat in fear and humiliation.

“I’m leaving.” She informed her friend.

Julie held on to her arm. “No. Don’t let him chase you away. You’re stronger now. You can’t keep running from him.” Julie said.

The source of her distress walked towards her.

“Hello Corrine. I’m surprised to see you here. Didn’t think you were into rock bands.” He said condescendingly.

Corrine noticed he had a very young, and very beautiful blonde on his arm. She also noticed the familiar defeated look in her eyes and took pity.

“Why should that surprise you?” Corrine countered, vowing not to let him intimidate her.

Mark let out a mocking laugh. “Well you must admit Corrine, you’re a bit, well, lets say seasoned, for this crowd, don’t you agree?” He said.

Corrine’s face flamed. ‘Seasoned.’ It was a direct reference not only to her age, but also to the fact that she was ‘well used’. She couldn’t even refute his insinuation. He had used her, debased her in ways that were unspeakable.

She heard Julie gasp beside her at the insult.

She was about to turn from him when Jagger insinuated himself between them, effectively blocking her view of the loathsome man, and in the process, dismissing him with his back. He then pulled her to him and lowered his mouth to hers.

She stood there all of thirty seconds stunned at Jagger’s actions before giving herself over to the kiss.

Mark stood there gaping at the scene before him.

The kiss was passionate and possessive to those observing.

To Corrine it was the most generous gift Jagger could give her. He somehow knew it was exactly what she needed at that precise moment.

The kiss gave her a confidence she was sorely lacking just a moment ago.

When Jagger finally pulled away, his eyes were glazed with lust, his body coiled for action.

“What do you say Red? I know we got all night, but I can’t wait. Lets go up to our room.” He said, insinuating they were together.

Corrine could hear Mark sputter behind Jagger. She looked over Jaggers shoulder and smiled wickedly at him.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners? Jagger, this is Mark.” She said with a triumphant glint in her eye.

“Hey Mac. Get lost.” Jagger said not bothering to turn around to address the man. He kept his eyes intently on Corrine’s flushed face, his arms around her waist, waiting for this prick to say something, anything that would give him an excuse to punch his lights out.

Jagger was just winding up his last song of the set when he saw the look on Corrine’s face.

He knew that look all too well. Whatever the prick said it was meant to hurt and humiliate her. He quickly finished his song and went to her aid.

“It’s Mark, and I think you better run along little boy, before you get hurt.” Mark snarled at Jaggers back.

Jagger smiled. Perfect.

He turned around and drew his fist back when he felt a strong hand grasp his wrist.

“What the fuck!” He said turning around to see who held him.

“You not only can’t afford the bad publicity, you can’t afford another law suit. Besides, shame on you Jagger. Picking on an old, addled minded man.” Brian said turning his eyes towards the source of his son’s anger.

He had just walked into the lounge, looking for Justin, when he spotted Jagger. He saw his stance and the look on his face; Jagger was ready to pounce. Brian ran over and stopped him before he did more damage to himself. He could give a shit about the man who was about to get his lights knocked out. He must have deserved it. For all of Jaggers wild ways, and faults, he never used violence unless pushed to his limits.

The man, who attracted his ire, must be addled minded if he thought to incur Jaggers’ wrath.

“It’s my fault, I’m sorry.” Corrine said.

Jagger snorted and shook his father off of him.

“Really? How do you figure?” Jagger asked.

It was another symptom of abuse. The victim taking blame.

Corrine had no answer. Jagger turned to Mark.

“What did you say to her?” He demanded.

Mark sneered at him. “That’s none of your business.” He replied.

“I beg to differ. She’s my girlfriend, and I know you insulted her. Of course you did it when I wasn’t around to defend her. If you had any balls you’d say whatever it is you said to her, to my face.” Jagger taunted.

Brian groaned.

“Jag..” He started.

“No Dad, this prick insulted Corrine. Now he’s either going to apologize, or we’re going to have a problem.” He said.

Just at that moment, Justin entered the lounge. He immediately saw the looks on Brian and Jaggers’ face and knew there was trouble.

He hobbled over to them, damning the crutches for slowing his progress, to see what the problem was.

“It wasn’t an insult, it was the truth. Before she was your girlfriend she used to whore for me.”

Justin heard the insult, saw Jaggers’ murderous look, and reacted, thinking to avoid a blood bath.

 _“WHACK!”_

Mark screamed and fell backwards, clutching his knees.

“Holy fuck!” Jagger spat out.

Brian caught Justin before he fell.

“Jesus Christ Sunshine you can’t go around hitting people with those things!” Brian admonished.

Justin had hit Mark behind the knees with his crutch, effectively downing him before Jagger caused real, serious damage to the man. He nearly fell over from his actions.

“Well I couldn’t let our son hit him! He looked like he was ready to commit murder!” Justin defended his actions.

“What’s the problem here?” The hotel security guard approached them.

“Um, no problem Sir. This man just had too much to drink.” Brian said.

“You Bastard! I’ll see you in court!” Mark cried out.

The young blonde he was with suddenly disappeared Corrine noticed.

“I wouldn’t make threats if I were you Mark. I may have let you abuse me, but I won’t let you abuse my friends. You make any trouble for them, and I’ll go public about our relationship. How long do you think your benefactors will continue to fund your research once they discover what a sick perverted pup you are?” Corrine threatened.

Marks eyes went wide. He’d been receiving grant money from some pretty high profile people to fund research on new and innovative surgical procedures.

He tried to rise from his position on the floor. The security guard helped him to his feet.

“You wouldn’t dare. You don’t have the guts.” He said once he was standing.

Corrine boldly walked up to him and spit in his face.

“Try me.” She said, venom dripping in her voice.

Mark pulled his handkerchief out and wiped the spittle from his face.

“This isn’t over Corrine.” He said.

“You better hope it is. I’ve still got a score to settle.” She responded.

Jagger looked at Corrine with new respect.

Marks eyes mirrored a reaction close to fear. He turned on his heels and left.

“Well, that was fun.” Jagger said.

“Jagger, you can’t go around hitting people! I would think your father and I taught you better!” Justin scolded.

Brian turned to him and smiled. Justin felt very comfortable scolding Jagger. That was a good sign.

“Come on DJ, that prick deserved it! Besides, you DID teach me better. You taught me to stand up to bullies.” Jagger replied mulishly.

Brian could see his son was playing the part of the ‘rebuked child’ up for Justin’s benefit. He wanted Justin to remember him, and their relationship as badly, if not more so, then the rest of their family.

“Standing up to a bully doesn’t mean using violence! No matter what he said, violence should only be used as a last resort, and only to protect someone from getting hurt.” Justin insisted.

“Oh, right Daddy J, and that whack you gave him with your crutch was protecting who?” Jagger counter.

“You.” Brian answered for Justin.

Justin looked at him with appreciation. Apparently Brian did have a sense of what kind of person he was.

“Your Dad is right. I saw your face Jagger. You were ready to do some serious harm to that man. I couldn’t let you do that. Not to him, and not to yourself.” Justin said.

Jagger had the good grace to blush.

“Ok, I give.” He said then hugged Justin.

“I’m glad you’re here. Did Dad convince you to come?” Jagger asked.

Justin smiled at him.

“No one had to convince me to come hear my son play.” Justin replied.

“How are you feeling?” Corrine asked.

Justin turned to her. “I’m fine, how are you?” He asked.

Corrine blushed.

“I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble. I thought that part of my life was over.” She confessed.

“Listen Red, the next time you apologize for that asshole I’m going to take you over my knee.” Jagger said.

Julie, who was standing by watching the whole exchange, laughed heartily.

“Oh yeah, I like this one!” She said.

Corrine jabbed her playfully with her elbow. She introduced her to everyone then turned to Jagger.

“Ok, come on kid. Let me buy you a drink. It’s the least I can do to repay you for your chivalry.” She said.

Jagger winched at her words. “I am anything but chivalrous!” He said.

Corrine laughed and led him away.

Justin turned to Brian.

“I gather he was a handful raising.” He said.

Brian sighed. “You could say that. We almost lost him. If it weren’t for you, we would have. I couldn’t deal with him.” He said as he led Justin over to a small table and helped him into his seat.

“Thanks.” Justin said as he settled in.

“You couldn’t deal with him? I find that hard to believe. You seem like a man who can handle just about anything life has to throw at him.” Justin remarked.

Brian pushed his tongue into his cheek and grinned. Whether Justin realized it or not, he was still ‘on’ to Brian. Memory or not.

“Yeah, I handle things, but not always in the best manner.” Brian said.

Justin pondered on his words, sensing some deeper meaning behind them, but decided not to push him to elaborate.

“So, where’s Adeline?” Brian asked.

“She didn’t want to come. It’s been a while since she’s been around people. Andy’s with her.” Justin informed him.

Brian’s eyebrow rose at that little announcement.

“You’re out without Andy? I can’t believe you let him out of your sight.” Brian said.

Justin sighed. “I almost didn’t. But he promised to stay with Adeline, and she felt secure that I would return if Andy were there. It’s hard on her. She fears I might abandon her again, but she instinctively knows I won’t abandon him.” Justin said.

“Are you any closer to understanding the connection you have with him?” Brian asked.

Justin shook his head sadly.

Brian frowned.

“You said you felt like you had unfinished business. What kind of business? I mean does it feel like it was good or bad business?” Brian asked, not able to phrase the question quite like he wanted to.

“Good and bad. If that makes sense.” He answered.

“None of this makes sense.” Brian stated.

“You’re telling me.” Justin mused.

“Well, the good news is you’re here. Jagger is very happy.” Brian said.

Justin threw Brian an annoyed look.

 _‘And what about you? Are YOU glad I’m here?’_ His mind rebelled.

“It’s important I be here for him. Just cause I don’t remember him; I don’t want him to think I won’t be here for him. He’s my son. That hasn’t changed.” Justin said.

“I’m glad you feel that way.” Brian said then called the waiter over.

Justin sat back and berated himself for noticing how fucking gorgeous Brian looked tonight.

He was wearing a black skintight button up shirt, which wasn’t buttoned up at all. Most of his chest was peaking out from behind the shiny silk material. Justin could make out every muscle that was uncovered and those muscles that were covered strained wantonly against the material.

If that weren’t bad enough, it took all of Justin’s will not to stare open mouth at the beauty of his face. It positively shone in the low candle light from the table. The lines and angles on his face were masculine, and strong from his jaw to his high cheekbones. His nose was Romanesque. Long and lean. His eyelashes were impossibly long, sweeping over deep hazel orbs. And his hair…

Justin wondered how the fuck he got his hair to fall that way. Perfect. Not a strand out of place.

Justin was suddenly self-conscious of his own casual attire and ruffled hair. His hand absently went to smooth it. He needed it cut, it was falling to his shoulders.

The waiter came over, interrupting Justin’s musings, and asked for their order.

Brian looked the man up and down with an appreciative eye.

Justin fumed.  
The waiter smiled a little too long, and a little to sweetly at Brian for Justin’s liking.

 _...‘I went out on a date once…. I fucked the waiter’..._ The words popped into Justin’s head.

He turned wide eyes to Brian and blurted out.

“You fucked the waiter!?” It was both a question and an accusation.

Brian turned shocked eyes to Justin.

“I don’t think we’re ready to order yet.” He said to the waiter, keeping his eyes on Justin.

He leaned over the table, resting his arms on the wood surface.

“Mind telling me where that came from?” Brian asked.

He’d purposely flirted with the waiter to see Justin’s reaction, but he didn’t expect the outburst.

Justin blinked a few times and shook his head.

“YOU SAID THAT!” He said excitedly.

Brian frowned, confused.

Justin couldn’t contain his glee. He had a memory!

“You told me that! You said, and I quote, “I went on a date once. I ended up fucking the waiter.” Justin said with a proud look on his face.

Brian’s mouth literally dropped open.

“Don’t fucking tease me! Are you telling me you remember me telling you that?” Brian asked, afraid to hope.

“YES! I don’t know where, or when, but I distinctly remember YOU telling me that!” Justin exclaimed.

Brian threw his head back and let out a joyous howl which attracted more than one stare from the other patrons.

He slammed his hands on the table.

“This calls for a celebration!” Brian said.

Justin laughed merrily. Joy consumed him.  
He had a memory! A real, live memory! And with that realization came another one.

It was true.

Proof that he and Brian did have history. Oh, he had believed it was true, but believing, and knowing were two different things.

Now he knew.

He and Brian shared a past.

 

Their future however, was still in question.


	13. It's in His Kiss

**When I kiss you, I can taste your soul.**

 **~Carrie Latet**

 

Jagger sat on the suede-covered cushion of the bay window with his sweat covered back pressed up against the cool glass pane, smoking a cigarette as he gazed tenderly at the sleeping fireball lying in his bed.

The dusky light of dawn filtered through the cloud of smoke he exhaled and fell on the pale exposed skin peeking out from the covers. He took another deep pull of the cigarette before crushing it out in the ashtray that lay next to him.

He’d been sitting there for the past hour, spent from what was the most intense sex he’d ever remembered experiencing, yet not ready for sleep, thinking about the events of the evening that led to his current sated, depleted and confused state.

After the incident in the hotel lounge last night, Corrine had warmed up to him considerately. She let her guard down and surprised him with a glimpse of the playful girl that she’d convincingly concealed within the conservative façade she wore so well.

The staunch, unshakable, by the book doctor let her hair down, both figuratively and literally and revealed a side to herself that both pleased, and aroused him.

It started innocently enough; she had offered to buy him a drink for defending her to her ex. He surprised her by ordering club soda. She said she’d pegged him as a Scotch man, to which he replied he was, too much of one actually, hence the club soda.

This opened the door to conversation about his past addictions, and recoveries. A subject Jagger never, ever talked to anyone outside the family about. He never even told Janet, his publicist, about his addiction, whose job it was to know these things in order to protect him from bad press.

She found out through a reporter who got hold of a photo of Jagger in rehab from some paparazzi and called her for a comment. Janet went ballistic on Jagger for not preparing her. He informed her the topic was not up for discussion. Reporters were bound to find out about his stints in rehab and were going to print it whichever way sold more papers, so he had nothing to say on the topic. Janet just had to deal with it best she could, without his cooperation. He would not talk to her, or anyone outside the family about it.

Yet last night he opened up to Corrine in way’s he never had with anyone else. No one, not even his family, well except perhaps Brian, could understand the pain and range of emotions he went through during his darkest days.

The insecurities, fear and compulsions that drove him to abuse himself with alcohol and drugs were beyond most ‘normal’ people’s comprehension.

Apparently Corrine wasn’t like most ‘normal’ people. She understood those feelings all too well, having experienced them herself. It was those same destructive feelings that led her to her own form of self-abuse through subjecting herself to that poor excuse of a human he had encountered earlier.

They were kindred souls in that aspect. And the fact that they were so comfortable confiding in each other things they barely admitted to themselves amazed Jagger.

Their instant trust and compatibility was uncanny. He didn’t know if that was a good thing, or a recipe for disaster.

They talked through out the night, in-between sets, until two a.m. at which time Jagger took her up to his room. They barely shut the door behind them when clothes starting flying off.

Their intellectual and emotional compatibility paled in comparison to their sexual compatibility.

At first the sex was raw and dirty. Jagger fucked and sucked her in every way imaginable, and some unimaginable. She met his ardor with a fervency that matched his own. It was as if each were exorcising some dark demons neither were even aware still existed with in them.

Once spent, sweaty and covered in cum, Jagger gently carried her to the Jacuzzi where he washed their ‘sins’ away then proceeded to make love to her so tenderly, that when they climaxed, their bodies shook from the intensity of it as tears fell freely down their faces.

Corrine cried until she fell into an exhausted slumber. Jagger used every once of will he had to keep his emotions in check as he carried her from the jet-streamed tub and gently dried her off before laying her down on the bed.

The experience was near religious in nature and Jagger was having a difficult time processing it. Hence his current position at the window seat, staring at the woman who in one night effectively threw his world off kilter.

He could just chalk it up to great sex. He knew all to well the power of lust. Whether it be lust for sex, drugs, alcohol, or whatever one’s poison was. Lust clouded a man’s thinking. It ruled his body, and made him believe in things that he would never believe other wise.

Yes. He could just chalk it up to incredible, lust filled sex if it weren’t for her kiss.

Corrine’s kiss was magic in itself. Lust faded in comparison to the feelings her kiss evoked in him.

For him, kissing was always just a prelude to sex. Never, until tonight, did he understand the power a kiss held.

Her kiss spoke volumes to him. It healed, it burned, it begged, it demanded, it submitted to him, and dominated him all at once.

It was a meeting of their souls.Jagger could deny many things about tonight, but he could never, for as long as he lived, ever deny the power of her kiss.

Wearily, Jagger left his perch by the window to escape his tortuous thoughts to join the beautiful, amazing woman in his bed. He pulled her too him and enveloped her body in his. Snuggling his nose into her hair, he breathed in deep of her scent.

The morning sun would soon be shinning bright, announcing a new day and Jagger dreaded its arrival. For with it, came the reckoning.

He knew all too well how morning’s light inevitability erased the magic from the night before. He’s had one too many women in his bed not to be jaded by that realization.

Only this time, this morning, was different. This time Jagger believed that what they shared last night, was just the first step in the long journey that fate had in store for them.

Getting Corrine to share his belief in the inevitability of ‘them’ however was going to take some effort.

For all their compatibility, Corrine still was very much aware of their age difference and Jagger knew it was just one huddle he’d have to clear if they were to have any kind of relationship.

There was also the obstacle of his career. It was just taking off. Jagger would be touring pretty much non-stop for the next year, plus he had a three-album deal with his record company. Life was just starting to get complicated for him to be adding the extra complication of sustaining a love affair that would most likely be conducted long-distance for the next year or so.

Corrine was a smart woman and would take all these things into consideration. Jagger had no doubt that when she woke, she would use each and every one of the arguments he just mulled over in his head, to walk away.

There was one fatal flaw in her plan though, one thing she’d never considered. And that was that Jagger was not going let her walk away.

He smiled to himself imagining how she was going to approach that realization. Probably in same manner she approached most everything she was passionate about. With stubborn determination.

No, things were not going to go smoothly in this relationship…Jagger thought as he started to doze off… But it didn’t matter. When Jagger Taylor-Kinney wanted something, he would stop at nothing to get it.

And Jagger wanted one hot blooded red-haired doctor warming his bed for a very long time to come..

******************************************************

Brian watched as Peter steered the big black sedan up the long driveway towards the hospitals’ entrance to where he and Rena stood waiting for them.

“I still don’t understand why you sent Peter to get them. You could have gone yourself.” Rena commented.

“Because my dear Sister, it’s not what Justin expects. He expects me to pick him up. He’s that sure of me.” Brian said as he idly leaned his body against the hospital buildings’ brick wall.

He schooled his features to reflect a bored, dispassionate look.

“And that’s a bad thing?” Rena asked.

“Right now it is. Justin is too comfortable pushing me away because he believes I won’t ever leave him. And as long as he believes that, there is no reason for him to fight for me and I need him to fight if he’s ever going to get his memory back. I know Justin. If he feels I’m pulling away, he’ll instinctively pull me back, and when he does, his memory will start to return.” Brian tried to explain.

They had a major breakthrough last night and Brian took it as evidence that his plan was working. Earlier yesterday Brian pulled away from Justin and last night, Justin had a memory of a conversation he and Brian had years ago. Albeit an insignificant memory, but a memory nonetheless. Gilles told him that it would probably happen like that. The first memories to surface would be small little things such as the one he had last night, but that eventually bigger more significant memories would start to return.

“Well I hope you know what you’re doing. While you’re waiting for him to come to you, Adeline is insinuating herself more into his life.” Rena said.

Brian snorted. “Let her. First, Justin knows he’s gay, second, he knows he’s not her husband.” Brian remarked.

Rena gave him an incredulous look. “As if that matters? This is Justin we’re talking about. Always one for a cause. He’s already feeling responsible for her. Right now he’s more concerned about taking care of her needs, and not yours, or his own for that matter. Your plan is risky, and may take too long. The longer his memory loss continues, the higher the risk of him not remembering at all.” Rena stated then turned pleading eyes to him.

“Bean, what do you say I try to hypnotize him again? It worked last time. He got his memory of prom night back.” She suggested.

Brian had already discussed that possibility with Gilles. Though he didn’t dismiss the idea out of hand, Gilles wanted to see what, if any brain damage Justin sustained from the accident first. They had a cat scan schedule for this morning, along with x-rays for his leg. Gilles agreed to discuss all treatments available to them after they got the test results. In the meantime, Brian intended to stick with his plan.

“It’s an option, but not one I’m ready to consider yet. And don’t forget we still need to figure out how the fuck our brother plays into all of this. Justin ‘knows’ him Re. He can see him in Jason’s body. There’s something bonding them and not in a positive life affirming way. And I don’t think hypnotizing him is going to fix that particular problem.” Brian said a little too caustically.

Rena flinched at the pain she heard in her brother’s voice. He was under a lot of stress and it was getting to him. His brother and his partner were both in trouble, and Brian was at a loss as how to help either of them.

“Bean, have faith. They’ll both be fine.” Rena tried to reassure.

Brian threw her a snide sideward glance.

“I should have faith? In what? A God who cursed my brother with a terrible disease then left him to die the most horrible painful death? A God who then sends my brother back to me to only to suffer more because he believes he’s responsible for my pain? A God who teases me with the promise of love only to threaten to take it away from me time and time again? Faith’s bullshit and it’s a commodity I can’t afford anymore.” Brian spit out bitterly.

 _………”It is not important you have faith in your Father. Your Father has faith in you. Be strong child. Seek and you shall find…”_

The voice in Brian’s head spoke soothingly, and oddly, Brian felt comforted by it.

 _“Seek and you shall find.”_ The lineage.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it.” Brian said in a huff.

“What?” Rena asked.

“Nothing.” Brian answered then nodded his head towards the curb.

Rena turned her head to see the car pull up park in front of the entrance.

Brian maintained his position against the wall of the building. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

Peter got out of the car and walked around to help Justin out.

Adeline and Andy emerged from the back seat.

Justin collected his crutches and hobbled over to Brian, his brow furrowed in irritation.

Brian exhaled a ring of smoke and smiled lazily as he watched his tiger approach him. He could tell by the look on his face his boy was not happy with him.

Good.

"Hey." Brian said in his most casual voice.

Justin stopped in front of him. “Peter said you were busy this morning, too busy to come get me. What happened? Did you pick up that waiter after I left last night?” Justin snapped without preamble.

Brian raised his brow.

“And why would I do that?” Brian asked.

Justin’s face flushed with anger. Brian just deflected his argument with one swift blow. Why indeed? Justin refused to take their relationship to the bedroom. He told him he wouldn’t have sex with him until he got his memory back, knowing that it was a very real possibility that he may never get it back.

The question wasn’t why would he pick up that waiter, the question was, why wouldn’t he?

Still, Justin couldn’t stomach thinking of Brian fucking another man. He knew he was being totally irrational, refusing to have sex with him, yet expecting Brian not to have sex with anyone else, but hey, not one of his thoughts were ‘rational’ when it came to this man.

“Point taken.” He conceded.

Brian nodded his head, accepting Justin’s concession.

“Now answer the question.” Justin demanded.

Brian laughed. “Impetuous as always.”

Justin continued to glare at him.

Brian sighed. He dropped the cigarette to the ground and crushed it with the toe of his seven hundred dollar Prada shoe.

“Only my partner is allowed to ask me such questions.” Brian challenged looking back up at Justin.

“Well according to you, we are partners.” Justin retorted.

“According to me. What about you?” Brian countered.

“I didn’t fuck that waiter.” Justin answered cheekily.

Brian barked out a laugh and pushed himself away from the building.

“Come on Tiger, lets go get you x-rayed. If you’re nice, I just might take you and the wife out to lunch.” Brian teased sarcastically.

Justin chose to ignore Brian’s jab, and the fact that he never answered his question and turned to Rena.

“Rena, can you do me a favor? Adeline is very nervous about her examination. I can’t be with her because our appointments are at the same time. Can you stay with her? She likes you.” Justin asked.

“Of course. Don’t you worry about a thing. You just run along with Brian, I’ll stay with Adeline. We’ll meet you in the cafeteria afterwards.” Rena offered.

Justin gave her a big smile and hugged her.

“Thanks Rena. This means a lot to both of us.” Justin said.

Brian’s jaw tightened at Justin’s use of the word ‘us’ when talking about him and Adeline. Maybe Rena was right. Adeline had way too much influence over him.

He turned away from them before he said something that would spark an argument and sought out his brother.

Andy was leaning against the car talking to Peter.

Brian walked up to him and pulled him in for a hug, that lasted a bit longer then he intended, and whispered hoarsely in his ear.

“How are you doing?”

Andy pulled back and smiled at his brother.

“Bean, stop worrying. I’m fine, really.” He said.

“Yeah, well fine isn’t cutting it anymore. You deserve better than fine.” Brian mused in an emotion filled voiced.

Andy furrowed his brow.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing, don’t mind me. I’m just being a bit maudlin today. As much as Emmett would like to believe, he doesn’t hold the rights to that particular emotion.” Brian joked.

Andy wrapped his arms around Brian and drew him in for another hug, squeezing him tight.

“I love you too.” He whispered, hearing Brian’s unspoken words.

Brian choked out a small sob.

“Um, Dad, we should get Daddy J inside.” Peter interrupted the disturbingly touching scene.

He was not comfortable at all with his Dad’s relationship with Jason. It was too personal. He intended to talk to Jagger about it. It was just so wrong on so many levels.

Brian pulled away from his brother and rubbed the moisture away from his eyes.

“Come on. Lets go get our boy check out.” He said to Andy.

Peter watched as his Dads’ and Jason walked down the corridor of the hospital towards the radiation department. Rena and Adeline followed them. He waited until they were all out of sight before he pulled out his cell.

“Jag, it’s me. We need to talk. I think Dads in trouble.” He said.

**************************************************************

“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Brian remarked.

He and Justin were heading towards the nurses station. It took all over forty minutes to get x-rayed and a cat scan done. Gilles had set it up so they got in right away. All they needed to do now was to set up an appointment for tomorrow to get the results.

“Don’t patronize me.” Justin snapped.

Justin was growing increasingly more irritated with Brian. He was being condescending and obnoxious for reasons he couldn’t decipher.

The man was simply driving him fucking crazy! Justin knew, or at least he thought he knew, Brian wanted him. But ever since they parted last night, Brian had been acting very cool and indifferent towards him.

Last night they had celebrated his small memory. Justin was so enjoying Brian’s company. He was attentive and charming. The booze and conversation flowed easily. Justin even learned a few things about him, and about himself. It was a wonderful evening, but then all of a sudden, around one in the morning, Brian called for car service to take Justin home.

At first, Justin thought it very considerate of him, not wanting to keep him out too late, but then when Brian refused to escort him back to the cabin, claiming he had ‘pressing business’, Justin fumed. He had his suspicions who Brian would be ‘pressing business’ with. His suspicions were confirmed when he didn’t show up this morning to take him to the hospital. He was sure Brian would have come to get him. Now, he wasn’t so sure of anything. Last night, actually since he met Brian, Justin knew he wanted him. Justin saw it in his eyes, felt it with every breath of his body. That intense desire however seemed to dissipate over night. It was as if his sexual interest in him was just some fleeting fad, only to be replaced by more tempting fare once the opportunity arose.

It hurt, and angered Justin. He may not have any memory of Brian or their past life together but that didn’t change the fact that he knew Brian belong to him. And he knew Brian knew it too. So why was he pushing him away?

 _“You can’t get rid of me. I’m on to you.”_

The words sprung into his head. His words. Justin stopped short in the hallway and gulped in air, shocked at the erotic scene taking form in his minds eye.

Foggy images of Brian naked, sprawled on a chaise lounge came into focus. He could see every muscle in Brian’s beautifully formed body. He could almost smell the faint scent of sex mixed with cologne and whiskey and something sweet…

It was a memory.

He was there, saying those very words to Brain as he lounged in that chair.

Brian took several steps before he realized Justin wasn’t at his side. He stopped and turned back to see Justin’s expression. He rushed to him.

“What?” He asked.

Justin shook his head.

“Nothing.” He said, a blush creeping up his neck.

“Bullshit, you had a memory. Tell me.” Brian insisted.

Justin threw him an evil grin.

“Tell me about that waiter last night?” He countered.

“Fuck!” Brian cursed and ran his hand threw his head.

Justin smiled brightly at him as small details surrounding the memory were starting to fill in. His body, naked on top of Brian’s, feeding him ice-cream, then licking it off of him. Kissing him…

It always came back to Brian’s kiss. If Justin were honest with himself, he’d have to admit it was the one place he felt completely at home. In Brian’s kiss.

“I didn’t fuck the waiter, ok!?” Brian said frustrated at having to call ‘uncle’ first.

Justin laughed, dropped his crutches and threw his arms around Brian’s neck. Brian closed his eyes and breathed in deep the scent of his blonde.

He wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his nose in his neck.

“Tell me.” He whispered, his heart pounding with anticipation.

“Ice cream kisses.”

Brian’s head snapped back, shocked.

“Jesus Sunshine you don’t fuck around do you? Out of all the memories we’ve shared, I have to admit, that’s a pretty fucking good one.” He said grinning sexily at him.

Justin couldn’t help but beam at Brian. He wasn’t surprised having sex with Brian would be one of the first memories he’d have. After all, he’d been daydreaming about it ever since they met.

His happiness however, over the memory was short lived. There were still so many blanks to fill in.

“How old was I?” He asked.

“Seventeen.”

“Was that our first time?” Justin asked hopefully.

He’d like to think he’d remembered his first time.

Brian frowned.

“Sorry Sunshine, but no.”

“Oh.” Justin said a little too sadly.

“Hey! It’s a memory. A pretty fucking hot one too!” Brian said sexily, winking at Justin.

“Yes it is!” Justin said pulling himself up to meet Brian’s eyes, using his shoulders for support.

They held each other’s gaze, each relieving the memory in the other’s eyes.

For a brief moment, they were both there lying on that chaise, in that time, sharing ice-cream kisses….

“There you are! We’ve been looking for you.”

Brian turned to see Peter and Jagger heading towards them.

He bent down to retrieve Justin’s crutches and handed them to him.

“Fucking kids..” He sighed dramatically.

“Always had fucking lousy timing.” He muttered.

Justin laughed.

“Hey DJ, how’d it go?” Jagger asked, giving Justin a quick hug.

“Great. Test went smoothly, we should have the results back by tomorrow. I just need to make an appointment and I’m done for toady.” Justin said.

“I’ll take you.” Peter said all too eagerly.

“Um, Peter, I think I can manage my way to the nurses station. It’s right down the hall.” Justin remarked, wondering what the two were up to.

“I know, I just meant I’ll walk with you.” Peter said, his voice taking on a nervous timbre.

“Actually you can walk with your Dad and I. We were just heading there.” Justin said.

“Fuck this. Dad, I want to talk to you. Alone.” Jagger said.

Brian raised his brow at his son.

“Jesus Jag, I thought we agreed…”

“Fuck it, I’ve no time for this shit. DJ, would you mind if I talk to Dad alone?” Jagger, always the blunt one, asked.

“Of course not. I’ll go make the appointment then Peter can come with me to the cafeteria to wait for Adeline.” Justin suggested.

“Sure, no problem.” Peter said relieved Jagger would be the one to confront their Dad.

“See you later?” Justin directed the question to Brian.

Brian smiled at him.

“Later.”

Peter escorted Justin away from his Dad and brother.

Jagger turned on his father once they were out of earshot.

“Mind telling me what the fuck is going on?” He demanded.

Brian narrowed his eyes.

“Why don’t you tell me what the fuck you think is going on?” Brian returned.

“I think you’re getting way too cozy with Jason, that’s what I think. For Fuck sakes Dad! He’s Lizzy’s boyfriend!” Jagger spat out angrily.

Brian’s nostril’s flared and his face turned a deep shade of red.

Jagger was momentarily frightened, but he would not back down. Not about something this important.

“Just what are you insinuating Jagger?” Brian said in a very tight voice.

Jagger huffed.

“Can you deny you’ve kept him by your side constantly through all this while you’ve pushed your own family away?” Jagger asked.

Brian could hear the anger in his son’s voice, but more importantly, he could hear the hurt. Some of his own anger diffused.

“It’s not what you think. Jason has been supportive, that’s all. Sometimes Jag, it’s easier to take comfort from a stranger, then it is your own family. It’s my job to protect my children, and my partner, not to lean on them for support when they need me the most.” Brian said in form of an explanation.

It wasn’t a lie; it just didn’t pertain to his and Jason’s true relationship. Something he could never explain to his son.

“So you’re telling me you’re not fucking him?” Jagger said.

“Jagger Taylor-Kinney!” Justin’s voice boomed from behind him.

“Shit.” Jagger said and turned around.

“DJ, I’m…”

“You’re interfering in things that are NOT your business! And who do you think your Dad is fucking anyway?” Justin retorted.

He came back to ask Brian what time he should make the appointment for. He knew Brian would want to be with him to hear the results.

“I tried to stop him..” Peter started to say.

“Please, I knew you two were up to something, but this!!!??” Justin said angrily.

“He thinks I’m fucking Jason.” Brian said, emphasizing the name, “Jason”

Justin eyed Brian and nodded. He knew that except for him, Brian and Rena, the rest of the family referred to Andy as Jason. Though he didn’t understand why. It was just one more mystery to add to his long list of ‘unknowns.’

“Jagger, trust me. Your Dad is not fucking Jason. You owe him an apology.” Justin said.

He saw the way the two men acted towards each other. Their affection for each other, though genuine, did not stem from lust. Justin would have sensed that. Like he sensed the lust Brian was feeling for that waiter last night. The man was truly a walking sexual phenomenon. He emanated sex from every pore. It was natural for him to be in an almost constant state of arousal. There were very few men Brian didn’t respond to sexually. The men in his family were amongst that few, and Andy.

“DJ, forgive me, but you’re not well. Hell, you’re just as attached to him! And you don’t even know who the fuck he is! You keep calling him Andy for Christ sakes!” Jagger stated.

“Well whatever the fuck his name is, your Dad is NOT fucking him! And neither am I! I may have lost my memory, but I haven’t lost my mind! Neither your Dad, nor I would ever fuck someone we consider family. I’m surprised at you for even thinking it!” Justin admonished.

Jagger was taken aback by Justin’s admission that Jason was family. He wasn’t. Not yet anyway, and not if he had anything to say about.

“I’m sorry DJ, but I don’t trust Jason! He broke Lizzy’s heart once, now he’s all over you and Dad! He’s got some fucking hold on the both of you. And neither of you can see it!” Jagger argued.

“Who’s Lizzy?” Justin asked.

Brian threw Jagger a scalding look.

“I called Jag Dad. I saw how you and Jason embraced, and I heard him say “I love you too” when you two were hugging.” Peter said, taking the focus off of Jagger’s blunder.

“Andy told you he loved you?” Justin asked confused, his earlier question completely forgotten.

“Yes.” Brian simply answered.

Justin looked at him puzzled. He was curious to know what that was all about, but he wasn’t about to question Brian in front of their sons. He turned to Peter.

“So you naturally assumed they were having sex and called your brother. I wonder what did you two expect to accomplish? I mean, even if it were true, do you think you could stop your father from doing anything he wanted to do? Even I know that’s an impossibility, and hell, I don’t even fucking remember him!” Justin said challenging his sons.

“We thought, to talk some sense into him!” Jagger snapped.

“What you thought, is that I was hurting Justin, and Lizzy. I understand your concern, and why you would think that. But you’ll just have to trust me when I tell you I am not having sex with Jason.” Brian said then turned to Justin.

“Or Andy.” He added.

Justin nodded his head. If he’d learned anything about the man in the brief time he’s known him, it was that Brian Kinney did not lie. Though he didn’t have to tell him he wasn't having sex with Andy. Justin already knew that notion was preposterous.

“Than that’s settled.” Justin said.

Jagger and Peter both looked at each other. They each knew Brian wouldn’t lie; still, neither was comfortable with Jason’s influence over their Dads.

“Ok. If you say you’re not fucking him, we believe you. But Dad, please, be careful. He’s too interested in both you and DJ. I doubt his reason’s are as noble as you seem to think they are.” Jagger said.

Brian put his hands on his son’s shoulders, and pulled them both in for a hug.

“Stop worrying. Ok? I won’t do anything to hurt our family. Trust me.” He said to them.

They both hugged him back and muttered feeble apologies.

“I’m worried about you.” Jagger whispered into Brian’s ear.

Brian released his sons and looked into Jagger’s eyes.

“I told you not to worry. I know what I’m doing, ok?” Brian said, beseeching Jagger to trust him with his eyes.

After a few seconds, Jagger relented and let out an accepting sigh.

“Good. Cause I’ve enough trouble right now to be worrying about you and DJ.” Jagger said half jokingly.

“Oh? What trouble?” Justin inquired.

“The Red haired kind.” Jagger said with and impish grin on his face.

Brian and Justin looked at each other with concern. They knew there was an attraction between their son and Corrine, but Jagger was in no position to start a relationship. Brian told Justin that Jagger was still in the early stages of recovery, and just recently had a relapse. The stress of his career was hard enough for Jagger to deal with. Starting up a relationship with a woman who was eleven years his junior was an added stress Jagger did not need right now.

“Jag..” Brian started.

“Don’t Dad. It’s like you said. You’ll just have to trust me.” Jagger threw Brian’s words back at him.

Brian scowled.

“Ok, enough of this. It’s been a long, exhausting morning. Lets all go to the cafeteria and get some lunch. I’m sure Adeline is finished with her examination by now.” Justin said.

“Can’t. I’ve got a date.” Jagger said.

“I can’t either. I’m heading back to the Chateau. I told Lizzy I’d help her with the show this weekend. It’s the grand opening.” Peter said.

“What show? And again, who is Lizzy?” Justin asked.

“Ok, you two run along now.” Brian interrupted.

Peter and Jagger gave their Dad’s hugs goodbye and made a quick exit, letting Brian deal with the faux pas they made.

“Brian?”

Brian ran his hand threw his hair and cursed. Gilles was adamant about not filling Justin’s mind with too much of his life, too soon. He needed to learn things about himself slowly, and preferably, on his own.

“Justin, it’s too soon.” Brian said.

“Fuck that. Tell me. Who is this Lizzy, and what show is she putting on?” Justin demanded.

Justin held Brian’s gaze and saw the conflicting emotions flit over them as he debated on whether or not to answer Justin’s question.

“Ok, but first you tell me, in detail, all about our ice-cream kiss.” Brian suggested seductively.

“Over dinner.” He added before Justin could respond.

Justin tilted his head to the side and eyed Brian.

“You know I’m on to you Kinney.” He said.

Brian laughed.

“You always are.”


	14. Getting to Know You

**"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."**

 **Ralph Waldo Emerson**

 

 

"Oh honey, trust me, this is the one!" Emmett exclaimed.

Brian made a face as if he just tasted something bad.

"Are you fucking serious with that thing?" Brian asked averting his eyes from the offensive garment.

Emmett turned the sparkly, spangled black Matador shirt around and looked upon it with discerning eyes.

"But it's got pizzazz written all over it!" He concluded.

"It's got ‘I'm a fucking pathetic fag' written all over it." Brian quipped

"And how the fuck did that atrocity get into my wardrobe anyway?" He added.

Brian's patience was wearing thin. This shouldn't be that difficult! His mind protested.

 

He'd been holed up in his hotel room for the past hour with Emmett, (God only knows why he asked Emmett to help him with this particular task,) trying to find the right outfit to wear on his and Justin's first....gulp, yes boys and girls, he was going to say the word..

Date.

Brian fucking Kinney was going to take his partner of ten years out on his first fucking official date ever. The trouble was, Brian Kinney didn't do dates. Oh he tried once, and ended up fucking the waiter.

How ironic was it that Justin's first memory was of him telling him about that historic event and now almost two decades later he was about to embark on his second attempt at a, gulp...

Date...

He could only hope the waiter was ugly as fucking sin this time around.

"Brian Aidan Kinney! This is your first date with Justin! Don't you want to look pretty?" Emmett asked cheekily.

Brian's jaw dropped at Emmett's use of the word ‘pretty' in conjunction with his appearance.

"Oh no you didn't!" He fumed reaching out to snatch the gaudy piece of clothing from Emmett's hand.

Emmett screeched and jumped out of Brian's reach.

"I do NOT do pretty!" Brian bellowed at Emmett who had successfully positioned himself by the bedroom door, primed for a hasty exit if need be.

Emmett laughed.

Brian snorted.

"And since when do you use my middle name? God I haven't used it since I was a kid." Brian said turning away from Emmett to continue his search for the perfect outfit.

Fuck he was pathetic!

"It just popped into my head. Joan's been thinking a lot about her brother lately." Emmett explained.

 

Brian grunted something unintelligible.

Aidan O'Hara was Brian's uncle, whom he didn't even know existed until six years ago.

He didn't like that his mother was thinking about her dead brother these days. It wasn't a good sign. She'd been in remission for the past several years, and Brian wanted to keep it that way. Thoughts of her dead brother, and the circumstances surrounding his death could not be good for her health.

"What exactly is she saying?" Brian asked.

Emmett carefully crept back into the room, keeping the shirt well out of Brian's reach.

"Oh nothing really. She was just reminiscing a bit about him. You know every year during this time she gets depressed. This year was a litter harder on her, you know with Justin disappearing and all." Emmett said.

Brian looked over at him with questioning eyes.

"What ‘time of year' are you fucking talking about?" He asked.

Emmett put his hands on his hips; the now forgotten shirt dangled from his clenched fingers.

"You really don't pay attention do you? I'm talking about the anniversary of your uncles' death! Jesus Brian, your mother made sure you carried his name in an attempt to keep his memory alive. The least you could do honor his death! Considering he died from a fatal gay bashing!" Emmett lectured him angrily.

Brian blinked twice. He'd forgotten. His mother told him the story of how his uncle Aidan was murdered on a hot summer day in...

"June...." Brian gasped out, the air suddenly leaving his lungs.

A wave of dizziness overtook him and he stumbled, falling against the bed.

"Brian!" Emmett screamed, dropping the shirt and racing to his side.

"Em, June. Aidan was murdered in June. June what? What fucking day was Aidan killed?" Brian demanded breathlessly. His heart was pounding furiously in his chest.

He knew Aidan died in June, but he had no idea the exact date of his death. Why would he? He never knew his uncle. Brian was unaware he even had an uncle until Joan divulged that information on the day of his intervention. And then, as fate would have it, several months later, Brian and Justin became guardians to Aidans daughters' children, Jagger and Lizzy.

Emmett helped Brian on to the bed.

"When was the last time you took your blood pressure medicine?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know, now answer the fucking question! When was the anniversary of my uncles death?!" Brian asked again. A sweat started to break out on his brow.

Emmett rushed to get a glass of water and Brian's pills and handed them to him.

"Take these." He demanded.

"Fucking tell me!" Brian all but screeched.

"Take the fucking pills first, then I'll tell you!" Emmett yelled back.

Brian snorted angrily and snatched the pills from Emmett's hands. He gulped them and the water down in one swallow.

"Ok, now tell me." He said.

"June 6." Emmett replied.

Brian's face went white.

June 6.

The day his brother Andy died.

The day a code blue was called on Justin when he was just two.

The day Justin got bashed when he was just a teen.

The day Justin almost died again when his car went over the bank just two weeks ago..

June 6.

It couldn't be a coincidence.

Brian groaned and dropped his head back against the pillow.

"Why???!!!'" He wailed out in frustration to the ceiling above him.

 _........Seek the lineage......_

The fucking voice was back.

"Can you fucking PLEASE give me another clue? I mean for fuck sakes, hasn't anyone taught you the rules? You give me a clue, I guess, if I'm wrong you give me another clue.... Is this ringing a bell for you? It was a popular TV game show in the seventy's, you MUST have seen it!" Brian spoke out to his tormentor, for that was what the voice in his head was quickly becoming.

Emmett sighed and sat on the bed besides Brian.

"Brian." He said softly.

Brian threw him a threatening look.

"Don't Honeycutt. I'm not a fucking lunatic. I just sound like one." Brian stated.

Emmett laughed.

"Honey, you've always been a bit crazy, but that's not what I was thinking." Emmett said.

Brian raised his brow. "Oh, and what were you thinking?" Brian inquired.

"I was thinking about the time I went to the fairy gathering. Do you remember? Michael went with me." Emmett said.

Brian gave him an odd look. "What the fuck Honeycutt, I'm the one talking to the ceiling, yet you're the one sounding crazy right now. Why in God's name would you be thinking about that now?" Brian asked.

"Just listen, ok?" Emmett said.

"Fine. Tell me about the fucking fairy gathering. It's better than listening the voices in my head." Brian quipped.

"Honey we all have those voices, some are just louder than others. Now let me finish! Where was I?" Emmett mused, placing his forefinger on his chin and looking off to the side in thought.

"You were at the fairy gathering. Hey, I do remember. Wasn't Mikey's fairy name Dim Sum or egg roll or some shit like that?" Brian asked tongue in cheek.

"No dummy, it was dumpling!" Emmett chided.

"Whatever." Brian returned.

"My fairy name was clearday, you know, as in Barbara Striesand's song, "on a clear day?" Emmett said.

"Honeycutt, is there a point to this?" Brian asked.

"Yes, and stop calling me Honeycutt, you've done it several times now." Emmett said.

Brian groaned and threw his forearm over his eyes.

"Don't get pissy. Now, as I was saying.. when I first went there it was to get my flame burning bright again. It kind of petered out when Ted and I were having those problems. Anyway, while I was there I helped this old fairy make a circle out of stone."

"Why the fuck was he making a circle out of stone?" Brian asked.

"It's not important! Will you just shut up and let me finish the story!" Emmett huffed.

"Ok, ok, don't get your panties in a twist." Brian relented.

"ANYWAY.. While I was helping him build his circle, he told me that in the outside world, his name was Harry Hayes, but there, at the gathering, he was known as Ariel. Lovely gentleman. He helped me get my flame burning bright again! He was an amazing man and fairy and I will never forget him." Emmett said; a wistful look on his face.

"Um, that's a very touching story Em." Brian said looking at Emmett as if he just lost his mind.

"I'm not finished. Later that night, I shared my experience with the group. The leader of the circle looked at me funny when I explained how I helped Harry Hayes build his circle and how he helped me rekindle my flame. He pulled me aside and told that Harry Hayes was the founder of the fairy gathering." Emmett said, and then paused for dramatic effect, making sure he had Brian's full attention.

Brian rolled his eyes at Emmett, always the fucking drama queen. He motioned for him to continue.

"And...that Harry had died two years earlier." Emmett made the announcement with much aplomb.

Brian's mouth dropped open.

"What the fuck are you saying Em?" Brian asked.

"I'm not saying anything. I'm just telling you about an experience I had awhile back. Now I'd like you to tell me about the experience you are having now." Emmett said cagily.

"I'm experiencing a headache right now." Brian snapped.

"You damn well know what I'm talking about Bri." Emmett's voice took on a serious tone.

"What's going on with Jason? Or maybe that's the wrong question. Maybe I should be asking who the fuck is Jason? Cause honey, I know that boy is NOT the same boy that came to Lizzy's graduation party. It's like he's a different person." Emmett daringly stated.

Brian cursed and sat up in bed.

"Maybe you should mind your own fucking business!" Brian retorted.

"Maybe you should cut the crap and tell me the truth." Emmett challenged.

"You're crazy Honeycutt. Who the fuck else would Jason be?" Brian said, avoiding giving Emmett a direct answer.

"Oh, I don't know. But if I had to guess, I'd guess Andy, your brother." Emmett said.

Brian's eyes snapped to him.

"And how could that be possible?" Brian asked amazed at how perceptive Emmett was, yet wary of how much he should reveal to him.

"Honey, I just told you that I talked to a dead man, even helped him build a stone circle, and you're going to stand there and ask me how it's possible? How the fuck do I know! I do know however, that I DID talk to Harry Hayes, and I think you are talking to your brother, through Jason somehow." Emmett dove in with his suspicions, heedless of the possible consequences.

Brian sighed, unable, or maybe unwilling, to hide the truth from Emmett any longer. He decided, ‘what the fuck', and shared with Emmett the events surrounding Andy's reappearance in his life.

He started by telling him of Andy's involvement in his and Justin's life's since the beginning; from his premonition of Justin when he was just a boy to his intervention when Brian nearly killed himself after Justin was bashed, (which elicited a horrified gasp from Emmett) to his latest involvement in their lives.

He explained that as a result of Andy's actions, (crossing over into this world and yanking Justin from that river), Justin's soul was stunned, much like a deer caught in headlights, and it was now up to him to ‘snap him out of' it's currant dormant state.  
In order to do that, Brian told him he had to make Justin fall in love with him all over again, hoping that when he did, his soul would awake.

He then went on to tell Emmett of the connections he'd been making since Andy's appearance like the date June 6th, and how tragedy has struck in both his and Justin's family on that date time and time again.

Finally, and somewhat reluctantly, he told Emmett about the voice in his head, who he assumed was Andy's Angel, Gabriel, who kept advising him to "Seek the Lineage." Which James was currently doing for him. Investigating their respective family trees in hopes of finding the connection.

 

By the time Brian was done, Emmett's eyes were wide with awe.

"Oh Brian! It's all so...so..."

"Ghost Busters meets Hardy Boys?" Brian filled in.

Emmett smacked his forearm.

"No! It's a miracle." Emmett said.

Brian huffed out a sarcastic laugh.

"Miracle? Other than the opportunity to be with my brother again, this whole situation is tragic! Em, bad things have been happening to us for years, possibly starting generations ago. There is a tradition of pain and suffering that I have to destroy, before it destroys us." Brian said solemnly.

Emmett nodded his head in understanding and wiped a tear from his eye. His heart went out to Brian. He was carrying this burden alone. He needed Justin now more than ever to help solve this mystery, yet Justin was currently incapable of helping anyone, including himself.

He let out a soft hiccup and turned to Brian.

"And you will. We will, together. You, me, James and Andy. Why else would your brother be here? To help you of course. Together, we'll find the root of all this and rip it out!" Emmett said pulling Brian in for a hug.

Brian let himself be engulfed by Emmett, surprised at his own need to be hugged at that moment.

Emmett let another tear or two drop before he released Brian and got up from the bed. He bent over to retrieve the Matador shirt that was lying on the floor.

"Now, back to the business at hand." Emmett said with a wry grin as he waved the shirt in front of him.

"I do believe you've a date to get ready for." He said.

Brian laughed at Emmett's antics. He just wouldn't give it up. Ah well, he thought, if Emmett wanted to see a miracle, he'd only have to look in a mirror. It was nothing short of miraculous that he and Justin were blessed with such friends who have stood by them through the best and worse of times. Emmett almost died because of his loyalty to them. And still he remained a most trusted, devoted friend.

It was almost enough to make him give in and wear that hideous shirt just to make him happy.

Almost...

 

 

******************************************************

 

"You look like shit." Julie remarked as she walked up to Corrine who was busy scribbling some notes down in a patients file.

Corrine looked up and curled her lip in a sneer at her friend.

"That's what I love most about you Juls, your unflinching conviction to tell the truth, no matter how brutal." She responded.

"I was just making an observation, if you want brutal honesty, how's this, you're a coward." Julie said.

"I'm not a coward. If I were, I'd be running not hiding." She said half jokingly.

 

Corrine had come in to work today, on her day off, looking for distraction, and more importantly, an escape. She literally buried herself in paperwork and patients all day, not taking one break. It was nearly 9 pm and she was still at the hospital and still avoiding facing the repercussions of her actions last night.

"Uh huh. Nice try, but running, hiding, it's all the same. Stop your bullshit and go talk to the man." Julie said.

"I can't. I'm just not ready to see him again, not yet. I think I'll sleep here tonight." Corrine sputtered nervously.

Julie made a rude sound.

"You know he's not going to let you get away with that. He is determined to talk to you, and the longer you keep putting him off, the more determined he'll get. Hell, he called me twice today." Julie said.

"I'm sorry Julie, he shouldn't have done that." Corrine said.

"Nonsense. He knows we're best friends. He's very concerned Corrine." Julie said.

"Well he'll just have to get over me. He's young, he'll bounce back." Corrine said.

"Yeah, but will you? Come on Corrine, cut the shit. You've got it bad for this guy. Don't let yourself get hung up on his age." Her friend advised.

"He's eleven years younger!" Corrine all but shouted.

"That may be true, but from where I'm standing, YOU'RE the one acting like a child!" She threw back.

"You're right. I did act like a stupid teenager. I should have never slept with him." Corrine muttered.

Julie laughed.

"Honey from what you told me, you more than slept with him. You fucked his brains out." Julie said taking pleasure in watching the blush creep up her friends' neck.

"Another stupid mistake was telling you!" Corrine threw back.

"Seriously, you're going to have to face him sooner or later. Better to get it over with now." Julie said.

Corrine sighed. Her friend was right. She had been avoiding Jagger all day. It was bad enough she snuck out on him this morning while he still slept. She knew he had to be furious over that. But the truth was she just couldn't handle facing him after exposing herself physically and emotionally to him the way she did last night. She felt vulnerable, and confused. She needed to get away to think for she couldn't think when he was near. She could only ‘feel' in his presence.

And that was the problem. She felt way too much for him and there were so many reasons why that was a very bad thing. The age difference was just one of the reasons why a relationship with him wasn't going to work. He was just getting his career off the ground and with his talent Corrine knew there'd be no boundaries. He was going to make it big and she didn't want to be in the way of his success. He'd be traveling all the time, experiencing new people and places. She didn't want him to be tied down with a girlfriend. He was young and deserved to live his life to the fullest.

But the main reason she didn't want a relationship with him was because she didn't think she could survive the heartbreak she knew was coming down the road. It was already breaking knowing she had to let him go, and God forgive her, but after last night, she didn't ever want to let him go. No one had ever made her feel the way he did. And it wasn't just sexual, it was so much more. They connected in a way that was uncanny. She knew deep in her heart that she'll never feel like that again.

 

"Hello? Anyone home?" Julie's voice interrupted Corrine's thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking." Corrine said.

Julie handed her, her handbag.

"Well stop that. It never leads to any good. Your stud is in the parking lot, waiting by your car. Go." Julie said.

Corrine took the bag from Julie's hand.

"How do you know he's waiting for me by my car?" She asked.

"Cause I saw him there when I went out for lunch today. He told me he was going to wait there until you came out." She said.

"But that was almost eight hours ago! I'm sure he's gone by now!" Corrine protested.

"Um, wanna bet? That boy does NOT look like the type to give up easily." Julie said.

Corrine shook her head in disbelief.

"What am I going to do?" She asked.

"Fuck if I know. But you'll figure it out." She said.

The two ladies walked out of the hospital building together, and much to Corrine's surprise, Julie was right.

Jagger was waiting for her by her car.

 

**************************************************

"Fuck!" Brian cursed as he gaped at the stain on his black Armani slacks; a horrified expression marred his handsome features.

Justin held his sides and feel over on the grass, laughing hysterically.

"I'm glad you find this funny." Brian said trying to sound serious, but failing miserably.

Justin just continued to laugh so hard tears rolled down his cheeks.

Brian had taken Justin to La Canard, a private French restaurant that he was lucky to get a reservation at. It was one of those times he was glad to have Aunt Viv in the family. She had standing reservations at the exclusive cafe.

Brian was pleasantly surprised to see that La Canard lived up to its reputation. Everything about the place screamed ‘elegance and romance'. The décor was 16th century French renaissance mixed with a touch of Moulin Rouge. The food was rich and exotic with its heavy cream sauces and herb stuffed pheasants. The service was top notch, the waiters...ok, so the waiters were hot but it was to be expected in an establishment with a five star rating and a two-year waiting list. He was sure Justin would be blown away by the place.

He was wrong. Justin gave the place a once over, mumbled something about how ‘nice' it was and then ordered their food to go. He then proceeded to drag him up here to this God-awful pasture to have a picnic under the stars.

If he weren't such a jaded man, he'd believe Justin's desire to dine outside was purely a romantic gesture on his part, but he suspected his blondes' thinking was more calculated then that. Justin wanted to get him away from the hot waiters. Not that he could blame him. They were hot, and he hadn't had sex is way too long.

But now he was forced to endure an evening swatting away annoying bugs and eating off the ground instead of being doted and waited on by the lovely staff at that exquisite restaurant.

"I'm sorry, but you should see your face." Justin managed to spit out.

Brian growled.

"Do you know how much these pants cost?! I'll never get these grass stains out." Brian complained.

Though he purchased everything they needed to set them up for this little impromptu picnic, the table cloth wasn't wide enough for them both and all the food. Brian had accidentally knelt in the wet grass trying to set up their feast.

"God you're such a queen." Justin said then started laughing all over again.

Brian looked at him. He drank a lot of the wine on the way up. Apparently it was taking affect. Brian didn't want Justin drunk.

"Ok, enough booze for you young man." He said as he finished putting out the food.

"You didn't take any pain meds before I picked you up, did you?" He asked with concern.

"No, I didn't. Stop worrying. I'm just feeling good." Justin said.

He titled his head flirtatiously and gave Brian a huge smile.

Brian sucked his breath in at the sheer brilliance of that smile. Ten years and his heart still did little flips each time Justin smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're happy." He said then settled down on the blanket next to him.

They started eating in silence, enjoying the warm summer evening breeze, and the beautiful bright stars that shone above them like a million tiny candles over their private little dinner.

Brian had to admit, it was ridiculously romantic. He watched Justin as he gazed up into the heavens, chewing on a succulent piece of seasoned pheasant. The full moon loomed magnanimously above them casting its iridescent beams over Justin's features giving him an ethereal look. No manufactured lighting or muted candlelight could create the vision he was witnessing. God he was so fucking beautiful.

As if reading his thoughts, Justin turned to him.

"See, isn't this much better than that fancy restaurant?" He asked.

"Hmm.. I suppose. But you would have enjoyed La Canard if you'd given it a chance. Admit it, you dragged me out of there because the waiters were too hot, and you wanted me all to yourself." Brian said cockily.

Justin laughed. "Well that's true enough, but that's not why I had to get out of there." Justin said then immediately regretted letting that slip.

Brian furrowed his brow.

"What do you mean, ‘had to get out'?" He asked.

"Never mind." Justin said then reached for the wine.

Brian grabbed it away from him.

"No, tell me. You're not going to get your memory back if you start hiding your feelings from me." Brian said.

Justin sighed.

"It's nothing really. Just, well, the place was beautiful, and when we first entered I was really excited but then I heard the music and I had to get out. It made me very uncomfortable." Justin confessed.

Brian narrowed his eyes; trying to recall what music they were playing at the restaurant.

"The music made you uncomfortable?" He asked confused.

"Not the music, the musician. The violinist." Justin said.

Brain's face went stiff. Justin picked up on it immediately.

"That means something, doesn't it?" He asked.

"Yes, it does." Brian said but refused to elaborate.

"Tell me. Why would a violinist make me uncomfortable?" Justin asked.

"It's not a particularly nice memory for us." Brian said.

"Fuck that. Any memory is better than none. Please, Brian, tell me. What the fuck is it with violinists and me?" Justin asked.

Brian growled. "Did you fucking have to put it that way?" He asked suddenly growing angry.

Justin threw his hands up frustrated.

"Now you're mad and I don't fucking even know why! What?! Tell me!" Justin demanded frustrated.

Brian gritted his teeth and turned to Justin.

"You left me for a fucking violinist!" Brian blurted out.

Justin snapped his head back at the hurt he heard in Brian's voice.

"No fucking way! I don't even like violin music!" Justin said.

"Well you did at the time!" Brian yelled at him.

"No I DID NOT! I told you I just needed to get away from you cause you were driving me fucking nuts! Besides, it wasn't your clothes that were thrown out on the streets, it was mine! So what are you complaining about?!" Justin countered.

Brian gasped.

"Fuck! Justin you remember that?" He said, his anger now gone, replaced by excitement at Justin having another memory.

Justin blinked a few times, not realizing what he just said.

"Oh my God, YES! I came to your loft, you wanted to tell me something." Justin said, trying to bring the memory into focus.

Brian got up on his knees and pulled Justin to him, careful not to put pressure on his injured leg.

"Yes, that's right. I wanted to tell you I was going to New York." Brian filled in eagerly, yet careful not to divuldge too much. He wanted Justin to remember as much as possible on his own.

"Think Justin, what else do you remember?" He asked.

Justin squinted and put his tongue in his cheek, trying to remember more details.

"I remember feeling...angry and frustrated, and wondering if you'd ever forgive me and let yourself love me." Justin whispered.

Brian nodded silently encouraging Justin to go on.

"Did you?" He asked nervously.

"Yes, long time ago." Brian assured him.

Justin let his breath out and hugged Brian to him.

"I'm glad." He said.

Brian held him close, enjoying the feel of him, rejoicing in the moment. It was another memory. Progress. Soon... soon Justin would return to him.

 

"Oh my God Brian!" Justin said pulling away from him.

"What?" Brian asked cautiously.

"You fucked me against a beam!" He said excitedly.

Brian laughed.

"Yes I did, and on the floor, and again in our bed at our loft..."

"And we dance!" Justin blurted out as another memory hit him, a different memory.

Images were flying through his head so fast he couldn't keep up.

Flashing lights, thumpa thumpa music, lots of men, beautiful men, Brian holding him, dancing...

Justin sat back down on the blanket, and held his head.

"Easy Sunshine. Breathe." Brian said.

He could tell Justin was starting to remember, too much, too soon. The doctor warned him against this. He needed to keep Justin calm.

"Brian, we dance. A lot. We love to dance. We're good at dancing." Justin mumbled, more to himself then Brian.

"And we fuck a lot. We're good at fucking too." He continued.

Brian rubbed his back and just let him sort his thoughts out.

"Yes, we're very good at both." He confirmed.

"Try to breathe Justin. Stop thinking. You don't want to remember too much, too soon." Brian urged.

Justin looked up at him.

"Why? I want to remember. I DO remember!" Justin said.

"I know, but the doctor said you got to take it slow. You can't have your whole life crashing in on you at one time. It will be too much for your brain." Brian said.

"Fuck that! I can't stop now, it's starting to come back!" Justin said stubbornly.

"You have to! It's too much too soon, concentrate on something else!" Brian warned.

Justin made an annoyed sound.

"Like what?" He spat out sarcastically.

Brian locked his eyes on Justin's mouth.

"Like this." He said then covered Justin's mouths with his.

It worked. All thoughts left Justin the moment Brian's lips touched his.

He melted into him and they both fell back against the blanket, headless of the fact they were now laying on top off all that rich French food.

Brian growled deep into Justin's mouth and rolled over until Justin was laying on top of him .

He deepened the kiss and ground his hips up against Justin's. It had been so long, too long, since he had sex and his body was not to be denied.

Justin was in the same state. Since the first day he laid eyes on Brian, his body screamed to be joined with his. His mind however rebelled. But tonight the ‘thumpa thumpa' beat in his head and visions of him and Brian grinding against each other filled his brain and fueled his desire.

He writhed on top of Brian needing to feel all of his body against his own. He was wild and frantic as he ripped at Brian's shirt and attacked his chest with his mouth.

Brian threw his head back and moaned loudly, the sound echoing through the hills mimicking that of a wolf howling in heat.

Justin lavished Brian's nipples with his tongue, reveling in the smell and sweet salty taste of him.

Hot molten desire coursed through his body as images of Brian continued to flash through his head.

Brian dancing under strobe lights... Brian drinking at the bar, hot and sweaty, looking sexy as fuck. Brian, up against the wall in a dark room, his head thrown back in ecstasy as he was receiving a blowjob ...Another vision of Brian fucking someone else against the wall. Brian fucking the zucchini man on the couch.....

Justin's heated passion quickly turned into heated rage as memories of Brian and other men flooded him.

He pulled away from Brian so abruptly, Brian felt like he fell off a cliff from the loss of contact.

"What the fuck Brian!" Justin yelled as he sat up and straddled Brian's hips, careful not to put too much weight on his injured leg.

Brian looked up at him confused.

"Are you serious? You're stopping now???!!!" He asked frustrated.

Justin put his hands on his hips.

"How many men have you fucked?!" Justin asked, his blue eyes blazing.

"Jesus fucking Christ that was a million fucking years ago!" Brian said frustrated.

"Yeah well I'm just remembering it now! You cheating fuck!" Justin blasted him.

Brian swore long and viciously.

"I NEVER CHEATED!" He said.

"I can't fucking believe we're going to have this conversation all over again! Justin, it happened, we dealt with it, we moved on. I know you're just remembering it, but..."

"But nothing! How can you say you never cheated?" Justin asked clearly enraged at this point.

Brian sat up, pushing Justin off of him.

"Listen to me, are you listening?" He growled into Justin face.

Justin didn't flinch away. "Yes, I'm listening." He said.

"When we first met I only believed in fucking. I didn't believe in love. I told you that from the beginning. You accepted it. It was who I was! You were just seventeen yourself and discovering your own sexuality. We were not monogamous. True, I was more sexually active then you, but you knew this. I never cheated. You left me for the violinist not because I fucked other men, but because I didn't tell you what you needed to hear." Brian said.

Justin narrowed his eyes. "And what was that?" He asked.

Brian let out a long breath. "That I loved you." He said.

"And did you?" Justin asked.

"Yes, I did, do." Brian answered.

"So what happened to ‘I don't believe in love'?" Justin countered.

"You changed that." Brian said quietly.

Justin's anger started to dissipate.

"And now?" Justin asked warily.

"Now, the only time I fuck anyone else is when you want to bring someone else into our bedroom." Brian answered.

Justin snorted.

"Me??? I can't believe I would participate in a threesome." He said.

"Sometimes more." Brian said tongue in cheek.

"You're teasing me." Justin huffed.

"Um, no I'm not Sunshine. I told you the other day that we only trick together these days. Remember? As I recall, it turned you on." Brian challenged.

Justin blushed deep crimson.

"Yes, I remember. But it's still hard to believe much less imagine that "I" would be the one initiating it!" Justin sputtered, clearly embarrassed.

"I've learned some time ago that I'm not happy unless you are, hence I leave any extra sexual activities up to your discretion, but don't freak out, it very rarely happens anymore. Actually we've only indulged once since we started doing it raw. Neither of us likes the six month wait to do it raw again afterwards." Brian confessed.

Justin's eyes widened at that little bit of information.

"Ok, wait. Doing it raw I understand. But why the long wait in between?" He asked.

Brian looked at Justin oddly then reminded himself that Justin's memory loss included odd little common known facts.

"Aids." Brian answered then waited to see understanding in Justin's eyes.

Justin searched his memory. Aids.

"Andy died of Aids." Justin said.

"Yes." Brian answered.

Justin shook his head.

"Wait, how can that be? Andy is back at the house with Adeline." Justin asked clearly confused.

 _‘Great, how the fuck do I explain this'?_ Brian thought.

"Justin, you just have to trust me on this. It's very confusing, and frankly, implausible. I can't explain it but the person you know as Andy, is really Jason Albright. You are just ‘seeing' him as Andy." Brian tried to explain.

Justin moved away from Brian.

"Well I'm not the only one." He said distrustfully.

"No you're not. I too see him as Andy, as does Rena, our sister, but if you notice, everyone else calls him Jason." Brian said.

He knew this was way too much information for Justin to handle, but he also knew Justin would not let it drop until he got some answers. He would push and push. Experience taught him that it was best just to tell him the truth straight out and let the chips fall where they may.

"What are you saying Brian?" Justin asked.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and lowered his head.

Several minutes passed in silence. Justin sensed Brian's distress.

He reached over and placed his hand on Brian's shoulder.

"Tell me. I can handle it." He said.

Brian raised his head and looked over at Justin.

"Andy died of Aids when he was just 17...."

 _‘the same age Justin was when we first met'_ he thought.

"And?" Justin prompted when Brian hesitated, seemingly lost in thought.

Brian shook his head. Another connection.

"And his soul has never left me. Left us." Brian said.

"Brian, you're not making sense." Justin said.

"When I was thirteen, Andy drew me a picture of you. He ‘saw' you before I ever met you. He had what you would call ‘visions' or premonitions. Throughout my life, and yours, he's been watching us. His soul has always been with us. When your car went over the bank, you were drowning and Andy reached down..."

 

"He pulled me out! That's right, I remember! I grabbed his hand and he..." Justin trailed off.

"My God Brian how is that possible?" Justin asked astonished.

"I haven't a fucking clue Sunshine. But because he reached from his world to ours, you lost your memory, and worse of all, your soul was shocked into a stupor. It's why you don't ‘feel' me. We're soul mates and you can't recognize me. Andy was sent here to help us. How, I don't know, but his soul is currently in Jason Albrights body. And the longer he stays in his body, the longer Jason Albright is denied his life." Brian tried to explain.

"Ok, I'm following you so far. But who is Jason Albright then?" Justin asked.

Brian smiled at Justin. He may not remember him, but he instinctively trusted him. He was telling him what was equivalent to a ‘fairytale' and Justin took it as absolute truth simply because it was he, who was telling him.

"Jason Albright is Lizzy's boyfriend." Brian answered.

"Lizzy! That's right. You were going to tell me who she was tonight. Oh, and something about a show she was putting on." Justin remembered.

"Lizzy is Jaggers sister, and the show is an Art show. But it's not her work being exhibited." Brian explained.

"Jagger's sister? Our son Jagger?" Justin asked.

"Yes."

It took all of one minute for Justin to realize what Brian was telling him.

"Another child!? We have a daughter too?" he asked.

"Actually..." Brian said, unsure whether to tell him the whole truth at this point.

"Nooo!" Justin said smiling broadly.

"You find something humorous?" Brian asked.

"I find it delightful! I LOVE the idea we have lots of kids! How many, tell me!" Justin said excitedly.

Brian shook his head. Justin never ceased to amaze him.

"Seven."

Justin stopped smiling.

"Holy shit.." Justin whispered and flopped back against the blanket.

"Seven kids! Someone should have told us enough already!" He said turning his face to look up at Brian who was sitting next to him, picking off pieces of food from his shirt.

Brian laughed.

"Never enough. Always been my motto. At least when it comes to you, and our family." Brian said smiling down at him.

"Ok, tell me about them." Justin said settling down besides Brian.

Brian told him about Lizzy, Johnny and Gus, giving him great detail on each. Justin drank it all in. He wanted to meet them all. Brian held back on telling him about the twins just yet. He wanted him to digest their non-biological children first, before he told him about their decision to have a surrogate carry for them.

"God has truly blessed us hasn't he?" Justin said, tears forming in his eyes.

With each detail Brian told him about their children, Justin's heart clenched. He wanted so badly to remember them. Though he was getting bits and pieces of his memory back, it wasn't coming back fast enough.

"Yes, and no. Justin we've had some really hard times. Near fatal times. We may be blessed in many ways, but we're also cursed. I believe it's why Andy is here, to help lift the curse." Brian said.

 _........."See, and you didn't need a clue from me to figure that out."........._

Brian's eyes widen in surprise at the words spoken in his head.

"Shit. A curse. As in witches and curses and shit?" Brian asked.

Justin looked at him funny.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

Brian's eyes snapped to him.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking out loud." He answered. His blonde had more than enough information to deal with for one night without knowing his partner not only heard voices in his head, but carried on full conversations with them.

"So you think we're cursed? Like someone put a curse on us?" Justin asked.

 

Brian looked to the stars.

"Well?" He asked.

 _..........."Seek the lineage"........_

Came the answer.

"Fuck! I knew it was too good to last." He said and sighed.

He turned back to Justin who was still looking at him funny.

"I'm going to go with yes. I think we've been cursed some where along the line. Now I just have to figure out when, why and by whom." Brian said.

Justin sat up.

"Oh, is that all?" Justin said.

"I know it sounds impossible, but trust me Sunshine, together we can achieve the impossible." Brian said then leaned over and kissed Justin's lips.

Justin opened his mouth to receive Brian's kiss. Their tongues dueled their familiar dance and Justin gave himself over to Brian's passions. His head was spinning from all that was reveled tonight, he just wanted to stop thinking, and start feeling.

Brian could accomplish that with little ease. Justin raised his arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him down to him.

Brian shifted his body so that he was laying in-between Justin's legs. He placed his hands on either side of Justin's head and rotated his pelvis over Justin's creating friction between their cocks. He grinded against his boy mindlessly.

Justin instinctively lifted his hips up increasing the pressure and matching Brian's rhythm.

"Justin..." Brian panted out his lovers name as he lifted his mouth from Justin's, breaking the kiss, yet continuing to grind furiously into his lover.

Justin thrashed his head back and forth, lost in his own passion as he increased his tempo, pushing harder into Brian.

"Fuck,...Bri....I.." He moaned incoherently, digging his fingers into Brian's forearms.

Brian could see the inner battle Justin was fighting. He wanted him, wanted more, but his mind was still rebelling.

Brian leaned over and whispered in Justin's ear.

"Please... I need you, let me love you..." He begged his lover.

Justin's eyes flew open at the need in Brian's voice. He stilled his body for a minute and Brian held his breath, hoping he hadn't pushed too hard, too fast.

He held Justin's stare, communicating with his eyes his need, his desires.

 

"I'm afraid.." Justin whispered.

Brian's heart clenched.

"I'll go slow." He said and kissed his temple.

"I promise."

Justin let out a deep breath and lowered his hands to unzip his pants.

Brian lifted himself off of Justin and helped him undress. He then removed his own clothes.

Once naked, he lowered the full length of his body over Justin's, making sure they had the maximum amount of skin-to-skin contact as possible.

The heat of Brian's body penetrated Justin's. He wrapped his arms around his back and let his hands roam over the taut smooth skin, experiencing him for the first time.

Brian let Justin get use to his body, though God knows where he found the strength to refrain from ravishing him. It was pure torture feeling his boys' hands and mouth roam over his body and not react. He wanted Justin to feel in control, allowing him to call the shots.

Justin took his time in exploring all of Brian's body. God he was beautiful. He smelled and felt as good as he looked. Justin rolled them to their sides so he could have better access to all of Brian.

He was long, and lean and powerful. Justin thought he'd look beautiful on canvas. He was truly a work of art. He smiled wondering where that thought came from.

Brian laid there and let Justin take his time in getting use to him. Every now and then he would flinch and Justin would smile at each new discovery of all of Brian's sensitive area's, and he branded each one to memory. Finally, his explorations found their way to Brian's cock. He wrapped his fingers around his shaft and gently stroked.

Brian hissed in pain.

"Easy Sunshine, you don't want me to cum just yet." Brian said.

Justin gave him an impish smile.

"Don't I?" He challenged.

Brian groaned reached out and grabbed Justin's cock, unable to refrain from touching him any longer.

Justin gasped.

"Touché'." Brian said grinning.

He then rolled Justin over on to his back and positioned himself above him.  
A flash of fear passed over Justin's eyes.

Brian pushed himself to his knees and grabbed Justin's leg. He slowly lifted them, and lowered himself so that the back of Justin's knees fell over Brian's shoulders. Justin's left leg, which had a soft caste on its shin, lay heavy against Brian's back.

Justin' breath quickened as he saw Brian reach over and pull something from his pocket. He turned questioning eyes to him.

"Lube." Brian explained as he applied a generous amount to his opening.

Justin let out a small gasp.

"It's cold."

"It will heat up."

Brian then positioned himself against Justin's entrance.

He slowly pushed forward, holding Justin's gaze, willing him to trust him.

Justin's mouth flew open and a small, surprised sound escaped his lips.

Brian stilled his motions.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Just...oh God,..." He couldn't finish his sentence as his body instinctively pulled Brian in.

It was Brian's turn to gasp in surprise though he shouldn't be. Justin's memory may be weak, but his body was well use to Brian's. This wasn't their first time.

"Fuck Brian, FUCK ME!" Justin growled pulling his knees back further so that Brian could fill him.

Brian wasted no time in granting his boy's wish. He pulled out and slammed back into him, over and over again, each time eliciting a small cry of ecstasy from his blonde.

"YES, YES..." Justin screamed and pulled Brian by his hair, forcing his mouth down onto his.

Brian grounded his mouth against Justin's as he plummeted his ass. They fucked like wild animals, each desperate and needy from being separated for far too long.

And it wasn't long before they were calling out each other's name as their orgasms came quick and hard, rippling through their bodies.

Brian held on to Justin, refusing to let him go for a long time afterwards. His body jerked as small electric currents continued to course through him with each tiny post coital quiver that escaped from his boys' body.

Justin let out a small sound signifying he was in pain.

Brian immediately reacted by removing Justin's legs from his shoulders, aware that the strain must be hurting his injured leg.

"Does your leg hurt bad?" He asked rubbing his thighs, trying to get his blood circulating through the leg.

Justin smiled up at him.

"It's just a small cramp. I'd fucking break it again if it meant having another orgasm like that." He said headily.

Brian chuckled deep in his throat.

"Well, you won't have to do anything that drastic. I'm sure we can manage another mind blowing orgasm and keep you in one piece." He assured him.

Justin shook his head.

"That's impossible. I literally fell to pieces, emotionally, with you inside me." Justin said, his voice taking on a serious tone.

Brian bit his bottom lip.

"I know, it's that way for me too." He said.

Justin closed his eyes and sighed contently.

"Brian.." He said, his eyes still closed.

"Yes?"

"I just remembered something else."

Brian held his breath.

"What?"

"I love you."


	15. The Curse

**We are enmeshed in a lineage that came from somewhere and is going to make way for the next generation.**

 **Leoan Kass**

 

Andy opened his eyes and blinked a few times trying to remember where he was. He gingerly swung his legs over the bed and sat up. A wave of dizziness hit him.

‘What the hell was in that tea?' He thought to himself.

He remembered having a bitch of a headache the night before. Most likely caused by Adeline's constant complaining about "Jacques" spending too much time with his ‘other' family, and not enough time with her. He begged off early, claiming to have a bad headache, which he did, and she offered him some medicinal tea.

She told him the brew was a special mixture of herbs and roots that Jacques developed to be used as a pain reliever and sedative. Apparently she'd been self-medicating herself with it for years. That didn't surprise him. He didn't have to be a doctor to see that she suffered from anxiety and depression. He was concerned however that she used the herbal narcotic on Justin. She told him she made him drink it every night for the first three nights after she brought him home to help him deal with the pain from his injuries. She assured him it worked like a charm.

He believed her. Not twenty minutes after he drank the strong brew he was feeling no pain. Everything from that point on was a bit foggy. He had no idea how he got into bed, or, (as he looked down at his current state of undress) how or who disrobed him. It was quite disconcerting. Maybe he just had an adverse reaction to what ever was in that tea, but if Justin drank it for three nights, he wasn't surprised his memory was shot. Andy's own memory was a bit shaky this morning.

"I was wondering if you were going to sleep all day. Rough night?" Brian asked leaning against the doorframe.

Andy looked over at him.

"What time is it?" He asked groggily.

"Noon." Brian said eyeing his brother suspiciously.

"Did you and Adeline get drunk or something last night?" Brian asked.

"No, why?"

"Cause you look like shit. What's up?" Brian asked.

Andy stood up. Another wave of dizziness hit him.

Brian rushed to his side sensing his distress.

"Whoa.... What the hell happened? Are you alright?" He asked grabbing on to his arm to steady him.

Andy took a deep breath. The dizziness was gone now, and his brain was starting to clear.

"Yeah, I'm fine, now. I had a headache last night and Adeline gave me some tea she said would get rid of it. It not only got rid of my headache, it pretty much kicked my ass! I can't remember a thing, though I've some vague images of laughing, and stumbling in here sometime during the night." Andy explained.

Brian frowned. "She shouldn't be doling out shit like that. She's not a fucking doctor." He said.

"I agree. You know she told me she gave the same tea to Justin when she first took him home." Andy said walking to the bathroom to relieve himself.

Brian followed him.

"What?! She drugged Justin!? He could have died! You know how allergic he is to everything!" Brian bitched, furious with Adeline for taking such a risk.

"You forget, she thinks Justin is her husband Jacques, who according to her used the tea for pain before. So why would she be concerned about giving it to him again?" Andy rationalized.

Brian furrowed his brow. He couldn't argue with Andy's logic, still, he hated knowing that Adeline gave Justin something that could have hurt him. It was one more reason why this charade had to end. He would talk to Justin about it as soon as he got back.

"So??? How did the date go?!" Andy asked walking back into the bedroom.

Brian's smile pretty much said it all.

"He remembers he loves me." Brian said almost shyly, which was sooo out of character for him.

Andy let out a ‘whoop' and pulled Brian in for a big hug.

"That's wonderful! He remembers you!" Andy declared gleefully.

"Well, not quite. He still doesn't remember a lot about me, or our life, but he does remember he loves me. He's just not sure who I am, yet." Brian tried to explain.

Andy narrowed his eyes. "So what you're saying is, in his mind, he's in love with a stranger?" Andy asked.

Brian laughed. "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." He said.

"Well knowing Justin, I'm sure he's totally loving the mystery and romance of the situation." Andy said.

"Yes, he is. And I'm not complaining." This time, the smile on Brian's face was more venal.

Andy laughed.

"Where is Justin anyway?" Andy asked.

"He's with Adeline. They drove to town to pick up supplies. He's taking her to lunch too." Brian said.

"Good. The more time he spends with you, the more paranoid she gets he's going to leave her." Andy said.

He pulled on some pants and walked out into the kitchen.

"I know, she cried when we came in this morning. Justin had a hard time calming her down. He's going to spend the day with her. Hopefully, they'll have a nice long, overdue chat." Brian said.

He walked over to the stove and put a pot of coffee on.

Andy sat at the table and drummed his fingers against the scarred wood.

"I think that's best. She needs to know the truth Bean. She was saying some scary shit last night." Andy said.

"Oh? Like what?" Brian asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She said that she couldn't ‘live' if she ever lost him again." Andy said giving Brian a pointed look.

"Fuck!" Brian spat out and pulled a chair out to join his brother at the kitchen table.

"You don't think she's suicidal, do you?" Brian asked.

Andy shrugged. "I don't know, but we can't take the chance." He said.

Brian nodded. "She may be worse off then I thought. I think we need to call Gilles in for help." Brian suggested.

"You might have a problem there. Justin promised her that he wouldn't let them put her away. You remember how scared she was going to the hospital. She wouldn't have gone if Justin didn't promise to protect her from that possibility. He won't break that promise." Andy said.

"He won't have to. I'll do it. It shouldn't be hard to get a court order to have her committed. She's delusional, depressed and possibly suicidal. Gilles will know how best to handle it." Brian said.

"And Justin will be furious with you. He feels the same as you about keeping his promises. You taught him that. He promised Adeline he wouldn't let that happen, he may fight you in court if it comes to it." Andy said.

Brian frowned. He hadn't thought of that.

"I'll talk to him. I'm sure if he understands she's a danger to herself, he'll do what's best for her, even if it means breaking his promise." He assured Andy.

Andy just nodded.

The coffee started perking and Brian got up to lower the flame.

"So what else did you two talk about? I mean when she wasn't drugging you up." Brian said sarcastically. He did not like the idea of Adeline dispensing powerful drugs to his family, regardless if it was homeopathic or not.

"What else? Jacques of course. I know his whole life. He was going to be a doctor you know. That was until he dropped out of school to marry Adeline. His family disowned him, and cut him off financially. But it didn't stop him from practicing medicine. He was self-taught, and took care of all their animals, even performed surgery on them. He was into ethonmedicine and,.."

"Into what?" Brian interrupted.

"Ethonmedicine. That's the use of plants for medicinal purposes. Seems Adeline picked up a few things from him. She makes one hell of a tea. Too bad she wasn't around when you were younger. I don't think Anita's bathtub "E" could hold a candle to her homeopathic hallucinogenic." Andy quipped.

Brian's jaw dropped. "How the fuck do you know about Anita?" he asked.

"Hey, you forget I've been watching you, your whole life." Andy said smiling.

Brian blushed, embarrassed. If his brother knew about his drug abuse, he must also know about all his sexual exploits.

"It's not what you think. It's hard to explain but I didn't actually ‘see' your life, more like felt it, and at certain times, when you were experiencing intense emotions, I heard your thoughts. The night after you met Justin for the first time, I heard you mention Anita, complaining she gave you some bad ‘shit'. That's all. That night and morning was one of the most emotional and confusing times in your life. I felt you strongly during that time. But not as strongly as I did the night Justin got bashed..." Andy said quietly.

Brian's stomach tightened at that memory. He avoided commenting and got up to shut the coffee off. He pulled down two cups and poured them each one. He brought the steaming cups over to the table.

"Hallucinogenic huh? That strong?" Brian asked, bringing the conversation back to Adeline.

He handed Andy his cup.

"Lets just say I had some pretty weird dreams. I think." Andy said.

"Remind me to have Adeline brew me some later. I'll let you know how it compares to Anita's E." He said with a wry grin.

Both brothers laughed. They drank their coffee in silence for a while.

"I explained to Justin our situation." Brian said.

"Everything?" Andy asked.

Brian nodded.

Andy whistled low. "Jesus Bean, how did he take it? He must think you're out of your mind!" Andy said.

"Actually, he believed me, no questions asked. I think on some level, he knew. Remember he was the only one who ‘saw' you as Andy. I didn't. You had to tell me. So it wasn't a great shock to him, in fact, it was probably a relief knowing that he wasn't crazy. Everyone else calls you Jason, yet he knows you as Andy." Brian said.

"He's truly amazing you know." Andy said smiling.

"I know." Brian answered.

"By the way, your Angel keeps talking to me." Brian said.

"Gabriel? No way! He hasn't talked to me in almost two days now!" Andy said.

"Yeah well don't get jealous. All he says is "seek the lineage". He's starting to sound like a fucking broken record. Any clue what he fuck he's talking about?" Brian asked.

The lineage

Andy felt a strange stirring inside of him. He put his coffee cup down and stared off into the distance. He was momentarily transported into another time, another place...

 

 

 _"Alex, go now!" His grandmother spoke._

 _"No! I won't. I can't." He protested, tears streaming down his face._

 _"I've seen my fate, you cannot stop it. You must go now; you are the only one left of our kind. You must carry on the line." She said._

 _He couldn't breathe.. He knew he couldn't save her, but he wanted to die with her._

 _"Grandmother.."_

 _"Alex, you must listen to me. My time is limited. There are things you don't know, things I never told you, but it's time you knew. Your mother was not one of us. She did not die in childbirth as you were told. She was the wife of a very wealthy man. A powerful man. Your father had an affair with her. She gave birth to twin boys. One born normal, the other born with the veil. You were the one born with the veil." She said._

 _Alex's blood ran cold. His grandmother always told him he was born with the ‘veil.' To their people, it was a gift from the Gods: a sign of a special destiny and psychic abilities. But to normal society, it was the mark of the devil. When a baby was born with the mark, it was instantly destroyed._

 _"The midwife who was suppose to take you to the river and drown you took pity and brought you to me, knowing my son was your real father. Your father and I raised you in our ways. Your brother has been raised in nobility, not knowing he has a twin. His Sire, never found out he wasn't the real father. He did however, find out that his wife had an affair with your father, my son..." His grandmother paused and crossed herself._

 _"Alex, your fathers death was no accident." She said._

 _Alex gasped. "Who is this noble man? I'll kill him!" He yelled furiously._

 _His grandmother shook her head. "I won't tell you. Never. He is a very powerful man. He will destroy you and your brother should he find out the truth. At all cost, you must protect your brother! He must NEVER know of you, do you understand? It will mean his own death. Alex, promise me you will obey me on this. You must go, save yourself and start anew, somewhere far away. Your gift is rare, you must continue our line. Leave this all behind, it will change nothing of my or your brothers' fate if you stay, it will however, change the fate of our people. Do you want to be responsible for the destruction of our line?" She said, knowing he could not refuse her request._

 _"But grandmother, how am I to leave you behind to die?" He asked._

 _"Because you have no choice. Stay, or go, my fate is sealed. Your fate however depends on you obeying my wishes. Besides, you know there is no death. Death is only a transition from one form of existence to another. The soul is eternal." She said._

 _Alex knew this in his head, and his heart. He also knew he would obey her and leave before they tried and sentenced him to his own death along with the other accused of witchcraft, but he would not leave until he witnessed his grandmothers murder. He would be brave and stay near, sending her all his powers, his strength, to help her ease over to her new existence. And when he did, he would curse all those responsible for her death and the loss of his only brother...._

 

 

"SLAP!"

"Andy!" Brian screamed bringing Andy's thoughts back to the present.

His face stung. He reached up to rub his sore cheek.

"Did you hit me?" He asked confused.

"Yes! You went into a trance. I couldn't get you out. What the fuck was that about!? You still feeling the affects of Adeline's tea?" Brian asked, fear evident in his voice.

Andy shook his head.

"No. I had a vision." He said.

Brian guessed as much, he just had to make sure.

"Tell me." He said.

"A past life. I was someone else." Andy said.

Brian flopped back down in the kitchen chair. Andy had the vision right after he asked him if he knew anything about the ‘lineage'. Obviously he did.

"Who?" Brian asked.

"Alexander O'Hara."

**************************************************

 

James sat at the long Irish Georgian mahogany dining room table across from Mrs. Abigail Elizabeth Preston-Dolton, sipping tea and nibbling on scones while she chatted cheerfully about her latest acquisition, which just happened to be an original Justin Taylor oil painting. Valued at thirty-two thousand dollars, she informed him, and delighted in revealing that she only paid twenty thousand for it.

James refrained from telling her that she could have gotten it for free, if she'd just mentioned to her grandson that she liked it. Somehow, he didn't think she'd appreciate being reminded of that. She took great pride in extolling her brilliant bargaining skills.

"I'm sure it's exquisite. And you're to be commending on getting the gallery owner to sell it to you at such an extraordinary price! I see were Justin gets his business sense from." James complimented.

In truth, Justin wasn't much of a businessman. He was creative as hell. Brilliant actually, but when it came to managing the business end of his art, and his school, he lacked the knowledge. It wasn't that he couldn't do it, he simply chose not to. It bored him, so he left that part of his career up to Brian's expertise.

Just as Brian left important artistic decisions at Kinnetik up to Justin. Justin headed up Brian's art department in Pittsburgh, and in New York. The directors in both locations reported to him, and he made final decisions on what passed Brian's desk, and what didn't.

"That and his good looks." Mrs. Preston-Dolton declared with a twinkle in her eye.

At ninety-six, the woman still had a lot of spunk and was as sharp as a tack. James found himself enjoying her company. But it was time to get to the point of his visit.

"Mrs. Dolton.."

"Please, call me Nana. Everyone does." She demanded.

James nodded his head in consent.

"Nana, I'm here because your grandson's partner, Mr. Kinney has taken a sudden interest in Genealogy and has asked me to research both yours and his family ancestry. He'd like to compile a log of both his and Justin's family history to hand down to their children." James explained.

Nana placed her napkin on the table and sighed deeply.

"You know I spoke to my daughter today. She tells me that Justin's memory is slowly returning. You have no idea how relieved I was. He's been through so much, I was sure it would end by now...." She said looking off to the side.

James narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"I'm sorry Nana, I know how upset you must be over the accident, but Justin is fine. He's survived a lot worse. He's very strong you know." James tried to reassure her.

"And I thank God for that every day." Nana said then rose from the table.

James rose with her.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." She said then turned to leave the room. Her legs seemed to move slower then they did earlier, and her usually stiff posture was now bent a bit.

James sat back down and wondered where she was going, and why she seemed so sad all of a sudden. He sensed it was more then Justin's recent accident that had her so melancholy.

Ten minutes later she returned carrying small book of sorts that was tied with a worn piece of string, in her hands.

James rose again when she reentered the room and pulled out a chair next to him for her to sit.

She took the seat and placed the old book in front of James.

"This is my great, great, great, great, great, grandmothers journal." She explained.

James smiled. "That was a mouth full. Seventh female ancestor?" He asked.

"Yes. Bright boy aren't you?" She said smiling at him.

"Seven generations." She affirmed, this time her voice took on an ominous tone.

James looked at the old, worn dark brown leatherbound journal apprehensively. He had a feeling there were secrets lying between those pages. Secrets best left kept, yet circumstances were not going to allow that.

"I'm named after her you know. Though all the woman in our family have maintain the Preston surname in our names, as a reminder, I was the only one named after the original." Nana said winking at James.

"No one else in the family had the balls to name their child after that woman." She added.

James could detect great pride in her voice.

"She must have been a remarkable woman." James commented.

"Oh she was. If not for her, I would not be here today. Our line would have ended years ago." She informed him.

James was now very curious.

"She sounds very brave. A family trait for sure." James said.

Nana smiled at him.

"You've no idea how brave, yet how foolish. As most brave men and women are. Her parents married her off at a very young age, to a very rich man. Jonathon Preston. Unfortunately she was in love with someone else. Someone who was not only not suitable, he was a social outcast." Nana said then laughed bitterly.

"Damn impulsive woman! Justin gets that from her you know. If she would have just stayed away from that man..." Nana said then shook her head, as if shaking her remorse away.

"But love drove her to do something very foolish. She continued her affair with this outcast while she was married. The results of that disastrous relationship were fatal, and the consequences lasted for the next seven generations." Nana said.

James raised his eyebrow curiously.

"How so?" He asked intrigued by the story she was weaving.

"Abigail was wild, reckless and impulsive. She risked it all to be with a man who was a Pagan. In her day, that was unthinkable. Pagans were devil worshipers. Abigail didn't believe in any of that. Foolish woman. That belief changed all too soon, and drastically." Nana said.

James was intrigued by Nana's cryptic words. He sensed there was one hell of a story here.

Nana settled back and folded her hands in her lap as she began the tale of her family's history.

"Abigail's dalliances with this Pagan resulted in an unexpected pregnancy. Of course she passed the babies off as her husbands, but those closest to her knew the truth." Nana confessed.

"Babies?" James asked.

"Yes, she gave birth to twin boys. Alexander and Jonathan. Though only one was allowed to live." Nana said regretfully.

"Why?" James asked.

"Back then you have to understand, religion and superstitions ruled societies thinking, and laws. Alexander was born with the ‘veil'. As his father was." Nana spoke in hush tones.

James shook his head and pursed his lips disapprovingly. He knew of the mark. He came from an old Russian family that dated back to the Czars. He'd often heard stories of children born with the veil, or mark of the devil. It was not understood back then as it is today.

The ‘veil' or caul, is simply a thin layer of membrane that sometimes, though rarely, hoods a fetus' face. It has to be cut away. It was believed by some in earlier times to be the work of the devil; others considered it a gift from the God's. Those who believed it was a gift often were practicing Pagans.

"I see you've heard of this condition." Nana said eyeing James.

"Yes I have. You know there are still those today who believe those born with the veil hold special psychic powers." He said.

"And those people would be right. Alex held such powers, as did his father, whom he was named after." Nana said.

"Wait, you said only one lived. The other was destroyed, as was the custom back then." James said.

"No, I said only one was allowed to live. The other was sent off with the midwife to die. But the midwife was friends with the mother of the man who fathered the children. She took Alexander to her." Nana explained.

James eyes widened at the tale being unfolded before him.

"What happened to the boy?" James asked.

Nana once again sighed deeply.

"He grew up with his fathers' family, learning their ways. From all accounts, everyone was happy for a while. Abigail raised Jonathon as a Preston, and Jacqueline, the twins' paternal grandmother raised Alex. Neither brother knew of the other, nor did Abigail know her other son still lived and was being cared for by her lovers mother. Alexander, her lover and father to her twins, never got the chance to tell her. One day, her husband found them together in a, lets just say compromising position. He was in such a rage; he killed Alexander, driving a pitchfork through him as he lay with his wife. Abigail writes it all in her journal. The pain and horror. The death she experienced seeing her lover slain." Nana sniffed back a tear. Her eyes strayed to the journal that lay on the table in front of her.

James reached out and put his hand over Nana's small wrinkled one, encouraging her to go on.

 

"Her husband arranged it so it looked like an accident. You see he was a nobleman and it wouldn't do for him or his wife to be caught in such a scandal. It was never spoken about again. After the incident, Abigail withdrew from society. She became a recluse. She writes that if not for her son, Jonathon, she'd have killed herself. A year later, she gave birth to another child, a girl this time. There was no question the child was her husbands. Alexander, her lover, had been dead too long by then." Nana said.

"So her lover was long dead, her secret must have died with him, right?" James asked totally wrapped up in the story.

Nana shook her head.

"Secrets like that never remain secret for too long. The tragedy though did not come from the truth being revealed, it came from the timing." She said.

"I don't understand." James said.

"Some years later, an unfathomable hysteria swept their village. It was the time of the Salem witch-hunts. Many innocent people were accused of witchcraft, including the midwife who saved Alex from his death. She was accused of practicing witchcraft with Jacqueline, Alex's grandmother. To save herself, she told the courts she only knew Jacqueline as the mother of Abigail's ex lover, exposing Abigail's affair and consequent birth of her bastards. She claimed she was just doing the bidding of her Mistress by keeping the affair a secret for so long, though she did not reveal that she brought the twin born with the mark of the devil to the grandmother instead of drowning it, as was the law. That confession would have sealed her fate. Abigail was shocked at the allegation. She was forced to deny the accusation in order to protect her son, Jonathon. If it were known that his real father was a warlock, they would kill him. So she told the courts that the midwife was lying. She accused Jacqueline of casting a spell over the midwife. Because she was of nobility, her testimony alone was enough convict Jacqueline of witchcraft. She was sentenced to burn at the stake. Abigail knew she was sending an innocent woman to her death, and in the process condemning her own soul to hell, but it was a price she was willing to pay to save her son from that same fate. You see, she was afraid that the Jacqueline would collaborate the midwifes' story and tell the courts that her son indeed had an affair with her all those years ago. She had no choice but to accuse her, before she was accused. She was protecting her son. As a result, Jacqueline, the midwife and several other innocent people were burned at the stake on the same day. It was also the day Alex cursed Abigail not knowing it was his own mother he was cursing." Nana said.

James jaw literally dropped open.

"Oh my God. The tragedy of it all." He whispered.

"It gets worse. Both Alex and Abigail were spectators on that day. As his grandmother burned, Alex approached Abigail, not knowing it was his mother, but knowing it was her testimony that condemned his grandmother to her death, and spat the curse in her face. She was shocked, not knowing who he was, and even more shocked and horrified at the curse itself. Here, look." Nana said opening the book to the page where her great, great, great, great, great grandmother had written down the words to the curse, memorizing each and every word.

She pointed one knarled bony finger to the top of the page for James to read.

"This is the curse...'

 

"...Before the night is over, before this day is through,  
For what you've done today, I cast this spell on you..  
Seven generations all male their blood to spill  
Pain, suffering and death, all this be my will   
To feed my vengeance I have sworn  
For each and every male that's born  
Until the wrong is right again  
This curse will never ever end..."

 

James read the curse and a chill went up his spine.

He looked over at Nana whose complexion turned very pale.  
He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright? Is there anything I can get you?" He asked.

A single tear fell from her face.

"He had no idea..." She said.

"He cursed himself too, didn't he?" James asked

Nana nodded. "And his own descendants." She added.

Of course, it made sense. Alex cursed Abigail's sons for seven generations not knowing he was one of her sons.

"But the worse, the true horror was at the end, right before the Midwife died, she screamed out the truth. She confessed, in a last minute attempt to save her soul, that she never killed Abigail Prestons' son, she gave him to Jacqueline to raise. In that moment, both Alex and Abigail discovered the truth, but it was too late. The curse was cast. Alexander was captured, and murdered on the spot. He never had a chance to undo the curse." Nana revealed.

"My God..." James whispered, not knowing how to react to such a tragic story.

"What about his children? Were his descendents affected by the curse?" James asked.

"I've no idea what happened to his line, if he even had children. I do however; know that the male descendants of Jonathon Preston have endured that curse for over three hundred years now. All the men in our family have suffered in one way or another. Mental illness, disease, personal tragedies, deaths, some accidental, some not..." Nana sighed.

"Justin..?" James asked the unspoken question.

Nana shook her head. "No, Justin should be spared. Seven generations have come, and gone. The curse should be over." She said.

James frowned.

"I just don't understand why bad things keep happening to him!" Nana said wearily.

"Sometimes bad things just happen Nana." James said soothingly.

"The good news is, Justin is fine." James said reassuringly.

Nana closed the book and handed it to James.

"You are right. There is no harm in giving Abigail's journal to my grandson. It is part of our history. Perhaps if he knew..." She said wistfully.

James took the book from her. He knew she was thinking the curse had not ended. James wasn't normally a suspicious man, but life has taught him one very important lesson: Nothing was impossible. And if there was a curse, he'd have to agree with Nana in assuming it wasn't over yet.

"I'd like to do some more investigating if you don't mind. Can you tell me what Alexander's surname was? Perhaps there was a child. It would be interesting to see if the males from his line suffered the same fate." James asked.

"Please do. Enough time has past this has got to end. I'd be curious to know what, if anything became of Alexander O'Hara's line." Nana said.

O'Hara. Joan O'Hara. Brian's mother's maiden name. Surely it was a coincidence James thought. Well, in any case, he knew where his next stop would be.

He got up and thanked Nana again, then turned to leave.

Nana walked him to the door.

"You'll let me know what you find out?" Nana asked.

James smiled and bent down to kiss her wrinkled cheek.

"I will. I'd like to start by investigating the families of all those who burned at the stake that day. Do you remember the date of the executions?"

"Every woman in our family for the past three hundred years has remembered and prayed on that day. Prayed for the curse to be lifted, for it was the day it was cast upon our family...

June 6th, 1692."


	16. When I Need You

**"Love is like Heaven, but it can hurt like Hell.."**

 

Corrine tiptoed across the plush beige carpet of the suite carrying her sandals in her hands, careful not to make any noise.

She reached for the knob of the hotel door, twisted and pulled.

 _"Shit! Shit! Shit!"_ She cursed under her breath as she looked up and saw the padlock.

She dropped her sandals and raced back into the bedroom.

"You put a padlock on the door!?" She screeched as she jumped on top of Jaggers sleeping form.

"What the fuck?!" Jagger cursed in confusion.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked up into Corrine's blazing ones. It took him all of a minute to register what was going on.

He pushed her off of him and sat up in bed, heedless of his naked state.

"Yes I put a padlock on the door!" He said.

"You had no right!" Corrine shot back.

Jagger snorted. "What's the matter Red? You angry cause I won't let you treat me like a whore?" He snapped.

Corrine gasped in shock at his words.

"What are you talking about?! If anyone is acting like a whore...." She trailed off, realizing a bit too late what she was saying.

"Please. Don't play the victim here. It doesn't suit you. I put that padlock on so you wouldn't run out on me again like I'm some God damned trick you can't get away from quick enough! Hell, if you insist on fleeing the minute your lust is abated, and your conscious sets in, you might as well leave some money on the table on your way out. At least that's more honest." Jagger said.

He knew he was being harsh, but he felt like his back was against the wall. Since the first night they fucked, made love, connected, whatever the fuck, she'd been avoiding him. Then last night, after waiting for her for over six hours in that fucking parking garage, she finally came out, and attacked him before he even got a chance to say hello. Not that he minded her lustful assault but he pretty much guessed she'd do something like that. He figured she'd do either one of two things when she saw him again.

1\. Tell him to go fuck himself, she never wanted to see him again.  
2\. Jump his bones.

His money was on option number 2 simply because the intense chemistry they shared didn't leave room for any other option. He was so fucking on to her.

She wanted him bad, but intellectualized she couldn't have him. Having solidified this belief in her head, she was not about to pass up the little time she ‘thought' she had with him before she'd have to let him go. Of course once she had her way with him, guilt and shame over her actions would sink in and she would slink away the first chance she got. Hence, the padlock.

Having deciphered her "MO", he came prepared this time and after pulling an all nighter fucking like he's never fucked before, he got up as she slept and put the padlock on the door so she couldn't run away like she did last time. This time, Jagger was determined they talk.

Corrine stared at him speechless. She couldn't deny his accusation. She was treating him like a whore. Fucking him recklessly, then running away, too ashamed of her behavior to face him. And that realization only made her feel more ashamed.

Jagger narrowed his eyes and reached for her.

"Don't." She said pulling away. She sat back on the king sized bed and faced him.

Jagger reached over to the nightstand and pulled a cigarette out from his pack. He lit it, took a drag and handed it to her.

She shook her head.

He shrugged his shoulders and took another drag as he pushed himself up and rested his back against the headboard.

"So Red, what's it going to be?" He said.

She lowered her head, and sighed, but she didn't speak.

Jagger reached over and picked the phone up.

"Here, call security. They'll get you out." He said handing her the phone.

She didn't take it.

He pushed it towards her again. "Go ahead. It's the only way you're getting out of here. That is unless you want to talk to me. "REALLY" talk. Then I might consider letting you out myself." Jagger offered.

Corrine shot him a deadly look and slapped the phone out of his hands. It went flying across the bedroom, landing on the floor by the window.

Jagger laughed and took another drag of his cigarette. Gotta love redheads. They lived up to their reps, he thought, well at least this one did. She was fucking fiery as hell.

"Bastard." She spat at him.

"Yeah, well that's what happens when you have a mother who'll fuck anyone just to get her next fix. God knows which one of those losers' jizz created me.." He spat out with a bitter laugh.

Instant pain and regret flashed across her pale features.

Jagger looked at her derisively.

"Save your sympathy, it's neither wanted, nor needed. I've no remorse over it. It's the truth. Never regret telling or hearing the truth Red. Speaking of truth, it's time we've had some between us." He said.

"Yeah, well the truth isn't all it's cracked up to be." She answered bitterly.

"Or maybe you're just afraid." Jagger replied.

Corrine pulled her shoulders back, a gesture Jagger recognized to mean she was gearing up for battle, and looked him straight in the eyes.

"You want the truth? Well lets start with the fact that I'm eleven years older than you, and as if that wasn't enough on it's own, how about the fact that you're just starting off in your career, whereas mine is already set. Talk about wrong place, wrong time! The truth is that there is NO chance of us having any kind of relationship beyond..this.." She said gesturing to the bed they were in.

"Bullshit." Jagger said then crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand.

"No Jag, it's not bullshit. You'll be leaving soon. You've got commitments, recording contracts, tour dates for the next year. I have my own commitments, running my hospital that I worked very hard to establish, my family, friends, Dan... It's not fair to either of us to ask the other to sacrifice their life. Even for love. In the end, one of us will end up hating the other." She said.

"Wow, that was a great speech. I bet you've been practicing it since we met. And who the fuck is Dale?" Jagger asked irritated.

"Dan is the guy I see occasionally, and you're being deliberately obtuse." She countered.

Jagger leaned forward and took her hands in his own.

"Red, who the fuck said either of us had to sacrifice anything? Well, other than ‘Don' that is. He's got to go. Other than that, you really need to think outside the box." He said.

Corrine smiled sadly. "Come on Jag, you really think we'd survive a long distant relationship? Being satisfied with the occasional weekend visit?" Corrine asked.

"Nah.. of course not. We'd be MUCH more satisfied never seeing each other again. I'm sure ‘Dick' would be satisfied with that arrangement." Jagger said sarcastically.

"It's DAN, and believe me, he's not an issue, but it still doesn't change the fact that all the odds are against us! You need to look at our situation seriously. It simply won't work." Corrine said frustrated that Jagger couldn't she the train wreck that would be ‘them'.

"I've never been more serious! I know it won't be easy, but Red, do you honestly think you'll get over me in a few months? A year?" He challenged.

"NO! YOU'LL get over ME once you're back on the road! You're getting more famous every day! Girls are going to be throwing themselves at you! Sooner or latter, you'll keep one, or maybe two. That's going to be your life Jag. I'll be long forgotten, and quite frankly, I'd rather you just leave now, and let me get over you, then string me along!" She said.

Well, he asked for honesty, and he got it. Big time. Though he wasn't surprised, he knew she felt that way. He was however a bit taken back by the raw emotion in her voice. It pulled at his heart, yet gave him hope at the same time.

He pulled her to him and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him tight and started to cry.

"Red, listen to me. I'm not going to tell you that it's going to be easy, or that I'm never going to fuck up. That I'll never take another drink again, or do drugs again, or even fuck around, but I will tell you, with complete certainty, that you will NEVER be rid of me. You're the one Red. That's not going to change. Ever. You're the one I want to share all of this, what ever this is with. I want you there when I'm riding high on life, and be there to hold me when the inevitable fall comes." Jagger said and kissed her temple.

"And I want to be there for all your successes, and failures. Though out of the two of us, smart money says I'll be the fuck up in the family." Jagger said laughingly.

Corrine smothered a chuckle against Jaggers' neck and squeezed him tighter.

"All you have to do is believe in us Red. Once you do, everything else will fall into place. Trust me. Do you think you can do that?" Jagger asked her.

Corrine pulled back and looked up at him.

"I don't know Jag. Honestly, I don't know. You're young; you'll change with time. I know you believe with all your heart that we can make it, but the truth is the age difference is just one of the many obstacles we'll face. I don't know if I'm strong enough. I nearly lost myself to Mark....I can't risk losing myself again like that." Corrine reluctantly admitted.

Jagger frowned.

"Jesus Corrine, I thought you were made of much stronger stuff. I guess I was wrong. Though it's pretty pathetic that you choose to live a lack luster life because you're too afraid to get your little heart broken again." Jagger said ruthlessly.

"You fucking asshole! I survived Mark, and I'll sure as hell survive any shit you throw at me too!" She spat at him, taking the bait.

Jagger smiled.

"Prove it." He countered.

Corrine fumed aware of the corner she painted herself into.

She looked away from him. Her mind was a jumble of contradicting thoughts.

Jagger put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him again.

"Red, you can't tell me you don't ‘feel' this. Baby, we're meant to be together. We belong. You're right. Shit happens, in every relationship. Why should ours be any different? See, I think you're scared. You put up a big glass wall to keep from getting hurt. But it also keeps you from getting touched. It's a risk, isn't it? Well I'm willing to take that risk; I'm not going to let you fuck this up for us. I love you." Jagger confessed.

 

Corrine's heart cried out to believe him. To throw all caution to the wind and give herself up to their passions, their love. But the more logical side of her screamed, stop, before you get seriously hurt. You've been down this road before.

"Jag, I can't." She whispered.

Jagger exhaled, not realizing he'd been holding his breath, waiting for her response to his declaration of love. It wasn't what he expected. He stood before her emotionally naked and vulnerable while she refused to recognize her own feelings. He felt rejected and it hurt.

He released her and reached over to the drawer of the nightstand and pulled it open. Inside was the key to the padlock. He retrieved it and handed it to her.

"Get out." He said.

Corrine took the key from him. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears at Jaggers callous treatment of her, but she understood his pain. She was feeling it herself but she just couldn't give him what he wanted. What she wanted...She feared it was an omen of how their relationship was going to be. Filled with angst and pain.

She looked into his eyes and saw a mixture of pain, and love.

"Jag.." she started.

"Don't." He interrupted her.

"Just go. Do what you need to do." He said.

Corrine let her tears fall. She leaned over and kissed him, then got out of the bed and let herself out of the hotel room.

Leaving him was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life, and as she walked out into the streets she wondered why she was doing it.

Was it because of their age difference? Was it because she was afraid like Jagger said? Afraid to love some so deeply that your own identity gets lost in theirs? Or was it simply because she believed so much in him, in his talent, in his future that she felt he needed, no deserved, better. Someone younger who shared the same interest as he did. Who'd grow with him. Jagger was right. She was afraid. Afraid of the day he would wake up and look over at her and she'd see regret in his eyes. Regret that he wasted his youth on her...

 

Jagger listened until he heard the door close behind her before getting out of bed.

His heart felt so heavy it physically weighed him down.

God he wanted a drink. Bad. He knew from experience that alcohol would relieve the pain. It was the only thing that could ease the kind of emotional pain that ate at you from the inside out. And this time, this pain, was deeper, more powerful then he ever remembered. He wasn't going to get through this alone.

He grabbed his pants from off the floor and pulled out his cell.

He hesitated a minute, hoping that the ‘need', the need to do anything, risk anything to stop the pain would pass.

It didn't.

"Fuck" he cursed then dialed the one person he always depended on to guide him through the shark-infested waters of his addiction.

He only hoped the support he'd come to rely on so much for the past several years would still be there.

 

****************************************************

 

 

"Stop it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's not going to happen." Justin said limping away from Brian, using one crutch.

Brian growled in frustration then followed him.

"Be reasonable Justin. It's for her own safety." He tried again.

Justin and Adeline came back to the cabin around six p.m. after spending what Justin described, as a very productive day together. She seemed in a good mood he noticed. He also noticed she was still calling him "Jacques." He was not happy with Justin for not telling her the truth. For some reason, he kept putting it off, and it was pissing Brian off.

Adeline cheerfully invited Brian to stay for dinner.

Brain accepted the invitation gracefully, and then asked Justin to show him around the property while Andy offered to help Adeline prepare dinner.

Brian wanted to get Justin alone to talk to him about his and Andy's concerns over Adeline's state of mind. He was sure that once Justin realized that Adeline was a possible threat to herself, he'd agree to get her help.

He was wrong. Again. Funny Brian thought, he used to know Justin so well. But since his memory loss, Justin was more unpredictable then ever. He not only disagreed with Andy's and his assessment of the situation, he flat out rejected Brian's suggestion that they not only tell Adeline the whole truth, but also have her admitted into the hospital for observations.

 

"Justin you're not listening to me. Andy believes that she might try something drastic once she's forced to accept that you're not her husband. And sooner or later, she's going to have to face that truth. It was a mistake not to tell her today. I thought that was the whole purpose of you spending the day with her, alone." Brian said, unable to hide the censure from his voice.

Justin turned angry eyes on him.

"I'll tell her when I'm good and ready! Stop fucking lecturing me! She's my responsibility, NOT YOURS!" Justin snapped at him.

Brian stepped back at his outburst.

"No. She's our responsibility. And the sooner you face that truth, the better." Brian responded quietly.

If Justin had his memory, he'd recognize that tone as being something to worry over.

Unfortunately he didn't. He was just getting to know Brian, and the quiet tone of his voice only inflamed Justin's own anger.

"Fine then. Our responsibility. But you don't understand. We can't tell her. Not yet." Justin said through gritted teeth.

"Why the fuck not?" Brian asked.

Justin threw his hands up and let out a frustrated sound.

"I don't fucking know! It's just another one of those things I know, yet don't know how I know!" He said, tears springing to his eyes.

Brian's features softened. He knew how difficult and confusing all this was for him. The not knowing must be driving him nuts. Justin had the most inquisitive, curious mind that was currently being very uncooperative. He had to rely on his ‘feelings' to guide him since his memory was sketchy at best.

Still, he couldn't condone Justin's decision to keep the truth from Adeline. It went against everything he, everything they believed in.

"So what happens now? You continue to play the attentive husband while she plays the attentive wife? I would think you'd have hard time living that lie Sunshine..." Brian drawled his pet name out mockingly.

"Or maybe it's a sham easily accomplished with the help of her own special brand of ‘mothers little helper'." Brian spat out.

Justin looked at him confused.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He asked.

"I'm talking about that potent tea she's been feeding you. She gave some to Andy last night." Brian said.

Justin's eyes narrowed in thought, not sure what the fuck Brian was talking about.

"What tea...." He said then stopped when it hit him.

"Ohhhhhh! That tea! Jesus I almost forgot about that! Fucking shit was strong! Thank God! I was in a lot of pain when I first got here. Though it only lasted a few hours. Once she gave me that tea I was out of it. Pretty much for days. I know she set my leg, but I don't remember her doing it. Actually, I don't remember much about those first few days." Justin said.

Brian made a face. "According to Andy, that fucking tea is a hallucinogenic. Doesn't the fact that she kept you drugged up and out of your mind for days bother you?" he asked incredulous.

"Actually, no. She never forced me to take it. She offered it to me. I took it for a few days, then stopped. It was always my choice. But then the infection set in and that‘s when Giles came. He gave me painkillers so I didn't need the tea anymore. Why are you so freaked out about it?" Justin asked.

"Because you could have died Justin! You're allergic to a lot of shit. She had no right drugging you like that, or Andy!" Brian all but roared out in his frustration.

"Wait. Why did she give the tea to Andy?" Justin asked, now concerned.

"Because Andy said he had a headache. Now any NORMAL person would have offered him an aspirin, not some hallucinogenic concoction!" Brian said.

Justin furrowed his brow. Brian was right. He understood why Adeline gave him the tea. He was in a lot of pain. She had to set his leg. He was sure if he didn't have the tea he'd have been in more pain then he probably could have handled. But a headache? He knew how powerful that tea was. And Adeline knew it as well. He had to have a talk with her.

Maybe Brian was right. Though she was very stable around him, even hinting that she knew he wasn't her husband, she was obviously unstable around others. Her actions were proving that.

"Ok. Point taken. I'll have a talk with her." He conceded.

Brian let out a breath.

"Finally! And this time, while you're having that talk, tell her the truth, cause if you don't, I swear to God Justin, I'm going to tell her! And I think you know me well enough by now to know that it will be a lot easier and kinder coming from you, then it would from me." Brian threatened.

Justin limped over to him and poked his index finger into Brian's chest.

"You listen to ME Mr. Kinney! You will NOT tell her until I know she's ready! You talk about me not trusting you? Well how about trusting me!? I'm telling you, it's not time yet! We'll tell her when I say it's time, and not one...minute...more!" Justin poked Brian in the chest with each pronunciation of the last three words.

Brian lifted one corner of his mouth, losing the battle with his face not to smile. He couldn't help it. Nothing turned him on more than a fighting mad Justin. His tiger was showing his claws and Brian wanted to feel them. Preferably on his back.

Justin tilted his head at the look on Brian's face.

"You find this amusing, don't you?" He asked in a suspiciously threatening voice.

Brian's resolve broke and he laughed

"Actually, I find it sexy as hell. You always did turn me on when you got this mad." He admitted.

"Humph!" Justin snorted.

"I can just imagine how our fights ended then if that's the case." He said giving Brian a sexy, ‘come fuck me' look.

Brian grabbed Justin behind the neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

Justin slanted his mouth over Brian's and moaned deeply as he took his tongue into his mouth. Brian got instantly hard and pulled Justin against him so that he could feel his arousal.

"Come on, behind the barn.." Brian whispered into Justin's mouth.

"Hmmm...." Justin murmured his consent.

Brian walked backwards, toward the building, practically carrying Justin with him, when the phone went off in his pocket.

He ignored it and let it go to voice mail.

They awkwardly maneuvered their way around to the back of the barn. Once there, Justin dropped his crutch and threw the full force of his body against Brian's, causing them both to tumble down onto the grass.

Brian landed on his back with a loud "oomph!" clutching Justin's body to his.

It took him all of 30 seconds for him to catch his breath before he started undressing his blonde.

They were halfway naked when Brian's cell went off again.

"Bri.. maybe you should answer it. It could be important." Justin suggested in lust laden voice.

"This is important." Brian replied grabbing Justin's hand and placing it over his cock.

Justin moaned and slid his body down Brian's, licking and nipping his way to his destination. He paid special attention to his nipples causing all sorts of inarticulate sounds to escape his lover.

Justin took encouragement in Brian's reaction and doubled his efforts.

Brian hissed in excruciating pleasure as Justin's hot mouth continued its onslaught over his chest, sides and stomach. When Justin's head reached the top of his jeans, Brian thought he was going to lose it.

Justin lifted his head and placed his hands on either side of Brian's waist then lowered his head again to release the top button of Brian's jeans...with his teeth.

Brian groaned loudly which caused Betsy the cow to moo.

Justin laughed as he proceeded to then unzip Brian's jeans, again with his teeth, after having successfully unbuttoned the top button.

The cell when off again.

Justin lifted his head and looked at Brian questioningly.

"Fuck!" Brian cursed and pulled the phone from his pocket.

"WHAT?!" He growled angrily into the phone.

"Dad, is DJ with you? I need to talk to him." Jagger responded ignoring the angry tone to Brian's voice.

Jagger was past caring; he was in the grip of the ‘need.' DJ was the only one, when he got this bad, who could talk him through it.

 

"NOW is NOT a good time Jag!" Brian said through clenched teeth.

"I don't give a fuck if it's a good time or not! I need DJ NOW!" Jagger shouted.

Brian's face must have registered his alarm at the near hysteria he heard in his son's voice because Justin immediately sat up.

"What's wrong?" He mouthed to Brian.

Brian pursed his lips tightly as fear gripped his stomach.

"Jag, Justin is here, but talk to me. Better yet, where are you? I'll come to you." He said.

He knew exactly what this phone call was about. Jagger was on the verge of relapsing. When he got like this, which wasn't too often, Thank God, he always sought out Justin's help.

Jagger hated the idea of sponsors. His addiction was too personal to him to share with anyone. Anyone other than Justin that was. Since that first time Justin dragged him out of the rehab center Brian placed him in when he was just thirteen, and helped him detox at home, Jagger always turned to him for help. They bonded during those first crucial years of his addiction and Brian knew with a sinking heart, he was going to be a poor substitute now.

"Dad, please..." Jaggers' voice drifted off.

"Brian, you're freaking me out, what's wrong?!" Justin insisted.

Brian put his hand over the mouthpiece of his cell and explained the situation  
to Justin.

"Give me the phone." Justin said.

"Justin, you can't. There's a lot of history with you and Jagger that you don't remember, and we don't have time to go over. You can't help him without knowing the depths of his addiction, and how you handled it in the past." Brian said.

"Our son needs me Brian. That's all I need to know. Fuck my memory. Trust me. Give me the phone." Justin insisted.

Brian paused for a moment, then relented.

"Jag, I'm putting Justin on, but please remember, he's still recovering." Brian said.

"I know, but it doesn't matter. I just need to talk to him." Jagger said.

Brian handed Justin the phone.

"Hey Jag. Rough night?" He said, a hint of humor in his voice.

Jagger let out a small bitter laugh.

"You can say that. Fuck, DJ. It's bad this time." He said. His voice trembled.

"Tell me." Justin said.

"I don't know why it came on like this all of a sudden..."

"Yes you do." Justin replied.

Jagger sighed.

"Yeah, I do. It's Corrine." Jagger admitted.

"At the risk of sounding cliché, women have been known to drive a man to drink." Justin said, trying to lighten Jaggers dark, dangerous mood.

"Yeah well if that's true, then I'm fucked. This particular red head is driving me fucking nuts." Jagger said.

"What happened?" Justin asked.

Jagger proceeded to tell Justin about his evening, and Corrine's rejection of his declaration of love.

Justin listened patiently until Jagger was finished before he spoke.

"Jagger, sometimes we need to stop listening to what people say, or don't say with our ears, and listen with our heart. Words come very hard to some people. She didn't say what you wanted to hear, but what does your heart hear? Think before you answer. It's also important not let your emotions hear, or see things that aren't there. If, once you've thought about it, you believe she feels the same as you, then don't give up on her." Justin advised.

Brian looked over at him with eyes filled with wonder. He didn't know if Justin realized it or not, but he was giving Jagger advice based on their relationship in the beginning. Words never did come easy for him back then, hell he still had a hard time with them, but Justin always ‘heard' him non the less. He always relied on Justin's acute hearing when no words were spoken. Apparently Corrine was having a hard time communicating her feelings to Jagger as well. He knew there was a reason he didn't like her. She was too much like him.

Jagger remained silent on the other end.

"Jag, come have dinner with me at the cabin tonight. Adeline and An..um, Jason are cooking." Justin said.

"Thanks DJ, but I don't think so. Not tonight." He said.

Justin frowned. He didn't trust Jagger to be alone tonight. He gave him something to think about but he had no idea where Jaggers thoughts would lead him, and he feared it would lead him to the nearest bar.

"Jag, please. I'm having a rough enough time as it is. I really would feel a lot better if you were here." Justin said.

"Not fair, you're pulling the guilt card on me." Jagger said.

"Hey, what ever it takes. But if you don't come, I'll be forced to track you down, on one leg mind you, did I mention how much my leg is killing me this evening?...just so I can see for myself that you're all right. Now you could save me the trouble, and pain, and come to dinner, or you could be a selfish prick and make me go out in my condition." Justin said.

Brian had to hold back his laugh. Justin may not have his full memory back, but his instincts were as sharp as ever. He knew exactly what to say to Jagger to get him to do what he wanted.

"Ok you win. I'll be there in an hour." Jagger said.

"Nope. Not good enough. If you're not here in twenty minutes, I'll be forced to come find you." Justin said, not giving an inch.

Jagger laughed. "Afraid I'll go out and get drunk first?" He asked.

"I'm not worried about you getting drunk. That takes many drinks. I'm worried about that first one. The one you will take if you don't get your ass in a cab and out here ASAP." Justin said firmly.

Justin held his breath as he waited for Jagger to respond.

"Twenty minutes." He finally answered then hung up.

Justin closed the cell and handed it to Brian.

"Guess whose coming to dinner?" He said.

"Sydney Poitier?" Brian replied cheekily.

"Who?" Justin asked.

Brian groaned.

"He's an actor. But never mind that. How bad is he?" Brian asked.

"How the fuck should I know. I've never seen him act, at least I don't remember." Justin answered.

Brian narrowed his eyes. "Don't be cute." He warned.

Justin smiled at him.

"Sorry, can't help it. But don't worry. Jagger will be fine. He just needs his family around him tonight." Justin said.

Brian breathed a sigh a relief. He knew this affair with the lady doctor was going to be too stressful on Jagger. He had enough stress with his career just taking off, and all the commitments that came with it. The last thing he needed was to fall in love with the most inappropriate person. Why couldn't he just fall for one of his groupies for Christ sakes!

"Ok Kinney, what are you thinking?" Justin asked.

"I'm thinking I'm going to have to have a talk with the lady doctor." He answered.

"Oh no, Brian don't. Let them work this out." Justin said.

"I've..we've been protecting Jagger since he's thirteen. He's lived more in his nineteen years than most people have their whole entire lives. He needs us to run interference when we see disaster coming his way, and trust me, Corrine is a tsunami waiting to happen." Brian said.

Justin tilted his head.

"Why do you say that? Simply because she has a hard time accepting Jaggers love?" Justin asked.

Brian was about to answer yes, but then stopped himself when he realized he would be a hypocrite if he did. He had a very hard time accepting Justin's love in the beginning.

"No."

"Well what then? Her age?" Justin challenged.

Again, Brian couldn't find fault with that without him sounding like a hypocrite.

"No."

"Well then, what?" Justin asked.

Brian had to think about it, really think about it. He knew in his gut that if Jagger and Corrine hooked up, their relationship would be filled with angst, and...and...

"Fuck." He said.

"Tell me." Justin prompted.

"It's because they are too much like us, and I don't want to see Jagger go through the pain we did to be together." He answered honestly.

"Ah. So then you admit they love each other." Justin said.

Brian sighed.

"I'll admit Jagger loves her." He conceded.

"And if Jagger believes she loves him? Will you accept that?" Justin asked.

Brian cringed inwardly. He hated it when Justin made him examine his feelings. How could he not accept it? Again, it would be hypocritical of him. If Jagger believed that Corrine loved him, there was nothing he, or anyone could say that would change his mind. Justin had believed Brian loved him when no one else did. Including himself. That's how well he kept his feelings sealed away. How could he deny his own son's beliefs in love when he knew the power of it first hand?

If Jagger believes that Corrine is the one for him, then Brian would not only accept it, but he would support him in any way he needed.

"You know Sunshine, for someone who has no memory, you know fucking way too much." Brian said.

Justin smiled and leaned over to place a soft kiss on Brian's lips.

"I know you..." he said.

"Speaking of ‘knowing me'..." Brian purred seductively as he reached around and grabbed Justin's ass.

"We have twenty minutes." He said.

Justin laughed.

"Fifteen. So quit your yapping, and get to it." Justin demanded.

And just like the dutiful lust starved partner he was, Brian proceeded to do his blondes bidding.


	17. The Deception

**"It is only hope, which is real, and reality is a bitterness and a deceit."  
William Makepeace Thackeray**

 

Brian leaned his hip against the desk of the nurses' station, striking a very seductive pose, as he plied his charms on Julie. She was having a hard time resisting him, but she gave it another shot.

"I'm sorry Mr. Kinney, but I told you I can't page Dr. Vioget unless it's either patient, or hospital related. Those are the hospital rules." She said giving him one of her own very sexy, seductive smiles.

Brian winked at her.

"Not my club, not my rules." He said.

Julie laughed.

"You're incorrigible, much like your son. I can only assume he inherited that trait from you." She said.

"That, his huge cock and an over active libido." Brian supplied tongue in cheek.

If Julie were a younger woman, she might have blushed. Instead she leaned over and whispered in a conspiratorial tone.. "All qualities I've come to respect in a man. Tell me, does Dad ever switch teams on occasions? You know, just for kicks?" she asked boldly.

Brian liked her. She had a charming wickedness about her. He couldn't resist teasing her. He turned his head so his mouth was inches from her ear and whispered back in his most seductive voice.

"I like my sex rough, dirty and hard normally. What I do for kicks would shock you. Not the sort of thing a nice sweet girl like you should be exposed to. " He said.

Julie let out a small gasp. Brian chuckled low in his throat and leaned in just a fraction of an inch closer; his lips hovered dangerously close to her earlobe.

"But...if you page the lady Doc for me and I just might let you watch me get blown." He added.

His breath caressed Julie's lobe and sent shivers down her spine. She pulled back from him with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh you are a naughty one. If Jagger is anything like you, Corrine's going have her hands full. In more ways then one." Julie said.

The pun was not lost on Brian.

"Was there any doubt?" He asked slyly.

Julie laughed and picked up the phone to page one Dr. Corrine Vioget.

"You owe me." She said once she hung up the phone.

"How about dinner?" Brian offered.

Julie lowered her eyelids and shuffled some papers on the desk.

"Only if you bring that hot blonde partner of yours and let me watch while you jerk him off under the table." She said nonchalantly, never looking up from the papers in her hands.

At first Brian wasn't sure he heard her. Her words drifted in the air between them, as if her thoughts left her mouth without her knowledge, but then he spied the wry smile spread across her face and barked out a laugh.

"Deal. But only if he agrees." Brian said.

She looked up then and was about to reply when Corrine walked up to them.

Brian turned his attention away from the charming, risqué nurse to face her.

She did not look happy.

"Corrine, I'm sorry to bother you at work, I was wondering if we could have a word. In private." Brian greeted her.

Corrine looked at the nurse behind the desk as if she just sold the company secrets to the enemy.

"You know the rules Julie. Unless it's an emergency, I'm not to be paged for anything other than hospital business." She admonished her friend.

"I told her it was an emergency." Brian supplied the excuse, trying to steer the lady doc's anger away from the nurse. He didn't want her to lose her job over him.

Corrine turned back to him.

"I'm sorry Mr. Kinney, but I'm afraid you've wasted your time if you've come to talk to me about your son. I've nothing to say." Corrine said.

She knew exactly why Jaggers dad was here. To tell her to stay the fuck away from his son. She saw it in his eyes the first time he realized they were seeing each other. His disapproval was obvious. She wanted to tell him he had nothing to worry about, that she already decided she was going to let Jagger go. That he wasn't the only one concerned about his son's future. She was too, and that's why she had to push him away, so he'd have a chance to live his life, and not be held back by her. But she wasn't going to tell him that because she didn't want to give him the satisfaction. The truth was it was none of his fucking business.

"Cut your shit Corrine and talk to the man." Julie said.

Brian looked over at the nurse. Obviously he had nothing to worry about. If she didn't lose her job over that comment, she must be important to Corrine.

"Mind your business Julie." Corrine warned.

"Sorry, but you're my best friend. That makes you my business. Your rounds are over, and your next appointment isn't for another hour. Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and make him buy you a cup of coffee." Julie suggested.

Corrine turned sharp eyes on her.

"Looks like you're out numbered Doc. What do you say? Just a few minutes of your time, that's all I'm asking. Doesn't the Hippocratic oath prevent you from turning me down?" He asked.

"That only applies to medical attention." Corrine countered.

"Well the mental, spiritual and physical health of my son needs attending. And I'm afraid you're the only one who can help." Brian said.

Corrine's face registered alarm, and fear Brian noted. It was enough to convince him that she had some intense feelings for his son. He was comforted by her reaction.

"Is Jagger all right?" She asked in a worried voice.

"So far." Brian answered then swung his arm out for her to lead the way to the cafeteria so they could talk.

Corrine walked ahead of him with hurried steps. She would never forgive herself if something happened to Jagger because of her.

Brian watched her reaction and frowned. He was becoming more and more convinced she was in love with his son. So why was she pushing him away?

It was the first question he asked her once they were seated with two steaming cups of coffee between them.

 

*************************************************

 

While Brian and Corrine were sharing coffee and conversation in the cafeteria, Justin and Adeline sat behind the huge, polished mahogany desk of Giles old office on the other end of the hospital.

Giles had set up this appointment to go over the results of Justin and Adeline's test results. Brian wanted to sit in on the meeting, but Justin told him it was best if he didn't. Adeline was nervous about her results, not having had a medical examination in years, and she didn't want anyone but Justin to hear what the doctor said.

Brian reluctantly consented, and agreed to meet them afterwards in the lobby.  
He told Justin to call him immediately on his cell if there was bad news, though he doubted there would be. Justin was doing much better and Adeline looked the picture of health these days.

"He's late." Adeline said.

Justin reached over and took her hand in his.

"Stop worrying Adeline. Everything's going to be fine." He reassured her by squeezing her hand affectionately.

Adeline looked over at him. Her face was pale, she looked anxious.

"Promise me something Justin." She asked, almost desperately.

‘Justin'

She used his real name. Justin's heart skipped a beat. He always believed deep down, that Adeline knew he wasn't her real husband; she just couldn't let go of her fantasy. Using his name and not that of her dead husbands, to address him was a huge concession on her part. He wanted to reward her for this first, crucial step in healing.

"If it's in my power, you know I will." He answered.

Adeline squeezed his hand painfully.

"Promise me that no matter what the test results show, you won't leave me!" She said.

Justin frowned. She was on the verge of letting Jacques go, yet afraid to because she didn't want to be left alone. For some reason, she picked today to face her fears, and the truth. He didn't know why she chose today. Maybe she believed Justin had a DNA test done to prove to her that he wasn't Jacques. Of course he didn't, simply because everyone knew he wasn't Jacques, well, everyone except her. Whatever the reason, Justin was glad she decided to finally let go.

"Adeline, I told you I wasn't going to leave you. No matter what, you have people who care about you now. What ever the doctor tells us, we'll deal with it together. I Promise." He said.

Adeline relaxed and bit and gave him a weak smile.

Justin was about to say something else when Giles entered the room. Justin started to rise to greet him but Giles motioned for him to remain seated.

He walked behind his desk and sat down with a big sigh.

"So, how are my favorite patients today?" He directed the question to both of them.

Justin's hair on the back of his neck stood. Giles had information and Justin's gut was telling him it wasn't good.

"You tell us?" Justin asked cautiously.

Giles took a deep breath.

"Physically, you're both fit as a fiddle. I do have some questions though." Giles said.

Justin and Adeline both breathed a little sigh of relief.

"What kind of questions?" Justin asked.

"Well for starters, how's the leg healing?" Giles asked.

"Oh just fine. A little pain now and then, but nothing I can't handle." He answered.

"Uh huh. And are you taking the pain medication I gave you for that?" Giles asked.

"Actually no. I've stopped taking it a few days ago. The pain is really not bad, nothing I can't tolerate." Justin said.

"Uh huh. That's good. And tell me, what did you take for the pain before I gave you those pain pills?" Giles asked.

Justin's brow furrowed in concern over the question. He could feel Adeline shift nervously in her chair next to him.

"Um, nothing really. Just some tea Adeline made me. It helped relax me." Justin answered suddenly feeling very nervous.

Brian mentioned to him that Adeline's tea was some sort of hallucinogenic. He hoped it didn't cause any brain damage. Brian told him he had a head injury when he was just eighteen, and still suffered some affects from that injury. He knew that hallucinogenics' could cause brain damage, especially if the brain was already damaged.

Giles turned his attention to Adeline.

"How long have you been practicing Spagyric?" Giles asked.

"What's that?" Justin asked.

"It's a form of herbal alchemy." Giles explained.

"We found traces of Ayahuasca, which is a hallucinogenic that comes from a plant. Very potent stuff Missy. In some parts of the world it's used as a panacea of sorts. It gives the patient a feeling of euphoria that the body and mind begins to crave. It's very addicting. If ingested in large amounts, it could cause psychosis." Giles said.

"Should I be worried?" Justin asked

"Fortunately for you Son, there wasn't enough of it in you system to warrant alarm. And your cat scan came out clean. I'm just very concerned about Adeline playing doctor with that kind of medicine. You could get in a lot of trouble for administering that stuff you know. It's illegal." Giles said.

Adeline started to cry.

Justin looked at her sharply. "We'll discuss this later." He said.

He was very angry at Adeline, though he believed her intentions were good, she was playing around with dangerous stuff that could hurt her, and others. He knew she also drank the tea, and often. Which prompted his next question.

"Did you find traces in Adeline's blood work as well?" He asked.

Gilles frowned. "Unfortunately I did, though as in your case, not enough to hurt her, but..."

Justin leaned forward. He didn't like the way Gilles said "but"

"But what?" He asked.

"But in her condition she shouldn't be taking any drugs." Giles said.

Justin was confused.

"What condition? I thought you said she was fine!" He said; frustration heavy in his voice.

Giles looked over at Adeline and raised his brow.

"You want to tell him? I'm sure you know by now." Giles said.

Justin looked over at Adeline.

"What's going on?" He asked in a menacing tone.

"Remember, you promised." Adeline said.

"Adeline!" Justin's tone was impatient.

She lowered her head, refusing to answer.

"She's pregnant." Giles said.

Justin blinked a few times, he was not expecting THAT at all! Pregnant? How?...

"Adeline?" This time his voice had softened.

She was pregnant. Suddenly it started to make sense. Why she was so desperate to have him be her husband, to promise not to leave her. Some guy, probably a local, had his way with her then refused to acknowledge her after that. Once she found out she was pregnant, she was probably scared to death to have the baby alone and worried what the townsfolk would think. They already thought her a bit ‘touched'. So when he showed up on that riverbank, she probably thought it a sign or something, and adopted him as her husband.

Pity consumed him.

"It's ok Adeline. Really, this is good news! It doesn't matter who the father is, Brian and I will help you raise the baby. You won't have to do this alone. I do believe though that the father should know. Even if he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby, he still has a right to know. Who is he? Someone from town? Is he married? You can tell us. You know you can trust me, and the Doctor is bound to keep his patients secrets." Justin said soothingly.

Adeline shook her head. She still refused to speak.

Justin looked to Giles for help expecting to see sympathy in his eyes; instead he saw censure and condemnation. It startled him.

"Doc?" He whispered, not knowing what he was asking, but knowing there was something he was missing here.

"Justin, she's only two weeks pregnant." Giles said.

Justin narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"How can that be? She's been by my side constantly for the past 3 weeks! There's been no other......"

His head snapped back to Adeline.

"No..." He said, shocked at the implications of the Doctors', and his own words.

"That's impossible. We've never...." He said.

"Haven't you? I told you that drug was very potent. Putting aside your memory loss from your accident, do you have lapses in memory during that first week after the accident when you were recuperating at the cabin?" Giles asked.

Justin got up from his chair so quickly it almost turned over.

"No, it can't be! I was in pain! The tea made me feel....FUCK! Adeline! Tell me it's not true! We didn't! Surely I would remember that!" Justin said.

Justin tried to search his memory for the events of that first week. He remembered the tea made him feel euphoric, like the doctor said, almost ‘too' good. He remembered dreams, some very weird dreams, some erotic...

"FUCK, FUCK FUCK! You fucking drugged me then had sex with me!?" Justin accused, his voice violent.

Giles got up and walked around to where Adeline sat. She was unresponsive at this point.

"Justin, calm down. I'm not condoning her actions. In fact, you've every right to have her arrested for what she did. But I have to say, in my medical opinion; her actions were the results of serious mental illness. She needs to be institutionalized, not imprisoned. Please, consider this before you make any rash decisions." Giles said.

Justin's mind was racing. He didn't know what to do. He was stunned at this turn of events. He knew Adeline was a bit out of touch with reality, but this????!! This was the act of a truly deranged woman! One who was now carrying his baby...

His baby...

 _'FUCK FUCK FUCK...._ ' He couldn't think, he needed Brian. He pulled his cell out to call him then stopped abruptly.

"Oh no...Brian." He said, despair filled him.

How was he going to tell Brian he had sex with Adeline? He wouldn't let his own partner touch him, yet he fucked Adeline! He could just imagine that conversation.

 _‘Um, Brian, apparently I fucked Adeline, but I don't remember cause I was drugged so you can't blame me. Oh, and by the way, she's pregnant.'_

Shit! Brian would feel hurt and betrayed. He knew that with a certainty that scared him. Yes, he would accept the fact that Justin was drugged, and he wouldn't blame him, ever. He'd even be outraged on his behalf, but deep down, he would feel betrayed.

Justin remembered all too well the first time he saw that look in Brian's eyes. The look that said, "how could you?" Or more accurately, "how could you not?" It was when he first laid eyes on Brian and he didn't recognize him. That look flashed in Brian's eyes, if only for a split second, but it was there, and Justin saw it. though he didn't understand it then, he understood it all too well now.

Logically, Brian understood and accepted why Justin didn't recognize him, but his heart couldn't accept it. Just like his heart wasn't going to accept that Justin fucked another person, and without a condom. Drugged or not, it put both of them in danger.

Brian spoke very passionately about their decision to fuck raw. How hard it was for them because of the trust issue. Brian loved Justin with his whole being, but sex was something entirely different. They were two separate entities to Brian. He confessed it took him a long time to trust they both would be monogamous long enough to do it. Though Brian NEVER worried about Justin fucking around, he was more concerned that his resolve would slip. Hence the no fucking without condoms, ever, rule.

Then after many years, they built enough trust between them to do it. If one, or the other slipped, they immediately confided in the other and the condoms went back on. Now, Justin broke that trust, unwittingly or not, he put Brian in danger. Brian may forgive him, but he doubted he could forgive himself. Though he had only vague memories of their life together, Justin didn't need to ‘remember' Brian to know that he loved him. Deeply and profoundly. How could he do this to the man he loved?

God knows what he could have picked up from Adeline. He lost his memory, not his mind. He knew the dangers. And the awful truth was, he couldn't really blame Adeline. She never forced the tea on him, he kept asking her for more. He liked the feeling too much, like the doctor said, it was addicting. He was weak and because of his weakness, he put the love of his life in danger.

Giles saw the distress on Justin's face at the mention of his partner.

"Justin, if you like, I'll explain the situation to Brian. Call him up here and we'll discuss it together, and come to some arrangement that's beneficial to everyone." Giles offered.

He could see the myriad of emotions cross the young lads face. Guilt, shame, anger, remorse. He knew telling his partner was going to be very hard on him.

"Thank you doctor. I'll do that, but I want her out of here first. I don't want her anywhere near Brian." He said, not looking at her.

Giles nodded then went to his desk and picked up his phone.

"Yes, please send two orderly's and a nurse to my office. I need to admit a patient." He spoke into the phone.

Adeline let out a wail like wounded animal and threw herself on the floor by Justin's feet.

"Please, NOOOOOO!!!! I'm sorry! I didn't mean any harm; I was just lonely..." she cried clutching his leg.

Justin ruthlessly shook her off of him.

"I could give a shit what you did to me Adeline, it's what you did to Brian. You put HIM at risk, and for that I can never forgive you." Justin said.

Adeline wailed louder as the door opened and two orderly's came in. They picked her up form the floor and dragged her out of the office kicking and screaming.

Justin's heart felt pity, yet he pushed it away.

Wearily, he sat back down in the chair. Giles went over to him and put a soothing hand on his shoulder.

Justin looked up at him with grateful eyes.

"Did you test for STD's? HIV?" He asked. He couldn't trust anything about Adeline at this point.

"Unfortunately no. We just did the normal CTB blood work. I'll order another set of tests immediately, for both you and Brian. Of course we'll be doing more test on Adeline, to make sure the drug we found in her system hasn't affected the baby. I'll make sure to run the STD tests on her as well, though I seriously doubt you have anything to worry about. She's been a recluse for the past five years." Giles tried to reassure Justin.

Justin wasn't reassured. "Maybe, but we need to make sure. And I need to tell Brian." Justin said.

He pulled out this cell and made the call.

 

************************************

 

"Well that's a hell of a question." Corrine said taking a sip of her coffee.

"And that's not an answer." Brian remarked.

"How about this for an answer. It's none of your fucking business." She said, her patience growing thin with him.

"Tsk, tsk. Such vulgar language coming from a nice lady doctor like yourself." Brian said smiling.

That only infuriated Corrine more.

"Listen, I would think you'd be happy. Your son has a chance now to be happy." She said.

Brian furrowed his brow.

"What makes you think he's happy?" He asked.

"Well, he will be. Just give him time. I know he flew out this morning to fulfill his European concert tour agreement. He'll be so wrapped up in rehearsals and performance not to mention all the groupies that will be following the tour, he won't give me a second thought. As it should be. I've my own life you know. What we had was just a fling. It was fun. I don't have a problem with that, he sure as hell doesn't, so why do you?" Corrine asked.

"Maybe because I know you're full of shit. Yeah, he left today to complete his aborted tour. He had to. They were threatening to sue the shit out of him and his band. If you knew Jagger, you'd know he could give a shit if they sued him, but he couldn't put his Band members in that position. It's not in his character. And if you knew him, you'd know just because he went to fulfill his obligations, that doesn't mean he's given up on you, or your future together. You'd know that he loves you. Now my question is, since it's obvious you love him too, why are you pushing him away?" Brian asked.

Corrine sighed exasperated with Brian's relentless questioning. Fuck it she thought, he of all people should understand.

"Why? I'll tell you why. Because I do love him." She answered.

Brian sat back in the cheap plastic cafeteria chair and eyed her knowingly. He expected that was the case.

"That's an excellent reason. Actually, I can't think of one better. Such a selfless decision, forsaking your own happiness for his. It's very noble of you." Brian said.

Corrine wasn't sure if he was complimenting her, or mocking her. His tone was indistinguishable.

 

"Um thanks, I think. But trust me, I'm not being noble, I'm just doing what anyone would do for the person they love." She said.

"Of course. I mean of course it's all bullshit." Brian said.

Corrine threw her hands up.

"How is it bullshit!? Jesus Brian, this is hard enough for me! I know YOU know it's the right thing, so why are you giving me a hard time?" She asked.

"Because it's not about right or wrong. It's about life. There is no wrong or right in life. Just choices we make. And you're about to make one I think you'll regret. Do you know how old Justin was when I first met him?" He asked.

"Yes, I heard the story. You were thirty, he was seventeen." She said.

"Twenty-nine." Brian corrected.

"Ok, twenty-nine. But we're not you and Justin." She said.

Brian laughed. "Well you got that right. Most people would have never made the choices we made. I can't tell you the struggles we went through, the pain, the anguish, hell, we each nearly died keeping our relationship alive." Brian admitted.

"And this is what you wish for Jagger and I? To nearly die in the pursuit of a relationship?" She asked.

"No, in the pursuit of love, and happiness. What else is there worth risking everything for Corrine? You don't seem like the type of woman that would chose a lifetime of nothing special over five minutes of something fucking amazing. I could be wrong though." Brian said.

"Brian, it's not about me." Corrine tried to reason.

"It is at this point, because Jaggers already made his choice. He chooses five minutes of something wonderful." Brian said.

Corrine sat back and ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture.

"So what do you suggest I do?" She asked.

Brian leaned forward, his tone growing very serious.

"What ever you do Corrine, don't make the same mistake I did. I wasted years running from the love of my life, using the same excuses you're using right now. I denied both of us those years, years I can never get back. That's my regret. Don't make it yours. Go. Run to him. Run to happiness. Run to fucking amazing, Run. Don't walk, run. Get your affairs in order, hell, hand the hospital over to your Dad, he's sick of retirement already! But do it. Just do it, or believe me, you'll not only regret not doing it, you'll have Jagger regretting it to." Brian said.

Corrine stared at Brian with a blank expression as his words sank into her head. What he was proposing was so reckless, and irresponsible, how could she? And then the next question popped into her head so fast it nearly knocked her off her chair.

How could she not?

"Fuck." She breathed.

Brian smiled.

"I'm so fucking scared." She confessed.

"That's good. You should be scared. It's part of the thrill, the excitement." Brian said.

Corrine laughed.

"You would think that."

"And you don't?" He countered.

"Where's his next performance?" Corrine asked.

She was going to do it. She was going to run, only this time, it wasn't going to be away from something, it was going to be running towards something. Love. Happiness, and like Brian said, something fucking amazing.

Brian filled her in on Jagger's itinerary, happy she decided to take the risk.

Corrine took the information down, her heart pounding the whole time.

"Jesus, I'm really going to do this." She said, stunned by her own decision.

"Looks that way." Brian answered.

"It's the right thing to do, isn't it?" She asked, suddenly needing validation.

"Fuck if I know. All I know is you should never let your conscious rule your heart. It makes a coward out of you, and there is no reward for cowards, they're reserved for the brave." Brian waxed poetically.

‘Nice Kinney, now you sound like Zen Ben.'

He thought amused at his own advice. Any more of this romantic shit and he might as well cut his dick off and declare himself a dyke.

Corrine was about to answer him when Brian's phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled. It was Justin. He flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Hey Sunshine, how'd it go?" He asked cheerfully.

"Brian, meet me in Giles office." Justin said.

Brian's heart jumped in his throat. There was trouble.

"I'll be right there." He said then flipped the phone shut.

"Sorry Corrine, but I got to go." He said already half way up from the table.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

But Brian never answered. He was already out of the cafeteria and heading towards Dr. Giles Vioget's office.


	18. Forget Me....Not

**"How long have I  
been in this storm  
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form  
water's getting harder to tread  
with these waves crashing over my head  
if I could just see you  
everything will be alright  
if I'd see you  
the storminess will turn to light"**

 **~ Storm by Lighthouse**

 

 

 _"What news?" The Arch Angel Michael asked as he floated up beside Gabriel._

 _Gabriel turned to greet him._

 _"The woman is with child." He answered somewhat despondently._

 _"Ah, so it has begun." Michael said._

 _"Yes it has begun, but I fear it is too soon. He still does not remember." Gabriel said._

 _"Be patient Gabriel, there is still time. His path is not an easy one, but it is one our Father has chosen for him. His will, will be done on earth, as it is here, in heaven." Michaels' words were meant to soothe._

 _Gabriel smiled a bit sadly. "True, but the curse is not of heaven or earth. It cannot be broken until the choice is made, and the two are rejoined in love and forgiveness. I fear their ignorance will lead them to make the wrong choice. They have eyes, but choose not to see." Gabriel said._

 _"That may be the case, but it is ‘their' choice, not yours' Gabriel.  
Our father has blessed the humans with free will. We cannot interfere in their choices. But do not despair. Their actions have no consequences except upon their own mortal lives, which is naught but a nano second in their eternal lives. If the curse is not broken in this moment, they will have another opportunity to right the wrong in the next moment. It is only time..." Michael spoke sagaciously._

 _Gabriel snorted, a very human reaction that made the Arch Angel laugh._

 _"You've been too much in the humans' company Gabriel, you're picking  
up their habits." Michael noted._

 _Gabriel shook his head sadly. Michael was right; he'd grown an attachment to ‘this' generation and wanted to see the curse end now, in THIS moment._

 _"I am sure you are right Michael, but I've watched generation after generation suffer from this unholy union of magic and nature. How many more will wander blindly on this twisted path before this abomination ends? The curse was not of heaven or earth, so why should we stand idly by while it wreaks its evil havoc upon Gods' favorites? When will it end? There must be more I can do. If only they knew..."_

 _"Do not even think it Gabriel. You've already over stepped your bounds by taking that soul and replacing it with your wards. Leave him be now to complete his mission. If he does not remember on his own, then it is not time yet." Michael warned, sensing where his friends' thoughts were leading._

 _Gabriel sighed, resigned to the Arch Angels sage advice._

 _"Don't mind me. As you said, I am picking up habits from the humans. My somber musings are a result of spending too much time in their thoughts. I shall seek out the company of the cherubs. Join me?" Gabriel extended the invitation._

 _Michael smiled brilliantly. "An excellent suggestion! No soul can remain somber in their presence! I shall meet you in the great hall with my harp.  
Be warned, I expect you to sing Gabriel." Michael said._

 _"I shall most willingly." He responded as he watched the Arch Angel float away._

 _He turned his attention to the humans below him. Michael was right,  
He couldn't interfere; it was not his place..._

 _Still..._

 _Gabriel looked back up to where Michael floated off, and then back down .._

 _He sighed heavily, knowing what he had to do. With one last look behind him, Gabriel spread his wings and started his descend._

 

*********************************************************

 

Brian sat across from Giles desk and stared blankly at the doctor. He was vaguely aware that Justin was sitting to his side, watching him intently.

Giles cleared his throat.

"Mr. Kinney, do you understand the situation?" He asked, concerned by Brian's total lack of response.

"I'm pretty clear on the birds and the bees doc. I may be gay, but I don't need a refresher course." Brian said. The sarcasm in his voice did not go unnoticed by either man in the room.

"What I meant Mr. Kinney, is do you have any questions? Decisions will have to be made." He asked.

 

He looked over at Justin and cringed at the guilt and remorse he saw in his eyes.

"Bri, I'm so sorry." He said, his voice cracked with emotion.

"Sorry's bullshit. Instead of telling me how sorry you are, how about telling me how long have you known?" Brian asked.

Pain sliced through Justin at Brian's callous accusation.

"I swear Brian, I didn't know, not until the doctor told me. How the fuck would I know that she was pregnant?!" Justin said.

"I'm not talking about the pregnancy, I'm talking about fucking her. How long have you known you fucked her?" Brian asked.

Justin gasped, shocked at what Brian was insinuating.

Giles cleared his throat.

"Mr. Kinney, I don't think you do understand, Justin was under the influence of..."

"Excuse me Doctor I don't mean to be rude, and if I am, then too fucking bad, but I understand everything perfectly well. I've taken a lot of drugs in my time; I understand their effects all too well. He was drugged, she took advantage, and now she's pregnant. Since we're all clear on that, would you mind giving us some privacy? I'd like a word with my partner." Brian said, his anger barely concealed.

Giles made a disapproving face.

"Very well. But I must inform you that I can only hold Adeline for 48 hours for psychiatric evaluation. After that, we need to get a court order to have her admitted. And there is no guarantee we'll get it." Giles said.

"Yes, well, nothing is guaranteed in this life Doc. We'll deal with that situation when it happens. Right now I need to speak to Justin. Alone." Brian said.

He wanted the fucking doctor out of there, now, before he exploded in front of him. He was trying very hard to keep it together. This was a personal matter, one not to be hashed out in front of anyone.

Giles let out a breath and rose from his chair.

"I'll be on the 3rd floor, where they've taken Adeline, to start the evaluation. If you need me, have me paged." He said then walked out of the office.

The door barely shut behind the doctor when Brian sprang from his chair, knocking it over, in his anger

"That fucking bitch! I'll kill her." He said with such venom it scared Justin.

"Brian calm down." Justin said

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! Do you know the danger she put you in?" He ranted as he started pacing the confines of the small office.

"I know.." Justin whispered.

"NO you don't know! And that's the problem! You don't fucking know a God Damned thing! You don't know our family, our children, or me! You don't remember a fucking thing about us, but you've been up that bitch's ass this whole time, which makes me wonder why!?" Brian stopped pacing and turned angry eyes on him.

"What are you insinuating?" Justin asked, his own eyes narrowing in anger.

"Why have you been putting off telling her that you're not her husband?" Brian asked.

"I told you, it's a feeling, I don't know why!" Justin screamed back.

"Oh perfect. So you feel like you have to protect her, but not your own family." Brian snapped.

"That's not what I said! Stop twisting my words!" Justin cried out.

Tears were forming in his eyes from frustration. Brian was being totally unreasonable, though he couldn't blame him. Up until recently, Justin believed he was Adeline's husband, even taking her side over his at times. He could only imagine the hurt that must have caused him.

"Am I twisting your words? Or am I getting close to the truth? Maybe you got use to playing the devoted husband. Maybe that's why you didn't tell me you fucked her. You knew I'd insist you leave her the moment I found out. Is that why you hid it from me? You didn't want to leave her out of some sense of obligation so you lied to me? I could understand your loyalty to her before we fucked, before you knew I was your partner but I don't understand why you are you still protecting her! Even now knowing she drugged and raped you!" Brian bit out.

Justin gasped at Brian's words.

"That's not true at all! I swear to you, I had no idea she did that to me! I barely remember anything about that first week! I was in a lot of pain, and yes, drinking a lot of that tea. I knew it was powerful, but I just couldn't stand the pain. I never imagined she would take advantage of me in that state! You have to believe that I'm just as angry as you are at what she did to me! To US! But what would you have me do?" Justin asked.

"How about pressing charges for starters? She drugged and raped you! I swear to God I'll make sure she goes to jail for this! That crazy bitch needs to be put away for a long time!" Brian said.

Justin swallowed hard. He knew his next words were going to inflame Brian even more.

"You can't do that Brian. I won't allow it. I won't press charges." He said.

Brian looked at him as if he was looking at a stranger.

"So I am right. You give your loyalty to a stranger over me." Brian said.

Justin could have died right there at the pain he heard in Brian's voice. It sliced right through his heart.

"Noooo..." He cried out and rushed to his side.

"No, Brian please don't say that. I love you!" Justin said.

"You love me, but you don't know me, and I just realized something. I don't know you either. At least we are on even footing now." Brian said.

Justin looked at him, shocked. He didn't know how to respond to that.

"How can you still protect her, after all she's done to us?" Brian asked, his voice pleading in a last attempt to understand what was motivating Justin.

Justin looked him in the eyes.

"Because she's carrying my child." He said holding Brian's gaze.

Brian scoffed at Justin's words. The bitterness inside him rose up and spilled forward.

"Yeah well let's hope she's as unstable as everyone thinks she is and do us all a favor and slit her wrist in her padded cell tonight. That would be the end of that problem." He spit out then regretted his words the minute they left his mouth.

 _  
**"SLAP!!!"**   
_

Justin's hands flew to his mouth in shock and disgust at his own actions.

He slapped Brian across the face.

He NEVER hit Brian before! He didn't have to have his memory to know that. He was sure of it; just as sure as he was of their love. A love he was afraid, was being sorely tested right now.

Brian brought his hand up to feel the heat on his right cheek from where Justin slapped him. He deserved it. He never felt more ashamed. What he just said to Justin was just as bad as what Mikey said to him about Justin when Justin left him.

 _"If you ask me, you should have left him on that garage floor to die..."_

Only he punched Mikey when Mikey said that. He still regretted hitting him. He never condoned hitting someone you love, even when they say hurtful things you know they don't mean.

But what he said to Justin just now was worse than anything Mikey could have said to him because though Mikey loved him, he never loved him the way that Brian loved Justin. Brian's words were unforgivable.

Justin saw the look of regret on Brian's face and mistook it for disillusionment. How could he hit the man he loved more than life itself?

Unable to face his own actions, Justin ran from the office.

Brian sighed deeply.

 _‘Great Kinney, fine fucking mess you made of things now.'_ He thought angrily.

He started to follow Justin when a sharp sudden pain struck him in the middle of his chest. He stopped, trying to control the pain, and his breathing. He took another careful step forward then clutched his chest as the pain intensified.

 _‘Jesus fucking Christ not again!' He thought right before he passed out._

 _*************************************************_

Brian opened his eyes slowly. A feeling of deja vu over came him. He'd been here before. The dream. Where he met Andy after his intervention. The mist had that same thick translucent consistency. The air, almost non-existent, as if it wasn't required. And the complete feeling of inner peace that accompanied it was something Brian never would forget.

Yep. He'd been here before. That place between Heaven and earth, as Andy explained it.

He got to his feet slowly and looked around expecting to see Andy, but then remembered Andy was back on earth. So why was he here, again?

He started walking through the mist, feeling his way, when suddenly it cleared and he was standing in front of a man who was sitting on a rock, smoking a cigar.

The man smiled and nodded his head in greeting to Brian.

 _He was an odd sort of looking man. He had bright red curly hair that was tightly cropped to his head. He was wearing a dark green suit with a yellow shirt, red bow tie and poker dotted vest. It gave off a clownish appearance. His eyes were small, as if he was squinting, Brian couldn't tell their color._

"So you're Brian Kinney." He said in a thick, gravely voice that belied his comical appearance. He sounded like a thug from an old mafia movie.

 _"And who the fuck are you?" Brian asked._

"Elliot."

"Ok Elliot, why am I here? Am I dead?" He asked.

"I don't deal with the dead. Well not usually." He answered.

Brian raised his eyebrow. "So who do you deal with?" He asked.

"Live souls that the Angels are not allowed to have contact with. You see, when an Angel wants something communicated to an living soul that he can't communicate himself, he calls on me." Elliot explained.

"Oh, so you're the buffer." Brian said tongue in cheek. He couldn't help make the comparison considering the man sounded just like a gangster.

Elliot smiled. "Yeah, the buffer. Just like in Godfather two. Great movie. Good description. Let's just say the Angels have a lot of ‘buffers'. They just can't resist interfering in humans life's." Elliot said.

"Hmmm.. I bet. I got one Angel in my head sprouting shit about ‘seek the lineage' all the time." Brian said.

"Yeah, well they can give hints, and guide, but they can't give direct instructions or information. For that, they call on me." Elliot said.

Brian was intrigued.

"So what information were you sent to give me?" Brian asked.

"First you tell me something." Elliot said.

"If I can. What do you want to know?" He asked.

"What's it like?" Elliot said.

Brian furrowed his brow confused at the question.

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific with that one El." Brian said.

"Sex. What's it like. It's the basis for human existence. Your lives are centered on it. When you're not having it, you're in pursuit of it. What makes it so powerful?" Elliot asked.

Brian laughed. "I can't believe I'm the first person you've put that question to." He remarked.

Elliot shook his head and took another puff of his cigar.

"No, but every now and then, I get a different answer. I'm curious as to how you would describe sex." Elliot said.

Brian thought this was the oddest conversation for an Angel to be having.

"I'm not an Angel." Elliot said having read Brian's thoughts.

"So what are you?"

"A minion of sorts. Now answer the question." Elliot said.

Brian sighed. What the fuck? He thought.

"Sex is like being at an amusement park." Brian answered flippantly.

Elliot curled his lip and huffed.

"Not much of an answer. How is it like an amusement park?" He prodded.

"Have you ever been to one? If you haven't you should. You're dressed for it." Brian said cheekily.

Elliot ignored him and waited for him to continue.

"The amusement park is a fun, magical place. Just thinking about going makes your heart pound, your palms sweat, and butterflies form in your stomach; all from the anticipation of all the fun you know you'll have once you get there. Then, when you're there, you want to do everything. So you try out all the games, the rides, and eat all the sweets and fried food. And it's all good. Each thing you try, each game, each new food, each ride, gives you a euphoric feeling like none other. And it's never the same experience twice, though the food is all pretty much the same, as are the rides, but in the end, you're exhilarated from having tried them all. That's sex. You want to try it all, and even if it isn't that great, it doesn't matter. You're still at the park; you're still part of it all." Brian explained.

Elliot looked amused.

"Not bad." He said.

"So then what's love like?" He asked.

"Love is the big roller coaster ride. The one you keep putting off getting on because it just scares the shit out of you. It's big, and looks like it goes on forever and you really don't know if you can survive it. So you avoid it, content with all the other things the park has to offer, but then one day, someone comes along and tells you they'll go on the ride with you and suddenly it doesn't look so scary anymore. So you get on with that person and the ride is everything you expected it to be and more. It's scary and exhilarating, constantly throwing you this way and that and you find that you never want to get off. As long as that person sitting next to you is still holding your hand, you eagerly await the next twist and turn, and ups and downs knowing that someone else is feeling the same terrifying, exhilarating thrill you are. It has to be experienced, together because it really can't be described. That's love." Brian said.

Elliot whistled low in his throat.

"Not bad at all." He said and smiled at Brian.

"And how's your ride going?" Elliot inquired.

Brian sighed.

"Well, at the moment, it seems we've derailed." Brian admitted.

 _Elliot took another long pull of his cigar._

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much. Humans' often get derailed in life. Won't be long before you're on track again." He said.

Brian smiled and nodded is head in agreement. He was very optimistic, which was very out of character for him but he couldn't help himself.

 _With all the shit going on in his life, none of it matter here. He felt very content in this place. It had that affect on him. It was, in its own way, another type of amusement park._

"So, I showed you mine, now you show me yours." Brian said getting to the point of his being here.

"The lineage is the key. You have to have that knowledge before you can break the curse. That man, James, is gathering all the information you'll need as we speak. Once you get it, it's very important that the boy remembers. You won't be able to break the curse if he doesn't remember." Elliot said.

Brian frowned. "And how do I get him to remember? I've tried everything. He's starting to recall bits of our past, but he still doesn't remember major chunks of it." Brian said.

"I'm not talking about your soul mate. That problems been solved. You've successfully managed to shock his soul awake with that little stunt you pulled. Actually, the stunt I pulled by pulling your soul out, sorry about that by the way... but I digress, I'm talking about your brother." Elliot said.

"Andy?" Brian asked confused.

 _"Alexander, but yes, Andy as you know him. He must remember." Elliot said._

Brian shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. It didn't make sense.

"What am I missing here? What does Andy need to remember?" Brian asked.

"He's already remembered that he was Alexander O'Hara in a past life, hasn't he?" Elliot asked.

Brian recalled the day in the cabin when Andy had the vision of him, as Alexander O'Hara, talking to his grandmother.

"Yes, he had a vision. His grandmother was about to be executed for some crime." Brian said.

 _"Very good. That's a huge step. But he must remember the rest." Elliot said then got up from the rock and turned to leave._

 _"Wait! Is that it? That's all the Angel wanted me to know?" Brian asked._

 _"Oh yeah, Gabriel also said to tell you to choose wisely. Almost forgot that, sorry. The wrong choice will cause the curse to continue for another generation, at least." Elliot said over his shoulder, never looking back as he walked off._

 _Brian watched him disappear into the fog and cursed._

 _"Choice? What choice?!! Fuck! We'll that was a big fucking help! Thanks a lot Gabriel!" He said sarcastically._

 _..."You're welcome"..._

The Angels voice spoke in his head.

 

Brian felt tired, very tired. He was having a hard time standing. He went to take a step and missed. The sensation of falling overcame him...

 

***************************************************************

 

"Brian! Get up! I swear to God I'll never forgive you if you go into another fucking coma!"

Brian heard Justin's voice. He opened his eyes.

"His blood pressure is back down to normal now. He'll be fine, he just passed out because it spiked too high. He should be on medication." The nurse said.

Justin had heard Brian fall once he left the office and ran back in screaming. The nurse at the station followed him. They found Brian lying on the floor unconscious. The nurse called the doctor and they took his blood pressure. It was soaring so they shot him with something and he was just now coming around.

Justin had never been so scared in his life he thought, and the very next thought he had was, _‘yes I was'_. When Brian got shot and went into a coma for ten weeks.

And just like that, he remembered. Everything. Seeing Brian lying on the floor unconscious or worse...jarred something awake in Justin and his memory came rushing back to him.

"He is on medication. He probably forgot to take it. If I'm not there to remind him, he forgets." Justin said.

"Well then young man I suggest you make sure you're around so he does take it. Any more episodes like this, and it could lead to more serious complications." The doctor said.

"I promise doctor, I will. I won't leave him alone again." He said turning loving, tear filled eyes to Brian.

"Well I'll be on my way. No more need for me here. Nurse, give him some juice then you can send them home." The doctor said then turned to leave.

Brian slowly sat up with the help of the nurse and Justin.

"How do you feel?" The nurse asked him.

Brian looked over at Justin and smiled.

 _'He's back...My Sunshine is back._ '

"Like we're back on track." He said then pulled Justin in for a kiss.


	19. The Family Tree

**"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."**

 **\-- Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill**

 

"Uncle James, Uncle James!"

The boisterous, yet melodic tiny voices assaulted James ears the moment he walked through the doors.

He barely had time to put his bags down when he was attacked by two very energetic children, who successfully managed to knock him to the floor, despite their small frames. James laughed a little surprised at the combined strength of the six year old twins. They were their fathers' children, no doubt about that.

"Andy! Maria! Get up off of Uncle James before you hurt him!" Fran yelled out in her renowned, irritating, nasal voice.

"I think I'll survive their attack, but that shrill voice of yours just might cause me permanent hearing damage." James teased as he turned the tables on the children and pinned them to the ground, tickling each mercilessly.

"Ha Ha..! Very funny James. I wonder if Emmett will think it so funny." Fran said with a smirk on her face.

She and Emmett had become thick as thieves in the past several years. They confided and consulted with each other on everything, including their wardrobes much to James horror. Emmett's outrageous penchant for loud colors and flamboyant designers were bad enough with out having the queen of peacocks advising him. Together they looked like a Picasso painting gone bad.

"Well these imps think it's quite funny, don't you?" James said then tickled them harder causing them to shriek louder in delight.

"Un...cle...Jaaaaameeess...stooppp!!!!" Maria and Andy both pleaded through tears of laughter.

"First tell me, who's your favorite Uncle?" James asked as he continued his tickle assault.

"Auntttttttttttttiiiiiieeeeeee Emmmmmmmmeeetttttt!" They both squealed, knowing full well their answer would only bring on more, possibly new forms of playful torture.

James stopped abruptly and sat up, a look of feigned horror on his face.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to wait until you see Auntie Emmett to collect the gifts I brought you, since he's your favorite!" James huffed like a petulant child.

James' pouting only made the children giggle harder.

"They got your number James. You know, if you let this side of you show more, you might be passably likeable." Fran teased.

James was for all intended purposes a dignified man. Fran always marveled at his and Emmett's relationship. Emmett was spontaneous, fanciful, and openly demonstrative, where as James was structured, militant in his beliefs, and detested public displays of affection. Yet the two complemented each other perfectly.

James slowly got up from the floor pulling two tiny tots under his arms with him.

"I did let this side of me show once Fran. It landed me Em. Now I save my childish antics for young children and drag queens, like yourself." James threw back.

He was being uncharacteristically facetious. When James was around the twins, or Rena or Shane's kids he turned into a big kid himself. Fran liked him this way.

"So this is unexpected. You do know we're leaving for France tomorrow morning, don't you?" Fran asked.

James walked into the living room and dumped the twins, gently, onto the couch then looked over at Fran.

"Tomorrow? No, I wasn't told. When did this happen?" He asked.

"Daddy called us today!" Andy piped up.

James eyes lit up. "Your Daddy called?" He asked.

"Yes! He was crying too, he misses us so much." Maria said.

"He hit his head and had a bump and couldn't remember anything!" Andy piped in.

"But he's all better now and wants us to come to France right away!" Maria said

"Uncle John is giving us his private Jet to fly us there to see him tomorrow!" Andy chimed in.

"And the Eiffel tower!" Maria said.

"And we get to stay in Aunt Vivs big house!" Andy said.

The children just kept rambling in perfect unison. Where one left off, the other picked up.

James turned to Fran.

"So, Justin has his memory back?" He asked.

"Seems that way, and he wants his kids with him ASAP. So we're all flying out in the morning. Joan's freaking out of course. She hates flying." Fran said.

"I know. Where is Joan? I need to talk to her." James said.

"Uncle James OUR PRESENTS?!" The twins demanded as they pulled on his coat tails.

James laughed. "Your presents are in my bag. If you let go of me, I'll get them." He said.

The twins immediately released James allowing him to retrieve their gifts from his bag.

When he returned he had two boxes wrapped in shiny blue foil paper in his hands.

The children were kneeling on the couch wide eyes with eager faces. James thought he never saw a more adorable sight.

He handed each their gifts and watched as they ripped through the wrappings.

"Oh Uncle James! These are sooo great, thank you! I'm going to share one, but JUST one with my friend Kelly." Maria said.

James had brought her a box of chocolates that were shaped like individual little Eiffel towers.

"And of course you'll share with your brothers." James said.

"Andy hates chocolate, and Johnny was mean to me today so he doesn't get any." Maria pouted.

"Hey I don't hate chocolate!" Andy protested.

Maria smirked at him.

Andy stuck his tongue out at her and then opened his own gift.

His face widened in a smile that shone so bright, it reminded James of Justin.

"Thank you Uncle James! I love it!" Andy said then threw himself into James' arms.

James was very pleased. He had bought Andy a Vintage WW I SPAD fighter model airplane. The boy had a remarkable interest in vintage airplanes. Justin use to read to him Snoopy and the Red Baron books from birth. Andy developed a fascination with the Red Baron and his airplane. Last Christmas, James had bought him the actual Red Baron model airplane. He took pride in knowing it was the lad's most prized possession.

"You're very welcome whelp." He said and hugged the boy tightly.

"Now get you two. Go harass someone else. I need to talk to your grandmother." James said.

The twins hopped off the couch, gifts in hand, and took off no doubt to seek more mischief somewhere else.

James sighed lightly. "Where is Johnny?" He asked.

"Out playing basketball with his friends, where else?" Fran said.

"Of course." James said smiling.

Johnny was just a junior in high school and already was scouted out by some big league colleges. He was 16 and already 6'4" and lived for the game. His doctor said he was not done growing yet either. When the time came, everyone knew he'd have a full scholarship to any college of his choosing. He was that good.

James walked into the kitchen and pulled down the bottle of Beam that Brian kept in the top cabinet over the refrigerator and poured himself a drink.

"What's wrong?" Fran asked coming up behind James. For as long as she knew James, she never saw him drink this early in the day.

"I need to talk to Joan." He answered taking a sip of the dark brown liquid.

"Hmmm...you said that. Mind telling me about what?" She asked tilting her head.

"Yes." James answered then finished the contents of his glass.

"Now please tell Joan I'm here." He said.

He walked over to the sink and washed the glass out, effectively dismissing Fran. Fran frowned and turned to get Joan.

A few minutes later Joan walked into the kitchen.

"James! I'm so glad to see you! Did my son send you to escort us to France?" she asked walking up to him.

She stopped right in front of him, but did not offer any kind of physical greeting such as a handshake or hug. She merely smiled up at him.

James smiled back. He understood Joan. She was not a demonstrative woman by any means, especially with men, though who could blame her? Having a husband like Jack must have been very difficult on her. From what he learned, he was a cold abusive man.

"It's nice to see you too Joan. However I'm here for an entirely different reason. I just found out myself that Justin got his memory back. I can't tell you how relieved and happy I am." James said sincerely.

"We're all overjoyed with the news. It's truly a miracle." She said then sighed heavily.

"The good Lord has blessed us greatly this day." She declared.

James just nodded his head.

"Joan, I'm here because your son has sent me on a mission, and I need your help." James said.

He walked over to the dining room table and pulled a chair out for her to sit in.

"A mission? Sounds mysterious. What is my son up to now?" Joan said with a smile as she took the offered seat.

James walked around the table and sat across from her.

"Brian has asked me to investigate his and Justin's family history. He's putting together a genealogy log to hand down to the children." James said.

Joan physically stiffened.

"There is not much to tell about our family." Joan said.

"Well, I've done some investigating on my own actually and have found out some very interesting facts concerning your family history. I was hoping you could elaborate on some things." James said.

Joan's total demeanor changed instantly.

"I advise you to drop it James. You're digging around in my past will only cause Brian pain." She said.

James believed he knew what she was talking about. As part of his investigation he went back to New York were Rena and Brian grew up. He talked to some people in the neighborhood who remembered the Cardies and Kinney's. There were some very disturbing, and enlightening rumors that kept surfacing from the different people he talked to.

"Joan, I know." James said. He was bluffing of course, he only knew rumors, no facts, but he needed Joan to confirm these rumors, or deny them. Either way, she was the only one who knew the truth.

Joan pulled a handkerchief from her dress pocket and put it to her mouth as her eyes started to water.

James reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort.

"It's ok Joan. It's time you told your son the truth. I have to report to him what I found out. Don't you think it would be better if it came from you?" James asked.

Joan wiped her eyes with the handkerchief and sighed deeply.

"No. Nothing can make this better. He can't know James. Ever. It will kill him." She said.

James frowned. "Trust me Joan, it won't kill him. Brian has survived much worse. Besides, it's the past. All involved are long gone, dead. What's done is done. It can't hurt you anymore." James said.

Joan huffed out a bitter laugh.

"God I wish that were true, but there seems to be no way to escape our past or the pain it continues to inflict on our family ...." She said in a very sad, defeated voice.

"That's not true Joan. You can escape the past and the hold it has on you and your family, but first you have to face it." James said

Joan looked at him, grief evident in her eyes. He was right. It was time; past time her son knew the truth of his heritage.

She clenched the handkerchief tightly in her hands and lowered her eyes.

"Brian knows his father wanted me to abort him, but he doesn't know why." Joan said.

James narrowed his eyes in confusion at her words. It was not what he expected.

"Why did Jack what you to have an abortion?" He asked.

"To break the curse." She said.

James sat back stunned. He knew all about the curse from Nana, but he had no idea Joan knew about the curse. No, what he was expecting from her was validation about the rumors of Jack and his affairs. This put a whole new twist on things.

"I don't understand. How would aborting his child break the curse?" James asked extremely curious now.

"I see you already know all about the curse." She stated more than asked.

James nodded.

"Well then you know my great ancestor, Alexander O'Hara, inadvertently cursed himself and his descendants when he cursed the person who had his grandmother killed. He had no idea that Abigail Preston, the woman whose testimony sent his grandmother to her death, was his own mother. Or that he had a twin brother.

 

..."Before the night is over, before this day is through,  
For what you've done today, I cast this spell on you..  
Seven generations all male their blood to spill  
Pain, suffering and death, all this be my will   
To feed my vengeance I have sworn  
For each and every male that's born  
Until the wrong is right again  
This curse will never ever end..."

 

Joan recited the curse perfectly. As if it's been imbedded in her brain forever.

 

James looked at her confused.

 

"I understand that by placing the curse on his own mother he was cursing himself and his descendants, but what does this have to do with Jack wanting to abort Brian?" James asked.

 

"Until the wrong is right again, this curse will never, ever end.." Joan repeated as if that should make James understand.

 

He didn't. The look on his face conveyed that.

 

Joan sighed exasperated. "Until the wrong is right again! What was the wrong? A Preston killed an O'Hara. To right the wrong, an O'Hara has to kill a Preston. But since there is no record of what happened to the Preston clan that wasn't an option. So Jack figured that in order to end the curse, an O'Hara had to sacrifice his own child to ‘right the wrong' since technically any O'Hara child also carries the Preston blood in his veins. When I told him I was pregnant, he told me I had to abort the child. He blamed the curse for all the bad luck he's had his entire life." Joan said.

 

"Wait, that doesn't make sense Joan! The curse was placed on the O'Hara's and the Preston's. Jack was a Kinney! Why did he believe he was cursed?" James asked.

 

"Hmm... I see someone hasn't done all their homework. Jack's great grandmother was an O'Hara. Technically Jack was my fourth cousin. My parents married me off to him right after Aidan was murdered." Joan said.

 

You could have blown James over with a feather right there and then. NOW it was starting to make sense! The rumors, the connection to Andy.

 

"Jesus Joan, you're right. I haven't done my homework! I didn't know Jacks mother was an O'Hara. He was affected by the curse then, wasn't he?" He said.

 

"Yes, he was. When Alexander died, he left behind, from all accounts, more than one village girl with child. He, like Jack, was a ladies man." Joan said, disdain heavy in her tone.

 

"From his children, came the O'Hara clan. Jacks mother was the great, great, great, grand daughter of Brian O'Hara, Alexander's son from one of the village girls. She married a Kinney. My father, Riley O'Hara was a descendant of the second son born of Alexander, by another village girl." Joan explained.

 

"You see my family tree has many branches." Joan said.

 

More branches then you're aware Joan... James thought.

 

He wondered how she would react when she finds out the Preston clan is not only still around, but once again, joined with the O'Hara clan through Brian and Justin's union.

 

"Yes. And all the male branches carry this damned curse! Including my own son." Joan said bitterly.

 

"And Andy." James said eyeing Joan carefully for her reaction.

 

"You see why we can't tell Brian! How do you think he'll react knowing his sons are cursed! Don't forget Gus. He carries the O'Hara curse as well. Brian won't be able to live with the guilt of knowing he was responsible for passing on the curse to his sons. And he'd never forgive me for not telling him." Joan said frantically.

 

She knew if Brian were aware of the curse he would have never had Gus, or the twins. She wished she was closer to him back then. If she had known he was intending to have children she would have told him, but it was too late now.

 

James took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair.

 

"I wasn't talking about Brian's son Andy, I was referring to his brother, Andy Cardie." James said.

 

Joan gasped. She never told a soul about that. Jack was too afraid to ever breathe a word of it, and she knew Maria Cardie took that secret to her grave.

 

"How?" She asked wondering how James found out.

 

"Jacks affairs were no secret Joan. He had an affair with Maria Cardie, didn't he? And that affair resulted in the birth of her son. Andy Cardie." James said.

 

Joan put her hands to her face as if to hide her shame. Tears fell from her eyes as she spoke.

 

"Yes, yes it's true!" She wailed.

 

"Jack had many affairs, but no one ever got pregnant, or if they did, they got rid of it without telling Jack. But Maria was different. She had very strong beliefs about the sanctity of life. She was a devote catholic, more so than me. She refused to abort the child. When Jack found out she was pregnant he was frantic. Her husband was a very powerful police sergeant. Back then it wouldn't be uncommon for a police officer to shoot you dead and get away with it." Joan said.

 

James snorted. "Unfortunately that's not uncommon today as well." He commented.

 

Joan nodded. "He begged her, for the sake of his family, that she have an abortion. You see we had Claire by then. Jack loved Claire, well, as much as he could love anyone. Maria knew her husband would kill Jack if he knew. So she chose to pass the child off as Emilians'. I agreed to keep the secret." Joan said.

 

"Did you really think something like that would remain secret forever? People talk Joan. Rumors of Jacks affair with Maria spread throughout your neighborhood, along with suspicions about the paternity of her child. I suspect those rumors eventually found their way to Emilian." James said.

 

"What are you talking about?! That can't be true! He would have killed Jack if he'd known!" Joan said, her spine growing more rigid with each word.

 

"How did Maria die?" James asked.

 

Joan looked at him surprised, not expecting the question.

 

"They said it was pneumonia." She said.

 

"I heard there was a closed casket at her funeral, is that true?" James asked.

 

"Yes, there was. Why do you ask?" Joan asked.

 

"Because when someone dies of pneumonia, there's no reason for a closed casket. Closed caskets are reserved normally for bodies that undertakers can't fix to look presentable for showing." James remarked.

 

"What are you saying?" Joan asked.

 

"I'm saying it's very possible that Emilian found out, or at least suspected, at some point that Andy wasn't his son and killed Maria. With all his power on the force, he could have easily covered it up. It makes perfect sense because right after her death, he started abusing Andy. I've had experiences with men like Emilian. He obviously did not know who Andy's father was because Jack was still alive. Maria didn't give Jack up and it most likely cost her, her life. So since he couldn't take his rage out on the man who made him a fool, in his eyes, he took it out on his son." James deduced.

 

It was probably why he raped Rena as well, James thought. He didn't trust she was his blood daughter either. After he killed his wife, and his son, he turned his rage on Rena. Fortunately, Brian took her away before he killed her as well.

 

James refrained from sharing his thoughts with Joan. She had enough to deal with the possibility that Maria's and her son's death was the result of her husbands' infidelities.

 

Joan broke down and started wailing.

 

"Nooo... nooo... nooo!!! Dear God no! I tried, I swear I tried. I never said a word! I did the best I could to protect her and her son! It's not fair! That woman was innocent, as was her son!" Joan sobbed out.

 

"Joan, you have to tell Brian." James said.

He knew it would be best if the truth came from her.

 

"I can't! He'll hate me! And besides, what good will it do now? No matter what anyone does the curse destroys all it touches! That poor boy died a horrible death because of the curse!" Joan wailed near hysteria.

 

"Andy died because Emilian was an evil man who killed him." James corrected.

 

"NOOO! You're wrong! Andy was Jacks child, a descendant of the O'Hara's! The curse was responsible for his tragic life and death! Just like it was responsible for my dear sweet brothers' murder, and the reason why my father suffered from depression so bad he eventually drank himself to death. It killed my husband Jack! He died a horrible death, suffering for years until the cancer finally ate away at him till there was nothing left but bones to bury! It's the cause of my own sons' tragic past! He was beaten, abused, shot, and God knows what else he's never told me! It's all because of the curse! God damn that curse to HELL!" She shouted furiously, visibly shaking from the intense emotions she was feeling.

 

James walked around the table and gently placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to console her. He wanted to refute her beliefs, but couldn't. He was starting to believe himself there was truth to the curses' power.

 

"Shhhh... Joan, listen to me. If there is a curse, then we'll find a way to break it. Brian will make sure of it." James tried to soothe her.

 

"But how!? Maybe Jack was right; maybe a Preston child needs to die in order for the curse to be broken. But that's impossible since no one knows what happened to Abigail Preston, or her son Jonathon." Joan rationalized, trying to regain her composure.

 

A chill ran down James spine. He knew exactly what became of the Preston clan. They survived and Justin was a direct descendant of the Preston line. As was his son, Andy.

 

"Joan, we have to tell Brian. If what you say is true, he needs to be told. He has two sons to protect. He can't do that if we don't tell him the truth." James said.

 

"I know, you're right. But how do I tell him? How do I tell my son that my ancestors have cursed him and his sons?" Joan asked dejectedly.

 

"Actually Joan, Brian already knows about the curse. He just doesn't know the origins, or details. It's why he has me investigating his family history. He's trying to find a way to break the curse before it does any more damage to him or Justin." James said.

 

"He knows! How did he find out?!! Wait, Justin? Why would the curse be affecting Justin?" Joan asked.

 

James debated for all of 20 seconds before he decided to tell Joan the whole truth.

 

"Because Justin's great, great, great, great, great grandfather was Jonathon Preston."

 

************************************************************

"Ok, my turn." Brian said, a sexy smirk playing around his lips.

 

It had been eighteen excruciating hours since Justin got his memory back. Excruciating because Justin was in full speed ‘catch up' mode ever since.

 

The very first thing he did when his memory returned was call their children. Three weeks with no contact was inexcusable in his view. He knew Johnny and the twins were worried about him, and Justin could not stand being the cause of their worry. He insisted that they be flown out in the mourning to be with them. Brian called John and had it arranged. He would have flown them in sooner, except he didn't want them to see their daddy when he had no memory of them, it would have crushed them.

 

After he called the children, he made Brian take him to the Chateau to see Lizzy. His memory was back with a vengeance. Brian told him over and over again that Lizzy was fine, but all Justin could see was her trapped in that car under the water with him. He had to see for himself that she was fine.

After that emotional reunion, Justin went to see his mother at the art gallery. She'd taken over guardianship of his students, and made sure his, and their exhibits went off without a hitch. Needless to say, all his family did to make sure his work continued on while he took an unexpected break from his life overwhelmed him.

 

Then it was back to the Chateau where the rest of the family waited anxiously for him. Tears, hugs, and ‘welcome home', was passed around. After much ado over his ‘return', Brian's frustration won out and he literally dragged Justin away to their bedroom, which was where he currently stood, staring at his lover, looking very much like a Panther that was about to pounce upon his prey.

 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they had a lot to talk about, decisions had to be made and there was little time to do it. But that would have to come later. Right now he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in his boy.

 

The last few times they fucked, Justin didn't have his memory. Though their bodies needed no memory to instinctively connect and bring each other spectacular orgasms as usual, each time they fucked Brian felt like a part of Justin was missing. The part that spoke volumes to Brian without uttering a word while he was deeply imbedded in him had been silent.

 

Now that Justin had his full memory back, Brian needed to ‘hear' his Sunshine communicate with him again, with his body, and soul.

 

Justin saw the predatory look in Brian's eyes and graced him with one of his million watt smiles.

 

Brian's breath caught in his throat and his nostril's flared in response to it. Nothing affected him like one of Justin's smiles.

 

"Miss me?" Justin asked coyly.

 

Brian growled in response. He reached out and grabbed Justin roughly, pulling him in for a kiss.

 

Justin expected it. The kiss was rough and domineering. Brian's mouth ravished his, taking and giving, but mostly searching. His partner was searching for ‘him' and Justin opened his soul to him.

 

Brian's heart rejoiced at the multitude of unspoken thoughts his soul heard coming from Justin's kiss.   
_‘I'm here, I'm yours, always.'_ It said, loud and clear.

 

Together they started ripping each other's clothes off as they stumbled to the bed. With limbs entwined, they fell on to the bed, their hands eagerly exploring each other's bodies.

 

Brian held on to him tightly, afraid to let go, afraid if he did, Justin might slip away again.

 

Justin sensed Brian's fear. He gently pealed himself away from Brian's grasp and straddled him. He gazed down at his partner with love filled eyes.

 

"I'm not going anywhere." He said the words out loud in a husky voice.

 

Brian held on to his hips as he stared into those baby blues.

 

"You don't know that. Fuck Justin, these past few weeks taught me that nothing is certain." Brian said.

 

"Don't say that! Even without my memory I knew the moment I saw you I wanted you. I'll never stop wanting you Bri, I'll never stop loving you." Justin said passionately.

 

"It's not our love I doubt, it's our future." Brian said.

 

Justin bit his bottom lip worriedly. He knew what Brian was talking about. He had told him he thought they were cursed, and that Andy being here had something to do with it. But he just couldn't believe it, or maybe he didn't want to for if indeed there was a curse, not only would it explain so much of the tragedy they've had in their past, it meant more was coming down the road.

 

"Because of the curse?" He whispered, almost afraid to voice the question out loud.

 

Brian's eyes grew dark.

 

"Yes, and I'm starting to get the feeling its got a stronger hold on us now, then it did before." Brian said.

 

His dire prediction hung in the air, dense and foreboding. Like a dark cloud threatening to burst open, washing all their hopes and dreams away.

 

Fear consumed Justin and he shook slightly from it.

 

Brian gripped Justin's hip tighter and shook him.

 

"Don't." He said passionately.

 

"I swear to you, I won't let it destroy us. Together, we'll find a way to break it." Brian vowed.

 

Justin nodded his head, accepting Brian's words as absolute truth. He had total faith in his partner. He learned long time ago never to doubt Brian, it almost cost them their lives the one time he did; he was not about to make that mistake again.

 

"I know we will. I'm not about to let some curse wreck all we've worked so hard for. Besides, I'm a spoiled brat who gets whatever I want. And I want us to be happy. So make it so." Justin said teasingly as he cocked his head at Brian.

 

Brian laughed and relaxed a bit. Yes, his Sunshine was back. Only Justin, his soul mate, believed in him so strongly, never doubting him. He had no fucking clue how they were to break the curse, but Justin had faith that he could, simply because he said he would.

 

"Come here." He said, his voice dipped an octave.

 

Justin leaned forward at the command. Brian brought his hand up to cup the back of Justin's head and guided him towards his mouth.

 

"I want you." Brian whispered into his mouth.

 

"You have me." Justin replied, his lips fluttered against Brian's.

 

"Inside me..." Brian said.

 

Justin's heart skipped a beat at Brian's request.

 

"But I'm already in you Brian. You carry my heart, you carry it in your heart." Justin said.

Brains eyes teared up at Justin's words.

He cupped his face and kissed him deeply, savoring the feel and taste of his lover.

 _‘How can so much love be cursed?'_ He wondered as he felt Justin scrape his teeth against his bottom lip.

 _.....It cannot. And there is your answer...._

Came Gabriel's voice.

Brian jerked back from Justin at the unexpected voice in his head.

"What?" Justin asked, a worried frown marring his brow.

"Love." Brian said.

Justin waited for him to elaborate.

"That's our answer. Somehow, love will break the curse." Brian said.

"But how? I mean we have love, against all odds, our love remained strong and still we're cursed." Justin said.

"I don't know how, but I know that somehow, love will be the key to breaking the curse. Now all we have to do is figure out the details." Brian said.

"Hmmm. Well you know what they say, the devil is in the details." Justin remarked warily.

Brian flipped Justin over onto his back and loomed over him.

"I wouldn't worry about the devil if I were you Sonny boy. I'd be more worried about how you're going to be able to keep up with me tonight?" Brian said.

His mood was greatly lifted having heard from Gabriel that there was an answer, one that he knew now, after living all those years without it, was the answer. One way or another, he'd find a way to break the curse with love. And he was about to start practicing his special brand of love on his blonde.

Justin peered up at Brian with a small frown.

"I thought you were going to let me top?" He pouted sexily as he drew small circles on Brian's forearms with his fingers.

Brian laughed. "You little brat. You know full well you always top from the bottom. Your ass commands, and my dick follows." Brian said.

It was the truth. Brian had topped literally thousands of men in his time and never once did he feel controlled by a bottom, not until Justin came along. Brian would eat fucking nails to get to Justin's sweet ass, he was that addicted to it. Oh he was pretty good at covering up his addiction for the first few years they were together, but eventually, Justin caught on and true to character, used it to his own advantage. Justin was the bossiest bottom ever. _"Harder, faster, deeper, more.."_ And Brian obeyed. He long ago accepted that his pleasure was dependent upon Justin's. There was nothing more blissful then having his cock buried deep in his boys ass, hearing him scream out his name in pleasure. And on those occasions when Justin topped him, ah, well it was the closest to heaven he'd ever get.

"Well then, this royal highness commands that you fuck the shit out of me. And then, when your cock is too sore to fuck anymore, and I've squeezed every ounce of cum you have out of you and your reduced to a pile of sweat soaked, malleable mound of flesh.....it's my turn." Justin said bringing his legs up around Brian's waist.

"As you wish." Brian said then proceeded to do his Prince's bidding.


	20. The Winds

**"What starts out as a warm breeze turns into something more  
Like the lightning burns down houses  
Or the wind that blows down doors  
Oh I see it in the distance   
It moves much faster than I think  
Yes this storm will wreak much havoc  
Bring my sanity to the brink"**

 **~ The Storms Coming by Ed Hartcourt**

 

The blackening skies were a clear indication of the vicious storm that was to follow. Fat droplets of rain sporadically fell to the ground as gusts of winds swept up the city streets.

Jagger pulled the hood of his worn bomber jacket over his head in an attempt to ward off the coming rain. People scattered to and fro, some with newspapers held over their heads in search of shelter, others heedless of the rain, yet just as frantic to reach their destinations. Windshield wipers along with headlights were turned on and a continuous stream of honking commenced as drivers attempted to hurry the traffic along before the full fury of the storm hit the streets.

"This way" he instructed his two companions as he turned the corner.

Each street was starting to look like the last. Tall shabby buildings littered the sidewalks, each leaning precariously into the other. Shops of various trades, mostly liquor stores and pawnshops, took up residence in the lower half of the pitiful pile of bricks and motor, while dilapidated apartments occupied the upper half. The residents of this particular part of town complimented the architecture. Grungy and abrasive was one way to describe them. It was kinder than some of the other adjectives that popped into his head.

Lucas, his drummer, groaned communicating his weariness.

It was time to find a place to stay for the night Jagger thought. They'd been walking ever since his car got towed away. The mechanic -slash- tow truck driver said he wouldn't be able to fix it until tomorrow, which meant they had to find a place to stay tonight in this slum. He was feeling restless so he decided to walk in lieu of hailing a cab hoping to soak in some local color. Unfortunately, his fucking piece of shit Porsche broke down in one of the worse neighborhoods in Yorkshire. The only colors here were rust and black.

He knew his band members, Lucas and Booger, were more than a bit peeved at him for dragging them out on a ‘road trip', in the middle of rehearsal, but he really couldn't give a fuck. He needed to either get out, or get drunk, and he opted for out.

Ever since he left France, and Corrine, he'd been chomping at the bit to get back to her. He hated leaving under such unresolved circumstances but it couldn't be helped. He had commitments to his band. He already cancelled two shows in France to which Janice had royally bitched him out for. He had to put them back on the tour at the end, which meant an extension to his time away.

Great, more fucking time away from her. He thought.

More time for her to think she was rid of him. More time for her to convince herself she did the right thing by rejecting him. More time for her to keep fucking that ‘Dan' guy.

 

Jagger growled audibly at that last thought.

"Well I'm glad we're not the only ones put out by this grand adventure of yours." Booger said.

Jagger shot him a menacing look. "No one twisted your arm Boog. Now fuck off." Jagger snarled.

Booger was smart enough to know when to keep his mouth shut. When Jagger got pissed, everyone felt the brunt of his anger. Though they'd been friends for several years now, Booger was not in a position to tell Jag when he was being an asshole. His livelihood depended on Jagger being happy so he could keep making music.

A part of Booger was ashamed that he was too much of a coward to be a real friend to Jagger. He just couldn't afford to be. Often he and other band members turned their heads when they saw him using, or fucking around too much, and with other band and crewmembers girlfriends. Everyone just let it slide. His former publicist however called him on his shit, telling him he was getting a bad rap in the tabloids. Jagger responded by firing him. His Dad got him his new publicist. From that point on, no one said a fucking word to Jagger about his personal habits. They just prayed he stayed sober, and they stayed employed. The band was really taking off now, and it was important that they stay on track.

Everyone had high hopes when Jagger came back from rehab. Their last album soared on the charts, and this tour was sold out. But then he was called away on some family emergency, and since returning, he seemed to be picking up on his old habits. Like this impromptu road trip. It was impulsive, and dangerous. Something the old Jagger would do. Jagger was once again demon driven, though it wasn't drugs or booze driving him this time. It was something else, something he refused to talk about.

Jagger paused at the end of the street they were currently on and looked up. He looked up through the thick fog that was forming and made out a sign flashing the word "Vacant."

"Well, we've slept in worse." Booger said.

"Not much." Jagger replied.

He looked up at the crumbling building in front of him in disgust. The windows to the upper rooms were barred which was a good thing since most of them were broken. The building was old and decaying and an awful odor was emanating from it. Cracked concrete steps led up to the entrance, which consisted of two heavily, scarred wooden doors. The place wasn't without its appeal though; it had its own personnel wino/door man who at the moment was resting his body haphazardly over the front step. And if the gentleman and the "Lady" who just shouldered their way past them to walk into the hideously decrepit building were any indication of the type of clientele this establishment catered too, it was a sure bet that the interior wasn't much better.

"God what a snob!" Lucas teased.

"One would think that you were brought up in the life of luxury." He taunted, flashing Jagger a teasing look.

Of all the band members, Lucas was the only one without fear of incurring Jaggers' wrath. He was also the only one who really couldn't give a shit if Jagger fired him or not. He played for the music, not for Jagger. Jagger respected that, plus the fact that Lucas's teasing was always just that, he was never judgmental, or intrusive into Jagger's personal life.

"It is because I wasn't brought up in luxury that I can appreciate it now. I've slept in enough fucking shit holes to last me a life time thank you very much." Jagger said.

"We could always continue on in this rain and find more suitable lodgings." Booger suggested.

Jagger looked up to the now black skies. A street vendor bumped into him as he frantically hurried to flee the rain that was starting to come down in earnest now.

"Yeah well it's also been my experience that dry and warm in a gutter is preferable to wet and cold in a palace. Let's get a room." Jagger said then bounded up the stairs, careful to hop over the wino.

The three men entered the building just as the torrents of rain unleashed its furry on the city.

The inside confirmed Jaggers original assessment. The place was a dump. But Booger was right. They had seen worse. The three of them stood in the doorway, shaking the rain off their clothes, when a low-pitched, seductive whistle caught their attention.

To the left of them, sitting on what appeared to be a garishly upholstered couch, were two equally garishly dressed women. They were making lewd gestures with their bodies and directing these gestures at Jagger.

"Oh boy, here we go again." Booger whispered under his breath.

Where ever they went Jagger attracted women of all ages, and social backgrounds. And it wasn't just his celebrity status that attracted them, though that did add to his appeal considerably; it was his innate sexual nature. His classic Romanesque good looks and thick auburn hair alone were enough to make more than ones heart flutter, but it was his tall lean body and piercing hazel eyes, that emanated pure sensuality, that did them in. Wherever Jagger went, he left behind a trail of broken hearts.

Jagger gave the girls one of his sexy grins and slowly began to take off his coat, relishing in the exhibition. Lucas laughed at his conceit.

The woman where now shamelessly offering him their bodies as they approached him with their hips swaying.

"Their prostitutes Jagger." Booger informed him.

Jagger put an arm around each of his admires and sent Booger a scanting look.

"And I'm horny.'' He said dismissing Booger.

He turned his attention back to the "ladies" in question and allowed them to lead him over to the couch. Yes, he thought, this was just what he needed. To lose himself in some female flesh to wash away, even temporarily, thoughts of the red haired witch that's been tormenting his mind.

Booger turned to the innkeeper, who could have passed for the crypt keeper.

The old man looked up at them and flashed him a toothless grin.

"So you be wantin a room?" He asked in a hoarse gravely voice.

"What else." Booger snarled sarcastically. God what a shit hole he thought.

"Oh you'd be surprised," he replied as he opened up his dusty register book, "you'd be surprised."

"Just the room, three if you have them and no fleas if that's possible." Booger looked over his shoulder to see what Jagger was doing. He shook his head at the sight.

Jagger was engrossed in a groping contest with the two prostitutes. Jesus, Booger thought, he hoped he had some condoms on him.

The innkeeper had to clear his throat twice before Booger turned his attention back to him.

"Must be your lucky day. Got three rooms, all adjoining." He said as he handed the keys to him with a sickeningly lewd expression on his face.

Booger felt bile rise in his throat.

"You need to sign in." The crypt keeper said then gestured toward the stairs with his head.

"It's one flight up. How long ya be staying?" The old man asked.

"Just the night." Booger said as signed his name.

He turned to hand Lucas one of the keys when his cell phone rang.

"Yeah." Booger answered.

"Yo, Boog, where the hell are you guys?" Charlie, their sound guy asked.

"We're stuck in Yorkshire. Car broke down." Booger answered.

"Want me to send a car to come and get you?" Charlie asked.

Booger looked over at Jagger. He knew Jagger wouldn't want to leave now. He'd seen him like this before; right before he went into rehab he got in serious self-destructive mode. Prowling the streets looking for the dankest, darkest drinking establishments, snorting more cocaine than Al Pacino did in Scarface and fucking every piece of trash he could find. From the looks of his current company, it appeared he was slipping into at least one of those bad habits.

He didn't dare tell Charlie his thoughts. Charlie would call Brian and that would bring all sorts of wrath down on Boogers head. Experience had taught him to mind his own fucking business when it came to Jaggers' behavior.

"No, the mechanic said the car would be ready in the morning, besides, the roads are washed out. We'll be ok. We're in a hotel in South Yorkshire." Booger looked up over the crypt keepers' head to the sign displaying the hotel's name.

"The Nellie Denies. If for some reason our cells die, or you don't hear from us by tomorrow, send a search party." Booger partially joked. They were NOT in Kansas. This was more like Hell's kitchen.

"Ok, gottcha. See you tomorrow then." Charlie said then hung up.

Booger shut his cell and turned to Jagger.

"I got us some rooms. How long do you think your gonna be?" He asked not wanting to leave Jagger alone with the girls.

Jagger pulled away from the girls long enough to answer.

"I'll be up soon, these girls got to get back to work and don't worry I have condoms." He said impishly.

Booger shook his head and looked down at the keys in his hand.

It was going to be one hell of a long night he thought.

 

*********************************************

 

Corrine walked into the lobby of the Hilton Waldorf and straight up to the concierge's desk without pause. She was a woman on a mission, and having made the decision to drop everything and fly to London, she wasn't about to let the sudden case of nerves she developed on the way in deter her.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Corrine Vioget. I'd like a room." She said.

The man behind the counter looked up at her with a haughty expression.

"Do you have a reservation?" He asked in a clipped voice.

"No, I don't, but I'm with Jagger Taylor Kinney. You can ring him up and tell him I'm here." She all but commanded.

The concierge was startled by her brashness. The Hilton Waldorf was sanctuary to many celebrities in London. It was his job to make sure their privacy was protected. Though she didn't look like your average typical ‘groupie', he wasn't about to take any chances. He was about to disperse of her when a man interrupted their conversation.

"Excuse me but I couldn't help but over hear you. I'm Charlie Rengal. The bands sound manager. Jagger isn't here, but I'll be happy to take your bags up to his suite." Charlie said.

Charlie was walking through the hotel lobby on his way up to his room when he heard the woman's request. He spun around stared at her. He recognized the name. He overheard Jagger speaking very passionately about a ‘Corrine Vioget' over the phone the other night to his sister. Not that he was ease dropping, he just happened to walk in on the conversation in the studio. Everyone else had gone, except for Jagger, he always stayed later listening to the tracks when no one was around to give their opinions. Charlie had returned to the studio to pick up some sheets. Jagger didn't notice him right away because he was engrossed in what sounded like a lovers rant. Of course once he did notice Charlie, he immediately ended the conversation.

Jagger was very private about his personal life. Everyone in the band knew something was driving Jagger, and not in a good way, he suspected it was a woman, and after over hearing that phone call, he was positive of it. Now, the woman was there, at his hotel, looking for him. Perfect, he thought. She was just what the doctor ordered. Charlie had a feeling Jagger would be very pleased to see her.

Corrine turned to look at the man who made the offer. The first thing she noticed was how young he was.

‘Christ, is everyone in his band teeny boppers?' she thought dejectedly.

 

Pushing those thoughts away, she squared her shoulders and addressed the young man.

"That's very kind of you Mr. Rengal. I'm Doctor Corrine Vioget, a friend of Mr. Taylor-Kinney. His father told me he was here." She said.

"Well he is staying here, but he and the boys went for a ride and their car broke down. They're staying the night in Yorkshire." Charlie explained.

Corrine frowned. She did not travel all this way to wait another day.

"The boys?" She asked.

"Lucas and Booger, they're part of the band." Charlie said.

"I see. Well you wouldn't happen to know where in Yorkshire they're staying?" She asked.

Charlie gave her a wide smile.

"Sure, and I'll be happy to take you there if you like." He offered.

Something told him his boss was going to be real pleased with him for bringing this hot red head to him.

Corrine sighed in relief and accepted his offer. They left orders for the bellhop to bring her bags up to Jaggers suite then left. Ten minutes later they were comfortably seated in a black sedan, on their way to see Jagger. Corrine leaned her head back against the soft leather seat of the car and closed her eyes. She took a few deep breaths to steady her nerves. She was terrified. Never had she done something so reckless, so out of character. But Brian was right, this was her one shot at love; real love the kind risking it all for. She had no idea how she was going to fit into his world, but she knew she had to try. Whatever the outcome, at the very least, she would never ask herself down the road, ‘what if?"

"So, you his girlfriend?" Charlie boldly asked out of the blue from his seat next to her.

Corrine laughed at his audacity. Youth. She wondered if she was that confident at that age. No matter, she was now.

"Yes. I just haven't told him yet." She answered.

Charlie laughed heartily at her response.

"Well here's your chance. This is the place." Charlie said as he pulled up to the old building.

The rain had intensified on the ride over and Corrine and Charlie literally jumped out of the car and ran into the building as fast as they could to avoid getting drenched. Once inside, they paused to look around. Charlie was the first to respond.

"Jesus fucking Christ what is Jag thinking!?" He asked no one in particular.

Corrine wondered the same thing. The place was horrid! Surely he could have found better accommodations. The ride there wasn't that far from his hotel, about 20 minutes tops. He could have called a cab to bring him back.

Corrine suppressed the feeling of dread that crept into her stomach and approached the man behind the hotel desk whose nose was buried in some rag paper.

"Excuse me Sir, but I'm looking for someone that's staying here, perhaps you can help me?" She asked.

The old man lowered his paper and gave her a toothless grin. "He's not here." The old man answered.

Charlie cursed and came up behind Corrine. He placed a hundred dollar bill on the counter.

"Well maybe my American friend Mr. Franklin here, can help you locate him." Charlie said.

Corrine looked over at him impressed.

The old man took the bill and pocketed it. Then went back to reading the tabloid.

"Your friend needs a partner in his search." The old man said.

Charlie made a face and pulled out a fifty this time from his wallet.

"Here, Mr. Grant can help him." Charlie said placing the bill on the desk.

The old man snaked his hand out from under the paper and grabbed the bill. He then pushed the ledger over to them and resumed his reading.

Corrine opened the book and scanned the names. A frown marred her brow.

"I don't see his name here Charlie." She said.

"Here, let me look." Charlie said taking the book from her.

"That's them!" He said pointing to a name Corrine didn't recognize.

"Ben Jachym RM132, Luc RM133, JTK, RM134. That's Booger, Lucas and Jag." He informed Corrine.

Corrine's heart quickened. So close.

She raised her head to ask the innkeeper where the elevator was and was greeted by an out stretched arm pointing to the stairs.

She closed the book and headed for the stairs. Charlie followed behind her.

Obviously there was no elevator, not one they could see anyway, though Corrine wouldn't have trust riding in it even if there was one. The stairs were rickety enough.

The stairwell smelled of urine and smoke. The steps were dirty and sticky.

"Ok, this is fucked, even by Jagger's standards." Charlie remarked.

Corrine didn't have to ask Charlie what he meant by that. She and Jagger had enough talks about their pasts to know that he lived in a lot of hellholes for a good part of his life. She assumed this was just a glimpse of what one of those ‘holes' must have looked like.

When they got to the landing, Corrine swung the door open and entered the long hallway. She looked to her left, then her right. Rooms 130-139 were to her right. She headed down the corridor in that direction. Charlie was right on her heels.

She reached the first door, 134, and stopped. She raised her hand to knock then hesitated.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked.

Corrine shook her head and sighed. "Nothing." She answered then rapped twice on the door.

No answer.

She twisted the knob and found it open. She silently cursed and vowed to ream Jagger out for doing something so stupid as leaving the door unlocked in a place like this.

Slowly she pushed the door open and peeked inside. The sight that greeted her made her stumble back. If it weren't for Charlie, she would have fell flat on her ass.

 

Jagger brought the two girls up to his room after allowing one of them to blow him in the hotel lobby. It wasn't modesty that prompted him to take their party private, it was the lobby couch. It was uncomfortable as hell, though the bug infested bed he was lying in wasn't much better. He kept his clothes on, not risking getting bed bug bites all over his body, with just his pants pulled down slightly to expose his cock, which was currently being worshiped by the two girls whose names he never bothered to get.

As far as the sex went, he was surprised it wasn't half bad considering how stoned the girls were. He could smell the booze, and see the drug glazed look in their eyes when they bothered to glance up at him. It called to him in ways the sex couldn't even touch and he was tempted to ask them to score some for him when he heard the door creak open. He pushed the girls off of him when he saw a flash of red in the open door. He blinked twice, and tried to focus in the dark room. The girls went back to sucking his cock.

 

"Whoa, what the fuck!" Charlie said as he caught Corrine who stumbled back into his arms..

Corrine gasped, shocked at the sight she witnessed.

‘I'm gonna fucking kill him!' Her mind screamed.

She straightened herself up and brushed her hair back with her hands.

"Charlie, rouse the boys. We're leaving. I'm bringing Jagger back to the hotel." She said with steel in her voice.

Charlie jumped at her command. "Yes Mame!" He said tongue in cheek and went to do her bidding.

Corrine braced herself for the confrontation and pushed the door open. With squared shoulders, she barged into the room.

Jagger's eyes widened in shock at the sight of her.

"Corrine?" He asked stunned, heedless of the fact he was lying half naked on the bed with two girls currently sucking his cock.

"What? Where you expecting a third?" she asked bitterly.

Jagger collected himself quickly and assessed the situation. Shit he was in trouble!

He pushed the girls off of him and pulled his pants up.

"Corrine, what the fuck are you doing here?" He asked as he jumped out of the bed.

"Well I would ask you the same question, but I think I got a clue." She said and folded her arms across her chest.

Jagger laughed.

Corrine scowled.

"You find this funny?" She asked seriously.

"I find it fucking amazing! Corrine! You're here!" He said with a broad smile.

There was no denying the excitement and joy in his eyes.

Corrine's jaw dropped open. She couldn't believe how buoyant Jagger was at being caught with his pants, literally, down.

"It's fucking insane is what it is! I must be out of my mind thinking...."

Her words were cut off as Jagger pulled her in for a kiss.

Corrine braced her hands against his chest and pushed feebly. But the minute his mouth covered hers, she was lost. Her resolve faulted and she opened up to him, kissing him back.

The kiss didn't last long however as they were interrupted by the two girls in the room.

"Heyyyyyy!!! Who the fuck is she? It's our turf babe, beat it! Go peddle your ass somewhere else." One of the girls said.

Corrine pulled away from Jagger indignant at the girls' assumption. She gave Jagger a searing glare.

"Prostitutes Jagger?" She said in a very reproachful voice.

Jagger squished his face up a bit as if he if just felt a sharp pain in his tooth.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out two hundred dollar bills.

"Sorry girls, party's over." He said handing them the money.

The girls eagerly took it and left the room, with out so much as a fare de well.

Jagger turned to Corrine and pulled her in for a hug.

"You stink, you're not touching me until you take a shower. And get a penicillin shot." She said angrily.

Jagger laughed. He held Corrine at arms length and smiled at her.

"I can't believe you're here!" He said again.

Corrine huffed and looked away.

"That makes two of us." She scoffed.

Jagger sobered a bit.

"I can't believe you did it Red. You risked it all, for me..."

The awe and humility in his voice touched Corrine's heart.

"No, I risked it all for me." She said.

"Same thing Red." Jagger said cockily.

Corrine pushed him away.

She loved Jagger, with all of her heart, and loving Jagger was not going to be easy.   
He was young, impulsive and had more baggage than any nineteen year old should have. She knew him well enough to recognize that the little sex party he was having was indicative of his dark side resurfacing. Jagger was close to relapsing, and Corrine couldn't help but feel a little guilty over having pushed him away. He needed her, and better or worse, she was going to be there for him. The winds of fate have brought them together, and she was determined to weather any storm that should come their way.

"Don't be so arrogant. I should call your Dad. Don't think I don't know that this was all about." Corrine said sweeping her hand across the room.

Jagger raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, and what do you think this was all about?" He asked.

"About you getting dangerously close to relapsing." She said.

Jagger was surprised at how well she read him, though he shouldn't have been. From the first time he laid eyes on her, there was instant connection, and recognition of each other on a subconscious level.

He gnawed on his bottom lip and held her gaze.

"Yeah, I was tempted. But then again, I'm tempted a lot. I won't lie, I was escaping, but I figured better this, then the drugs or booze. " He said honestly.

Corrine nodded her head, appreciating his candor. But as a physician, she disagreed with his view on which was a ‘better' vice. It was all bad. Most men didn't acknowledge that sex, like drugs and alcohol, could turn into an addiction when abused. Now, however, wasn't the time to have that discussion.

"Well then it's a good thing I arrived when I did. Charlie is getting the boys. I'm taking you back to the hotel." Corrine said.

"Jesus Red, why don't you just throw me over your lap and spank me while you're at it!" Jagger retorted.

Corrine smiled seductively at him. "I would, except you'd enjoy it too much." She said.

Charlie appeared at the door at that moment with Lucas and Booger in tow.

"Got the boys all round up Mame!" Charlie teased as he graced her with a salute.

Jagger threw Charlie a confused look. Mame?

Corrine laughed.

"Are we taking her back to the hotel with us?" Booger asked, curious as to who the hot red head was.

Corrine answered for Jagger. "No, I'm taking him back." She said.

"And who are you?" Lucas asked.

Corrine looked over at Jagger who shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head to her, indicating it was her call. He was curious as hell how she would answer.

Corrine looked back to the curious faces of the guys standing just outside the door.

"His old lady." She said sighing.

Jagger laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and lifted her from the ground. Corrine let out a small startled cry.

"Now is that anyway to talk about my girlfriend?" He teased nipping at her ear.

Three very stunned faces stared at them as they playfully made their way out of the hotel.

Booger held Charlie back, letting the others get far enough ahead so that they were out of earshot.

"Is this for real? Jagger doesn't do girlfriends." Booger whispered.

Charlie laughed. "He does now." He answered then turned to follow the others.

Booger lagged behind and brooded. He silently worried at this new development. He didn't like it. The last thing the band needed was a Yoko Ono in their midst.

 

*************************************************************

 

The hot stinging spray of water hit Justin's back making him hiss in pain at the burn. Brian stepped into the shower behind him and adjusted the temperature.

"Didn't I do enough damage to your body last night?" He asked in a seductive voice as he picked up the bar of soap and started lathering Justin's back and shoulders.

Justin braced his hands against the shower wall and arched his back giving Brian better access..

"Hmmm...that feels good." He said.

"My muscles are sore, I thought a hot shower would loosen me up." He said.

"Again, my job." Brian quipped and nipped gently at Justin's neck.

"How's the leg?" He asked as he kneaded Justin's muscles.

"Fine. I'm glad this cast is water proof." He answered.

"Yeah well I noticed you're walking on it without your crutch. You shouldn't be doing that." Brian said.

Justin let out a little laugh. "There are a lot of things I shouldn't be doing. Half of which I did last night." Justin returned saucily.

Brian answered him by pressing his hard cock up in between Justin's ass cheeks.

"Well you know how much I hate leaving things half done." Brian croaked gruffly.

Justin pushed himself away from the wall and leaned back against Brian. The water wasn't as hot now and Justin purred contently at the warm rivulets gliding down his torso. He raised his arm over his head and hooked it around that back of Brian's neck. Brian leaned his head forward and dipped his tongue into the crook of Justin's neck, lapping at the steamy water streaming down his skin.

Justin's breath quickened at the sensation.

"Bri, no. We can't. There are no condoms in here." He said.

Brian murmured something unintelligible as his hand found its way to Justin's cock

"I'm just playing." He said moving his slick, soapy hand up and down Justin's shaft.

Justin moaned deeply.

"You like that?" Brian asked.

"Oh, yes..." Justin answered in a lust-laden voice.

He tightened his hold around Brian's neck to anchor himself as he began to fuck Brian's fisted hand furiously. His knees got weak, threatening to give out from under him.

"That's it Sunshine, show me how good it feels." Brian rasped into Justin's ear. He circled Justin's waist with his free arm and pulled him tight against him.

Justin's head lolled back, his eyes closed and tiny erotic noises escaped his lips. He was beyond coherent thought as his body desperately searched for release.

"Come for me." Brian commanded.

It was all the encouragement Justin needed. His hips bucked, his body contracted and his breath quickened as waves of burning pleasure coursed through him. His knees did give out and Brian had to hold him up as he spilled his seed onto the shower floor.

Justin collapsed back against his lover's body, spent and exhausted.

Brian chuckled deep in his throat. "Ok, now I really need to fuck you. But not before I clean you up." He said then kissed the side of Justin's neck.

Justin fought to get his breathing under control again. He hated that they had to use condoms because he fucked up, but he couldn't think of that now. Not with Brian's hands roaming his body, soaping him up.

Brian grabbed the expensive French shampoo from the shower shelf and massaged it into Justin's scalp. This was Justin's favorite part of showering with Brian, well other then the sex of course. He loved it when Brian washed his hair.

Brian took his time lathering Justin's hair. He loved the small pleasure sounds Justin made when Brian would run his hands through his locks. His fingers passed over the scar, a reminder of how close he came to losing him, and he shuddered.

Justin turned around to gaze up at his lover sensing something was wrong. He took one look into his eyes and knew what he was thinking.

 _'I'm still here..I'll always be here..'_ he whispered placing his hand over Brian's heart.

Brian smiled at him and turned him back around. He guided him under the warm spray and rinsed his hair.

They finished washing up and shut the water off. Brian grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist then he grabbed another and started drying Justin off.

"You know I'm loving all this attention, but it's really not necessary. I'm a big boy daddy, I can dry myself." He said half teasing.

Brian ignored him and continued to vigorously dry all of Justin's body until he was completely dry, and glowing.

"Twat. Always looking to take my pleasure away." He teased once he was done.

Justin turned to get dressed and Brian playfully slapped his ass with the towel.

"Hey!" Justin protested turning around to glower at Brian.

Brian laughed. "I thought you were a big boy?" He taunted.

"Hmmm....well you thought I was pretty big last night. Speaking of.. you sore?" Justin asked impishly.

Brian scowled. "Brat." He snapped then turned to put his pants on.

Justin laughed. He topped Brian twice last night. Though Brian loved to be topped on occasion, he didn't do it often, and it had been awhile. He knew he had to be a little sore this morning, though Brian would rather die than let on to Justin that he couldn't bottom with the best of them. Brian was too much of a sexual being not to master all angles of the fine art of fucking. And he had mastered them all.

Brian gave the best blowjobs, fucked like a God and bottomed better than anyone Justin ever fucked. Including that freak he fucked when he won he King of Babylon contest. That guy wanted it hard, and long all night long. Still, he couldn't hold a candle to the way Brian bottomed. Brian controlled the fuck, giving as much pleasure to his partner as he received whether he was on top, or bottom. He was the Master.

Justin turned back around to finish dressing. He no sooner pulled his shirt over his head when he felt his body being lifted off the floor, spun around and unceremoniously dropped onto the bed.

He shrieked in surprise.

Brian positioned his body over Justin's, pinning him beneath him. His thighs were pressed tightly against Justin's, and his hands pressed into the mattress on either side of his head.

"We have another several hours before the kids get here." Brian said throatily.

Justin laughed. "Haven't you had enough?" He asked already knowing the answer.

"Never enough."

Brian leaned over and licked the side of Justin's mouth, dipping his tongue into the corners, one side then the other, teasing, and taunting him with the promise of a kiss.

Justin moaned deeply and lifted his hips to press against Brian's hardness.

"You are a bad boy Sunshine. You left the bed without giving me my morning fuck." Brian scolded huskily.

Justin moved his mouth, trying to capture Brian's in a kiss but Brian kept toying with him.

"Are you going to tease me all day, or fuck me?" Justin challenged, eager to feel Brian's cock inside him again.

Brian chuckled deeply and moved his hands down Justin's body to the waistband of his pants. He started unbuttoning them. Justin wiggled out of his jeans and reached for Brian's zipper. While he was extracting his lover from his clothes, Brian reached over the nightstand and opened the drawer.

"Fuck!" Brian rasped out.

Justin stilled his hands and looked up.

"What?" He asked.

Brian bit his bottom lip. "We're out of condoms." He said.

Justin's hands flew to his face. He cursed and bucked Brian off of him.

"There's no need to fucking queen out." Brian snapped.

"We really don't even need..."

Justin jumped from the bed on turned on him.

"YES WE DO!" He yelled near hysterically.

Ok, so much for not queening out. Brian sighed and tried to reason with him.

"Justin.." He began only to be cut off again.

"Don't say it Brian. Just don't! You know full damn well we need to use the condoms until our test results get back." Justin said. He started pacing in front of the bed.

Brian pushed himself up on his elbows and stared at his lover from the bed. He saw the frustration in his eyes, heard the anguish, or more accurately, the guilt, in his voice.

 

"Can we cut the bullshit already? We fucked raw twice before we found out what she did. If there were any danger of me contracting something, which I doubt VERY highly, I would have already. Giles even said there was very little chance of Adeline having any STD's. You know as well as I do that, that crazy bitch never even left her cabin unless it was to get supplies, she's that people phobic." Brian tried to reason.

Justin laughed bitterly. "Not so people phobic that it stopped her from drugging me and then taking advantage!" He said angrily.

"Ah, so now we get to the real issue. But are you angry that she violated you, or that you were violated?" Brian asked knowing his blonde all too well.

Justin stopped pacing and looked at him with a stunned expression.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" He asked.

"I know you Justin, when something bad happens to you, you tend to rationalize that you somehow brought it upon yourself. You did it when Chris bashed you. At the time you felt responsible for him attacking you because you gave him a hand job and you taunted him on the streets. You did it again when I got shot. You blamed yourself for Hobbs obsession, which lead to Emmett getting kidnapped and me getting shot. Actually, I think you're very comfortable playing the martyr. So I'm asking, are you blaming yourself for Adeline's actions as well?" Brian asked with his normal candor approach.

Justin's eyes grew very dark blue, a clear indication that he was about to unleash his fury on Brian's assessment of the situation.

Brian braced himself.

"What a fucking shitty thing to say!" Justin fumed.

"Why would I blame myself for what happened!? I was injured, no memory and drugged! You think I feel guilty for what that psychopath did to me?" Justin asked, his ire rising.

"You tell me. Do you? Brian asked

Justin sputtered and cursed and continued pacing.

Brian sighed. "Well? Answer me. Do you?" He asked.

Justin stopped and threw Brian and menacing glance.

"Fuck you." He said.

"I've been trying to! But you insist on the fucking condoms when it's a moot point anyway. I'll remind you again, we fucked twice raw after the fact! So why are you insisting using protection now? Are you trying to atone for something? Answer me!" Brian's voice was stern.

"All right! You want to hear it? YES! I do feel guilty! Happy now? Jesus Brian I put you in danger!" Justin asked close to tears.

Brian sat up and reached out to grab Justin's wrist.

"Guilt, like sorry, is bullshit. Especially unearned guilt. Do you know what guilt is? Guilt is anger directed inward. At what we did or didn't do. What you should be feeling is resentment. Resentment is anger directed at others. What's this crap "I" put you in danger? You didn't put me in danger, Adeline did. You're anger should be directed at her, and no one else. Especially not yourself." Brian said earnestly.

Justin held Brian's gaze.

"It's not your fault." Brian said.

"I know." Justin answered in a deadpan voice.

Brian stood up and approached him.

"It's not your fault." He said again cupping Justin's cheek.

Justin looked up at him with glazed eyes.

"Yeah, I know." He said, his voice a little horse.

"No, you don't know. Listen to me, are you listening to me?" Brian urged anxiously.

He needed to get through to Justin. He knew first hand how easy it was to sink into self-loathing and guilt over something bad that happened to you that was totally out of your control. He wasn't going to allow Justin to go there.

"I'm listening." Justin said quietly.

"Its.....Not....Your....Fault. And if you believe for one more minute it is, then you have to believe it's my fault as well." Brian said.

Justin's eyes widened at that.

"Noo...Don't say that! Don't ever say that! How could it possibly be your fault?" Justin stammered nervously.

"The same way you rationalize it's your fault. I wasn't there. I didn't find you quick enough; I put work first when I should have flown out here with you. I could go on. The point is, there are a million reasons we can give to put blame on ourselves. So let's not, ok? Bad shit happens Justin, and sometimes my impetuous stubborn blonde, it's conceivable that these bad things happen as the result of someone else's actions, and not our own. And in our case, because we're cursed." Brian said.

Justin let out a small laugh mixed with a sob.

Brian raised his brow.

"Ok, it's not my fault. But blaming it on the curse is stretching it a bit, don't you think?" Justin asked.

"No." Brian said with a definiteness that shook Justin.

"I know we're cursed Brian, I wasn't mocking you, or the situation. Andy wouldn't be here if there wasn't truth to it. I'm just saying not all things can be blamed on the curse. Bad things happen to people who aren't cursed as well you know." Justin said.

Brian sighed and bent over to kiss Justin lightly on the lips.

"You're right Sunshine, bad things happen to everyone, but in our case, there's a reason. And I won't rest until we find out what that reason is, and how to fix it." Brian said.

"James is flying in with the kids. Hopefully he'll have more information for us to work with." Justin said.

"I can't wait until the kids get here, I miss them so much." Justin added.

"Speaking of our children, we have a decision to make." Brian said turning the subject around to something he knew would be equally unpleasant as talks of guilt and curses.

"Yeah, I know. Giles is going to court this afternoon to try to get medical custodianship of Adeline. I should be there." Justin said.

"But?" Brian urged.

"What if he doesn't get it? What do I do then?" Justin asked.

"We can always file charges against her." Brian said.

"She'll go to jail." Justin said.

"Very possible, if we're lucky." Brian answered a bit tartly.

"I don't want the baby born in a prison cell." Justin said in a low voice.

Brian noticed how Justin used the term ‘the' baby, and not ‘my' baby.

"Justin, do you want the baby? And before you answer, think. I don't want to hear any bullshit answer based on what you think is the right answer; I'm asking what's in your heart. Really." Brian asked.

Justin's eyes started to tear. He couldn't lie to Brian.

"God forgive me but no." He said in a broken voice, his eyes searching Brian's for comfort.

Brian pulled him in and hugged him.

"Shhh...What did I tell you about guilt? Not wanting the baby is a very normal reaction under the circumstances. Think of what having this baby would do. First, we'd have to fight for custody based on the fact she's insane. Then, assuming we get custody, there is no guarantee that Adeline won't show up asking for her rights back one day when the doctors declare her sane again. Then what? We have the twins to think about. Do you want that woman in our lives? And if not, are you willing to deny the child from knowing its mother? We need to think this through before we make any decisions." Brian said.

Justin moaned in sorrow against Brian's chest and it broke Brian's heart.

"It's really not our decision though. We can't force Adeline to abort the baby." Justin said in a dejected tone.

Brian paused for a moment before answering. He knew his next words were going to sound callous, and harsh, but he needed to put the option on the table.

"We can bargain with her. There are strict laws here about drugging someone. Giles warned her about having that little amature pharmaceutical set up. She could get serious time for practicing medicine without a license..... If we press charges." Brian said.

Justin pulled away from him and looked up with horrified eyes.

"Are you saying we should blackmail her?" He asked.

"I'm saying it's an option. If she agrees to abort the child, we won't press charges." Brian said.

Justin looked away from Brian and walked over to the window in their bedroom. He pulled the curtains back to let in the late morning sun. He stood there staring out over the estate.

Brian watched his boys back as he blindly gazed out at the gardens with remorseful eyes. He wished this were his decision to make alone. He'd have no problem blackmailing Adeline into aborting the child, and feel no guilt doing it. But Justin wasn't as jaded as Brian was.

Whether or not Justin was ready to admit it to himself, he was already connected to the unborn child. He had a very difficult decision to make. Have the baby and possibly risk the safety of their twins, or have the baby aborted, and bear the burden of having forfeited the life of his own child. How cruel was life to put a man in such a position? Brian felt such rage at that moment at all the powers that be that put his love in this position.

He cursed all that was holy and unholy, but most of all, he cursed the damned curse that we was sure was responsible for the impossible situation they were in.

And after he damned it all, he vowed. He vowed on all that was holy and unholy that whatever it took, he was going to end the cycle of violence that has plagued his and Justin's life. There was nothing that was going to deter him from breaking the curse so that his family could finally, live in peace.

 

 _"...He's made the vow...."_ Gabriel said

 _"....Let's just hope he now makes the right choice..."_ Michael answered.

 

The winds of fate have swept over their lives once again.

Brian Kinney never made a promise he didn't intend to keep. And he had no intentions of not keeping this vow.

A vow, which might cost him the very family he was trying to protect.


	21. An Eye for An Eye

**"My one great talent lies in making  
those who wrong me suffer horribly."**

 **~ Archilochus**

 

 _ **"Daddyyyyy!!!!"**_ The boisterous synchronized voices echoed across the landing field.

With tiny arms flaring, Maria and Andy departed the plane and ran towards their father's who were waiting for them at the end of the landing pad. Brian saw the attack coming and positioned himself behind Justin, knowing the children would run to him first, and braced him for the impact.

"Ooomphh!' Justin grunted as the children jumped up into his arms.

He fell back against Brian's chest, clutching his babies in his arms. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and the children from behind.

"Oh Daddy, we missed you soooo much!" They each shrieked as they smothered Justin's face with small kisses.

Justin choked up with emotion. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, tears of joy escaped and streamed down his cheeks.

"I know, I'm so sorry I was sick. I would have sent for you two sooner. Your Dad and I missed you terribly!" Justin said hugging them tight.

"Are you ok Daddy? Is your head all better?" Maria asked. Her curious hands roamed through his golden locks.

"I'm just fine honey. More than fine now that you're here." Justin said in a choked voice.

"Where's your bump Daddy! I can't find your bump!" Maria said sounding disappointed.

Brian laughed. They seemed to have forgotten him for the moment in their excitement and concern over their Daddy.

"Stop it Ria! You're gonna make Daddy's memme go away again!" Andy said.

Maria abruptly stopped her explorations.

"My memory is fine Andy. Stop scaring your sister." Justin said pulling them both in for another bone crushing hug.

"And how about poor neglected Dad here? Did you two monkey's forget me???" Brian said with an exaggerated whine.

Both kids giggled then literally climbed over Justin's shoulders to get to their Dad.

Brian lifted them off of Justin's shoulders and wrapped them in his arms.

"We missed you too Dad. But we talked to you every night. We haven't talked to Daddy in years!" Maria said.

Brian sighed. "And they call me a drama queen. It hasn't been years Maria, it's been weeks." He said.

Maria stuck her tongue out and him then giggled and hugged his neck.

Brian kissed his kids soundly then put them down.

"The car is waiting to take us to the Chateau." Brian said ruffling his children's hair.

Justin bent to pick them up again. He had missed them so much; he just wanted to go on hugging them forever.

"Easy, you've already put too much pressure on that leg." Brian warned.

Justin huffed, dismissing him and picked his children up anyway.

Brian sighed in frustration.

"Is your leg hurt too Daddy?" Maria asked.

"I broke it, but I have a cast on under these jeans, so don't worry. It's mending fine." He told them.

Each child immediately wriggled out of their Daddy's arms and back to the ground.

"No picking us up Daddy!" Andy scolded his father.

"When Johnny broke his leg the doctor said he couldn't pick us up until it was all better!" Maria reminded him.

"Christ they're barely seven and are already haranguing like pros. I wonder where they learned that from?" Brian asked raising his eyebrow at Justin.

"From the both of you. You're both nags when it comes to each other and me!" Fran's nasal voice interrupted their reunion.

"Fran!" Justin went to her and hugged her.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you!" He said when he released her.

"Where's Johnny and Joan?" He asked.

"Johnny is helping James with the bags, and Joan is still sleeping on the plane. James had to give her a sedative. You know she doesn't like flying. Stubborn mule refused to take it though until we hit turbulence. Then she took it alright, only problem is, now she's zonked." She said.

James walked up behind Fran pushing a baggage cart that was overflowing with luggage; Johnny was carrying several bags behind him.

"Jesus Fran, did you have to bring ‘all' your makeup?" Brian teased.

"Ha ha!" Fran spat out at him.

"Actually, this is only the first load. There is another one." James said.

Johnny dropped the bags upon seeing Brian and ran to him.

Brian opened his arms to receive him. Though Johnny loved both his Dad's, he was always closer to Brian. There was a special connection between them that his sister couldn't break, no matter how hard she tried. He was sad that his sister died such an untimely death, but happy that he and Justin were able to adopt her children.

"Fuck Johnny! How tall are you now?" Brian said.

Johnny's head was almost level with Brian's and Brian was no slouch.

"Just over 6 feet. And Doc said I ain't done growing yet!" Johnny said with obvious pride in his voice.

"Ah, I can smell the scholarships." Brian remarked.

Johnny was a very talented basketball player, his height was an asset. Scouts already had him in their radar.

"The scholarships will get him into college, but his grades will keep him there." Justin interrupted, always the more practical parent.

"Geesh give a kid a break! My grades last year weren't that bad." Johnny said.

"Uh huh, they weren't that good either as I remember. Now where's my hug?" Justin said smiling to lessen his reproach.

Johnny pulled away from Brian and went to Justin. He embraced him in a big bear hug.

"I'm glad you got your memory back, though I wouldn't mind you forgetting my grades from last year." He said with a hint of humor in his voice.

Justin laughed and reached up to ruffle his hair.

"Oh I don't think remembering last year's report card is as bad as some of the other things I remember ...." Justin let the implication hang in the air.

Johnny blushed. There were a few things he did that could have gotten him in a lot of trouble with Brian that Justin knew about, but dealt with himself, without involving Brian.

What he didn't know was that Justin always told Brian everything.

"Um, well I..." Johnny stammered.

Brian smiled at his son's predicament.

"Something wrong Johnny?" He asked impishly.

"No no....nothing's wrong." Johnny said then turned to retrieve the bags

"Where would you like me to put the bags?" He asked in an attempt to change the subject.

Brian and Justin smiled at each other.

"That depends on how many more bags there are. We might need another car." Brian said turning his attention to James.

James looked at Brian with tired, troubled eyes. Brian frowned sensing something was wrong.

"It's getting late, we need to get back to the house. Johnny leave the bags there, James will take care of the luggage, Justin, get the kids in the car I'll go get Joan." Brian barked out the orders in rapid succession.

"Let me get Joan, ok?" James said.

There was something ominous about the request that made the hair on the back of Brian's neck prickle.

"Is Joan alright?" Justin asked picking up the vibe as well.

"She's fine, nothing to worry about. I just think it's best if I woke her and took her to the Chateau. Give her time to get her bearings." James said.

It was an odd request, with a reason behind it. One Brian and Justin would just have to wait till they were all settle back at the house before they found out.

"Fine. I'll call for another car." Brian said.

He gathered Justin, the children and Fran and put them in their car, leaving James alone to deal with the luggage and his mother.

The drive to the Chateau wasn't a long one but to Brian it felt like an eternity. He had a feeling James troubled look stemmed from whatever information he gleaned on his trip.

Information he instinctively knew he was not going to like.

 

 

*******************************************************

 

"You're wearing a path in Viv's imported oriental rug. She's not going to like it." Justin mused.

"I'll buy her a new fucking rug." Brian snarled as he continued his pacing.

It was just around midnight, and they were waiting in Viv's library for James. They hadn't had a minute of privacy to talk to him about the information he had for them.

Getting the kids settled was more time consuming then they anticipated. Instead of being tired from the long flight, the twins were wound up. Emmett had made a late night dinner for them, which included strawberry short cake for dessert. He knew he should have objected when Justin gave in to the twins' requests for seconds on dessert. It took them nearly an hour to come down from that sugar high.

"Did you talk to Lizzy tonight?" Brian stopped pacing long enough to voice the question, remembering the sad look she had on her face tonight at the dinner.

"No, but we both know what's troubling her." Justin said.

He was standing in front of one the large bookcases that lined the walls, idly pulling books out and flipping through the pages, not really paying attention.

"Andy." Brian answered with a sigh.

"No Jason. She see's Jason, and though Andy is trying his best to be Jason, he's not. Our daughter knows something's wrong." Justin said as he perused the books on the shelves.

Brian resumed his pacing.

"Well Andy just needs to stay away from her until this whole mess is cleared up." Brian said.

"Hmm...that's easier said then done. She's in love with him." Justin said.

"She's in love with Jason." Brian corrected.

"You explain that to her." Justin quipped.

Brian threw him a menacing look.

Justin put the book he was looking at back in it's slot and turned to Brian.

"I talked to Andy. He's bunking with Peter and Johnny tonight. He's doing his best to keep his distance, but it's hurting Lizzy. He feels awful, but there's really nothing he can do about it." Justin said.

Brian stopped pacing and flopped down in the big leather chair behind the reading the desk.

"Where the fuck is James?" He barked.

Justin went over to him and started rubbing his shoulders.

"He's coming, give him a little time alone with Emmett. He hasn't seen him in weeks." Justin said.

"Time is a luxury we can't afford. The sooner we find out what we're dealing with, the sooner we can get on with our lives, and Lizzy can have Jason back." Brian said sighing as he felt Justin work his magic on his tense muscles.

Justin continued to massage his shoulders in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"And the sooner Andy will leave....Again." He whispered the words, afraid of what Brian's reaction would be, but needing to put it out there.

Brian never brought up the fact that eventually Andy would have to leave Jason's body to return to his own world. He knew Brian was avoiding facing it. He lost his brother once, how cruel was fate to give him back to Brian, only to snatch him away again? And the most painful part was, they didn't know when it would happen. They couldn't even prepare for it, say their goodbyes. They each knew that when Andy's mission was done, whatever that mission was, he'd vanish. Justin worried how Brian would handle it.

Brian jerked away from Justin and pushed himself out of the chair.

"Fuck Justin, I can't think of that now! I've got a fucking curse hanging over our heads to deal with and a crazy woman who, thanks to Giles influence on the judge, is still sitting in a mental ward carrying your child!" Brian snapped.

Justin cringed at the last part of Brian's rant. He heard the accusation in Brian's voice. Giles had gone to court alone earlier that day because Justin refused to go and testify against Adeline. He wouldn't testify in her favor, but he couldn't testify against her either and Brian was pissed at him for it. He hated to think how angry he would have been if Giles hadn't convinced the Judge to grant him more time for further medical evaluation, and possible treatment, claiming she was a danger to herself, and to her unborn child.

"We're not having this argument again, are we?" Justin asked getting annoyed himself.

Brian turned to face him.

"No, we're not." He said.

He was about to elaborate when James entered the library.

Both Justin and Brian stood there, staring at him holding their breaths. This was it, the moment of truth. James held the information they were both waiting all this time for, yet now that they were about to receive it, they feared they weren't ready to hear it.

"Sorry I'm late." James said giving no explanation.

Brian noticed he had that same troubled look in his eyes he had all night. Apparently not even his partner could ease his distress. It wasn't a good sign.

Brian was the first to respond.

"I think we should be sitting for this." He said.

James took a seat in the oversized leather chair while Justin and Brian sat opposite him on the small couch. A long narrow table that sat on low legs separated them.

"Well?" Brian asked clasping his hands together in front of him as he leaned forward.

James took a deep fortifying breath.

"You're suspicions were right. There is a curse on your family." James said.

Justin's heart did a little flip in his chest.

"How?" Brian asked.

"The curse was cast by your great, great, great, great, grandfather, Alexander O'Hara, who coincidently practiced witchcraft. By all accounts, he was a very powerful warlock." James said.

Justin gasped. "No shit!" He said fascinated by that bit of information.

 

Brian's eyes grew wide at the name. Andy had a vision at the cabin that he was Alexander O'Hara in a past life. He knew there was a connection with his family, but his great, great, great, great, grandfather? And a warlock? Though that didn't really surprise him, Andy always had strong psychic powers. What did surprise him was that he would use that power for harm. It didn't seem possible that Andy would place a curse on him, or anyone! He had a good, kind, gentle soul and though Brian didn't profess to know much about ‘souls', he did know that the soul never changes, only the body it inhabits does. He couldn't believe Andy would do something so evil as curse a generation, several generations.

His mind was racing with all the implications, but he kept his thoughts to himself. He worried how Justin would react knowing his brother might be the cause of all their misery.

"Are you sure? I mean why would he curse his own family?" Brian asked.

James leaned forward, bringing himself closer to Brian.

"Because, he didn't know he was cursing his own family." He answered.

The confused looks on both Justin and Brian's faces prompted James to continue.

"Alexander's mother gave birth to twins, one Jonathon, the other Alexander. Jonathon was born normal, Alexander was born with the ‘veil', or what doctor's today call a caul. It's a thin layer of membrane that's attached over the infants face. Back then it was considered the mark of the devil. Any baby born with it was put the death. Alexander was spared this however by the midwife who delivered him. She knew the father. She took the baby away, claming she drowned it, as was the law, and instead she gave the child to the fathers family." James explained.

"Wait, I don't understand. Why did the midwife think the father's family would accept the child when the mother wouldn't?" Justin asked.

"Because the mother was married to someone else at the time of the twins birth. The pregnancy was the result of an affair she had. Her husband believed the babies were his but wanted the twin born with the mark of the devil destroyed." James responded.

Brian let out a bitter laugh.

"Seems fucking around is genetic." He said.

Justin threw him a scalding look.

"So Alexander O'Hara's father had an affair with a married woman." Justin clarified.

 

"Not just any woman, but the wife of a nobleman. Her name was Abigail. She and her lover, Alexander, were from different worlds. He, like his son and namesake were born with the mark. He was a warlock who practiced paganism. She came from nobility; they feared and despised his kind. Their affair was taboo on so many levels, but neither cared. Reportedly they were very much in love. She was going to leave her husband for him but when she became pregnant she decided to pass the twins off as her husbands' in order to protect them, and her lover. But nothing could protect her son from the mark of the devil. She mourned his lost deeply, as she mourned the loss of her lover. She thought she'd lose him when she told him the children were not his, and she was going to stay with her husband, but his love for her was too strong. He kept on seeing her, and it cost him his life. Her husband found out about their affair, and soon after, her lover was found dead. There was never an inquiry." James said.

Justin choked out a small sob. "Oh my God, how tragic." He said.

"It gets worse. Neither Abigail nor Alexander knew that their son still lived. You see the midwife knew the baby's grandmother. She took the baby to her, telling her that her son had fathered the child, and that he was born with the mark. She agreed to take the child in and raise it as one of their own, but made the midwife promise never to reveal the truth of his parentage. She never told her son she was raising his own child for fear that he would try to claim his other son who was being raised by another man and by doing so, it would mean his own death. In the end though, it didn't matter. He died not ever knowing about his sons." James said.

"But Alexander did find out who his parents were before he died, didn't he?" Brian asked, understanding dawning on him.

"Yes. The truth came out many years later, during the witch-hunts. I'm sure you know about that time in our history." James said.

Both men nodded.

"Many innocent people were accused of devil worshiping, including the midwife who saved the baby Alexander from his death. She was brought in on suspicion of practicing witchcraft with Jacqueline, Alexander's grandmother, who was an alleged witch. In an attempt to save her own ass, she told the courts all about Abigail's affair with Jacqueline's son, Alexander the warlock, and the consequent birth of her bastards in hopes they would turn their attention on her. Adultery, especially adultery with a warlock that resulted in the birth of bastards was a crime worse then what the midwife was being accused of. Abigail was shocked at the allegation. She was forced to deny the accusation in order to protect her son, Jonathon. If it were known that his real father was a warlock, they would kill him. So she told the courts that the midwife was lying. She accused Jacqueline, not knowing she was her sons' grandmother, and the midwife of attempting to cast a spell over the courts, causing them to turn their focus on good God-fearing people, and away from the truly wicked. Because she was of nobility, she was believed. Her testimony alone was enough convict Jacqueline and the midwife of witchcraft. They were sentenced to burn at the stake. Abigail knew she was condemning her own soul to hell by sending innocent women to their deaths, but it was a price she was willing to pay to save her son from that same fate. If it were known she consorted with a warlock, and gave birth do his sons, they would execute her one living son, Jonathon on suspicion that he too would become a warlock. She couldn't let that happened. She already lost one son to the superstitions of others." James said, disgust and censor over the whole situation heavy in his voice.

Brian and Justin sat in awe, enthralled by the tale James was unfolding.

"As a result of her testimony, Jacqueline, the midwife and several other innocent people were burned at the stake on the same day." James said.

"June sixth." Brian confirmed. The pieces were falling into place. It was all coming together in his head now.

James nodded.

"Yes, June sixth. It was also the day Alexander cursed Abigail for being responsible for his grandmothers' death, not knowing it was his own mother he was cursing. He cursed her and all her male descendants for seven generations. As the midwife burned, she confessed all her sins, including taking Abigail's son to his fathers' family, instead of drowning him as was the law. Through her confession, Alexander learned of his true parents, and what he had done, but it was too late. He went to his death knowing his cursed his own mother." James finished the tragic tale. He paused to give Brian and Justin time to digest all he revealed so far.

"Fuck." Brian breathed.

"What happened to Alexander?" Justin asked.

"The midwife's confession started a panic in the village. He was hunted down that very same day and burn at the stake." James answered.

Justin was speechless. It was all so horrid, and tragic. And they were all still paying the price of that awful time.

"So he really did curse himself." Brian said.

"Yes, and all his descendants." James answered.

"That includes you Brian, oh my God! And our sons!" Justin blurted out, fear clutching at his heart.

 

Brian knew this and it ripped through him like a knife. Because of him, his son's were cursed, including Johnny, Peter and Jagger, all of who carried the O'Hara bloodline.

"Unfortunately this is true. The curse was placed on Brian's descendants." James said then paused.

"And on Justin's." He added.

"Justin? Wait, why Justin?" Brian asked.

"Alexander cursed his own mother, and her sons. That included himself, and his twin. Jonathon Preston. Justin is the great, great, great, great grandson of Jonathon Preston. Abigail's other son." James said.

The room grew so silent you could hear a pin drop on the Oriental rug.

Brian and Justin turned to stare at each other. Each blown away by the revelation.

"Jesus Brian, we're related." Justin said in a shocked voice.

Brian gave him a small smirk.

"Don't worry Sunshine, I don't think it's considered incest." He said in an attempt to lighten the mood in the room.

He knew Justin would be reeling over this information. And he feared that once his mind started working properly again, he'd realize that it was his ancestor, Alexander, who cursed them. Jonathon was innocent in all of it. It was Alexander's doing.

Andy's doing.

Andy was the key, and the cause of the curse. But Brian couldn't tell Justin that, he couldn't, no wouldn't ever tell Justin that. He didn't know how he was going to tell Andy.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Hadn't Andy been through enough? How was he going to tell his brother that he was responsible for causing so many people pain over the years? He loved Andy, he knew without a doubt Andy had a kind soul, even as Alexander, Brian knew his soul would be the same as it is today. Kind and gentle. He knew in his heart that Alexander did what he did out of deep pain over having watched the one person, probably the only person who loved him, brutally murdered. He couldn't imagine what Alexander must have felt watching his grandmother burn. If it were him, he probably would have done the same. Cursed all responsible for the injustice. Had he known it was his mother he was cursing, he wouldn't have done it.

"Brian?" Justin put his hand on Brian's arm seeing the deep worry in his eyes.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

Brian sighed.

"I'm wondering how the fuck are we going to reverse this curse." Brian said.

"Well, there is someone who may have an answer for you." James said.

This was the part of the story he dreaded. But his mission was to bring back all the information he found out, and that included the awful truth of Joan's confession.

"Who?" Brian asked.

"Your mother. You see, most of the information was given to me by Justin's grandmother, and your mother Brian. They both knew the history of the curse, but neither knew about the other. Joan never knew what happened to the Preston side of the family, and Nana had very little information on what happened to the O'Hara's. All that was known was that Alexander O'Hara left behind several village girls with child when he died. It seems he had a reputation for being something of a casa nova." James said.

Justin snorted. "Well at least now we know where you get it from." Justin said casting Brian a sideway look.

"Shut up." Brian said.

"It also explains Joan's weird behavior. But I don't understand, if she knows how to reverse the curse, why hasn't she done it yet?" Brian asked.

"Because she can't. A male descendant of the O'Hara clan has to." James said.

"I don't understand." Justin said.

"I'll get Joan. She has to tell you this herself Brian, and she may not want to in front of Justin." James said.

"Why the fuck not!?" Brian snapped.

"It's her decision, not mine. I'm sorry Brian, but this is one area I will not touch. This is between you and your mother." James said.

"Brian, it's ok. What's important is that she tells you how to break the curse. If she wants to tell you in private, so be it. You can tell me later. Just talk to her." Justin said.

Brian didn't like it but conceded. Right now all that was important was finding out how to break this damned curse.

 

Several minutes later, Joan entered the room. She'd yet to speak to her son since her arrival, opting to stay in her room all night, not even coming down for dinner. Brian knew something was wrong, but didn't push it. James assured him she wasn't ill, and Brian had more pressing issues on his mind. Had he known Joan was privy to some very valuable information, he wouldn't have let her seclude herself away all evening.

Brian looked at his mothers' defeated posture and sighed. Would it ever end? He wondered. The lies, the secrets, all seemed woven into the very fabric of his heritage. He didn't know if he should feel pity or anger at her right now.

Justin had gotten up and left the room as soon as Joan entered. He didn't speak to her, or even acknowledge her. The slight was not missed by either Brian or Joan. She had information that affected both of them, and their children, and chose to keep it from them. Brian didn't know if he'd ever forgive her for it.

"I think it's time we let the skeletons out, don't you mother? They've been fucking with my life for years, and now they're threatening to fuck with my children's. YOUR grandchildren!" Brian snarled at her.

Joan recoiled from her son's rage. She understood and accepted it, but she would not cower from him. She did what she did to protect him! When he knew the truth, he would understand why she did what she did. At the very least, he would appreciate her predicament.

She looked up into his eyes with eyes blazing with righteousness.

"Don't you dare judge me Brian! Yes I knew about the curse, and YES I could have ended it, but I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me you're willing to do what is necessary to end the suffering!" Joan said.

Brian looked at her as if she went mad.

"What the fuck are you talking about? What do I need to do to end the curse? Tell me, I'll do it!" Brian said.

Joan scoffed. "Just like your father. You're father was ready to do it. I stopped him." Joan said.

Brian's nostrils flared in anger.

"You stopped my father from ending the curse? How dare you! Why??? Why would you condemn me, your only son, to a life of suffering?" Brian asked, totally confused by Joan's heartlessness.

Joan took a deep breath. "Did James tell you the curse?" Joan asked

"He told me all about the curse." Brian answered.

"No, I mean did he tell you the actually curse? The words? The answer to breaking the curse is in the curse itself. Your father figured it out." She said.

"No, what are the words." Brian asked in a dangerously calm voice.

Joan's eyes grew distant as she repeated the words to the curse.

‘Before the night is over, before this day is through,  
For what you've done today, I cast this spell on you..  
Seven generations all male their blood to spill  
Pain, suffering and death, all this be my will   
To feed my vengeance I have sworn  
For each and every male that's born  
Until the wrong is right again  
This curse will never ever end..."

 

Brian's blood ran cold at hearing the words to the curse that has plagued him and Justin their whole lives. It was a curse of vengeance, vengeance sought unwittingly on the author of the curse and all born of his blood. It was responsible for his uncle Aidan's murder, Justin's bashing, Peter's molestation as a child, Jagger's drug addiction and prostitution, and God only knows what horror's it had in store for Johnny, Gus and Andy. He had to stop it, at any cost.

"I don't understand, you said the answer is in the curse. Where?" Brian asked.

"Until the wrong is right again. Don't you see? An eye for an eye. That's how you end the curse. Jack figured it out." Joan said.

Brian furrowed his brow, puzzled. An eye for an eye? How? What did that mean?

Joan saw the confusion in her sons' eyes, she was not surprised. Why should he understand? You had to have a cold unfeeling heart, and soul to figure it out. Jack was that heartless. Brian wasn't.

"Brian, remember the story of how Jack wanted me to abort you?" Joan asked.

"Jesus fucking Christ Mom! Why the fuck would you bring that up now?!" Brian asked outraged.

"Because Jack was affected by the curse as well! He wanted desperately to break it to save his own sorry ass, no matter if it meant killing his own son!" Joan said.

Brian's head snapped back at Joan's words, stunned.

"Wait, wait, how the fuck was Jack affected?" Brian asked.

"I was married off to your father, he was my cousin, though four times removed. His great, great, great grandmother was one of the village girls Alexander impregnated before his death." Joan said.

Brian had to sit down, his head was reeling. It made sense though; Jack's life was pretty much fucked too. He was a miserable old fuck who drank way too much and died a painful death from a cancer that ate away at him for years before it finally took him.

"My God, is there no limit to the secrets you've kept from me?" Brian asked, his heart aching along with his mind from all the information he was receiving tonight. He felt like Alice having just fell down the rabbit hole. Nothing seemed ‘real', it was all so surreal.

"I did what I did to protect you!" Joan all but screamed at Brian.

"And by protecting me you did what? Gave me away?" Brian asked.

"No, by not allowing Jack to kill you." Joan said.

Brian shook his head.

"Ok, lets back up. You said Jack wanted you to abort me break the curse. But that doesn't make sense. How would aborting his own son break the curse?" Brian asked.

"Until the wrong is right again. What was the wrong Brian?" Joan asked.

"Um, let's see, how about a son placing a curse on his own mother?" Brian spat out sarcastically.

"No, the curse came about because a Preston sent an innocent woman, an O'Hara, to her death. She in essence murdered her. So in order to break the curse, an O'Hara has to kill a Preston. An eye for an eye. Jack wanted me to kill you, but I couldn't do it. I refused to have the abortion, I didn't believe it would work anyway since you were of the O'Hara bloodline, and in order to end the curse a Preston had to die. But since we didn't think the Preston bloodline still existed, your father in his ultimate wisdom thought that if he killed his own son, it would be good enough to end the curse. Like I said, he was desperate and if I hadn't sent you away, I believe he might have killed you in one of his drunken rages. It was only after you were older, that Jack stopped his obsession with ending the curse. By then he resigned himself to the fact that he was cursed, as his sons were and there was nothing he could do about it." Joan said.

Brian's face went white. He knew Jack hated him as a child, but to want to kill him? He felt very, very sick.

"Wait, you said sons? Do I have a brother I don't know about?" Brian asked. Nothing at this point would surprise hm.

Now Joan's face went white.

"Actually, you did know him, well. For that at least I'm grateful." Joan said.

Brian's heart quickened. He didn't need to hear the words to know who Joan was talking about.

Andy.

He always felt a special bond to Andy. At first, he thought it was love. Andy was his first love...Jesus Fuck! He lusted after his own brother! Ok, he couldn't think of that now. It was in the past, and his feelings for Andy over time turned into what they should have been from the beginning, brotherly love. True brotherly love.

 

No, he didn't need to hear the words, but he wanted to anyway.

"Tell me." He said.

Joan told Brian about Jack's affair with Maria, and how Andy was the result of that affair. She also explained to him why they all kept it a secret from Emilian, though she didn't have to explain that to him. He knew first hand how evil Emilian was, what he would do if he found out....what he ... did... do....

"God noo..." Brian breathed.

"Brian, I'm sorry." Joan said.

Brian shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts.

"Emilian found out, didn't he?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't. But James suspects he did." Joan said.

Brian suspected as much. It would explain why he tortured Andy the way he did. It would also explain Maria's untimely death. Brian cursed the fates, he cursed his ancestor, and he cursed Emilian to hell for what must be the millionth time.

 

Joan went over to where Brian was sitting and put a hand on his shoulder.

"You see why I couldn't tell you? I didn't know until James told me that the Preston clan existed. It would have been futile for me to tell you. You couldn't have ended it.....well not then at least." Joan said.

Brian looked up at her. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"Justin is of the Preston line, as is your son, Andy. God forgive me for saying this, but the only way to break the curse, is if you killed Justin, or your own son. That was how it was put to me. Jack wanted me to kill my own son, his own son. I'd kill myself before I'd do that, and I know you feel the same way. So you see, though there is a way to end the curse, the means would be far worse then the curse itself. Like your father, we must resign ourselves to the fact that the males in our family, would be forever cursed." Joan said.

Brian put his face in his hands and moaned deeply in anguish. Joan was right, he'd sooner kill himself than harm any of his children. But she was wrong in thinking he couldn't end the curse.

There was still a way. Adeline's child. It was Justin's child, a Preston. Brian had to kill Adeline's unborn child. It was his destiny. He knew in his heart Adeline was carrying Justin's son. A boy. Andy would not be here if it weren't so. The ghost of Alexander was here to witness the deed. To make sure the ‘wrong' was righted again.

His heart cried for his brother, who had no idea what he did in his past life. If he knew, it would kill him. Not his body, that was long dead, another casualty of the curse, but his soul. It would kill his soul to know his part in all of this. Some how Brian had to protect him from ever knowing. Fuck what Elliot told him. He didn't want Andy to ever remember! He had to do this deed himself; he couldn't risk Andy remembering who he was, and what he did. He had risked his own soul in the past to protect his brother, and he would do it again. By now, he figured his soul was damned at least three times over, what's one more? He would do the unthinkable to save his family once again. He had already made the vow, at any cost, he would break the curse.

And it was he who had to do it, not Justin. Not that he would want Justin to ever be put in that position. It was too horrid to even think. For once, he could empathize with what his mother must have gone through. No, he would have to be the one to commit the sin. And he would do it, no apologies, no regrets.

There were two things he knew with absolute certainty, one was that curse had to end, and he was the chosen one to end it, and two was that in the process, he would lose Justin forever for he knew, there was no way Justin would forgive him for murdering his son...


	22. Of Angels and Demons

**Who is this man whom demons and angels obey,  
Who carries love's soft sway   
Amid corpses of the liar's laugh   
And raises them from death to life?**

 **Who is this man who breaks the chains that bind,  
Who casts out demons and watched   
As Satan fell from the sky,   
And who removes our slavery to sin?**

 **Who is this man that tramples snakes and scorpions,  
Heals the sick, and suffers   
The little children to come to him   
For they are of the kingdom?**

 **Who is this man who is hated, and scorned by fools?  
He is the essence of life, the forgiver,   
The hope for mankind, the spirit of truth   
And the rescuer of you and me**

 **~ Rosalie Benet**

 

Joffith morphed into semi-human form behind the great walnut tree that was central to the Château's massive gardens. The first thing he noticed through his human eyes was color.

Purples, oranges, reds, greens, yellows, and every other color of the rainbow, which Joffith did see once...a long time ago...was represented in the gardens. If he were an appreciative demon minion, and he wasn't sure such a thing existed, he might be in awe of the spectacle before him. But he wasn't.

Joffith's unscheduled trip to earth was the result of a poorly executed mission. He shouldn't have had to make this trip at all but as fate would have it, the ‘soul' he was instructed to obtain for his Master kept eluding him and if he ever wanted to achieve his goal, (to graduate to "Demon"), he knew this was his last chance to snare the prize to present as evidence that he was ready for the much horded title. As it was, he'd been merely a minion, serving the Dark Lords of the undergrounds in whatever manner they choose to satisfy thier debauched tastes.

The ‘soul' in question had broken protocol and inhabited a human body. Which meant he was free game now. His precious Angel Gabriel could not protect him here. Joffith's evil mind salivated with images of the power he would gain from snatching this one from right under the watch of a very powerful Angel.

Joffith was lost in his malevolent musings when the grating sound of children's laughter invaded his thoughts. He winched as the offensive noise filled the garden and pained his ears. His evil gaze was drawn to the garden where the little wretched creatures that made the odious sound, romped as they amused themselves with his prey. Joffith snarled his contempt at the smell of innocence that radiated from them. He needed them to go away so he could approach the ‘soul'. His kind could not be near the pure of spirit without coming away damaged from it, and none were so chaste as the bairns.

Summoning up a harmless, yet effective spell, Joffith whipped up the wind, mixed with the pollen from the flowers in the garden and sent a dusty gale in the children's direction. They started sneezing and rubbing their eyes from the tiny particles that flown into their noses and eyes with earnest. Their ghastly laughter turned into sweet wails that put a smile on Joffith's face.

The ‘soul' quickly brought the children into the house, and away from the tiny storm Joffith created, which in effect, defeated his goal. "Stupid!" He berated himself. He was about to leave thinking he once again floundered his chance to snag the prize when the ‘soul' came back out a few minutes later, alone and sat on the stone bench near a lemon tree.

Joffith rubbed his greedy, eager hands together and approached him.

 

Andy sat down on the garden bench and raised his face to the Sun with closed eyes. He didn't think he'd ever tire of the feel of the Sun against his skin. Well, technically it wasn't his skin, it was Jason's skin, but Andy was not about to quibble over such details. He knew soon enough, he'd be leaving his human host body and returning to....Hmm... Where would he be returning to once he left this body? The last time he departed the earth he remained in a place somewhere between heaven and earth, watching over his family. He never actually made it into heaven. Gabriel had insinuated he would, had asked him several times if he was ‘ready', though he never commanded him to go, or even told him he would be going, he just asked if he was ready. Andy wondered if when this mission was done, would he be granted entrance into heaven?

Andy was so lost in his thoughts that at first, he didn't notice the sudden quickening of his pulse. He sensed something was near, something not human, not holy. He opened his eyes and saw a ghost of a human form standing in front of him.

The ‘thing', took on a ghoulish appearance. Scrawny limbs hung off an emaciated torso, which was barely covered with a dark, tattered cloth. Black sunken eyes filled a skull with hollow cheeks and gray lips. Wisps of gray splintered strands of hair poked out from his bony scalp. And the foul stench emanating from him was enough to make the bile rise in the back of Andy's throat.

Andy knew evil, having experienced it first hand, and this thing was the entity that personified it. He wondered briefly if his musing over his destiny had conjured up the beast, if it were a sign of things to come for him.

"State your purpose Demon and be done with it." Andy said in greeting.

Joffith smiled at the title the ‘soul' called him by.

 _‘Not yet, but soon...soon I will be demon..'_ He thought.

Andy's stomach lurched at the evil grin.

"Ah, now that's not very hospitable is it? And here I came to help you." Joffith said.

"I need no help from the likes of you." Andy stated.

Joffith sighed. "Perhaps not, but your brother might." He said.

Andy furrowed his brow.

"You stay away from him." Andy said in a dangerous low voice.

Joffith laughed wickedly. "How touching you want to protect your brother from me. And how unnecessary. He's no stranger to evil. In fact, he's about to join our little family." Joffith taunted.

Andy sprang up at the demon in front of him only to land flat on his face when he went right through him.

Again the demon exhaled his evil laugh.

"Stupid cow. You are in human form now. You cannot harm me." He said.

Andy got up and dusted himself off.

"I wouldn't be so sure demon, I've faith." He said simply.

The smile from Joffith's face faded, but his determination didn't.

"Yes, you have faith, but does your brother?" He asked.

Andy honestly couldn't answer the question. He knew that since finding his soul mate, Brian open his heart to love. He knew his faith had strengthened over the years, but finding out about this curse has damaged that faith. He worried Brian's faith wouldn't be strong enough to protect him from this thing.

"What is it you want!?" Andy demanded.

"Power and all that goes with it, but I can only get it if I claim your soul." The demon said.

Andy was surprised at the honest reply. Demons were notorious liars, yet Andy knew this one to be telling the truth.

"That will never happen." Andy said with complete certainty.

"Perhaps, but if not yours, I'll certainly have your brothers. It may not be enough to get me all that I desire, but it will be a start. Your soul is the true prize I seek." Joffith all but hissed.

"What do you mean, you will certainly have my brothers'? How can you know that?" Andy asked.

"I may not have ears, but I hear. I hear his thoughts. He's plotting the death of an innocent child." Joffith said.

Andy gasped. "NO! He would never do that! You lie! I will not listen to you!" Andy turned from the demon.

"Then ask him yourself. His words may deny his intent, but seek the truth in his eyes, you will see I do not lie." Joffith said.

Andy turned back to face the evil incarnation. "Why? Why would Brian do that? It makes no sense." Andy asked.

"To break the curse of course." The demon answered.

"I don't understand." Andy said.

James had told Brian and Justin about the curse last night. This morning they were oddly quiet. He knew something was amiss between the two of them, and he suspected it had something to do with the curse, but Andy had yet to talk to Brian about it. He and Justin took off earlier. They told the family they'd be back for dinner, but they didn't say where they were going. Andy assumed they wanted time away alone to discuss what James told them last night.

"No, you wouldn't, because you still have no memory, do you....Alexander?" Joffith drawled out the name evilly looking for signs of recognition in the souls' eyes. There was none.

Andy's heart quickened, a slight sweat broke out on his forehead at the sound of the name. His name, from a past life.

"Tell me, what do you know of my life as Alexander?" Andy asked.

"It matters not what I know about your past, it only matters that I know who you were, and how to break the curse, as does your brother." Joffith evaded.

"And what does the curse have to do with who I was?" Andy asked.

"It has everything to do with who you were, who you ARE! You are a descendant of the O'Hara clan, as your brother is. And only an O'Hara can break the curse. Though in doing so, he forfeits his own soul. So you see, I will get your brothers soul, because he has vowed to break the curse." Joffith said.

Andy's mind went numb at the demon's words. He knew from his vision that he was Alexander O'Hara in a past life; that his soul inhabited his body, but he had no idea he was a direct descendant! How could that be? The soul and the body were two very different entities. As far as he knew his lineage was not connected to Brian's at all! His father was a Cardie, his mother's maiden name was Sanchez. He knew of no blood connection. However, somewhere, deep inside, he knew the demon was telling the truth. Somehow, he and Brian were related. And now that blood connection was key to breaking the curse. Andy shivered at the implications of it all.

He needed to talk to his brother; he had so many questions. But Brian wasn't here, this ‘thing' was, and he couldn't help but ask the question he knew deep down inside, he shouldn't be asking, and didn't want to know the answer.

"Are you saying that the taking of an innocent life is the only way to break the curse?" Andy asked cautiously.

"Not just any life, but the life of a child of the Preston line. Justin is a direct descendant of the Preston clan. The sow who pulled him from the river is now carrying his child. A Preston child." The demon revealed almost gleefully.

 _‘Dear God noooo!'_ Andy's mind screamed. Justin's child? Brian had to kill Justin's child? Andy shook his head in denial. It couldn't be...no...

The demon saw the doubt in the souls' eyes and pressed forward urgently.

"An O'Hara must kill the child to break the curse. Tis the only way, and Brian knows this. He is already planning the destruction of his soul mates child, and will succeed....Unless...." The demon deviously let the unfinished thought hang in the air.

"What, tell me!?!" Andy asked frantically feeling as if he were just dropped into the middle of some horror movie.

"Unless you do the deed for him." The demon said.

Andy's heart constricted in his chest painfully as fear gripped him. No his mind screamed. He couldn't, wouldn't do it. It was a sin too great, the destruction of an innocent soul! Nothing could justify it, nothing. There had to be another way to break the curse.

The demon read Andy's thoughts and spat out foul spittle onto the ground in disgust.

"And this is how I know for certain I will be rewarded with your brothers soul. You are too much of a coward to risk your own soul. You've already proven that when you let him take your life before. You let your own brother risk his soul to save your own. It was a selfish, cowardly act. Why do you think you've not been admitted into Heaven? The only reason you are not dwelling within my house is because up till that point, your soul was pure. You've yet to redeem that selfish act." The demon said craftily weaving truths and lies into his argument.

Andy's face went completely white. He could not deny the demons accusation. He was a coward. He let Brian, no begged Brian, his own brother to end his suffering, knowing he was asking him to commit a sin. It wasn't as if he didn't know the enormity of his request, he knew what he was asking, but the pain was so great, he suffered so much, for so long....

The guilt of it never left him though. It was why he felt compelled to stay behind to watch over his brother. Each time Gabriel asked him if he was ‘ready' to go to Heaven, Andy refused. Maybe part of him knew he didn't deserve to go to Heaven. But up until now, upon hearing it from the demons mouth, he never thought of the ‘real' consequences of his actions on that awful night. He not only forfeited his brothers' soul, but his own in his selfish request.

 

Joffith could smell the guilt steaming off of his prey and went in for the kill.

"It is not to late to right the wrong. You've been given another chance to redeem yourself, and save your brother's soul from eternal damnation. As of now, the destiny of his soul is still to be determined. His taking of your life was an unselfish act, an act of mercy, though the life he took, yours, was innocent. He has time yet to redeem his soul....as do you." Joffith crooned into Andy's ear.

"Do it..." He hissed.

"Kill the unborn child. End the curse, save your brothers soul." He urged fervently.

Andy put his hands over his ears and screamed. He could take no more.

He screamed long, and loud and hysterically. He kept screaming even after the demon faded away, his evil laughter ringing in his ears, and resounded in his brain.

He screamed until his throat burned, and the air in his lungs evaporated, causing him to collapse onto the ground, gulping for air like a fish out of water.

Andy screamed and screamed until blackness descended on him and he was blissfully rendered unconscious.

 

Gabriel watched from above as his ward struggled with the information the demon gave him.

 _‘..................'You mustn't interfere.............'_

The Arch Angel Michael spoke from behind him.

Gabriel sighed heavily.

 _‘...............I know. It is in his hands now. I wish there were more I can do.........'_

Gabriel said dejectedly.

 _‘..................Well, you could send Elliot again...........'_

Michael said uncharacteristically.

Gabriel looked over at his fellow Angel and smiled.

 _‘..................I should have guessed that would not get past your notice. I would think however that you didn't approve..........'_

Gabriel mused.

 _‘................Normally, I would not. But in this case I believe a little divine intervention is merited. The dark angel's henchman is now involved..........'_

Michael said.

Gabriel nodded his head in agreement. Michael was right. He had not anticipated the demon's interference. The evil spirit tainted his wards' mission. He would summon Elliot again with a new task for him.

This time, the intervention needed to be more direct.

 

***********************************************************

 

"Easy Betsy. I know you miss your Mistress, but I'm here. I won't let anything bad happen to you." Justin crooned to the cow as he sat down on an overturned tin pail and started milking her.

"Justin, what the fuck are you doing?" Brian asked as he leaned against the doorframe to the barn.

Justin looked over at him. "I'm milking her. If she doesn't get milked, she might get an infection." Justin said.

Brian narrowed his eyes. "How the fuck do you know that? And for that matter, how the fuck do you know how to milk a cow in the first place?!" Brian asked.

He was not in a good mood. The last place he wanted to be right now was back at the fucking cabin. Or, as he liked to call it, the scene of the crime.

The minute Joan left the library last night, after dropping her little bomb, Justin came rushing in to hear what she had to say. Brian couldn't tell him, yet he couldn't lie to him, so he gave Justin an edited version of what Joan said. He told him that Joan said his father had an affair with Maria, and that Andy was his true brother. Justin was blown away by that announcement, almost as much as Brian was when he first heard it. Though he told Brian it shouldn't be a surprise, considering the close bond he and Andy shared. On some level they each felt a special connection to the other.

Brian then went on to tell him that Joan didn't really know how to break the curse, which was true since she didn't know about Adeline's pregnancy, but that Jack, in his demented mind, thought that if Joan aborted him, as some sort of sacrifice to their ancestor, that it would end the curse.

Justin was horrified at the notion that Jack was willing to murder his own son, even if he believed it would end the curse. Brian agreed it was a pretty shitty thing to do, but assured Justin that Jack was wrong. Killing his own son would NOT have ended the curse. Which was also true, it wasn't an O'Hara child that needed to be sacrificed, it was a Preston child. Brian however omitted that piece of information.

After Brian told Justin all he was going to, he felt drained. He asked Justin for some aspirin for the bitch of a headache he had. Justin immediately became concerned and pulled out the portable blood pressure monitor Rena thought to bring with them on their trip. Brian's pressure was fine, which eased Justin's mind. He gave Brian two aspirin and put him to bed. They agreed to discuss their situation in the morning, away from the families' ears.

They woke up early and Justin suggested they take a drive in the country. He insisted on driving, wanting to give Brian some time to just relax. They intended to use the time alone to discuss how they were going to break the news to Andy, and what they were going to do about Adeline. But they were both too mentally exhausted by all they'd discovered in the last twenty-four hours that they ended up driving in silence, each taking in the beautiful scenery of the lush countryside.

Brian was surprised, and not in a good way, when Justin drove up to the cabin. It was the last place he wanted to be but he was sure Justin had his reasons for wanting to be here. Though milking Betsy's wasn't one that came to mind.

"I watched Adeline during my time here milk her. She talked a lot about Betsy. The cow apparently was her only friend." Justin said.

Brian huffed and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and took a long pull before he spoke again.

"So what's the real reason we're here?" Brian asked.

"I told you, Betsy could get sick if she's not milked." Justin insisted.

"Bullshit. You could have hired someone to take care of the animal. Or do you intend to come up here everyday to milk the fucking beast yourself?" Brian said, his agitation showing.

Betsy kicked up a bit at Brian's hostile tone causing Justin to jump back.

"Easy now, he's all bluster, he won't hurt you." Justin crooned to the cow as he stroked her hind legs.

Brian took another pull from his cigarette and stared at Justin, waiting for him to answer him.

Justin sat back down on the overturned pail and continued to milk the cow.

"I'll hire someone to take care of her tomorrow. And believe it or not, the reason I'm here is because I wanted to make sure she was all right. You know she was the one who actually found me. Adeline was looking for her. Betsy was the first living being I saw when I opened my eyes." Justin said.

Brian narrowed his eyes.

"What the fuck? Now you're telling me you have some emotional attachment to the beast? Next you'll be telling me you have some emotional attachment to Adeline." Brian said caustically.

Justin didn't answer him, but Brian saw the corners of his lips tighten at his words.

"Please tell me that you are NOT feeling sorry for that cunt!" Brian spat out angrily.

He rationalized that his outburst stemmed from the fact that Adeline drugged and raped Justin, which was true, but it was more than that. He needed to hate her. It was the only way he could go through with what he was planning. If he started humanizing her, it would be that much harder.

Justin finished milking the cow and walked out of the barn, past Brian and into the cabin with out saying a word.

"Fuck!" Brian cursed, crushed his cigarette out on the ground, and followed Justin.

He found Justin sitting on the bed in the bedroom Adeline kept him in while he was recuperating.

"Justin, talk to me. What the fuck is going on in your head?" Brian asked.

Justin ran his hand over the rumpled sheets of the bed.

"I almost died here Brian. I would have died if it weren't for her." Justin said.

Brian snorted derisively and sat down on the bed next to him.

"Maybe. Or maybe someone else would have found you, and taken you to a hospital, instead of drugging and raping you." Brian's tone was extremely caustic.

"Stop it Brian! Just fucking stop it! I KNOW what she did to me, I don't need you fucking reminding me every fucking chance you get!" Justin retorted heatedly.

"Actually, I think you do need reminding, Sunshine." Brian insolently used the endearment.

Justin bore his eyes into Brian's. Fire sparked in them. God he hated when Brian did that! Mocked him. Sometimes he wished Deb never gave him that nic. At times his heart would melt hearing it roll off Brian's tongue, especially when they were making love. But Brian was also good at using it as a weapon, when he was angry with him, and trying to get his attention. After all these years, one would think Brian wouldn't want the kind of attention he usually got when he mockingly used his nic against him. It had caused some serious fights in the past.

He stood up from the bed and faced his partner.

"NO Brian, it is YOU, who needs reminding that it was me lying in this bed, fucking half insane, near death! And though I don't excuse what she did, I DO understand! She drugged me because she couldn't stand to see the pain I was in! Fuck, I begged her to give me that shit! Anything to stop the pain! When she saw it wasn't enough, and I as getting worse, she DID seek professional medical help for me. And yes, she took advantage of me. Yes, it was rape, but in her own demented mind, she was loving me! She NEVER intentionally hurt me! SHE'S NOT FUCKING HOBBS!" Justin finished his rant.

Brian's head jerked back in shock at the comparison. Or more accurately, the non-comparison. Justin was right; Brian was equating what Adeline did to him to what Hobbs did to him. He had to; he couldn't let himself feel anything but scorn and contempt for that woman. But the truth was, Hobbs set out to hurt Justin. And he did. He nearly killed him. Adeline hurt Justin, but her intentions were never malicious. In the end, she was responsible for saving him. Still, Brian couldn't allow himself to think of her as anything less then evil. He had his reasons. Reasons Justin was never going to understand.

"No, she's not Hobbs. She's worse. Hobbs' evil was evident from the beginning. He made no secret of his hate, and his intent. Adeline made you trust her. You relied on her to care for you. You believed her to be good and decent. Then she raped you. And now, because of that unconscionable act she's pregnant. So you see she not only violated you, your son will feel the consequences as well. What kind of life will he have? He'll grow up either hating you, or his mother. There is no middle ground here. So while you're being so ‘understanding' you might want to consider that!" Brian snarled out.

Justin's jaw dropped open, shocked at the cruelty of Brian's words. He turned and stormed out of the room, needing to put some space between them.

Brian watched Justin storm out with a heavy heart. And so it begins, he thought. He hated what he was doing, but he had no choice. When he did the deed, Justin would be devastated. He hoped if he could get Justin to see Adeline as a manipulative person, who put him and the unborn child in an impossible situation that it would hurt less when the child was aborted. He knew he was grasping for straws at this point, but that was all he had. He was under no illusions that Justin would ever forgive him for making Adeline abort his child.

 

He got up and followed Justin outside. He found him standing in the middle of the front yard, arms folded around his waist. He knew that stance. Justin was fuming.

"Justin.." Brian's voice took on a softer tone as he approached him from behind.

Justin could feel Brian's inner turmoil, but was at a lost as to what was causing it. Brian was determined to villianize Adeline, in a way he didn't think she deserved. He knew Brian would never forgive Adeline for what she did, but it was more than that. Brian was conjuring some serious hatred against the woman, which was so out of character for him. There was something else fueling his rage. Something he was just as determined to hide from Justin, and that knowledge hurt Justin worse of all.

"What aren't you telling me?" Justin asked, turning around to face his partner, his eyes pleading.

Brian rolled his bottom lip under his teeth and stared at Justin. Now came the part where he would have to lie.

"I..."

 _"Still derailed I see.."_ A voice came out of the air, shocking both Justin and Brian.

"What the fuck was that?" Justin asked looking around him to see where the strange voice came from.

Brian groaned. He recognized that thick gravely voice. It was Elliot. The angel he encountered on his last ‘out of body' experience.

 _"I'm not an Angel, I told you that before."_ The voice reverberated around them.

Justin jumped into Brian's arms upon hearing the voice again.

They were in an open field; there was no one around. It was as if the voice was coming out of thin air.

"Brian, what the fuck is going on?" He asked.

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin. "Ok, this one is going to be a little hard to explain." Brian said.

The strange voice laughed.

 _"Actually you're very good at explaining things."_ Elliot said, referring to Brian's explanation of what sex and love felt like.

"Yeah, well that was easy. I might need a little help with this one." Brian said to the voice.

Justin looked up at him strangely.

 _"As you wish.."_ Elliot said.

A gust of wind past over them, causing the hairs on the back of their necks to stand up. Justin instinctively turned around in Brian's arms to follow the wind's direction.

There, in front of them, a figure started to materialize. At first, it appeared in mist form, then it took on a more three dimensional shape.

Justin blinked his eyes several times as the evanescence figure emerged before them. A man, or what appeared to be a man in ghostly form, smiled back at him. He wore a bright orange suit, which made his bright orange/red hair that much more luminous. His eyes were indiscernible, his nose bulbous. A fat cigar rested precariously between his beefy lips.

 _"What's the matter? Never seen a spirit before?"_ Elliot teased, seeing the shocked look on Justin's face.

Justin sputtered, not wanting to appear rude, though he didn't know what decorum to follow when addressing a ghost! Especially one as oddly looking as this one. He looked like a character straight out of a Quentin Tarantino movie.

 _"Who?"_ Elliot asked.

"He can read your thoughts." Brian whispered into Justin's ear.

Justin blushed.

"Wait, you know him?" Justin asked as he continued to stare at the specter.

"Yeah, we've met." Brian said and nodded his head in greeting to Elliot.

 _"So how's that roller coaster ride going for you?"_ Elliot asked.

"Seems we've derailed again." Brian sighed.

"Brian, what the fuck is going on! Since when do you speak to ghosts about roller coaster rides?" Justin blurted out. The whole situation was just too surreal for him.

 _"I'm not a ghost."_ Elliot said.

"And he's not an Angel." Brian added.

Justin shook his head confused.

"Well what the fuck is he then!" Justin blurted out.

 _"My name is Elliot. I'm an agent of the Angel Gabriel."_ Elliot answered in his rough, gravely voice.

Justin blushed, embarrassed by his out burst. He just cursed in front of a holy spirit!

Elliot laughed.

 _"It's ok, I've heard worse from your soul mate."_ Elliot assured him.

Justin whisked around to face Brian.

"Where did you meet him?" He asked totally bewildered.

"A few earth days ago, I pulled his soul from his body. Same day you got your memory back." Elliot answered for Brian.

Justin shook his head to clear it. He turned back around to face the spirit.

"You did what!? You can't just go around pulling souls out of peoples bodies!" He scolded Elliot.

Elliot's eyes grew wide at the reprimand.

Justin stood in front of Brian, his back against his chest, and reached back to grab a hold of his hips.

"And don't think I'm going to let you take his soul again!" He announced bravely.

Elliot pulled the fat cigar from his mouth and stared at the human with appreciative eyes.

 _"Well, well, well...what do you know. This is the first time my question was answered without me having to ask."_ He said.

Justin narrowed his eyes. "What question?" He asked.

 _"What is love..You've just demonstrated it, beautifully."_ Elliot answered, placing the cigar firmly back between his lips.

Justin turned confused eyes to Brian. Brian shrugged.

"He likes to ask humans their view on love and sex. I know, I thought it strange too." Brian said smiling down at Justin. His heart swelled at Justin's protective nature.

Justin turned back to face Elliot again.

"Why are you here?" He asked cautiously.

 _"It seems our chat left little impression on you."_ Elliot said addressing Brian.

"What chat? What's he talking about?" Justin asked Brian.

Brian's heart started pounding a little faster. Justin could feel it. He didn't want Justin to know what the spirit said to him.

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't need to be here, we're fine on our own Justin, trust me." Brian said earnestly.

 _‘Yeah, trust me. That's a fucking laugh.'_ Brian thought to himself.

Elliot sighed. _"Humans."_ He said shaking his head. They had eyes but did not see, ears, yet refused to hear.

 _"If you were fine, I wouldn't be here. You need to heed what I told you, but that is your choice of course. I'm here for another reason. To tell you that your brother knows the truth. A little nasty demon minion named Joffith has visited him and told him of his relation to you, and the significance of it."_ Elliot said.

Brian's face blanched at Elliot's words.

"Fuck! When?" He asked nervously.

 _"Right after you left this morning. He didn't harm him, he just gave him the information."_ Elliot informed him.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Brian cursed feverously.

"Justin we need to get back now!" He said.

"Brian, calm down! I know he should have heard that he's your half brother from you, but it doesn't matter now. I'm sure he's happy about it, why are you panicking? Elliot said he was fine." Justin said, not understanding Brian's reaction.

Brian ran his hand through his hair frustrated. He had to get to Andy. He feared what else the demon may have told Andy. He didn't want his brother to know that it was because of him, generations of their families suffered. It would kill him if he knew that truth.

Justin was looking at him, waiting for his answer. He didn't tell Justin that Andy was Alexander in his past life. He was going to tell him once they had more information, but couldn't find the words after they found out last night that it was Alexander O'Hara, Andy, who placed the curse on them. It broke his heart when James told them, and it would break Justin's heart, and Andy would never forgive himself if he knew. He knew without a doubt, it would kill him should he find out.

 

 _"Brian, don't lose faith now. Tell him."_ Elliot advised.

"Shut up!" Brian turned on the spirit, not knowing who Elliot was referring to. Tell who? Justin or Andy? Or both?

"Brian!" Justin admonished. Last thing he wanted was for Brian to piss off Gabriel's messenger.

"Let's just go!" Brian said reaching for Justin to take the car keys out from his pocket.

Justin back up and away from Brian.

"NO! We're not going anywhere till you tell me what the fuck is going on? Why are you so frantic to get to Andy? What did that demon tell him that's scaring the shit out of you?" Justin demanded.

"FINE! You want the truth? Well here's the truth. It was ANDY who placed the curse on us!" Brian spat out viciously.

Justin's head jerked back as if Brian just slapped him.

"No fucking way! Andy would NEVER!" He said.

Brian curled his lip in disgust. "No, Andy wouldn't, but Alexander O'Hara did. And Andy told me he had a vision that he was Alexander O'Hara in his past life, only he doesn't remember anything about the curse, or what led up to it. How am I going to tell my own brother he's the cause of all our pain? Justin, it will kill him...Don't you see? What if that demon told him? Or if he remembers and I'm not there? I need to get to him before he does something stupid!" Brian ranted.

Justin stared at Brian in shock. He was right, if Andy knew he was responsible for all their pain, it would kill him. Justin didn't know Andy long, but he knew, through Brian, that Andy was a good soul. Kind, decent and very loving. He always looked out for Brian and Rena. He took the brunt of Emilian's anger, saving Brian and Rena from his attention. His heart ached thinking about how Andy would react to knowing he was the cause of his brothers pain, as well as his own.

 _"Again, you are not heeding my words. I told you, he needs to remember. You have very little faith in your brother."_ Elliot said.

"I can't tell him!" Brian said.

 _"No, you can't, he needs to remember. God gave you ears, use them. I've said it several times now. He....needs....to....remember."_ Elliot drawled out as if were talking to simpletons.

Brian snorted.

"And exactly how am I going to get him to remember?" Brian asked.

 _"By allowing him to do what he needs to."_ Elliot said.

Brian looked at him confused.

Elliot huffed out a puff of smoke.

 _"He's an O'Hara Brian. The O'Hara. It's by his hand the curse was placed, and it will be by his hands the curse will end. Not yours."_ This time when Elliot spoke, only Brian heard him. Justin did not know any thoughts were exchanged.

"NO! I won't let him!" Brian reacted strongly.

"What does Andy need to do?" Justin asked.

Brian looked at Justin and realized he didn't hear what Elliot said. He looked over at Elliot for confirmation.

 _"I spoke only to you."_ Elliot confirmed.

Again, Justin didn't hear him. He was looking at Brian, waiting for him to answer his question.

Brian sighed, grateful for Elliot's discretion.

 _"I'm not allowed."_ Elliot corrected. It was not by discretion he withheld that information from Justin, it was by design. Gabriel did not want the young soul to know of Brian's intentions to break the curse on his own.

This time Justin heard him.

"Not allowed to what?! I'm so fucking confused! What's going on Bri?" Justin demanded.

"He's not allowed to tell us anymore than what Gabriel instructs him to." Brian answered.

"Ok, so if I'm following, some demon spilled the beans to Andy about being your half brother, and possibly about him being the one who cursed us in a past life. And, there is something Andy needs to do, but Elliot can't tell us what it is." Justin surmised.

"Basically, that's it in a nutshell." Brian said.

"But you know what he needs to do, don't you?" Justin asked.

"He doesn't need to do anything. I don't want him hurt anymore. It doesn't matter what Elliot says, I don't want Andy knowing anything! Promise me Justin, you won't tell him." Brian asked, his eyes pleading with Justin.

"I promise. I won't tell him. But Brian, if Andy remembers that he was the one who placed the curse, then he'll know how to break it. Maybe that's what he needs to do." Justin rationalized.

The boy didn't get 1500 on his SAT's for nothing.

"NO! Just leave it! What ever needs to be done, I'll do it. I'll find a way to break the curse. You need to trust me on this." Brian said with finality.

A finality that sent a cold chill down Justin's spine.

"I do trust you Brian." Justin said without hesitation. It wasn't even a question. He trusted Brian completely with his life, and his heart.

His declaration cut through Brian's heart. He was about to do the unthinkable, break that trust. He had no choice though.

 _"You always have choice in life. You just need to seek and you shall find. Choose wisely Brian, choose with faith, not fear.."_ Elliot spoke the words for Brian's ears only, hoping the meaning behind them would penetrate Brian's thick scull. This human was stubborn, very stubborn; he was not heeding Elliot's words. But he was instructed not to tell Brian what his choices were, so he couldn't be more specific.

Justin turned to face the spirit.

"Is there anything else you can tell us?" He asked.

Elliot saw the tears forming in the young soul's eyes, heard the desperation in his voice.

 _"Just this. Know thyself."_ Elliot said, fearing he gave too much away. It was the one part of the equation that he was forbidden to reveal.

Justin looked at him oddly, sensing there was some deeper message in Elliot's words.

 _"It is time for me to leave now. I wish you both well."_ Elliot said suddenly.

Brian and Justin watched as Elliot's form dissipitate into fog, and then clear.

Justin turned and buried himself in Brian's embrace.

"Tell me everything's going to be all right." Justin said, his tears soaked into Brian's shirt.

Brian held him tight, and hugged him fiercely.

"I promise to always protect you Sunshine. If you believe nothing else, believe that. Nothing matters except you and our children. Nothing. I won't let anything harm you, ever again." Brian said.

The vow was meant to ease Justin's fears, but it didn't.

Justin squeezed Brian to him, deathly afraid of what was to come. He knew, in his heart, that something bad, very bad, lurked around the corner. A dark storm was heading their way and for the first time he doubted whether or not he and Brian could survive the tornado that was about to turn their world, once again, upside down.


	23. Pattern of Deceit

**"It takes years  
to build up trust, and it only takes   
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it."**

 **~~~A life lesson of mine...**

 

Justin sat in the dark brown leather chair in Giles office and wondered, not for the first time, if he was making one rash decision to many this time.

He'd always been impulsive; it was just his nature. Brian often remarked on how that particular part of his personality got him into more trouble over the years than was warranted. And he was right. You'd think he would learn to curb that ‘act first, think later' knee jerk reactionary behavior after all these years, but obviously, he hadn't. Proof positive was this impromptu visit.

 _‘Well it's his fault! Does he expect me to sit around and do nothing?!'_ He rationalized to himself. It had been three days since Brian and he talked. Oh, there was a lot of screaming and fighting, but no real talking.

"Damn fucking curse!" Justin muttered under his breath to the empty room.

Just three days ago, life, though not ‘normal', by any means, was still bearable. As long as he and Brian were together, there was nothing they couldn't over come, including the curse. Justin believed that with all his heart, he still believed it, however presently Brian wasn't being cooperative in the ‘staying together' department of their relationship.

He moved out of the Chateau last night.

 

Justin shifted in his chair, agitated, as his mind drifted back to the events of the last 72 hours that led him to his current, uncomfortable, position.

Last Wednesday, after their remarkable encounter with the spirit, Elliot, they had driven back to the Chateau to talk to Andy about his visit with the demon minion Joffith that Elliot had warned them about.

Apparently Elliot's definition of ‘fine' was far different from theirs. Andy was anything but fine.

Upon arrival, they were informed that Andy, or rather, ‘Jason', was found in the garden, half out of his mind screaming. Rena had to give him a sedative, which only lasted about 20 minutes before ‘Jason' got up and started packing his bags.

Lizzy was beside herself; ‘Jason' refused to talk to her, or anyone else. Justin and Brian knew Andy's behavior was the result of his encounter with the demon spirit but couldn't divulge that information to the family. All the family knew was that ‘Jason' was having some sort of nervous breakdown.

Brian ran up to Andy's room and slammed the door behind him, refusing to let anyone in, including Justin.

Two hours later they emerged, bags in hand, and left for the cabin. Brian informed the family that ‘Jason' would be spending a few days at the cabin for some R&R.

Justin remained at the Chateau and tried to keep the family calm over the recent developments. Everyone was confused, and the twins were feeling the emotional turmoil within the family. Rena, God bless her, helped Justin bring some normality back into the house. She managed to keep Lizzy calm, while Justin, along with Emmett, engaged the children in making cookies for their Dad's return.

It helped that Rena knew it was her brother who occupied ‘Jason's' body, and Justin suspected, that Emmett knew it too. He kept giving Justin a ‘knowing' look all evening. At one point he even remarked that ‘Jason' just wasn't himself, but he was sure in time, he would be back to normal.

The evening passed pleasantly enough, considering the circumstances. The children were put to bed, and Justin retired to his room to wait for Brian's return.

Brian strolled in around two a.m. Justin could smell the liquor on his breath. He let it pass though and immediately grilled him on what the demon Joffith said to Andy. His questions were met with silence. Brian refused to talk to him about Andy, or anything else. No matter what Justin said, or did, Brian shut him out. He tried to remind his partner of ten years, of all they've been through, and of the fact that the only time they overcame their hardships, was when they did it together. Still, Brian insisted that this was one situation that they weren't going to handle together. He declared he was going to handle it on his own.

Needless to say, that night neither of them got any sleep. They fought most the time. Justin pulled out every fucking trick he learned from the Kinney manual to get Brian to open up to him and was debunked at every turn. In all his time he's known Brian, he never felt this isolated from him. Even in the beginning, when he was stalking Brian at the tender age of 17, and Brian mercilessly pushed him away time and time again, there was a small part of him that was vulnerable to Justin's advances. Justin was searching deep to find that vulnerable spot again, but it appeared Brian had all his shields up and Justin couldn't penetrate it.

The next day came and Justin decided to give Brian some space. He took the kids to the Gallery, and then to the city for some lunch and sight seeing. Brian stayed back at the Chateau claiming he had work.

When they got back from their excursion, Justin was informed that Brian left the moment Justin left with the kids and hasn't returned since. Again, the family spent the night without Brian. They watched a movie, put together a puzzle of the Eiffel tower, and then it was time to put the kids to bed. Once again, Justin waited up for Brian to return.

It was round two of the night before. Their fight could have been scripted, that's how parallel it was. It ended with Brian sleeping downstairs on the couch, and Justin crying himself to sleep.

The next morning Brian announced to the family he was going away for a few days on business. He told Justin privately he was moving in with Andy at the cabin, should there be an emergency, that's where he could be reached. Justin just shook his head and turned his back on Brian. What else could he do? He knew Brian well enough to know that when he made his mind up about something, there was nothing he could do to change it. At times like that, all Justin could do was make his own plans. And that's precisely what he was doing now.

He knew that whatever it was between Brian and Andy, it had to do with the curse, and for some reason, they were keeping Justin in the dark. He knew in his heart Brian was shutting him out to protect him, and when Brian got in protective mode, there was nothing Justin could do to stop him. Sooner or later, Justin would find out what Brian was ‘supposedly' trying to protect him from. But for now it was out of his control. What was in his control however, was the situation with Adeline.

He may not be able to help Brian with the curse, but the one thing he could do was deal with Adeline on his own. It would be one less thing for Brian to worry about, or more accurately, take control of. Justin wasn't about to let him take control over the ‘Adeline' situation too. He knew Brian would be furious with him for making this decision on his own, but hey, what's good for the goose...

They should be handling their problems together, but Brian was making that impossible with his refusal to involve him in his plans. In Justin's mind, that left him with no choice.

 

The door squeaked open, jarring Justin from his thoughts.

Justin turned to see Giles entering the office. He rose to greet him.

"Thank you so much for granting me this visit on such short notice. I hope it isn't too much of an inconvenience." Justin said.

Giles shook his outstretched hand.

"Not at all. I have to confess however, I was a little surprised by your request." Giles said.

Justin nodded, understanding Giles position. Adeline was his patient, and it was his job to care for and protect his patient. He had no idea why Justin called him out of the blue this afternoon requesting to see her today, after not even inquiring about her for over a week now.

"I understand completely your concern, but I assure you, I have no intention of causing her any distress." Justin said.

Giles looked at him oddly.

"That thought never crossed my mind. I'm just taken by surprise by your sudden change of heart. Your partner, Mr. Kinney, told me this morning that you wouldn't be visiting her anytime soon." Giles said.

Now it was Justin's turn to look surprised.

"Brian was here this morning?" He asked.

"Oh yes, he and that young fellow, Jason were in earlier for a visit. I asked where you were and Mr. Kinney told me you were still recovering and that he just wanted to make sure Adeline was faring well considering her condition." Giles explained.

Justin's heart slammed in his chest. Brian was here!

"Wait a minute, are you saying Brian came to visit Adeline?" Justin repeated, his mind not wrapping around what the implications of Brian visiting Adeline were.

"Yes, this morning. Just a few hours ago. He was quite concerned about her. He said that you and he talked about your options, and he wanted to talk to Adeline about her feelings on the situation. He said that your feelings were still too raw at the moment, and he thought it best if he broached the subject first. I granted his request because she has been doing remarkably well. We have her on medication that seems to be working. Oh, and don't worry, I've got her on a low enough dosage so it won't affect the fetus if she decides to go full term. But if you two come to the conclusion that you want to end this pregnancy, then it's best to discuss that option now, while she's still in her first trimester. That's why I granted Mr. Kinney's request." Giles explained.

Justin was shocked at the duplicity of Brian's actions. He gritted his teeth and silently fumed.

"Excuse me doctor, but don't you think I should have been notified? She's carrying my baby after all, not Mr. Kinney's." Justin all but growled out.

"I'm sorry if my granting Mr. Kinney a visit upsets you, but I am under no obligation to inform you of any visitors she may have. You're not her husband." Giles gently scolded Justin.

Justin pulled his lips in tight to prevent him from saying something that would only anger Giles, and jeopardize his chances of seeing Adeline today. There was no way he was going to leave without hearing what Brian had to say to her.

"No you're right, I'm sorry. I'm just a little surprised at my partner. He's been a bit over protective of me lately. I can assure you however, that my feelings are not still raw, as he put it, over the situation. I'd like to talk to Adeline myself, if you don't mind. About our baby's future." Justin put the last part in for emphasis.

Giles nodded his head in consent and Justin felt a breath of relieved air escape his lungs.

"I understand how difficult this must be for you. And I understand your concern. I haven't had a chance to talk to Adeline since her visit with Mr. Kinney, but I assume it went well. If it didn't, I'm sure one of the nurses would have told me." Giles said reassuringly.

Justin was anything but reassured, but kept that opinion to himself.

Giles buzzed the nurse in to escort Justin to Adeline's room. Lunch was over, and usually at this time the patients went back to their room to rest, or read quietly.

Justin thanked Giles and followed the nurse. She took him up to the third floor and down the corridor to their right. Three doors down, she stopped to face Justin.

"This is her room." She said, and then gently rapped on the door before leaving Justin there to be received.

Justin waited. No response. He lifted his hand and knocked again on the door with the back of his knuckles, only this time, the door opened a bit.

Justin pushed the door open wider and peaked inside. He could see the form of Adeline's body as she lay on the small bed. Her back was to him and she was curled up in a fetal position.

He slowly walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Adeline?" He called out softly.

Adeline's back stiffened at the sound of his voice.

"Go away. I already agreed. What more do you want?" She asked in a voice devoid of emotion.

Justin furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Adeline, I've no idea what you're talking about." Justin said.

Adeline shifted over to her other side to face Justin. Justin was shocked at the anger, and hurt he saw in her eyes.

"I'm talking about you sending your boyfriend to do your dirty work! Coward!" She screeched at him.

Justin's eyes widened at her words.

"I did NOT send Brian here. I just found out he was here a moment ago. And what dirty work are you talking about?" Justin asked confused though it didn't pass his notice that Adeline had accepted he wasn't Jacques. She acknowledged Brian as his boyfriend. Giles was right, she had made progress.

Adeline slowly sat up in the bed and glared at Justin.

"Well, according to him, and that vile boy he brought with him, they're saving me." Adeline said, sarcasm dripping heavy in her words.

"From what?" Justin asked, growing more and more alarmed by the minute.

"From going to prison. That boy Jason told me that he was going to press charges against me for drugging him without his consent. He told me he talked to the DA and was told that they would charge me with illegal production of controlled substances and for practicing medicine without a license. He told me I could get 20 years! If he pressed charges and testified. And he assured me he would do just that, if I didn't...." Adeline's voice was all choked up and she couldn't finish her sentence.

Justin looked at her, stunned. He couldn't believe Andy would do that! Why?

He went over and sat on the bed next to Adeline, but did not attempt to hold her. He simply put a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her to go on.

"If you didn't what?" He asked, fearing he already knew the answer.

"If I didn't abort the baby." She cried out, then turned and buried her face in Justin's shoulder.

Justin gathered her to him and let her cry.

So, this is what they were up to. His heart broke into a million pieces. Never, ever, did he imagine Brian would consent to such a thing. After all this time, it turns out Brian is his father's son. He, just like his father, was willing to sacrifice an innocent child to appease some long dead ancestor. History was repeating itself.

Brian knew as fragile as Adeline was, she'd never make it in prison. If she went to prison pregnant, chances were she'd lose the baby, if she didn't kill herself first. She didn't have the constitution to survive prison, and Brian knew that, and played on her fears.

He was even using his own brother to do the deed. It didn't make sense. He spent his whole life protecting Andy and Rena. He risked his own soul to save Andy's by taking his life, so Andy wouldn't have to commit the sin himself. So why would he now risk Andy's soul like this?

Justin held on to Adeline tight as she released her tears on to his shoulder and allowed himself to release some of his own. The how, he couldn't fathom, but the why, was all too obvious to Justin. Brian was doing this to protect him and their son's from the curse.

It was Andy who originally placed the curse, and they must have concluded that only Andy could break the curse. He had to be the one to cause Adeline to abort the child. By doing so, Brian believed he was saving his children and Justin from it, and for that, he was willing to risk his brothers' soul. Nothing was more important to Brian then Justin and their children. He would risk everything to protect them, including his and his brothers' soul, and his relationship with Justin. He'd risk having Justin hate him for eternity if it meant keeping him and their family safe.

 

What hurt Justin the most was that Brian had more faith in the curse, then he did in their love. Unlike Brian, Justin believed there was another way to break the curse. He believed with his whole being that killing an innocent child was not the answer. Love was the answer, but he couldn't explain that to Brian because in truth, though he knew the curse would only be broken through love, he didn't know how and Brian needed a ‘how'.

Justin felt bile rise in his throat. If only Brian had trusted him, trusted them....

Adeline hiccupped against Justin's shoulder, indicating her sobs were subsiding.

"Adeline listen to me." He said with a determined voice.

He refused to sit back idly and watch Brian destroy them and everything they've worked so hard far. With everything they've come through, Justin wasn't about to let a stupid ancient curse destroy them now. He had to stop Brian from doing something stupid that could jeopardize their future together, and as a family. And there was only one way to do that.

Justin had to go up against Brian.

Brian.

The man he loved. His soul mate. How he was going to find the strength to do it was a mystery to him, but he would find it. Going to war with the man you love, in order to keep that love alive, was a paradox he hoped the powers that be appreciated, because it was them who put them in this impossible situation Justin thought bitterly.

Adeline wiped her eyes and looked up at Justin.

"You're not aborting the baby." He said in a voice that brooked no argument.

 

"I can't go to jail Justin!" Adeline cried.

"I won't let that happen, I promise." Justin said.

Adeline looked skeptical.

"Adeline what ever happened between us, do you think I'd risk the life of my child? I know you can't go to prison; it would be the worse thing for the baby if you did. No, that's not an option. I promise you that you won't go jail." Justin vowed.

"But how? You can't stop that boy from pressing charges against me!" Adeline said.

"He said he'll drop all charges against you if you have the abortion. So all we have to do is convince him that you went through with it. Then he'll leave you alone. By the time he finds out he was duped, I'll have you taken out of the country and set up someplace nice until the baby is born." Justin said.

Adeline looked at him with hope in her eyes.

"Can we do this? I mean how are we going to make them believe I had an abortion? They're going to want proof? That boyfriend of yours is not stupid." Adeline observed.

Justin frowned. This was going to be the hardest part for him. Lying to Brian was the least of his guilt, what he was about to do next would weigh heavy on his conscious for the rest of his life. But he, like Brian, would risk anything to save their loved ones.

"I know a doctor. She'll forge the paperwork saying you had the procedure." Justin said.

Adeline let out a startled cry. She knew this man, cared for him, lived with him closely for weeks. He was not the sort of man that would use lies and deceit lightly. She felt wretched for being the cause of all this, but there was nothing to be done now. All that mattered to her was the life inside of her.

The past several days had brought Adeline to the realization that she was truly alone in the world. Her beloved Jacques was dead. But life was kind to her, this pregnancy was a blessing. It gave her hope at a chance at love again. A love eternal, one of mother and child. She had lost all hope with Mr. Kinney's visit earlier, now, Justin, this man she saved, and yes, used for her own selfish reasons, was granting her the opportunity to keep her baby. She didn't deserve his generosity, but she would not turn away from it either.

"Thank you." She said quietly

"No, thank you." Justin said.

Adeline lowered her head in shame. There was nothing to thank her for.

"Ok, I have to go now. If anyone asks what we talked about, tell them about you getting the abortion. Tell them I agreed to it. That's all they need to know. I'll take care of the rest." Justin said.

Adeline promised him she would follow his plan.

Justin left the room feeling drained, and crestfallen. He walked out of the hospital and opened his cell phone. His hand shook slightly as he dialed the number.

After several rings, the person on the other end picked up.

"Hey DJ! How's it going?" Jagger said knowing it was Justin by the incoming number displayed on his cell.

"Not so good Jag. I've got a huge favor to ask of you and Corrine." Justin said.

Jagger didn't like the sound of Justin's voice.

"Just ask. You know I'd do anything for you." Jagger said without hesitation.

"Before you commit, you should hear my request first. I'll understand if you won't do it." Justin said.

He was banking on Jagger's loyalty to him to do this favor for him, and he hated himself for using Jagger this way. Jagger and he had a special bond. One created from years of Justin dealing with Jagger's addictions. Brian was too close to Jagger; he absorbed his pain as his own. Jagger couldn't stand to see his own pain reflected back at him through Brian's eyes. Instead, he turned to Justin.

Justin was the only one Jagger let in to see his weakness. Jagger loved his Dad to death, but Justin knew his relationship with Jagger was that much more stronger then his and Brian's because of the trials they've been through together. It made him sick now to have to use that special bond to advance his cause, and put Jagger in an impossible situation. But he had no choice; he had to protect his family, and that included Jagger. Jagger was also affected by the curse, and his Dad was going about breaking it all wrong. Justin had to stop him.

"Fuck that DJ! I meant what I said. Anything." Jagger said.

Justin sighed heavily into the phone.

"I need you to convince Corrine to forge some medical papers for me." Justin said.

Jagger was silent on the other end. Justin waited, and prayed...

"Done." Jagger said finally.

"Done? Just like that? No questions asked? Jag, think about it first." Justin said, already regretting asking.

"Nothing to think about, you wouldn't ask me to do something like that unless you had no choice." Jagger said, knowing his daddy J all too well.

"You're right, I don't." Justin choked out.

Jagger heard the tears in his fathers' voice and his heart clenched.

"Where are you?" Jagger asked.

"I'm on my way back to the Chateau." Justin said.

"Where's Dad?" Jagger asked, knowing that if DJ was asking him to do this, and not his Dad, then his Dad didn't know.

"He's moved into the cabin with An...um, Jason." Justin said.

"Mother fucker! I told you...."

"NO, Jagger it's not what you think! Please, just trust me on this! And promise me you wont tell your Dad I called you!" Justin interrupted his son.

Jagger held his tongue, not wanting to upset Justin.

"Ok, fine. I promise. I've got two weeks before my next tour date. Corrine and I will fly in tomorrow. We'll figure this all out, don't worry." Jagger said.

Justin choked a sob out on the other end of the phone. Jagger's heart went out to him.

"Come on DJ, it can't be that bad. Tell me, what's this all about?" He asked.

Justin sighed deeply.

"It's about Love." He answered.

 

*******************************************************

 

"Brian, get back in the car, you're getting soaked out here." Andy said.

Brian stood at the edge of the riverbank in the torrent rain and looked over at the waters that nearly took his love's life. His body shivered slightly from the cold, and the remorse.

He turned his head to look at his brother and inwardly recoiled at what he saw in his eyes. Pain? Guilt? No, it was none of those things. It was acceptance. Acceptance of his fate, and his loss of faith. Brian couldn't bear the look. He turned away from him and continued to stare into the murky waters.

 _‘I am my brother's keeper.'_ The words rang in his head.

Right, some fucking keeper he turned out to be. He offered his own brothers soul up for his own selfish reasons. Love. If there were any curse, that surely was it. Love. It was fickle and mean and destructive.

He loved his brother so much he took his life, now he took his soul. Again, in the name of love, for the love of his children, and Justin.

He was starting to believe that "Love" was the curse. Jack loved Maria and she and her son died because of that love. He loved Justin and almost got him killed at his prom because he wanted to show him that love. He then allowed himself to love him again knowing it almost killed them both the first time and agreed to have a family with him. Since, Brian got shot and almost died trying to save Justin and Justin nearly killed himself because he was afraid Brian wouldn't come out of the coma and he couldn't stand being without his ‘love'.

 

Why did Love have to be so costly? Was it fair that he had to sacrifice one love to save another? Yet he had no choice, not if he wanted to save his sons, and Justin from the damned curse! He had to sacrifice his brothers' soul, to protect those he loved from a curse that not only took lives, but destroyed souls.

The curse itself was cast out of love. Love Alexander had for his grandmother. Love that caused him to hate those who murdered her, and hate has been rearing it's ugly head ever since, over shadowing the original love.

Yes, Love was the curse, and ironically enough, it was what was going to end the curse. Brian's love for his children, and his soul mate. He loved them enough to risk it all, his and his brothers' soul.

And through this all, Andy still had no clue that he was the one who placed the curse. He only knew what the evil spirit told him. That he had to break the curse, not Brian.

 

When he had returned to the Chateau several days ago Andy had told him about Joffith's visit. He told Brian he knew what he had to do, but he couldn't do it while being surrounded by Brian's loved one's, especially Justin. Nothing Brian could say was going to stop Andy from leaving, so Brian just let him go. He drove him to the cabin and stayed with him most the night, going over what Joffith had told him. It made sense to Brian, but his heart couldn't accept it.

It took Andy three days to convince him that only he could break the curse. On one hand he was grateful Joffith didn't tell Andy that he was the one who placed the curse, but on the other hand he was very angry and resentful that he convinced Andy that the curse could only be broken by his hand. Andy was always very intuitive. Evil spirit or not, he knew the demon was telling him the truth. Using the truth for his own nefarious purposes, undoubtedly, but the truth nonetheless.

This morning Andy came up with the plan to blackmail Adeline into having the abortion. It made Brian sick, physically and emotionally, but he aided Andy in his scheme. And it had worked. Adeline agreed to the abortion, now all he had to do was wait. Wait until Justin found out, and he'd lose the very love he sacrificed everything to save.

Life was a fucking ball buster and there was nothing to be done about it. Looking at the deep turbulent currents of the Seine, he seriously contemplated jumping in.

 

Andy watched his brothers' shoulders slump with despair. He tried to comfort himself with the knowledge that he saved his brothers' soul. He knew that Brian may lose Justin in this life, but at least he'd have a chance to meet up with his soul again in another life. He knew, having been to the other side, that love didn't end, nor did life, it just transitioned from one form of existence to another. Only God knows how long, if ever, it would take Brian's soul to find Justin's again if their souls took different paths. Justin's to the light, Brian's to the dark. It was much better this way Andy reasoned. Brian saved his soul once from eternal damnation, now it was his time to save Brian's. Though Brian believed he was going to Hell for being part of what they did, Andy knew better. He made a deal with the devil. He'd forfeit his soul, to save Brian's. Though Brian never need know about that, ever.

 _‘I am my brothers keeper.'_ The words rung in Andy's head.

Yes, he tried to consol himself with those words, yet somehow it wasn't very consoling at all. Was he being a good keeper? Or did he just make the worse mistake of his brother's life? He truly didn't know anymore. Not that it mattered. The die was cast.

"Brian, please.." he said for lack of anything else to say.

"Go back to the cabin Andy. I'll meet you there later." Brian said without turning around.

"But Brian, it's raining really hard now. You're already soaked to the bone, and it's getting cold. Please, get in the car before you get sick." Andy pleaded.

They were on their way back to the cabin from the hospital, when Brian asked Andy to pull over to the spot where Justin's car crashed into the river. He got out and walked over to the bank. He'd been standing there, in the rain, for almost an hour now.

Andy knew Brian was feeling some pretty strong emotions over what they just did. Andy however, felt none. He was incapable of feeling anything at this point. He'd done the unthinkable and did so with no regrets...no apologies. Emotions were futile at this point. He sealed his fate with his deed, but Brian, well; his brother had a chance yet in this life to secure a place in heaven.

"Jesus fucking Christ can you just leave me the fuck alone!" Brian turned and vented on his brother.

Andy was about to respond when the sound of an approaching car drew his attention away. He watched, as the headlights got closer, squinting his eyes against the rain, to get a better look. The car appeared to be slowing down, and pulling up behind theirs.

Brian's eyes followed Andy's and watched as the car stopped a few feet from theirs. The door opened and Justin got out.

Brian's heart lodged in his throat. He wasn't ready to face him.

Would he ever be ready? He wondered briefly. Well, at least he had a few more minutes of an illusionary peace. Justin didn't know yet what they had just done.

 

Justin left the hospital and steered his car, unconsciously, towards the cabin. He didn't know what he was going to say to Brian, and he didn't even want to talk to Andy, not yet, but his impulsive nature led him to Brian's doorstep. He was fuming, his mind on ripping Brian a new one, though he knew it wouldn't do any good, when he saw the car pulled off to the side of the road. He recognized it as one of the Rental's they used. As he got closer, he saw Andy standing outside he car, looking towards the riverbank. Panic struck him hard when his eyes followed the direction of Andy's gaze and he saw Brian standing on the riverbank.

He pulled up behind the parked car and jump out.

Andy saw the look on Justin's face and knew he knew.

 

"Justin.." Andy said when Justin got within hearing range.

Justin put his hand up. "Don't. I can't talk to you now." He said then walked past him, his angry stride taking him to he object of his rage.

Brian held his breath as he watched Justin approach him. He turned and faced him, ready for battle. He, like Andy, saw the look on his face and knew, he knew.

Justin stopped in front of him and panted like a racehorse that just won the Kentucky derby, that's how palpable his anger was.

They stood there like that for what seemed like an eternity, just staring at each other, before Justin found his voice.

"How could you?" He asked, his voice trembling.

Brian didn't answer.

Justin stared at him, not sure if he saw tears on Brian's face, or if it was just the rain. They were both soaked by this point; the rain was coming down harder.

"Fucking answer me!" Justin screamed.

Brian flinched at the anguish in Justin's voice.

"I did what I had to." Brian said, his eyes never leaving Justin's.

He wanted to lose himself in those baby blue orbs, to burry himself in them and never come out. He wanted to hide, to run, to make it all go away, but he couldn't do any of those things. All he could do was stand there and take in the sight of his lover, and brand it to memory for he realized that his moment might very well be the last he'd ever spend with him.

Justin laughed bitterly. Lightening flashed across the sky. Neither noticed.

"Your father would be proud." Justin bit out sarcastically.

A nerve in Brian's cheek twitched at Justin's words, but he didn't respond. Deep down, he always suspected it would come to this. He was after all, his father's son. Justin was right on that count.

"At least you had Joan to save you, who will save my child?!" Justin sobbed dejectedly.

Brian sucked in his breath as pain sliced through him.

"That was her mistake. She should have done as Jack wished, it would have all ended then." Brian said, shielding his heart against Justin's pain. He couldn't allow his heart to respond. He did what he did to protect Justin, though he knew Justin would never accept that.

"Well then if that's the case, you should have left me to die on that garage floor! It would have ended then too!" Justin screamed at him.

Brian felt like slapping him. Instead, he leaned in close, so close that his nose was practically touching Justin's.

"Don't you EVER FUCKING SAY THAT AGAIN! Do you hear me!?" Brian screamed at him.

Justin pushed him. Brian stumbled back and almost over the riverbank. Justin reached out and grabbed him before he toppled over and pulled him back so forcefully, they both fell to the ground.

"Stupid man." Justin said as he pulled himself to a sitting position on the very wet ground.

Brian grunted and sat up beside him.

"Maybe. But what's done is done." Brian said.

"And you really think by killing my child, the curse will end?" Justin asked, this time, with sincerity, and not mockery. He really wanted to know where Brian's head was at.

"I don't think it, I know it. Elliot told me." Brian said.

Justin gawked at Brian. He couldn't believe Elliot would say such a thing! A part of him knew Elliot wouldn't lie, he was a holy spirit, they didn't lie, but another part of him knew that it wasn't true. He instinctively knew killing an innocent child would not break the curse.

 _......"know thyself..."_ Elliot's advice resounded in his head.

 

"Elliot told you to kill my child?" Justin asked in disbelief.

"Not in so many words..." Brian admitted.

Elliot had told him that the curse could only be broken by Alexander's hand. He didn't want to believe it, but then Andy confirmed it with the demon minion. That meant Andy had to do the deed.

"Well then I think you better reexamine his words! You could be very wrong Brian, are you willing to risk an innocent life on an assumption?" Justin asked.

Brian shook his head. "It's not an assumption. Jesus Justin, the answer is in the curse itself! I was willing to do it, but Elliot told me that only Alexander can break the curse. And it wasn't just Elliot, Joffith told Andy the same thing." Brian said.

Justin snorted. "Now you believe demons?" He asked incredulously.

"Andy believes him, and Andy is never wrong. That's three confirmed sources. The curse itself, remember? "Until the wrong is righted again, the curse will never ever end." The answer is in the curse itself, James told us that. That information has been handed down from generation to generation on both sides. Then Elliot told me, and you heard him, that I had to allow Andy to do what he needs to do. Remember? He said for my ears only after that, and I quote, "Andy is the O'Hara Brian, it was by his hand the curse was cast, and it will by his hand it will end. Not yours." He knew what I was planning to do, and he was telling me it wouldn't work, Andy had to be the one to do it. Then Andy told me Joffith confirmed what he had to do. Kill the unborn child of the Preston line. He spelled it out for him." Brian laid it all out for Justin.

It all made perfect sense. It was logical. Justin couldn't dispute it. But his heart couldn't accept it either. Something was missing. There was something they were all over looking, what, he didn't know, but he could feel it.

He knew however, he was never going to convince Brian of that. Not with all the evidence telling him he was doing the right thing. He just had to maintain his faith, and believe that what he was doing was the right thing.

"I'm not going to forgive you for this you know." Justin said, deciding the time for arguing was over. His plans were set, let the chips fall where they may.

"I know." Brian said in a voice that pierced Justin's heart.

Justin nodded his head sadly and pushed himself up off the ground. The rain had subsided a bit. He looked over and saw Andy still standing by the car. He had yet to deal with him.

Brian stood up along side of Justin.

"What are you going to do?" Brian asked cautiously.

Justin looked over at him.

"I'm going to ask Corrine to do the procedure. I don't want some stranger doing it. At least grant me that." Justin asked. He pushed away the guilt at having just lied to Brian, and prayed Brian wouldn't see through him.

Something inside of Brian died at Justin's words. He realized in that moment, that we was hoping for Justin to save him. As irrational as that sounded, there was a part of him that was waiting, maybe still waiting, to be saved...from himself. And only Justin could do that.

"Of course." He said in a defeated voice.

Justin held his breath for a moment. Maybe...

"Brian, please..." Justin begged, trying once more to get Brian to stop this madness.

Brian stepped back, as if distancing himself from Justin. In truth he was. He knew his weakness. Justin was his weakness, he had to steel himself against his heart and remind himself why he was doing this.

"There's no other way Justin. It's done." Brian said resolutely.

Justin sighed as hope left his body.

"Very well." He said and turned to leave.

Brian watched as Justin walked away from him. His heart screaming "DON'T GO".   
Whether Justin heard him or not, he'd never know.

He watched as he passed Andy, throwing him a very disapproving look. Andy lowered his head in shame.

Then he watched as the love of life drove away from him. And out of his life, for he knew Justin meant what he said.

He'd never forgive him for this.


	24. What's Love Got To Do With It

**"True love is unconditional. It is transparent, where we can accept, understand, and allow the other person to make every mistake, falter, stumble, and give genuine heartfelt compassion when they are trying their best, even if their best can be "better."**

 **Love carries no judgement or manipulations. Love carries no ego, or the need for gratification. The ego needs forgiving, Love has no need.**

 **Love is never having to say you're sorry."**

 **~~~ Barbara Rose**

 

Justin thrashed about in his bed in the throes of a bad dream. Brian was in danger and he couldn't get to him. He was stuck in some kind of quicksand and sinking slowly.

The sheets twisted around him as he flayed wildly in his bed. Tiny beads of sweat broke out on his forehead

"Brian..." he called out in his sleep.

The dream was closing in on him, he felt suffocated. Then, just when the heavy wet sand was about to swallow him up, something, or someone rather, snatched him from his dream.

He shot up in his bed, breathing heavy and looked around the room. It was dark except for the stream of moonlight that filtered in through the window. Justin's gaze followed the beam and he jumped, startled by the small man he saw sitting on the window ledge.

 _‘Ok, I must still be dreaming.'_ His mind reasoned.

"Try again." The small man said.

Justin recognized that gravely voice, it was Elliot.

He shook his head and threw his legs over the bed.

"What are you doing here? I don't want to talk to you." Justin said angrily. He was furious with Elliot for telling Brian his child had to die in order to break the curse.

"Now is that anyway to greet me? I'm risking a lot coming here. I'm not supposed to talk to you." Elliot confessed.

Justin reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one out and lit it, taking a long pull as he did so. He'd been smoking a lot more lately.

"Why did you tell Brian to kill my child?" Justin asked bluntly releasing a cloud of smoke.

"I didn't tell him that." Elliot said.

Justin snorted.

"Sorry, let me rephrase, why did you tell Brian that Andy, or rather ‘Alexander', had to kill my child?" Justin returned.

"I never told him that either. Your soul mate hears, but doesn't listen. I told him it was by Alexander's doing only, that the curse would be broken. I mentioned nothing of killing. That was his, and apparently many of your ancestors understanding of the curse." Elliot explained.

Justin's eyes lit up with hope.

"I knew it! So how do we break the curse, tell me!" Justin said excitedly.

Elliot sighed.

"You know I'm going to get into big trouble just for being here. I can't tell you anymore than I already have. You have all the information you need, you just refuse to accept it." Elliot said.

Justin's face fell. "You talk in riddles." He said.

"Perhaps, or perhaps you listen in riddles. Humans make everything so complicated. Now you have involved your son and his mate. Reminds me of a joke, how many humans does it take to break a curse?" Elliot asked.

Justin eyed him to gage whether he was expecting an answer or not. He decided he was.

"Ok, I'll play along. How many?" He replied.

"One." He answered.

Justin's brow furrowed in confusion.

"That's the punch line?" He asked.

"Yeah, don't you think it's funny?" Elliot asked quite seriously.

Justin shook his head.

"No, it's not funny. Funny is, how many electricians does it take to change a light bulb."

"How many?" Elliot quickly responded, liking this game.

"Ten. One to hold the bulb, and nine to turn the ladder." Justin answered.

Elliot squished his face up.

"That doesn't make sense. Why exert all that effort when all you really need is one man to screw the bulb into the socket?" He asked.

Justin let out an exasperated sound.

"Never mind, you obviously don't get the concept of Human humor." Justin said.

"Well I'm working on it. But your joke is no different than mine." Elliot said.

"Um, yeah..it is." Justin answered condescendingly.

"No, it's not. The answer to both is one." Elliot said.

Justin studied him for a moment. He was right; the answer to both was one. What was he trying to tell him?

"It only takes one to change a light bulb, and it only takes one to break the curse. In both cases, a lot of people are doing a lot of unnecessary work." Elliot said.

"What are you saying Elliot? For God sakes just speak in plain English for once!" Justin said frustrated.

"I am speaking English, that is your first language, isn't it?" Elliot asked.

Justin let out a frustrated groan.

"I mean, no more riddles, just tell me what you mean." Justin said.

Elliot looked at him oddly.

"I thought I was being clear, obviously I'm not. Ok, at the risk of some serious wrath from one very powerful Angel, I'll tell you this much. Both you and your soul mate are working against each other. You're each recruiting people to do work that is counter productive. Neither you, nor Brian can break this curse. Your efforts are futile. Again, only Alexander can break the curse. The curse will be broken by his doing." Elliot said.

"I know, I know. Well here's a news flash for you, he thinks by forcing Adeline to abort my child that WILL break the curse!" Justin said frustrated.

Elliot shook his head in disappointment.

"You really don't listen, do you?" He said.

Justin got out of bed, put his cigarette out and threw his hands up.

"Ok, I don't fucking get it! Andy is forcing Adeline to kill my child because he is convinced that it's the only way to break the curse. And you just said the curse will be broken by his doing! Well that's what he's doing!" Justin all but yelled at Elliot.

"I never said that." Elliot stated.

Justin shook his head, took a deep breath and mulled Elliot's words over in his head. What was he missing?

Alexander is the only one who can break the curse. Ok, that much is clear. Andy is Alexander...

"Is he?" Elliot interrupted Justin's thoughts.

Justin's eyes snapped open wide at Elliot's insinuation.

"Isn't he? Brian told me Andy's visions are never wrong. Andy had a vision of being Alexander O'Hara in a past life. Are you saying he wasn't?" Justin asked, excited that he might be getting close to solving the puzzle.

"His soul occupied Alexander's body. That is true. But the trinity of man is not spirit alone. It is mind, body and spirit that coexist together. The soul was once in Alexander's mind, and body. It now resides in Andy's mind and body. Well a body which was loaned to him, another complication courtesy of one busy body Angel who was too impatient to wait another century." Elliot said gravely shaking his head.

A thunderous roar sounded off in the distance.

"Um, sorry boss." Elliot said sheepishly.

"Elliot you're confusing me!" Justin said.

Elliot sighed in defeat, as if accepting his fate for interfering.

"In for a penny, in for a pound as they say..." He said shrugging his shoulders before continuing.

"Anyway, both Alexander and Andy share the same soul, but it is not the soul who is making these decisions. It is the thoughts of your partner and the actions of his brother. Yet their efforts are for naught. As are your efforts. Saving the child from death will not break the curse either. The curse was conjured up with the power of the spirit. A power most humans lack. Alexander however, was gifted with the ability to tap into this power. There is no tangible expression of the power of the spirit. It has no size, weight, color, taste or smell. It is however as real as knowledge and love. All that humans are, all that they do, are owed to the power of the spirit. In his grief, Alexander abused his gift and the results were so devastating, all memory of that deed was erased. I told you and your soul mate before, but you refused to listen. The soul MUST remember! Only then, can the wrong, be righted." Elliot said.

Justin flopped down onto the bed stunned by Elliot's revelation.

"Are you saying all Andy has to do is get his soul to remember who he was, and what he did, then the curse can be broken?" Justin asked, starting to understand.

"Ah, so you are starting to understand! Good. But remembering is the key, not the solution. To right the wrong and end the curse the soul must be rejoined. Lock and key must converge to open, and release the curse." Elliot said.

Justin huffed.

"Again with the fucking riddles! If Alexander's soul is the key, who is the lock?" He asked.

Elliot laughed.

"You'll figure it out. It's nice to see you're not concerned about using obscenities in front of a holy spirit anymore." He said cheekily.

Justin threw him a sideward, almost ominous, glance.

"After all the stress you've put me through? Be happy I'm only cursing in front of you, and not at you." He said rebelliously.

Elliot laughed.

"Well my impetuous human friend, I've done enough damage for one night. I hope you take what you now know, and put it to good use. No doubt I'll pay a heavy penance for interfering as I have. Don't make it for naught. Stay faithful, be true to yourself, and you will be triumphant." Elliot said.

The holy spirit then lifted his hand in a parting gesture.

"Elliot wait! One question...Please.." Justin called after him before he started to fade away.

"I've already answered too many." Elliot said.

"I just want to know why?" Justin asked.

Elliot squinted his already very squinty eyes.

"Why what?"

"Why did you risk coming here to help me?" Justin asked.

Elliot smiled at him.

"We spirits, just like the Angels, have our favorites. When you boldly stood up to me defending your soul mate, I was smitten. I've never seen such courage from such a young soul. I'd hate to not have the pleasure of your company when your time comes. Keep thinking so narrowly, and you and your soul mate might not make it to my world. And trust me, you won't like the underworld. It's a bitch on the complexion, and the boss is an ass." Elliot said tongue in cheek.

Justin laughed.

"I bet." Justin replied sheepishly.

Elliot nodded his head and started to fade.

"Thank you..." Justin called out to the now dark, empty room.

 _....‘You're welcome...And remember...know thyself...'_ Elliot's voice echoed through the room.

Justin let out a deep breath once Elliot was gone and walked over to the window where he had sat and looked out over the gardens. There was a magical beauty to them at night, under the moonlight. It was comforting. For the first time since this whole mess began, Justin felt like he was finally on the right track. All he had to do now, was get Brian back on track as well.

He walked back to his bed and picked his cell phone up from the nightstand. It was late, but he knew he'd be up. He dialed.

"Fuck! Do you know what time it is? What happened?" Jagger's frantic voice came over the line.

"Nothing and everything. Jagger, I called to say I love you." Justin said.

"Um, ok. I love you too DJ. Are you drunk?" Jagger asked.

Justin laughed.

"No. I just want you to know I'm aware of the enormous burden I put on you, and how readily you took it on. I'm humbled by your love and loyalty. If I'd been thinking more with my heart, I never would have put you and Corrine in such a position." Justin said.

Jagger was confused by this call. He and Corrine were set to fly in to Paris tomorrow to talk about how Corrine was going to accomplish this feat without losing her license.

Justin had filled Jagger in on what he wanted Corrine to do, and Corrine was sympathetic to Justin's request. It didn't sit well with her that a woman was being forced to abort her child. They agreed she would help Justin out; they just needed to figure out how she could do it without losing her job.

"DJ, I told you, it's not a problem. We want to help! What Dad is doing is wrong." Jagger said.

"Yes, it is. But what I was doing is just as wrong. I don't want Corrine to stop this abortion." Justin said.

Jagger actually gasped over the phone.

"Are you saying you want Adeline to have the abortion?" Jagger asked stunned.

"No. I'm saying I don't believe the abortion will happen." Justin said.

"I'm confused. Did Dad agree to back off?" Jagger asked.

"No. He still insisting it's the only way to break our family curse. He's not going to back down." Justin said.

"Did Adeline refuse then? She's willing to go to prison?" Jagger pressed.

"No, Adeline won't survive a week in prison. She's not going to back out either." Justin said.

"Well fuck I'm confused as hell now! If that's the case, then why do you think the abortion is not going to happen?" Jagger asked.

"Because I'm back on track." Justin said.

"Huh? DJ, you are drunk!" Jagger asked again.

Justin laughed.

"No, not drunk, revived. I know now that there is another way to break the curse." Justin said.

"Fuck! That's great! Dad will be thrilled! You know he must be hating himself big time right now." Jagger said.

Justin sighed.

"I know. This is killing him. But I'm going to make it better. I promise. I just wanted to tell you thank you. You have no idea what it means to me that you were willing to risk losing the trust of both the woman you love, and your Dad, for me." Justin said, emotion thick in his voice.

"I trust you completely DJ. Always have, always will." Jagger said.

Justin held the phone close to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut tight against the tears that were threatening to spill over. He was glad he was able to maintain that trust by coming to his senses before it was too late. And he had one very special spirit to thank for that.

"So, you still flying in tomorrow?" Justin asked clearing his voice.

"Sure, we'd love to see you guys." Jagger said.

"Good, then I'll see you tomorrow. Night Jag, and thanks." Justin said.

Jagger laughed.

"Go sleep it off DJ. I'll see you tomorrow." Jagger said then hung up.

Justin ended the call with a smile on his face. He was glad Jagger was flying in tomorrow. Brian could use all his family around him right now.

Just as that thought crossed his mind his cell rang.

Justin's heart lurched when he saw the incoming number. He flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Justin..." The tormented voice rasped.

"I know, hold on, I'm coming." Justin said.

He threw on a pair of pants and shirt and headed out the door, his heart pounding heavy.

Brian didn't need to say anything else. Justin heard it all in the way he said his name. He needed him. Justin cursed himself for his own stubbornness. Brian was drowning.. He told Justin as much earlier when they parted at the riverbank, but Justin was too consumed in his own pain, and making his own plans, that he didn't listen.

Well he was listening now. His love needed saving and Justin was the only one who could do it. And save himself in the process.

Images of his dream came rushing back to him as he drove up to the cabin. He didn't understand it's meaning before. It didn't make sense. Nothing, not even quicksand could stop him from saving his soul mate. But now, he understood it's meaning all too clearly. The reason why he couldn't get out of the quicksand to save Brian in his dream was because Brian was in the quicksand with him! They were both being devoured by a force stronger then them, as individuals, but not stronger then their love combined.

They would crawl out of that pit of despair and hopelessness together, one rung at a time through love. He and Brian had survived much in their time together because of their love. A love that feels no burden thinks nothing of trouble and pleads no excuse of impossibility.

Justin felt that love the first time he ever laid eyes on Brian. He told Daphne as much when he told her he'd just seen the face of God. He didn't understand the wisdom of his words back then, but he did now.

God was love, and looking into Brian Kinney's eyes was looking into the face of Love.

 

***************************************

 

Brian was burning up.

His body and mind was trapped in a ring of fiery desire that burned hotter than any torch or flame could.

He kept walking mindlessly towards the source of the fire that was burning his very core. He was too drunk to drive, not that he wouldn't have anyway, but Andy hid the keys from him. So he took off on foot.

 _‘Like a moth to a flame.'_

Justin was the flame that was scorching his soul and just like the moth, he was helpless to its allure.

Again, love was to blame for this. Love is what caused him to make that desperate call to Justin. And it was love that was keeping him standing, and walking, when he should be passed out. It was out of his control, he couldn't bear the pain any longer. He had to see Justin, and he couldn't just sit around and wait for him to come to him.

He cursed himself for his weakness.

His mind screamed _‘let him go..'_ but his heart and body couldn't do it.

Watching Justin walk away from him earlier ripped his heart out.

 _"You know I'll never forgive you for this..."_ His words echoed in his head for the thousandth time.

How Brian managed to stay rooted and not run after him was still a mystery to him. He barely remembered Andy taking him back to the cabin, or the massive amount of alcohol he'd consumed since. All he did remember were those soul-rending words...

 _"You know I'll never forgive you for this..."_

On a purely intellectual level, he expected as much. He even accepted the certainty of it knowing that it was a price he was willing to pay to keep his family safe. However, having heard the words come out of his loves mouth he realized he couldn't accept it.

He needed Justin's forgiveness. He needed to touch him, to see him. He needed to look into his eyes and know he was forgiven, even as his mind rationalized that was never going to happen, but he was beyond reason at this point. He was consumed with his need.

The alcohol was taking its' toll on him. His feet felt like lead, each step was more burdensome then the last. Still, he wouldn't give up. He couldn't give up. His body was spent, he was functioning on pure will alone but his strength was fading. He stumbled and fell.

The ground rose up to meet him with sickening speed. One knee hit the dirt while the other stayed bent in an attempt to keep him from sprawling out, face first on to the ground, but he lost that battle.

Blackness descended on him as his body collapsed onto the ground. The last thought he had was a plea. A plea to a God he'd lost faith in. A God he blamed for his current misery. But as the saying goes, there are no atheists in a foxhole, and Brian was deep in a hole right now. He had no one to turn to, so he called out to his maker and pleaded.

"God take my life, my soul, do what you will with it, I ask not your forgiveness, but please grant me his....."

 

'.......The ego needs forgiving, love has no need.........'

 

Even in his unconscious state, Brian heard the words, and his soul immediately accepted them as truth.

 

 

Justin swerved the car off the road when he spotted the prone body lying in the middle of it. He didn't have to see who it was to know.

Once the car skidded to a halt, he jumped out and ran to Brian, praying he wasn't too late.

He reached his side and fell to his knees, picking Brian's head up off the ground and cradling it in his lap. He ran his hands over his face and neck and checked for a pulse.

It was there, and it was strong. Justin sighed in relief.

"Brian, wake up!" Justin yelled.

Brian's eyes fluttered open.

"Sunshine..." he breathed.

Justin jerked his head back at the strong smell of alcohol on his breath.

"Jesus Brian how much did you drink?" He asked, a note of censure in his voice.

"Obviously too much." Brian said. His head lolled back on Justin's lap.

"Fuck! Brian you have to help me get you up and into the car. You're dead weight right now, I won't be able to lift you on my own." Justin said.

He threw Brian's arm around his neck and tried to help him to his feet.

"Justin wait..." Brian said.

Justin stilled and looked into Brian's eyes. He was a little stunned by what he saw through the drunken haze. There was an awareness there. One he couldn't decipher.

"What is it?" Justin asked.

"I just want you to know I don't need your forgiveness." He said.

Justin's first reaction was anger, but the look in Brian's eyes prompted him to reserve judgment.

"Oh? And why not?" He asked with a smirk.

"Because I have your love." He said.

Justin's heart swelled. Brian got it. Not that he didn't know it before. He always knew he had Justin's love, but what he didn't realize before, nor did Justin, was how truly powerful their love was.

Their love was unconditional. It was transparent where each accepted, understood and allowed the other to make every mistake, falter, stumble and give genuine compassion knowing each were trying their best, even if their best could be better. Their love had no need for ego gratification; it was deep, pure and eternal.

Yes, they knew this, but sometimes the winds of fate were harsh and it blew them off track making them forget who they were.

 _‘.......remembering is the key....know thyself.....'_

Elliot's words were starting to make more and more sense.

 

"Well, let's not forget that again, ok?" Justin said smiling one of his million watt smiles.

Brian laughed. "I'll try not to. But I am sorry." He said.

Justin furrowed his brow.

"What for?" Justin asked.

"For drinking so much I can't fuck you into oblivion right now." Brian said.

Justin laughed.

"Well it's good to know you have your priorities straight." Justin teased.

"Don't I always?" Brian said with a lopsided grin.

"Well stud, if you have any hope of fucking me tonight I suggest you haul your ass up so we can start sobering you up because my number one priority is having you inside of me before the night is over. And we wouldn't want to fuck with our priorities now, would we?" Justin asked.

It was all the incentive Brian needed. He grabbed onto Justin and pulled himself up to his feet.

Shakily, he let Justin guide him to the car.

"You know Sunshine, considering all the shit going down around us, some would say our priorities are a bit skewed." Brian commented as Justin helped him into the car.

"Yeah, some would say a lot of things about us. Know what I say?" Justin asked.

Brian looked up into his blondes beautiful blue eyes and his body instantly responded to the lust he saw in them.

"No, tell me Sunshine..." Brian whispered sexily.

Justin leaned in and brushed his lips against Brian's.

 

"Fuck 'em...But me first."


	25. Finding Alexander

**That boy is gone  
Sometimes I miss the way he wept at night  
To be still and not run  
To be rocked to sleep in your light  
These days there is not much that will bring tears to my eyes  
But when I remember who I am and who you are  
When I remember  
A cloud moves in, rain falls, thunder strikes, and sunshine breaks through the  
clouds**

 **"I Remember When" By Blindside**

 

Joffith watched the brutal attack with heinous craved eyes. Foul spittle drooled down his chin in ravenous anticipation.

"Mine..." his evil thoughts spilled out around him.

"Cocky little fiend aren't you?" Elliot voiced from behind him.

Joffith turned around quickly and backed up, raising his bony arm over his eyes to shield himself from the eternal light emanating from the Angel's agent.

"Go away! You've no power over me here, this is my Lords domain!" Joffith protested.

"And yet here I stand. Ah, the irony." Elliot smiled at the demon minion.

"State your purpose then leave!" Joffith ordered in a panicked voice.

Elliot looked over at the violence being perpetrated behind Joffith and frowned. Humans...such potential, he mused. Unfortunately for both good and evil. The vile act being committed before him was an example of the latter.

"Did you influence this?" Elliot asked.

Joffith grew more anxious. His kind never fared well against an Angel's agent.

"I've nothing to do with this. The human acts on his own free will!" Joffith insisted.

"If you had a hand in this, you know you forfeit his soul." Elliot reminded Joffith.

"I know the rules! I no need to coerce humans into acts of violence." Joffith said grinning wickedly.

"They have become quite adept at it." Joffith said.

Elliot couldn't argue with him.

"Well then, it looks like soon, you'll have your bounty." Elliot said contemptuously. The perpetrator was going in for the kill; only he didn't see the knife his victim held in her hand.

"Yesss..." Joffith hissed confidently.

Elliot bristled at Joffith's jubilance.

 

"Soon." He repeated flippantly.

"But not today." He added smugly.

 

Just as the victim pulled her knife, and was ready to plunge it into her attackers' heart, Elliot flooded her with compassion. She brought the knife up from his heart, to his throat and held it against his skin tightly, drawing a thin line of blood from him.

She then screamed. The screamed alerted some nearby pedestrians and her attacker was apprehended.

Elliot was pleased with himself for spoiling the demon minions' intentions, but it was a bitter sweet victory. Actions like the one he just taken was precisely why he hadn't earned his wings yet. He never could just let things be. He shouldn't even be here, but following rules was never a strong point of his. Though his intentions were always good, that saying about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions was unfortunately a prophecy being fulfilled in his case. Still... He couldn't just stand by and let Joffith take another soul.

 

"That's not fair! He was mine!" Joffith griped throwing Elliot an accusing glare.

Elliot shrugged.

"Oh well, you win some, you lose some." He said dismissively.

"Now he has a chance to redeem himself." Elliot said as he watched the human being dragged away by an officer of the Law.

Joffith laughed evilly.

"Stupid fool. Your optimism is naïve. The sow will be mine." Joffith declared.

"Perhaps, but like I said, not today." Elliot returned.

"Why are you here?!" Joffith screeched impatiently. He had a quota to keep, and he was already behind without having the Angel's agent stealing from him.

"I'm here to tell you to back off from my Lord's ward." Elliot said getting down to business.

"Why should I? Your Lord knew his ward was fair game once he put him back on earth in human form. Besides you are too late. He has pledged his soul to me." Joffith said.

"Under false pretenses." Elliot said.

"I did not lie to him. I told him the truth." Joffith defended.

"You also told him to kill the child, insinuating that if he did, the curse would be broken and his brother's soul would be saved. That's called coercion Joffith, and you know very well that's makes any bargain you made with him null and void. His soul is still up for grabs, and the Angel Gabriel has a great fondness for this one." Elliot stated.

"Yeah well so does my Lord! He wants his soul. No matter if I coerced him or not, if he commits the sin, his soul is ours and there is nothing you can do about it! Besides, you have no power over me. You cannot stop me from contacting him again." Joffith said with more bravado than he was actually feeling.

Elliot sidled up to him, shielding himself against the foulness radiating off the evil creature, as he got closer. Joffith backed away instinctively.

"Do not underestimate me Joffith. If you go near him again, I swear on all that is Holy that I will make it my mission, no make that my passion, to thwart every attempt you ever make again at claiming another soul. You will no longer be useful to the underworld if you cannot supply them with fallen souls. You'll be cast out of Hell and sent back to earth for eternity, never being granted back into Hell, or into Heaven. Your existence will be a never ending cycle of human suffrage." Elliot threatened ominously.

Joffith recoiled at Elliot's words. He knew he wasn't bluffing. Elliot's reputation preceded him. He did not make idle threats. He meant every word he said.

"You may be able to stop me, but you can't stop him! The destiny of his soul is in his hands!" Joffith jeered triumphantly.

Elliot nodded in agreement. He couldn't stop the soul from choosing its path, but he had faith that left alone, the soul would choose wisely.

"And you'll do well to remember that. It is his choice. Try to interfere again, and I'll make good on my vow." Elliot warned then turned to leave, bringing an end to the conversation.

"You will lose this one Elliot!" Joffith called out to Elliot's retreating form.

Elliot kept going, not looking back

"That soul already has one strike against it; else it would be in Heaven, and not on earth trying to redeem itself. Your Angel's attempt to save it is futile. He's already got one foot in Hell. He will be mine when all is said and done!" Joffith declared maliciously.

A moment of doubt entered Elliot's soul as he ascended to his heavenly realm. ‘Perhaps the demons spawn is right.' He thought upon hearing Joffiths dire prediction, and then quickly chastised himself.

The soul could not fail. He not only had a powerful Angel looking out for him from up above, he had two of the most compassionate, loving souls Elliot had ever encountered looking out for him on earth.

Left alone he was sure the soul would make the right decision. He just had to make sure Joffith stayed away from him. Though he meant what he said, Joffith considered the ‘prize' in question too valuable not to take the risk. He knew Joffith would find a way to interfere again, perhaps not directly, but by employing the help of another of his kind.

With those troubling thoughts in mind, Elliot turned his attention back to earth. For now, all he could do is watch closely, and stand by should his services be needed again. Wings be damned, he was not about to let Joffith win this one. He had a personal stake in it. He would do whatever necessary, sanctioned or not, to prevent that demon spawn from claiming the soul of Alexander O'Hara.

 

**********************************************************

 

"Grrrrrrrhhhh..."

Brian pushed deeper into Justin educing yet another deep guttural groan from him.

"Mine..." He breathed heavily as he glided his palm down Justin's sweat covered spine. He grasped a fist full of blonde locks tightly with his other hand and lowered his forehead to rest in-between Justin's shoulder blades.

Lifting his hips back, he pulled out slowly, and then just as slowly pushed forward again.

Justin let out a little cry followed by a deep intake of breath.

"Yesss..." He grounded out through gritted teeth communicating the exquisite feeling of pain and pleasure Brian was infusing him with.

Brian turned his head and bit down on Justin's shoulder sharply. He then released the abused flesh and licked the mark he had left.

Justin was a mound of quivering flesh. He and Brian had been at it for hours now. It had to be close to noon though he had no idea what time it was in the small room in the cabin. The windows were closed, the shades pulled down tight. It was stifling hot in the small space yet neither cared.

Justin was amazed at Brian's stamina. Just last night he could barely walk he was so drunk, yet here they were, several hours later fucking for the fourth time since they got to the cabin with a fervor that quite frankly astonished Justin. Not that he was complaining. He loved these long fuck sessions. They were always ‘cleansing' and cathartic for them.

No matter what shit was going on in their lives; a fuck session like this cleared their heads, so to speak, liberating them from the stress of what ever problem was plaguing them at the time.

"Ooooohh..." Justin moaned deeply as all thoughts flew from his head at the feel of Brian's hand reaching around to grab his cock.

"You know what I like best about fucking you?" Brian growled the question huskily into Justin's ear.

Justin answered by expelling a soft mewling sound as he pushed his face into the mattress.

Brian laughed and continued to fuck him, and stroke his cock in perfect rhythm.

 

"That..." He answered for him.

Justin wanted to ask him what ‘that' was, but he really could give a fuck right now. He just wanted Brian to keep on fucking and stroking him. But he knew he wasn't going to be able to just leisurely lay there and greedily accept the pleasure Brian was giving him, oh no, Brian was going to torture him first.

He mentally groaned at the knowledge, though he wasn't sure if it was a groan of ‘yes...make me work for it...' or ‘...Oh God no...I can't stand anymore...' Not that it mattered, he didn't have a choice. He felt it in Brian's body, in his movements, and in his words. Brian was going to make him work for this one. Well, not unless he took control of the situation.......

Justin turned his head to the side and pushed back against Brian, taking more of him in.

Brian had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from coming.

"Oh no you don't Sunshine, not yet.." Brian rasped out almost painfully.

Justin was insistent though and pushed back harder, reaching around with his arm and grabbing Brian's hip preventing him from pulling out.

"Fuck!!!" Brian cursed as his body almost betrayed him.

Justin took advantage of Brian's near orgasmic state and squeezed down on his cock.

"Arrraagggggggghhhhh." Brian screamed out his frustration.

His blonde wasn't playing fair. He wanted to hold out, to bring his lover to the brink, then take him back again; sending him on a torturous, yet exotic journey, but Justin was turning the tables on him, knowing his ploy.

Brian used every ounce of energy he had left not to cum, which wasn't easy. He had to resort to thinking about pussy to get his balls to loosen up; they were about to burst. His dick however couldn't give a fuck what thoughts Brian had in his head; it had its own thoughts that were keeping it rock hard and pulsating.

He grabbed a hold of Justin's hips and held him firmly still. He was about to turn the tables back around on his boy.

"Brian!!!" Justin protested. He wanted, no needed Brian to keep fucking him.

Brian took a deep breath then pushed Justin forward and pulled out of him in one swift movement.

Justin flopped down on the mattress with a startled cry. He flipped over on his back and glared up at Brian.

Brian chuckled at the look on his tigers face. He was ready to do battle. Good, he thought.

"What the fuck!?" Justin asked angrily lifting himself up on his elbows.

Brian grabbed Justin's wrist and pulled him up to him.

"I want you to cum." He said throatily lowering his mouth to brush against his blondes trembling lips.

Justin's body twitched in response to Brian's words. He pulled his head back and looked at Brian with confused eyes.

"I would have if you didn't pull out." He said.

"Yes, I know, but it wouldn't have been inside of me." Brian clarified.

Justin sucked his breath in, stunned at the admission.

He wasn't surprised Brian wanted to be topped; Justin had topped Brian plenty of times over the years. He just didn't anticipate his lovers' need at this moment. Brian was so into the groove, the sudden switch came as a surprised. A very pleasant one at that.

Justin was a bottom at heart. He lived for the feeling of Brian inside him, filling him, dominating their lovemaking, and fuck sessions, but there was a part of him that also reveled in taking the lead on occasion.

And he was not about to pass up this, or any occasion involving his dick in Brian's ass. Topping Brian was always a special treat and no matter how many times he has topped Brian in the past, he always felt a twinge of nervousness in his stomach when Brian requested it.

Topping Brian was like climbing Mount Everest. It took a lot of arrogance and balls to think you can master doing it as magnificently as the Master himself, but once you took the challenge on, the end results was nothing short of glorious.

Justin's eyes grew dark with passion as anticipation of his climb mounted. He leaned forward pushing Brian onto his back and loomed over him.

"Turn over." He ordered seductively.

Brian reached up and pulled Justin down for a kiss, ravishing his mouth with an urgency that inflamed Justin. The kiss lasted until both had to break away to catch their breath.

Brian pulled back and looked up into Justin's eyes.

"I want to feel you inside of me." He breathed fervently.

Justin's pulse quickened and his heart soared. Gently, he guided Brian over.

Brian closed his eyes and let Justin take control.

A deep sigh escaped him as he felt Justin position himself between his legs from behind.

 

Justin gazed lovingly at Brian's body, humbled by the beauty of it. He leaned over and flicked his tongue at the base of Brian's neck, tasting the sweet saltiness of his skin. He then ran the tip of his tongue all the way down over his spine, in-between his cheeks then finally resting on his opening. Justin grabbed Brian's cheeks and spread them, giving him better access. With loving, wet caresses, Justin readied his lover for him.

 

Brian sucked his breath in as Justin worked his tongue in and around him, making his blood rush to his head, and giving him an impossible hard on.   
He had to bite his pillow to keep from crying out as Justin performed his magic.

Justin felt Brian's body tense up, signaling he was ready for him. Justin always read Brian's body perfectly.

 

He reached over and grabbed the lube from the bedside stand and proceeded to spread the cool lotion over Brian before inserted one finger.

Brian threw his head back and let out a small gasp.

Justin leaned over and traced the lobe of Brian's ear with his tongue, then blew on it.

"You have no fucking idea how hot you are." He whispered huskily.

Brian let out a small choked sound and squeezed down on Justin's finger.

Encouraged by his response, Justin slipped another finger in, then a third. Brian was panting at this point; his body was ready for Justin.

"Now." Brian commanded, impatient to have his boy inside of him.

 

Justin raised himself up and positioned his cock at Brian's entrance.   
He entered Brian slowly. Stretching him inch-by-inch, giving him time to adjust.

Brian hissed at the sweet intrusion and pushed back. Justin reached around for his hand and entwined their fingers. Their matching cowry bracelets scrape against each other's.

 

"Yes, that's it. More..." Brian demanded pushing back against him.

Justin pushed forward and began to move slowly in and out of Brian, creating a rhythm that was leisurely and painfully measured. Each stroke left Brian panting, and wanting more. Though he would never voice it. He didn't have to, his body spoke it to Justin; it was how they best communicated after all.

 

Brian let Justin lead him in the dance. Their bodies moved in perfect synchronicity.

Justin reached around and wrapped his fingers around Brian's cock. He started stroking him in tempo with his thrusts.

Brian moaned deeply. He brought his hand back placed in on Justin's hip, anchoring himself as his boy drove into him faster, and deeper.

A sweat broke out on Justin's forehead. He wasn't going to hold out. He closed his eyes and laid his cheek against Brian's back.

 _‘Fuck! Don't cum ...don't cum ...don't cum ....'_ His mind chanted over and over.

Brian was getting close, Justin could feel it. He didn't want to cum before Brian but oh God, he was so hot!

"Brian....." He croaked out his need.

Brian felt Justin's cock throb inside of him, he knew he wouldn't hold out much longer.

"Justin...wait...don't cum yet." He ordered.

He stilled his movements, giving Justin time to collect himself, but Justin was having none of it.

"Fuck that!" He growled out and thrust wildly into Brian. He was blinded by his carnal hunger.

Brian's body responded to the raging desires of his partner. All he could do was hold on, and let his lover take him over the edge.

Justin's strokes were less calculated now, and more wild. Brian smiled to himself.

 

"Yes, that's it, faster, harder!" Brian urged him on, loving his boys' loss of control. He knew it pissed Justin off, which only inflamed his passion more.

Justin started fucking Brian with reckless abandonment, his body seeking release.

Brian squeezed down on him.

"That's it, cum for me Sunshine..." Brian ordered, wanting to feel Justin's cock pulse and explode inside of him.

Justin lost it. His orgasm ripped through him so fiercely it burned.

"Fuck... Brian!" He cried out as his body tensed and convulsed.

"Arragggggggghhhhhh!!!"

The feel of Justin's cock throbbing inside of Brian was enough to rip his own orgasm from him. He pushed back abruptly, almost dislodging Justin from him and screamed out his climax.

Their bodies jerked and convulsed in orgasmic bliss for a long time before they both collapsed back onto the bed, each gasping for breath, their hearts racing.

Brian lay there panting heavily with Justin's cock still buried inside of him. The feel of Justin lying on top of his back, sprawled, sweaty and spent was a feeling he would never tire of.

"Fuuuck!" Justin growled out his frustration and punched the mattress. Reluctantly he slipped out of Brian and rolled over onto his back, throwing his arm over his eyes.

Brian gingerly turned to his side to study his blonde. He chuckled deep in his throat.

Justin raised his arm to peer up at Brian.

"I hate losing it like that." He confessed.

He berated himself for his lack of control. He wanted to make it last longer, to be more pleasurable for Brian but he wasn't as disciplined as Brian. Being inside Brian was like chasing the dragon. It was an addition Justin would go to any lengths for.

There was Utopia inside Brian. A place were no barriers of the senses existed. Everything merged into one when he was inside of Brian. All feeling, all emotions and everything physical came together making them truly one in those moments before his world would explode around him, and his life seed erupted into the source of his addiction. It was a feeling like none other.

 

And he knew Brian would be sore from his selfish pursuit of that euphoric sate.

He totally lost control this time. It had just been so long, and they nearly lost each other over this fucking curse, that Justin was too desperate and needy to give Brian the pleasure Brian always managed to give him.

Brian leaned over and kissed him.

"I love it when you lose it like that." He said.

"I just wish I could give you the pleasure you give me." Justin said despondently.

Justin turned into him and buried his face in Brian's chest. Brian brought his hand up and ran his fingers through the silky blonde locks.

"Sunshine, are you fucking serious? Do you have any idea what it does to my ego knowing I can make you lose it like that? It's the greatest compliment, and expression of love. What greater pleasure is there than that?" Brian asked.

Justin sighed and turned his head to look up at Brian.

"All the more reason for me not to lose it like that. Your ego's too big as it is." He teased, feeling better at Brian's words.

Brian laughed and pulled him in close against his body. Their hot, sweaty naked flesh connected sending little shivers between them.

"Hmmm...at this rate, it won't be long before something else besides my ego gets big again." Brian teased.

"God no Brian. I need at least a couple of hours to recuperate! Where the fuck do you get your energy?" Justin asked.

"From you. You keep me young." Brian answered.

"Well you're wearing me out. I think I better start hitting the gym more. You're almost forty and in better shape than me." Justin said indolently.

Brian swatted his ass.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Justin complained rubbing his ass.

"What did I tell you about using the "F" word?" Brian said way too seriously.

"For God sakes Brian you really need to get over this silly age obsession. If nothing else, the fact that you can out fuck me, hell, two of me, should prove to you that age is nothing but a number." Justin said.

"I'm not having this conversation." Brian said flopping over onto his back. He reached over to his nightstand and pulled a cigarette out of the pack that was lying there and lit it.

Justin groaned and went to get out of bed

Brian saw him winch at the movement.

"Hey, did you hurt your leg?" He asked exhaling a puff of smoke.

Justin still wore his shin cast, though he acted like it wasn't there. He stopped using his crutch days ago opting to limp around on it instead. In truth, Brian barely noticed it himself and was sorry he wasn't more careful. They fucked hard and long all night and in every position. He was sure some of those positions put too much strain on his shin.

"I'm fine. The cast comes off next week anyway. How about you, are you sore?" Justin asked looking back at Brian with concerned eyes.

"Let's just say I'll be feeling you for a few days." Brian said with a wicked smile.

Justin didn't know if he should feel guilty, or elated. He opted for the later.

He was about to comment on his condition when his cell rang.

 

"Don't answer it." Brian said.

"I have to, it's probably Jagger." Justin said.

"Why would Jagger be calling now?" He asked.

Justin got up and reached for his pants. He pulled the cell from his pocket.

"Because he's flying in today with Corrine." Justin said before answering the phone without looking at the incoming number.

"Daddy J!" The gleeful voice erupted over the phone.

A huge smile spread across Justin's face.

"Gus!" Justin returned the jubilant greeting.

"It's been like forever since I've talked to you! Every time I call Dad says you're not around. So I decided this time to call your cell. You know I only get two phone calls a week. One to my moms, and one to you and Dad." Gus explained.

"I know, I'm sorry I haven't been around for your calls, but I'm sooo glad you got me now. And your Dad is with me, so you can talk to him too." Justin said.

"Cool. How's the show going?" Gus asked.

"It's great. How's soccer camp?" Justin asked.

Gus was spending the summer away at soccer camp for the first time. Brian and Lindsey had decided when Justin got in the accident and loss his memory not to tell Gus. They didn't want him worried the whole time he was away.

"Oh man it's great! I'm the best player in my squad!" Gus boasted cheerily.

Justin laughed.

"I have no doubt. You got your fathers genes." Justin said.

"So are you making new friends?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, everyone is cool here. The Coaches are great, and we even get to play with the older kids sometimes, though some of them can be mean. Especially Jeremy Tucci." Gus said, the joy slipping a bit in his tone.

Justin frowned. Brian sat up and took notice.

"Who's Jeremy Tucci, and how is he being mean?" Justin asked.

"He's just a dork. He's the oldest kid here, almost 14, and he thinks he knows everything! He calls me and my teammate's babies." Gus said.

The camp Gus was going to hosted kids age 10-13. Though they were separated into squads within their own age group.

"Why does he call you babies?" Justin asked.

Gus made a dramatic sighing noise on the other end. He was truly his fathers' son when it came to the theatrics Justin mused fondly.

"Cause he has a girlfriend and thinks he's the shit." Gus said.

"Gus.." Justin gently admonished Gus for his language. Oh yes, he was too much like his Dad.

"Sorry Daddy J, but he does! I mean who wants to hear about him kissing girls! It's disgusting if you ask me. And I told him so." Gus said.

Justin laughed.

"Well I think your father would agree with you on that one." Justin said.

"Maybe it's best if you just avoid those types of conversations with him Gus." Justin advised.

"I know, but he called me a baby because I told him I'd rather eat a bug then kiss a girl. Hey, maybe I'm gay like you and Dad..." Gus added as if the thought just came to him.

Justin's face went white.

"What?!" Brian asked sharply seeing the look on Justin's face.

Justin turned to him and sputtered.

"Um, our son thinks he might be gay because he'd rather eat a bug then kiss a girl." He said.

Brian rolled his eyes.

"For God sakes give me the phone." He said and held his hand out.

Justin handed the phone to Brian glad to be let off the hook from this one. The topic had never come up with their kids. It was obvious from the start that Lizzy, Jagger, and Peter were straight, they were old enough to know by the time he and Brian adopted them and Johnny just brought home a girlfriend one day when he turned 15. The twins were only six so it wasn't an issue yet with them. Gus however was about to enter puberty. It would be their first time dealing with the question of sexuality with one of their children.

"Hey sonny boy how are you?" Brian asked taking the phone from Justin.

"Great Dad! I'm kicking ass here!" He said.

Brian smiled. Unlike Justin and his moms, Brian let Gus get away with using certain words he didn't consider that offensive.

"That's my boy. Now what's this about you thinking you might be gay?" Brian asked bluntly.

"I don't know, I could be. I don't like girls. And I DON'T like hearing about kissing them. Tucci is always telling us how he puts his tongue in his girlfriends' mouth. That's just disgusting Dad!" Gus complained petulantly.

Brian laughed.

"Yeah, I agree, but Gus it's natural for you to feel this way at your age. A ten year old is supposed to think girls and kissing are icky. It doesn't mean you're gay." Brian told his son.

"But I could be, right?" Gus asked almost hopefully.

Brian understood where Gus was coming from. What kid didn't want to be like his parents? Especially a son wanting to be like his Dad? Unless of course the Dad in question was Jack, but Brian wasn't anything like his father. He loved Gus more than anything. He loved all his children deeply and profoundly. It was why he was willing to risk so much to protect them.

"Yes, you could. But you won't know till you're a few years older so I wouldn't be worried about it now. Or wishing for it to be one way or another. I expect you to be true to yourself Gus, you know that. Just because your Daddy J and I are gay doesn't mean you have to be. We would be disappointed if you thought you had to." Brian said.

"I know Dad. I would never do that. I just wish Tucci would shut up." Gus said.

"Unfortunately sonny boy, you're going to learn that some people are too stupid to know when to shut their mouths. The best you can do is just avoid them whenever possible. If this Tucci boy gives you anymore trouble, tell the coach and call me right away." Brian said.

"Geesh Dad, I can take care of myself!" Gus whined.

Brian smiled into the phone.

"I know you can." He said with pride in his voice.

"Ok, I gotta go Dad, tell Daddy J I love him, and I'll see you guys in August! Remember you promised to take us to Disney land!" Gus said.

Brian groaned. Justin promised to take the kids to Disney Euro. He made no such promise.

"You'll have to take that up with Daddy J when you get here." Brian said.

Gus laughed.

"Come on Dad, you can at least do one roller coaster ride with me." Gus said.

"Sonny boy if you only knew the roller coaster ride I'm on now, you wouldn't ask me to go on another one." Brian sighed.

"Whatever!" Gus said.

"Gotta run. Love ya! Bye." Gus said then hung up.

"Jesus that kid has the most abrupt endings to his phone calls." Brian said throwing the phone at Justin.

Justin caught it and laughed.

"Well I'm just glad you were here to run interference with that question. You handled it beautifully by the way." Justin said.

"I'm just glad he feels safe coming to us with questions like that." Brian said.

"He's has great parents. And you are an amazing Dad." Justin said.

"Yeah, well it's easy with Gus. Mel and Lins have done a great job with him. I can only take partial credit. Now Jagger on the other hand, turned out great mainly because of your influence. You were there for him when I couldn't be." Brian said somberly.

"You never give yourself enough credit when it comes to our children. They all adore you; they worship the ground you walk on. The boys all want to be like you. Do you think that's because you're a mediocre father?" Justin asked.

"No I think they're either brain damaged or delusional. And speaking of Jagger, why is he flying in today with Corrine?" Brian asked.

"Because I asked them to." Justin answered.

An uncomfortable silence followed Justin's confession.

"So, you asked Corrine to do the procedure?" Brian asked breaking the silence.

"It's called an abortion Brian. Calling it a procedure isn't going to make it any less ugly." Justin retorted.

Brian sighed sadly.

"I'm sorry Sunshine, but it's the only way. I'm glad Corrine is going to do it. It will make it less....impersonal." Brian said for lack of a better word.

Justin threw him an incredulous look.

"Actually I didn't ask her to do the ‘procedure'. I asked her to fake doing it." Justin confessed.

Brian threw his legs over the bed and stood up to face Justin.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" He asked.

"Because I wanted to stop the abortion from happening." Justin answered unruffled.

Brian narrowed his eyes.

"Wanted? As in past tense? As in you don't want to stop it now?" Brian asked cautiously.

"Yes, as in past tense. And yes, I don't want to stop it now. I told Corrine I changed my mind." Justin said.

"Ok, I'm confused. Are you telling me you want Adeline to have the abortion?" Brian asked.

"Good God no! Why would I want to kill my own child?" Justin asked.

Brian flinched at Justin's words. There was no nice way of putting it, what he and Andy were doing was in essence, killing Justin's child by forcing Adeline to have the abortion.

"So you don't want the abortion to go forward." Brian said trying to gauge where Justin was coming from.

"What I want is irrelevant. I don't believe the abortion is going to happen. But I'm not going to try and stop it. Saving the child isn't going to break the curse." Justin said.

"Then you agree that aborting the child will?" Brian asked hopefully.

"No, I know for a fact it won't." Justin said.

Brian threw his hands up in the air frustrated.

"You got to help me out here Sunshine, what the fuck are you saying?" Brian asked.

Justin stood up and approached Brian. He grabbed his hand and led him towards the bathroom.

"Come on, we need to shower first, we stink." He said.

Brian pulled him back.

"No you don't, come on, spill. What's going on inside that pretty blonde head of yours?" Brian asked.

Justin looked up at him with quizzical eyes.

"I'll tell you, if you're ready to listen. I mean really listen." Justin said.

Brian led Justin back to the bed and sat down.

"I'm listening." He said holding Justin's gaze.

"Elliot paid me a visit." Justin said.

Brian raised his eyebrow.

"Oh? What did he have to say?" Brian asked skeptically.

Justin heard the doubt in Brian's tone.

"I'm not going to tell you if you're going to dismiss it out of hand." Justin said.

"Fine. I'm listening. With no prejudgment, ok? I just don't like the way these Angels, and their henchmen keep fucking with our lives." Brian said. At this point, he was ambiguous to anything they had to say.

"He told me we were working against each other. He said that neither you, nor I could break the curse. Only Alexander can." Justin said.

Brian snorted.

"And this is news how? I know this. It's why I'm not forcing Adeline to have the abortion. Andy is." Brian said.

"Yeah well here's the thing Brian, Andy isn't Alexander." Justin said.

"That's ridiculous. Andy had a vision that he was Alexander in another life, and Andy's visions are never wrong." Brian said adamantly.

"Yes, his ‘soul' occupied Alexander's body, but once it left that body, it forgot that entire part of its existence. Andy needs to remember that part of his life in order to break the curse." Justin said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in, mulling Justin's words over in his head.

"I understand what you're saying, but it doesn't fit. The curse says ‘until the wrong is righted'. Loss of memory isn't exactly a wrong that needs to be righted. But a wrongful death being avenged is." Brian surmised.

"But Brian you're assuming the wrong that was done to Alexander was the circumstances surrounding his grandmother's death. What if it's something entirely different? We can't know for sure, only Alexander knows. Only ‘he' holds those memories, and the answers." Justin spoke passionately. He could sense Brian was seeing some truth to what he was saying.

"What if Andy does remember his life as Alexander and he still say's the child needs to die in order to break the curse? Are you willing to accept that?" Brian asked.

He knew Justin wanted to believe with all his heart there was another way, and Brian would like nothing better if that were true, but he needed Justin to understand and accept, that killing the child, might be the only answer. He needed to know if Justin could accept that fact.

"If you're willing to risk Andy reliving the pain of that time to get Alexander's memory back, and it turns out you were right, I won't be happy about it, but I'll accept it and won't stand in your way." Justin said sincerely.

Brian sighed. He had wanted to avoid this. The truth was, he didn't think Andy was strong enough to relive those memories. Not just the memory of having to watch his grandmother burn at the stake, but finding out he had cursed his own mother and brother, causing Brian and Justin's families' generations of pain and suffering. That knowledge would crush Andy, Brian knew it. But he had no choice. He had to risk it. They were about to kill Justin's child. How could he not examine every other possible solution first before committing that heinous act? That child was part of Justin. He owed it to Justin, and the baby to be absolutely sure that what they were doing, would indeed break the curse. And if that meant sacrificing his own brothers mental health, and possibly his soul, then God help him, he would.

Justin saw the myriad of emotions flit across Brian's face. He knew how difficult this was for him. He loved Andy with all his heart. He protected him his whole life, now he was being asked to risk causing him more, possibly irreversible, pain and suffering.   
He laid his hand on his arm.

"Brian perhaps its' fate. Yours and his. You saved Andy once; maybe it's his time to save you. And in doing so, save himself. He told you he never made it into heaven, maybe this is his opportunity to remedy that. Last time he was on earth, you had to take his life in order to save his soul but maybe this time it's the life saved, and not the life taken, that will save his, and your soul." Justin said

Brian gathered Justin to and hugged him. There was much wisdom in his words, and hope.

"I don't know Sunshine, I just don't know...But you're right. Andy does need to remember. I just pray it won't destroy him." Brian said. His words muffled in Justin's hair.

Justin could feel the sorrow in Brian's heart. He hugged him tightly then pulled back to look up into his eyes. There was tears pooling in them, it broke Justin's heart.

"Andy is strong Brian. No one knows this better than you. He'll be able to handle it." Justin said confidently.

Brian smiled sadly.

"I hope you're right. But first we have to get him to remember in order to find out. So far he hasn't been able to on his own." Brian said.

"I have an idea. Remember how I got my memory back?" Justin asked.

Brian smiled at the memory of that day when Justin got his memory back of their dance at his prom.

"I remember the events of that day vividly." He said lovingly.

Justin smiled.

"Me too. And we have Rena to thank for that. She hypnotized me, which helped me break through my mental block. I think she can do the same for Andy." Justin said.

Brian narrowed his eyes in thought.

"That just might work. She's his sister. He'll feel safe with her." Brian mused.

"It's worth a try." Justin urged.

Brian held Justin's gaze for a moment then nodded his head.

"You're right. I'll call her." He said.

Justin smiled relieved that Brian agreed to give it a try. He hoped it would work. It had to. So much depended on Andy getting his past life memory back. More then just breaking the curse. Justin had a feeling there was something locked away in Andy's past that would change the course of all their destinies.

Justin shook his head at those somber thoughts.

 

"Then it's settled." He said getting up from the bed.

"Now let's go shower, and then find Andy. We've been in this room hours, he's probably worried." Justin said.

Brian laughed.

"More like embarrassed with as much noise as we make." Brian said.

"Are you complaining?" Justin asked with a wry smile.

"Actually Sunshine, it's what I like best about fucking you. All those delicious little, and not so little, sounds you make." Brian said.

"Oh, so that is what ‘that' is!" Justin said.

Brian gave him a confused look.

Justin laughed.

"Come on stud, I'll remind you in the shower." Justin said.

 

*******************************************

 

An hour later Justin and Brian found Andy out by the barn sitting on an over turned pail, staring out into the pastures. He turned his head when he heard Brian approach.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey" Brian replied a little concerned. Andy had a strange look in his eyes.

"What's up?" Brian asked.

"I'm not sure." Andy said.

Brian knelt down beside him and took his hand.

"What do you mean?" Brian asked.

"Why am I here?" Andy asked.

Brian turned worried eyes to Justin. Justin looked just as concerned.

"Do you mean here, as in out by the barn?" Brian asked.

"No I mean ‘here'." Andy stressed by swinging his arms wide, indicating his surroundings, and himself.

"Andy, where do you think you should be?" Justin asked cautiously.

"I don't know, but I don't think I should be here, or in this body. Where's my body bean?" Andy asked.

Brian sucked his breath in.

 _‘What's happening to my brother!'_ his mind panicked.

He was expecting an answer from above, but none came.

"Andy, tell me what's the last thing you remember?" Brian asked worriedly.

Andy smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

"You. Kissing me. Saving me." He said in a low voice so the blonde boy standing behind his brother wouldn't hear.

Brian was starting to freak but he didn't want to alarm his brother. He forced a smile to his face and patted Andy's hand.

"You're here to save me now." Brian said to his brother.

Justin was standing behind Brian doing everything in his power not to cry. He had to be strong for Brian. Something bad was happening to Andy.

Andy looked at Brian confused.

"I don't understand, but I'd do anything for you Bean." He said.

"I know." Brian said, tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you to worry. Everything is going to be fine, I promise." He said.

Andy smiled at his brother.

"There's no one I trust more." He declared with a sincerity that broke both Justin's and Brian's heart.

 

Brian smiled back at his brother and stood up.

His chest was pounding with fear. Andy was losing it. He had to do something fast. Maybe Rena getting him to remember his past would help Andy sort it out. He turned to Justin. He grabbed his arm and led him away, so that Andy couldn't hear them.

"I'm going to call Rena. This has to be done now." Brian said.

Justin nodded his head.

"Stay with him. Keep him calm." Brian said.

"I will. Just go call Rena." Justin said.

Brian led Justin back over to Andy.

"Andy, this is Justin. He's going to sit with you for a while." Brian said.

Andy looked up at Justin.

"I know you." He said.

Justin smiled at him.

"Yes, you do." He answered then sat down besides him.

Brian left the two alone and headed back towards the cabin. He would call Rena, but first he hand another call to make.

"ELLIOT GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" Brian screamed out to the empty cabin the minute he walked through the door.

Several agonizing minutes passed before Elliot appeared.

"You know you don't have to scream." Elliot said.

"What's happening to my brother?" Brian demanded.

"He's forgetting who he is. He's been in the host body too long. I told you before, he needs to remember. But you were too stubborn to heed my words. Now he not only has forgotten his life as Alexander, he's forgetting his life as Andy. If this continues, his soul will be trapped in limbo, inside the host body. Both his, and the host body's soul will be lost." Elliot said.

"Mother fucker! How can they let this happen? They put him in Jason's body to begin with! Why do they fuck with our lives like this? Who gives them the right?! God?" Brian spat out viciously. His anger was seeping through his pores.

"I know this is hard for you to understand, but the Angel Gabriel is trying to help your brothers' soul into heaven. He has a mission on earth, and it is up to you to help him achieve it. I've been trying to help you, but you've rejected my help from the beginning. Are you now willing to listen to me?" Elliot asked.

"Yes, for fucks sake, tell me what to do!" Brian said desperately.

"Call your sister. Get him to remember, then trust what happens." Elliot said.

Brian took a deep breath.

"Ok, fine. I can do that." Brian said then pulled his cell out to call Rena.

Elliot frowned.

"You didn't hear me, once again." Elliot said frowning.

Brian looked up at him.

"What are you talking about? I heard you! I'm fucking calling her right now!" Brian said.

Elliot shook his head.

"Foolish human. When will you learn? Tell me what I said." Elliot requested.

Brian made a ‘what the fuck' face.

"You said call my sister, get him to remember." Brian answered.

"And?" Elliot pressed.

Brian furrowed his brow.

"Oh, yeah. Trust what happens." Brian said shaking his head.

"As if I have a choice." He remarked sarcastically.

Elliot moved closer to him. Brian immediately felt calmer by his presence.

"You DO have a choice. That is the point you are still missing. Whatever happens Brian, when Alexander starts to remember, you MUST not stop it. You must have faith, and trust the outcome. You will be tempted, but you must resist. You must choose faith over logic. Even over your own heart." Elliot urged seriously.

Brian looked at the Angel's agent and shivered. He knew what Elliot was telling him. Something bad was going to happen, and Brian had to just let it happen.

Elliot saw understanding dawn in Brian's eyes and nodded his head, satisfied.

"I'll be with you Brian. I'll make sure neither Joffith, nor any other evil spirit interferes in Alexander's mission, but you must also hold up your end. Only then will we have a chance of righting the wrong." Elliot said.

Brian just stared at him blankly.

"You can do this. Just have faith Brian. Remember who you are." Elliot said.

Brian nodded his head.

"I won't fuck this up. I promise." Brian said.

"Good. Now make the call." Elliot said then disappeared.

Brian looked down at the phone lying in his hand.

He dialed Rena's number. She picked up the phone on the second ring.

"Bean, what the fuck is going on!?" She shouted into the phone.

"Re, Andy needs you. Come to the cabin." He said.

 

He didn't have to say anymore. He hung up, knowing Rena would drop everything and come. He left the cabin and walked back to the barn where Justin and Andy were.

He could hear them talking softly and laughing as he approached. He closed his eyes and let the sound of their laughter sink into him. He branded it to memory.

All too soon, he knew, that laughter was going to die, to be replaced with pain, and God knows what else and the worse part was, he couldn't do a damned thing about it.


	26. Lock and Key

**" It is the secret of the world that all things subsist and do not die, but only retire a little from sight and afterwards return again. Nothing is dead; men feign themselves dead, and endure mock funerals and mournful obituaries, and there they stand looking out of the window, sound and well, in some new strange disguise...."**

 **From the Poem, "All Return Again" By Ralph Waldo Emerson.**

 

 

 

Jagger dropped his and Corrine's bags on the floor of the Villa's foyer, shocked at the scene before him.

"What the fuck is going on here!" He bellowed, causing everyone to stop their shouting and turn to look at him.

Lizzy was the first to react. She cried out and ran to him. Jagger opened his arms to receive her.

"Oh Jag, I'm so glad you're here! You have to help me! They won't let me go to him!" She cried into his chest.

 

Jagger drew her to him protectively and threw the three men responsible for his sisters distressed a furious look.

 

"Jag, honey what are you doing here?" Emmett was first to break the uncomfortable silence that fell over the room following Lizzy's accusation.

 

"What am I doing here? How about why the fuck are you three ganging up on my sister?" Jagger retorted angrily.

 

"Bro, take it easy. We're just trying to stop Lizzy from getting hurt." Peter interjected.

 

Jagger snorted.

 

"Calm down and listen to what's going on first before jumping to conclusions." Corrine spoke into Jagger's ear.

 

"Jag, something's wrong with Jason and they won't let me go to him!" Lizzy informed him.

 

"We don't know that for sure. All we know is Brian called Rena to come to the cabin because Jason needed her. We assume he requires medical attention, since your aunt is a doctor, but we don't know. The fact that he called Rena, and not an ambulance, is evident that what ever it is, it isn't serious. I called your Dad and he told us everyone was fine but under no circumstances were we to allow anyone to go up to the cabin. We are just following his wishes. Your sister wants to be by her boyfriends' side, understandably, but it may cause more problems then solve. We were advising her of this when you walked in." James said shedding light on the situation.

 

Jagger relaxed a bit. He had a good idea why Rena was called. DJ probably found out that Jason and Dad were fucking around, as he suspected all a long, and punched Jason out. He had to agree with James. Lizzy shouldn't be there. What ever happened up there at the cabin was best handled by those involved.

 

"Liz, I agree with Uncle James. You know how strange Dad and Jason have been acting lately. Whatever's been going on has probably come to a head. Best if you wait here. Sooner or later I'm afraid, you'll know the truth." He said.

 

Lizzy narrowed her eyes at her brother.

 

"What are you insinuating?" She asked in a dangerous tone.

Jagger sighed.

"Come on sis are you fucking blind! Jason's been following Dad around like a lovesick puppy since he's arrived! He spends more time with Dad, than you! You don't find that a little strange?" Jagger spat out ruthlessly.

Lizzy gasped in shock.

"How DARE you! Jason would NEVER! DAD WOULD NEVER!" Lizzy screamed out her denial.

"Jagger Taylor-Kinney you apologize to your sister RIGHT now!" Emmett chastised strongly.

"Fuck I will! Peter and I've suspected it for some time now, we even confronted Dad about it but he denied it!" Jagger said.

"And that should be enough for you. I'm surprised at you Jagger. After all this time, you think your Dad would ever lie to you? That's not Brian. Believe me, I've known him most my adult life and I can tell you Brian Kinney is many things, but a liar is not one of them. No matter if the truth hurt, actually, especially if the truth hurt, Brian is always honest." Emmett defended Brian passionately.

"We know Em, and we did believe him at the time. But maybe he didn't notice Jason's infatuation with him because he was too worried about Daddy J getting his memory back. Who's to say things haven't changed since? You can't deny how close they are these days, especially since Jason moved out of the Villa and into the cabin. We hardly ever see Dad anymore; he spends all his time up at the cabin with Jason." Peter said.

Lizzy cried out and put her hands over her ears as she ran up to her room.

Corrine sighed.

"Was that necessary? You two have no proof yet you just crushed that girls heart!" Corrine said.

She walked past Jagger and followed Lizzy up the stairs. She turned around and called out to Jagger.

"I'll deal with you later!" She said then disappeared up the stairs.

"Fucking great. Like this is my fault!" Jagger said throwing his hands up.

"Honey it's not your fault, but you aren't helping the situation. I can tell you for a fact that Jason and your Dad are NOT fucking around." Emmett said.

James nodded in agreement. He couldn't believe Brian would do that to his family.

"Fine. Then maybe Jason made a play for Dad and DJ caught it. What the fuck do I know? But something is going on between the three of them! Something not right, and it's hurting Lizzy!" Jagger vented.

He walked into the living area and straight to the bar. He reached under the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka.

Peter and Emmett's jaws dropped open. James frowned disapprovingly.

"Are you fucking insane!" Peter yelled. He ran over to Jagger and pulled the bottle from him.

"When did you fall off the wagon?" He asked; disappointment heavy in his voice.

Jagger looked at his watch.

"In about two minutes providing you GIVE ME THAT FUCKING BOTTLE BACK!" Jagger screamed into his brothers' face.

"Give him the bottle." James said.

Emmett and Peter turned shocked eyes to James.

He shrugged.

"It's his life. Do you really think you can dictate to him how he should live it?" James said then strolled over to Peter and pulled the bottle from him. He then turned and shoved it into Jagger's hands.

"Here, take it. And go. Like I said it's your life to fuck up, but do us all a favor and fuck it up somewhere else. Your family doesn't deserve this. They shouldn't suffer from your weakness." James said cruelly.

Emmett gasped. Peter cursed, and Jagger threw the bottle to the floor in anger. Glass shattered on the tile and the strong scent of alcohol filled the room.

"Fuck you James." He spat out.

James shrugged.

"I'm not the one you'll be fucking. Start using again and it's your family you'll be fucking." James returned.

Jagger glared at James. He hated James for being right. He should have never reached for that bottle but it just came so naturally to him when life got out of hand, and right now, life was totally out of fucking control.

 

To begin with, his relationship with Corrine was on shaky ground. His fucking band, well some in his band, were making life miserable for her and it was putting a wedge between them. The stress of trying to keep everyone happy and fulfill his recording contract and concert dates were getting to be too much, but he had been dealing with it, well at least he was until he got the call from DJ.

He just knew in his gut that Jason was at the root of his Dads problems. DJ and his Dad were his lifeline. He couldn't handle it if they split, and he especially couldn't handle it if their split, and the reason for it destroyed his sister. He was glad Peter took that bottle from him; it was probably why he pulled it out in front of his family to begin with. He wanted someone to stop him, but James' words cut through him like a knife. The last thing his family needed was to be dealing with his shit.

Jagger put his elbows on the bar and placed his head in his hands. He sighed loudly, letting his anger dissipate.

"I fucking hate sobriety." He bemoaned.

"Unfortunately that's a sentiment shared by many. They believe that the world is easier navigated with chemical assistance. But that journey is a lonely one, devoid of any true emotion. Not a good trade off if you ask me." James said; his voice more consoling now.

Jagger peeked up at him.

"Yeah well emotions are over rated if you ask me." Jagger remarked.

Emmett, who was cleaning up the shattered glass and vodka, looked up a Jagger.

"Do I detect a hint of discord? Trouble with Corrine?" He asked.

Jagger pushed himself away from the bar.

"More like trouble with my whole fucking life." He said cryptically.

Emmett and James exchanged worried looks.

"Geesh, Jag what the fuck is going on?" Peter asked.

"Well let's see. I'm busting my ass day and night working on my new album, meeting concert dates, dealing with disgruntled band members, and fighting off paparazzi's! I'm putting in as much studio time as I can in between touring, signing autographs, posing for fucking magazines, appearing on every fucking talk show Janet can book me on, and believe me she fucking booked at least 15 in London alone, and for fun I get to be mediator between my girlfriend and certain members of my band because God forbid I should spend any time with the woman I love, they think she's the reincarnation of Yoko Ono! Wait, she's not dead, is she? Anyway, right in the middle of this balancing act I've been performing, I have to fly home because my family is on the verge of being torn apart!" Jagger ended his rant with a smirk, holding his arms out wide.

It was such a Brianesque move, Emmett's heart ached. The boy was at his wits end.

"Have you called your sponsor?" Peter asked.

"Duh, I don't have a sponsor! You know how I feel about that shit. I hate talking to anyone outside the family about my problems. It's none of their fucking business!" Jagger said.

"That's unwise Jagger. You need a sponsor." James said.

"Do I? I've been clean for a year now without one." Jagger said.

"Yes, but remember you were clean for six years before that. Then fame hit you hard last year and that's when you relapsed. Your sobriety is different this time around. You've more pressure professionally, and for the first time, personally. Before Corrine, you've never been in a committed relationship. You're under a tremendous amount of pressure. You need a sponsor. If you had one, you would have reached for the phone, and not the bottle." James said.

Jagger laughed bitterly.

"That's were you're wrong Uncle James. Do you think this is the first time in the past year I've wanted a drink or a fix? Well it isn't." Jagger said.

James frowned.

"And what stopped you?" He asked, wondering if the lad had fallen off the wagon in the past year and no one had noticed.

Jagger sighed deeply.

"DJ." He answered solemnly.

The three men stared at him curiously, though they weren't surprised.

"I told you I won't talk to anyone outside the family about my addiction. DJ's the one who helped me detox at 13, and he's been there for me ever since. When I'd get that feeling, that ‘need', I'd always call him and he's always been able to ground me. To talk me down. I only slipped last year because I was too stubborn to reach out to him, thinking I could handle it on my own." Jagger explained then laughed bitterly at his own stupidity.

"Man was I wrong. Cost me time in rehab and a shit load of bad publicity. DJ pulled me through that time as well. But now he needs me more than I need him. I can't call him." Jagger said.

"Poor baby!" Emmett said and went over to hug him.

Jagger let his "aunty Em" comfort him because quite frankly, he needed it. He was so fucking tired. Tired of trying to make everyone happy. He hated this fucking tour, hated the music he was producing, hated that his band was giving him and Corrine a hard time, but most of all he hated that his obligations to others, were taking him away from his obligations to his family.

His family needed him, especially Lizzy and DJ if his suspicions turned out to be true.

Jagger hugged Emmett tight then released him.

"I'll be fine. You should be more worried about DJ and Lizzy right now." Jagger said.

Emmett slapped him upside the head.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?!" Jagger asked rubbing his head. Jesus he was turning more and more into Deb every day he thought.

"For being an ass! What did I tell you? Your Dad is NOT having an affair with Jason!" Emmett said.

"And you know that how?" Jagger said, determined to keep his views.

Emmett huffed.

"Ok, if you must know, I'll tell you. Jason is not... well... he's not well." Emmett concluded for lack of any other excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Jagger asked.

"Sweetie, Jason was in a car wreck on his way here, remember?" Emmett said as an idea started forming in his head.

"Um yeah. But he walked away from it, unscratched." Peter confirmed.

"Actually no, he didn't, only no one knew about his injury until recently. You see he sustained a blow to his head, that's why he's been acting so strange. Your Dad and Aunt Rena believe that there's swelling in his brain that's created some sort of personality disorder." Emmett said smugly, impressed by his own lie.

Peter gave him a strange look. He was a second year med student, studying psychiatry, and though he knew that was possible, it didn't seem plausible.

"Are you fucking for real?" Jagger voiced his question.

"Yes, and your Dad's didn't want anyone to know until they were sure. They especially don't want to alarm Lizzy! Your Aunt's a renowned psychiatrist who specializes in these things. She's at the cabin now giving him some psychological examination to determine the reason for the drastic change in his personality. Like you said, he hasn't been acting right since he got here." Emmett said convincingly.

"Well why the fuck don't they just take him to the hospital for evaluation?" Jagger asked.

Emmett screwed his face up in thought for a moment before he answered.

"Because when Brian suggested they do that, Jason refused. So he called Rena hoping she could help him and maybe convince him to go to the hospital for more testing." Emmett said holding his breath to see if the boys were buying it.

Whether they were or not was uncertain, but James wasn't buying any of it. He held his opinion however until he could talk to Emmett alone and ask him why he would concoct such a lie.

"Holy fuck! So you're saying that Jason is like, suffering from multiple personality disorder?" Jagger asked.

"Sounds more like dissociative identity disorder." Peter chimed in.

Emmett breathed a sigh of relief. The boys believed him.

"Yeah, more like what Peter said." Emmett jumped on it.

Jagger whistled low and long.

"So what should we do?" He asked.

"Nothing. Like your Dad requested. They are more than capable of handling the situation. Until they have something concrete to tell us, I suggest we keep this information to ourselves." James said.

Emmett threw him an appreciative glance. James scowled back.

"Ok, now I feel like a shit." Jagger said.

"Me too." Peter added.

Emmett put an arm around each's shoulder.

"Now, now boys don't be so hard on your selves. You were just concerned. And you were right in your suspicions. Jason isn't acting like himself right now." Emmett said. Actually, it was the first truthful thing he has said to them.

"Now why don't you two make yourself useful and go up and comfort your sister. I need to get dinner started before everyone gets back." Emmett said.

The twins were out on the town kicking up their heels with Fran and Viv, hitting every park, playground and kid oriented establishment Paris had to offer. It was a much-needed outing for them. Even at their young age they were feeling the stress in the house. Everyone was. And everyone was doing their best to keep the stress levels down to a minimum considering the situation.

 

Jennifer, who had flown in weeks ago when Justin was first missing, was staying with them at the Villa. She spent her days supervising Justin's class and the art exhibit while he was recuperating. Johnny was her assistant, a job Lizzy was doing up until recently when she took to her room brooding. He proved to be a tremendous help plus it took his mind off the troubles at home.

But no matter where the family was, or what they were doing, they all made it a priority to be home for dinner. Everyone was pulling together to maintain a normal family routine in the midst of Brian and Justin's recent troubles.

 

"If you'd let Viv's Chef do his job, you wouldn't have to cook dinner." James sighed.

Emmett huffed. "The man is insufferable, and the twins won't eat a thing he cooks. Someone should teach him how to make macaroni and cheese." Emmett said.

The boys laughed.

"Well I for one am glad for your Mac and Cheese Aunty Em!" Jagger said.

Peter agreed.

"Good, cause we're having that for dinner. Now shoo!" Emmett shooed the boys up the stairs to comfort their sister.

Once they were out of earshot, James turned to him.

"Mind telling me what that was about?" He asked.

"If I did, you wouldn't believe me." Emmett's answer was followed by a long sigh.

"Try me." James said.

Emmett gave James a doubtful look.

"Ok, but remember, you asked." Emmett said

James waited patiently.

"The reason why Jason is not acting like himself is because he isn't." Emmett said.

"Ok. That was about as an ambiguous as you can get. Specifics please." James returned.

Emmett looked at his lover and bit his bottom lip worriedly.

"He's not himself because he's someone else." He said cautiously, afraid James would think he's lost his mind.

James threw him an exasperated look.

"Emmett, what are you trying to say? If Jason isn't himself, who is he?" He asked.

"He's Andy. Brian's dead brother. He's come back in Jason's body. That's all I know. Brian doesn't know why he's here, but obviously he's on a mission." Emmett whispered in a barely audible voice.

James sucked his breath in. He blinked a few times, as if trying to decide if he heard correctly, or if he was just imagining things.

Emmett grew worried.

"Crazy huh?" Emmett said nervously.

James shook his head as if to break the spell, or dream he was having.

"Yes, crazy. But then again, what is sane about this family?" He said.

Emmett went to him and hugged him.

"Not a damn thing. Thank God." He said.

James returned the hug briefly then went over to the bar and pulled out another bottle of vodka.

He shot Emmett a stern look before pouring himself a glass.

"Tell Jagger and you won't be getting fucked for a long time." He said then poured himself a healthy portion of the strong liquor.

 

 

****************************************************

 

Rena tip toed back out of the room and closed the door quietly. She turned to her brother and broke down.

"Fuck!" Brian cursed under his breath and went to consol his sister.

"Don't you dare lose it on me now! I can't have you a fucking mess. Andy needs you. I need you." Brian said with a shaky voice.

"He didn't know who I was just now! He's so scared and confused. I had to give him a sedative." She said pulling away from him.

 

Rena arrived about a half hour ago. Andy recognized her, but was stunned, and a little baffled at her appearance. He last remembered her at the tender age of 13. He started asking her and Brian a barrage of questions that neither could answer to his satisfaction. He was getting more agitated by the minute. Brian suggested he lay down for a while and they would talk when he was calmer. Andy followed him to the cabin, which he didn't remember ever being in, and was guided to the bedroom. Rena stayed with him while Brian talked to Justin outside. Apparently in the short time they were in there, Andy had gotten worse.

 

"I'll go talk to him." Justin said.

"Maybe we should just let him rest for a while." Brian said.

"Bri, I understand exactly what he's going through. It was just last week I had no memory of my life or who I was. I know what he's feeling." Justin said.

Brian nodded his head in agreement.

"Justin..." He said, not able to voice his thoughts, but knowing Justin would hear them just the same.

"I know. I'm afraid too, but it's going to be fine Brian. Just hold on to that, believe it. Everything is going to be fine." Justin repeated then turned and walked into bedroom.

 

Andy's heart had stopped racing a bit with the aid of the sedative that woman had given him. At least his breathing was back to normal. He was really starting to freak out. He didn't know what was happening to him.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention. He turned his head and saw a blond man enter the room.

"Are you a doctor?" He asked anxiously.

Justin's heart clenched painfully in his chest. He forced a smile on his face and approached the bed.

Andy's spirit lifted at the sight of the beautiful smile. It was comforting in a way he didn't understand.

"No, I'm not a doctor. My name is Justin. I'm a friend. A friend who not too long ago experienced the same thing you are now. I lost my memory. All of it." Justin said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Andy turned on his side to face the man.

"Were you scared?" Andy asked.

"Very. I feared I was going insane. The worse was the silence." Justin said, his eyes holding Andy's in total understanding.

"Oh God you do understand! It just keeps getting quieter in my head. Everything is disappearing. I barely remember coming into this room." Andy said.

"You are Andy Cardie. And if you forget that, I'll keep reminding you. Having an identity, even if it's one you don't remember, helps you hold on. You are Andy Cardie, and you are very much loved." Justin said. He reached out and grabbed Andy's hand and held it tight.

Andy closed his eyes and held on to the warmth, and the illusion of sanity Justin offered.

"Will it come back?" He asked, his eyes still closed.

"Yes. Do you remember the woman who was just here with you?" Justin asked.

Andy opened his eyes.

"Yes. I think." He said.

"Well she's your sister, and a doctor. She's very good at what she does. She helped me get my memory back." Justin said reassuringly.

Andy's eyes widened with hope. Again, Justin's heart clenched.

"How?" He asked.

"She hypnotized me. And if you're willing, she can do the same to you." Justin answered.

"I don't know, that sounds dangerous." Andy said.

"She would never harm you, I can promise you that. And there is nothing to it, really." Justin said.

"What would I have to do?" Andy asked.

"Just relax, and open your mind to her. Don't be afraid, have faith." Justin said.

 

 _‘Faith...'_

 

Andy instinctively knew he was a man of great faith.

"I believe my faith is strong." Andy stated definitively.

"Yes, it is, very much so." Justin said smiling. Some things were never forgotten.

"Ok, I'll do it. Anything is better than this. I feel...I feel...lost..." Andy said in a pitiful voice.

Justin reached over with his free hand and brushed the hair back from his forehead.

"You're not lost. We won't let you get lost, I promise." He said then leaned over and kissed Andy gently on the forehead.

When he pulled back, Andy looked up at him oddly.

"I know you." He stated.

"Yes, you know me." Justin said.

"No, I mean, I know you. Like, you're part of me. Inside of me. It's weird, and hard to explain. I know, that doesn't make sense. But I feel it." Andy said.

Justin looked at him curiously. What did he mean by that? Could it be his soul was remembering touching him, pulling him from the river? That surely was it. There was no other explanation.

"Well if you're ready, I'll call your sister back in and we can find out exactly how you know me, and everything else you've forgotten." Justin said.

"Yes, I think I'm ready. But ..." Andy trailed off.

"What? Tell me." Justin urged.

"What if some things are best left forgotten? I can't imagine anything being worse then this blackness inside of me. This emptiness. Yet I feel that maybe knowing might be worse than not knowing." Andy confessed.

 

"Nothing, no matter how bad, is worse than not knowing. Andy, don't be afraid. One thing you do know is that you have faith. Hold on to that, and I promise you, what ever happens, I'll be there for you. I won't leave you." Justin said.

 

 _'.............Noooooo! I won't go! I won't leave you!............'_

 

The words echoed in Andy's head.

 

 _...‘I won't leave you!'..._

 

The blonde man in front of him had said those words to him before. He remembered.

He smiled brightly at Justin.

"I know you won't. I trust you. I'm ready now." Andy said.

Justin tilted his head and smiled back at Andy. There was an odd look in his eyes, yet a trusting one. Justin meant every word he said. He would not let Andy go through this alone. Whatever horrid memory came back to Andy, Justin would be there to help him through it, and hopefully, to shield Brian from it. Brian would feel every ounce of pain Andy would feel and that, more than anything, scared the Hell out of Justin.

For all the reassurances Justin gave Andy about not being afraid, he was very much afraid. For all of them. Having faith was one thing, but having the strength and courage to face that which had damned them all for so long, were attributes he didn't know if any of them possessed.

He patted Andy's hand, got up from the bed and left the room.

 

Brian stood outside the door, as if he'd been waiting there for Justin to emerge.

"How is he?" He asked.

"He's your brother. How else would he be? Unfucking believably brave. Ready to get his memory back. He wants Rena to hypnotize him." Justin said.

Brian breathed a sigh of relief, mixed with anxiety. He turned to his sister.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" he asked, a bit of censor in his voice.

Rena's spine straightened at Brian's tone.

"He's my fucking brother too. I can handle it." She said.

Brian nodded his head, satisfied with her answer. He needed her to be strong. Andy was about to remember a time in his life, or more accurately, his past life that was very painful. Perhaps even more painful than the one they shared together, if that were possible. And his pain was going to affect both of them. There was too much love, too much of a bond between them for it not too. They all had to be strong for Andy's sake.

 

"Good." He said then opened the bedroom door.

He steeled himself emotionally and mentally then turned to his sister and Justin and motioned for them to go in ahead.

"Stay strong, and be ready for anything." Brian said to them as they walked past him and into the room.

 

Once inside, Brian raised his eyes to the ceiling.

 

 _...‘You better be right about this. I can't lose him.'_

 

His thoughts were meant for Elliot, but it was another voice that answered him.

 

 _'............ Then let go of your selfish ways. Walk with faith, not with sight... Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see... Remember this my child. Remember............'_

 

The cryptic words sent a chill down Brian' spine. He knew the orator of those words. It was the Arch Angel Gabriel, but what was he telling him? Was it a warning? Or did his words have a more prophetic meaning?

 

"Andy, this is Rena, your sister."

Justin's voice interrupted Brian's thoughts, and they broke his heart. Andy had forgotten them. He approached the bed slowly and smiled.

"And I'm Brian, your brother. Though you like to call me Bean." Brian said to his brother.

Andy looked up at him, then down, then up again.

He smiled.

"As in string bean." He said making reference to Brian's tall lean frame.

Brian's heart soared. It may not be an actual memory, but on some level, Andy, his brother, recognized him. Andy had dubbed him ‘String Bean' when they were children due to his long skinny frame. Later in life the nic got shorten to just "Bean".

"Yes, as in string bean." He said with a little laugh.

"Andy, are you ready to be hypnotized?" Rena asked.

Andy looked over at Justin.

"Will you sit with me?" He said, holding out his hand.

"Of course." Justin answered and took his hand as he sat down on the bed next to him.

Andy squeezed his hand tightly, let out a long sigh, then turned back to Rena.

"Yes, I'm ready." He said.

Rena brought her hands up behind her head and unlatched the chain that held the golden cross pendant than hung from her neck. She held it up in front of Andy's eyes.

"I want you to focus on this pendant Andy, and relax......" She began

 

Several minutes later Andy was deep under. His breathing was steady, his eye's fluttered shut. His hand grasped firmly in Justin's.

Rena turned to Brian.

"Where do you want to begin?" She asked.

Brian had filled her in on the curse, and its history. He told her of Andy's past life as Alexander O'Hara, and of his involvement in the curse. However, he left out the conversations they have had with demons and angels. There was only so much Rena could take in one shot.

"I want you to take him back to when he was Alexander O'Hara." Brian said.

"Brian, you understand that in order to do that, I have to take him back to his most recent life first. He has to remember his life as Andy, before I can get him to recount any past lives." Rena said.

"Is there anyway you can avoid the time around his death?" Brian asked hopefully.

Rena frowned.

"No. But I won't let him linger too long in that time." She said.

It wasn't very reassuring, but it was something. Brian nodded his head and Rena began.

"Andy, I want you to think back to a time when you were Andy Cardie and you lived in New York, with me, your sister Rena, and our brother Brian. Do you remember that time?" She asked.

Andy's head thrashed back and forth on the pillow he was lying on. A light sheen broke out on his forehead.

"No..." He whispered out in pain.

"Andy, what is happening?" Rena asked concern heavy in her voice.

Justin looked over at Brian to see his reaction. His face was stoic. Not a good sign.

"Please, don't. Don't touch me... Leave me alone." Andy whimpered.

"Re pull him out now!" Brian commanded in a deep, hoarse voice.

"Bean?" Andy's voice broke through his fear.

"Yes Andy, I'm here." Brian answered.

"I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me." The regret was clear in his voice.

A tear slipped from Brian's eye.

"The ego needs forgiving, love has no need." Brian repeated the words Gabriel said to him when he prayed for Justin to forgive him, hoping Andy would understand their meaning.

He did. A peaceful look feel across Andy's face. His body relaxed, and it looked like he was sleeping.

After a few minutes, Andy started turning and twisting again in bed, as another imagine, from another time took form in his mind.

"Andy, where are you now?" Rena asked sensing he was traveling back further in his childhood to a happier time.

Andy laughed a joyful, youthful laugh.

"Mama's going to be real mad when she sees that!" He said as he continued to laugh.

"What will mama see?" Rena asked.

"I told you two not to play soccer in the house." Andy said. The mirth was heavy in his voice.

Rena looked over to Brian with a wry smile on her face.

"He's talking about that time you were trying to teach me how to block a pass and I missed and the ball jumped into the air and broke a lamp." Rena said.

Brian made a face.

"You act like that was my fault!" He said with feigned outrage.

Justin smiled at the exchange, grateful they got through the rough patch in Andy's memory fairly quickly.

"Well you were the one who got in trouble." Rena said with an impish smile.

"Yeah, did I ever thank you for ratting me out?" Brian countered.

Rena laughed.

"No, but you're welcomed." She answered saucily.

Brian rolled his eyes.

"Let's just stay on track here. Bring him back further." Brian said.

Rena sobered up and turned back to Andy.

"Andy, I want you to go further back now. Way back to when you were a baby." Rena instructed.

Andy shifted on the bed once again this time into a fetal position. All the while he held on tightly to Justin's hand.

"Good. Very good. Now Andy, I want you to go back even further. Back before you were born. Back to a time where you were someone else. Someone named Alexander O'Hara. Do you remember that?" Rena asked.

Andy unfurled his body slowly and stretched out like a cat. His face took on an ominous look. His nose crinkled up.

"There is a foul stench in the air.." Andy said, only it wasn't his voice. It was deeper, and accented.

Rena, Brian and Justin exchanged looks.

"Alexander?" Rena asked.

 

"Yes?" He answered.

Brian let out a small gasp.

"It's nice to meet you." Rena said.

"Why have you summoned me?" Alexander asked.

The question was unexpected.

"Um, well because I have some questions only you can answer." Rena said.

Andy opened his eyes, only they weren't his eyes. They were the eyes of a stranger. Hard and unforgiving. Gone was the kind, compassion eyes of the young boy Rena and Brian remembered so well. In their place were the eyes of a man. An angry man.

Andy shot up in the bed. Still clutching Justin's hand. Justin held on and fought to control his breathing.

"Why are you here?! Murderer!!!" Andy screamed at Rena, but his eyes were not focused on her. He was somewhere else, speaking to someone else.

Rena put her hand to her throat in fear. Brian stood behind her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Ask him what is happening." He instructed.

Rena took a fortifying breath and proceeded.

"What is happening Alexander?" She asked.

Andy's, or rather Alexander's, face contorted in rage.

"You'll pay for this I swear!" He screamed out.

"Alexander, who will pay?" Rena asked.

Alexander's eyes grew dark and hateful.

"She who condemned my grandmother to die with her lies! Abigail Preston! Whore, liar, murderer!" Spittle spewed from Alexander's mouth as he raved on.

Justin cringed in fear, and guilt, at Alexander's words.

Rena was about to ask him another question when his whole demeanor shifted. It looked like he was going into a trance.

 

"Before the night is over, before this day is through,  
For what you've done today, I cast this spell on you..  
Seven generations all male their blood to spill  
Pain, suffering and death, all this be my will   
To feed my vengeance I have sworn  
For each and every male that's born."

 

Alexander uttered the curse he cast all those years ago. Fear gripped the hearts of all those in the room.

"No..." Justin breathed, yet he never let go of Alexander's' hand.

"Wait, something is missing. That's not the whole curse." Brian said frantically.

Rena reacted immediately.

"Alexander, is this the curse you place on Abigail Preston?" She asked.

Alexander fell back against the bed suddenly and started twisting around in pain.

"NO NO NO NO NO...God no, what have I done!" He screamed in agony.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Brian shouted.

"Alexander, what is causing you pain?" Rena asked cautiously.

"I cursed my mother! My own mother! Why didn't grandmother tell me? Oh God NOOOO! My brother! My twin!" Alexander cried out.

Suddenly, there was a sickening smell of burning flesh in the room.

Alexander lurched in the bed, dislodging Justin from the chair he was sitting on next to the bed. Their hands remained clasped tightly together.

Brian caught Justin and righted him in his chair.

"Go! For the love of God go away, I beg you, leave me!" Alexander said then let out a blood curdling scream.

Brian turned back to Rena and grabbed a hold of her shoulders and shook her.

"Do something! He's remembering when they burned him at the stake!" He shouted.

 

 _'...............you must not stop it. Have faith in the outcome............'_

 

Elliot's words rung in his head.

"No I won't go! I won't leave you!" Justin's voice broke through the chaos in the room, resounding loud and clear, only it wasn't Justin's voice. It too had an accent. And it was directed at Alexander.

Brian's eyes widened in shock.

Justin reached over with his free hand and grabbed a hold of Alexander's leg. Brian saw smoke come off of it from the touch. He ran over and pulled his hand off of Alexander's leg. There were blisters on his palms.

Justin jerked him off violently and grabbed a hold of Alexander's leg again. Smoke was now coming off of Alexander's body, and Justin's hand.

Brian grabbed on to Justin's hand with both of his and pulled with all his might but Justin was too strong. He wouldn't let go.

"Justin let go! You'll burn up with him! For God sakes, PLEASE let go!" Brian screamed trough tears as he struggled with Justin to release Alexander's burning body.

Rena jumped up and grabbed Brian's body, hysterically crying, she tried to lend her support in dislodging Justin from Alexander's body.

 

 _'...............You will lose them both..........'_

 

Elliot.

 

 _'Fuck you Elliot!'_ Brian thought.

 

And then, in the middle of the panic, chaos and fear came clarity. Just like it did that night he set Andys' soul free. He knew in that instant, what he had to do.

He made his choice.

Brian let go of Justin's burning hand and stepped back. Tears, quiet tears, streamed down his face.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy! We must stop this!" Rena shrieked, incredulous to the fact her brother was giving up.

"Alexander, when I count to five..."

Brian slammed his palm over her mouth to shut her up.

"You will NOT bring him out of this! They must play this out." Brian hissed in Rena's ear.

Rena thought Brian lost his mind, but she couldn't stop him. He held on to her too tight, she couldn't move. All she could do was watch in horror as the two men in front of her lived through their hell.

"Jonathon, please, go. I won't have your death on my soul. I've sinned enough. I need you to Live. Live for us. I beg of you." Alexander pleaded with his brother.

Justin looked at him with glazed, tear filled eyes.

"I can't. Whatever sins you have I share. All that matters is we are together now. I choose to die with you!" Justin spoke the words and Brian's heart clenched in pain.

Rena's body jerked and twisted in his arms as she tried to free herself to stop this madness, but Brian was not letting her go.

Somewhere deep, so deep it was astonishing that he was even aware of it, but he was, he knew whatever choice Justin's soul made, would be the right one.

Love was not selfish, it was selfless. Gabriel told him to let go of his selfish ways. He was always very selfish when it came to the love of his life. He breathed because Justin breathed. But if his soul mate chose to stop breathing, then Brian would respect that choice. It meant nothing. Love lived with, or without breath.

True love has no boundaries, no locks or limits. True love dwelled in faith. And for the first time in his life, Brian had faith.

 

"Brother, forgive me...." Alexander said in a weak voice, and then sank back into the mattress. His body went still.

The room grew eerily silent, the air cleared, taking away with it the foul stench of burning flesh.

‘Jonathon' cried out his denial, his one hand still clasped with Alexander's, while his other hand lay firmly on his thigh. He dropped his head down and buried his face in the mattress as deep, painful sobs wracked his body.

Brian stood back with Rena, and waited.

"Mother why? Why did you do this?"

Jonathon's muffled voice could be heard through his sobs.

Brian whispered into Rena's ear.

"I'm going to take my hand away from your mouth. I want you to ask him what happened. Obviously he didn't die in the fire with Alexander. Get him to tell you what happened after Alexander died. But promise me you won't try to wake him or Andy up yet. Ok?" Brian said.

Rena nodded her head.

"Good." Brian said then released her.

Rena took a deep steadying breath and turned to glare at her brother.

"I need to check if Andy is..." She let her words trail off.

"He's alive, but go check if you want." Brian said. He motioned for her to go to him. Though he believed his brother still lived, Rena needed reassurance.

Rena checked for a pulse and when satisfied when she found one, she breathed easier.

She pulled a chair up in front of Justin and sat down.

"Jonathon, what happened?" Rena asked.

"I was there at the burnings. Something drew me there. I didn't know at the time what it was, but I soon found out as that woman confessed my mothers adultery, and the existence of my twin. I saw him through the crowd speaking to my mother, and then, the mob descended on him. It happened so quickly. They tied him to the stake and lit the fire. I tried to save him. I tried to pull him down from the stake. My hands were burning but I felt nothing. My brother was dying. He begged me to leave, but I wouldn't. How could I? They tore us apart once; I was not going to let them tear us apart again. But they pulled me away. I wanted to die with my brother, but they wouldn't let me. I was heir to my father's fortune. My mother had some men pull me from the embers. I cursed her for it!" ‘Jonathon' said in a venomous voice that shocked Brian and Rena.

"Wait, I thought Alexander placed the curse on our family." Brian asked, but ‘Jonathon' didn't hear him. He could only hear Rena's voice.

Brian turned to Rena and motion for her to ask him to explain.

"Jonathon, are you aware that Alexander had cursed your mother, and all her male descendants before he died?" She asked.

‘Jonathon' wiped his tear soaked face on the mattress then lifted his head to look at his brother, not letting go of his grip on him.

"Yes. My mother told me. She said I should hold no loyalty to my own brother because he had cursed our family for seven generations. As if that matter. He was my brother. My twin brother. She didn't understand I felt his pain, not just the physical, but the emotional. I now carried his grief, and need for vengeance. I scoffed at her and swore Alexander's death would be avenged. I told her that he was being kind in cursing us for only seven generations. I told her that the curse would never be lifted until the wrong that was done was righted!" Jonathon recounted the events of that day.

 

 _...Until the wrong is right again....This curse will never ever end..._

 

"He added on to the curse." Brian whispered.

"Ask him what was the wrong." Brian said to Rena.

"I think that's obvious." Rena snorted.

"Just fucking ask him!" Brian snapped. It was Justin who suggested that the wrong might not be the execution.

"Jonathon, what wrong needed to be righted?" Rena asked.

‘Jonathon' turned to look at her with pained eyes.

"They took my brother from me. Separated us at birth. They had no right..." He answered solefully.

Brian furrowed his brow in confusion. How the fuck were they to right that now??? After all this time?

"Ask him how to break the curse." Brian instructed.

Rena turned back to Justin.

"Jonathon, how can we right the wrong? The curse still exists; many have suffered over the years because of it, and continue to suffer. Tell us how to break the curse." Rena asked.

Justin looked at her with a blank stare.

"I don't know." He said dejectedly. Though it was Jonathon speaking still, not Justin.

"Fuck!" Brian cursed.

"I know." Came Alexander's voice from the bed.

All eyes turned to him. He laid still, eyes closed. Brian was starting to wonder if they heard him, or if it was their imagination.

"Will you tell us Alexander?" Rena asked the prone body.

Alexander slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to look at his brother. His gaze traveled along his face, down to their hands, which were still clasped tightly together. He smiled and lifted their hands up.

"This is how. The curse was lifted the moment my brother took my hand in his. We are rejoined now. The wrong, has been righted." Alexander proclaimed.

‘Jonathon' smiled at Alexander and brought their hands up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on their entwined fingers.

"I don't understand." Rena said.

"Justin and Andy were together for weeks now. Did that mean the curse has been broken all this time?" She asked Brian.

"No. The curse wasn't broken until ‘Jonathon' and ‘Alexander' came together again. Look at them Re. Have you ever seen Justin look at Andy like that? Or Andy look at Justin like that? No. These are two long lost brothers who have finally, found each other. Elliot was right all along. All it took was for them, for all of us, to know ourselves. For Justin to remember he was Jonathon in his past life, for Andy to remember his life as Alexander, and for me to remember that nothing, not even death, could take my love from me." Brian said. His voice was thick with emotion.

Rena looked back at the two brothers holding each other's hand. Her heart melted at the look of love and joy in their eyes.

"It's time for me to go brother." Alexander said holding ‘Jonathon's' gaze.

"Take me with you." Jonathon made the sincere request, and again, Brian's heart pained at hearing it. But he reminded himself of their love, and its' strength. If ‘Jonathon' decided to go with his brother, then it was only time before he would join him.

"I cannot. You have a life here, mine is gone. You must fulfill your destiny here. In time we will be together again." Alexander said then looked over at Brian.

"All of us." He added.

Brian's eyes widened at his words. He directed them to him!

"Yes, we will." Brian answered, wondering if Alexander would hear him.

Alexander just smiled in response and turned his attention back to ‘Jonathon'.

"I will miss you." ‘Jonathon' said.

"And I you. Until then, know you are always with me, as I am with you." Alexander said.

Alexander gently pulled his hand away from ‘Jonathon's' and turned his head away. He immediately fell into a deep sleep.

Justin got a little dizzy when the contact was broken. He felt cold suddenly, and confused.

"Brian...." He called out.

Brian rushed to his side and took him in his arms.

"I'm here Sunshine." He whispered against his temple as he place a gentle kiss there.

Justin held on to him and tried to regain his equilibrium.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Alexander was reunited with his brother, Jonathon. The curse is broken." Brian said in a choked voice.

"The curse is broken." He repeated quietly.

Justin cried out and hugged Brian closer.

"Oh God, thank you. Thank you!" He said.

Brian pulled back from Justin and took his hand in his own and turned it over. The palm was blistered. Justin looked down at his own hand noticing the burn, and registering the pain.

"Fuck this hurts! How did this happen?" Justin asked.

"It's a long story. Wait here while I get you a wet cloth." He said.

Brian disappeared into the bathroom. Rena got up and examined Justin's hand.

"It's not so bad. It will hurt like a bitch, but it will heal quickly." She said.

Brian came out of the bathroom with a cold wet rag.

"There's no first aid kit in there. We need to get him to a hospital." He said as he wrapped the cool cloth around Justin's hand.

Justin sighed in relief at the feel of it.

"He'll be fine Bean. Stop over reacting." She said and winked at Justin.

Brian snorted.

"I don't over react." He stated.

Both Rena and Justin rolled their eyes.

"So you got him to remember." Justin asked Rena.

"Yes, I did." Rena replied.

"And? How is he?" Just said turning his gaze to the sleeping man on the bed.

"Well, that's yet to be seen. I need to bring him out. He's still under. I'm surprised you came out of it without my aid. Though you went under without my aid, so maybe it's not so surprising." Rena said.

Justin looked at her confused.

"What do you mean I went under? I was hypnotized?" He asked.

"I'll fill you in later Sunshine. But yes, you were." He said.

"So can I bring him out of it now or are you going to muzzle me again?" Rena asked.

Brian laughed.

"No more muzzling. You may bring him out. I hope Andy is as much at peace with everything as Alexander is now." Brian said.

"Well we're about to find out." Rena said.

Rena proceeded to bring Andy out of his hypnotic state.

 

".....4...3...2...1...." She ended her count.

 

Brian watched as Andy slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times then looked at Brian with confused eyes.

Brian leaned over and smiled into his brother's face.

"Hey there bro. How are you feeling?" He asked.

Andy rubbed his eyes then turned them to Justin.

"Andy?" Brian called his name, getting more concerned by the second.

"Andy? Mr. Kinney, why are you calling me Andy?"

Brian snapped his body upright and took a step back. His eyes widened in horror, and his heart pounded in his chest. He heard Rena gasp beside him.

Justin ran to his side and held him. Brian turned hurt, pained eyes to him.

"He's gone. My brother's gone and I never got to say goodbye." He said then broke down in Justin's arms and cried.


	27. The Greatest Gift

**"I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three."**

 

 _2 weeks later- The Chateau....._

Brian inspected the huge array of colorful presents on the sideboard table with a discerning eye. Satisfied with the artful display, he started to turn away when an oddly wrapped box peeking out from the bottom of the pile caught his attention. Gingerly he pulled it out. His eyes widened in shock upon closer examination.

"Andrew Taylor-Kinney!" He bellowed for his son.

Justin came rushing out of the kitchen.

"What are you shouting about?!" He demanded.

He'd been working all day with Louis, Viv's cook, on the preparations for the celebration diner, a task that was proving to be daunting in the extreme, when he heard Brian's outburst. Part of him was grateful for the interruption, yet another part of him was concerned.

Brian turned to him with furious eyes and presented the oddly wrapped gift box to him.

Justin put his hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle the laugh that threatened to spill forth.

Brian was not amused.

"This is NOT funny!" He said.

"Oh come on Bri! You have to admit, it's kind of ingenious! Our son is very creative. I'm sure he gets that from me." Justin replied with a wry smirk.

"Creativity is not the only trait he's inherited from you. He's also got your impulsive, reckless nature!" Brian returned.

Justin shook his head laughing and took the box from Brian.

"Now wait a minute, according to Mikey, it was YOU who plotted to blow up chemistry class in sixth grade. I'd call that a bit ‘reckless,' wouldn't you? Besides, you have to admit our sons' schanigans are always original and daring. That's all you Bri." Justin said as he gave the box a closer look.

Brian snorted.

"This goes beyond daring! It's... it's....well just down right disrespectful!" Brian spat out.

Justin laughed heartily this time.

"Justin, it's a $300 tie! I did NOT loan him my $300 Gucci silk jacquard tie to use as ribbon decorations or his Auntie Em's birthday gift!" Brian lamented.

"Well then you should have asked him what he wanted to use the tie for. He's only six Bri, what did you expect?" He asked turning his head toward the sound of his sons' tiny footsteps racing down the stairs.

"I assumed he wanted to wear it to the party. Though knowing his penchant for mischief, I should be happy he didn't use it to tie up one of his siblings!" Brian whispered into Justin's ear, not wanting his son to hear him.

"What's up Dad?" Andy said as he bravely walked up to his father, mindless of the severe tone of his Dad's voice, or the stern look on his face.

Brian grabbed the box from Justin and turned to show it to his son.

"Is this your present to Aunty Em?" Brian asked him.

Andy smiled brightly up at his father. "Yeah! I wrapped it myself!" The boy boasted proudly.

Brian was having a hard time keeping the disapproving look on his face. His son was clever, he had to admit, and he couldn't fault the fearless way he stood before him. It actually made Brian's chest fill with fatherly pride. His son had a bold confidence that would serve him well in life. Though his willfulness might very well shorten his own he thought abjectly.

"Well, huh hum.." Brian cleared his throat.

"Don't you like it Dad? I used the fancy tie you gave me cause I know you only buy the best and Auntie Em deserves the best. You said so yourself." His son said. A worried frown etched the corners of his tiny mouth.

Brian let out a heavy defeated sigh. His children where also very adept at manipulating him to get their way. Another talent no doubt inherited from their Daddy.

"It's perfect." He relented.

His son was so proud of his handiwork; Brian didn't have the heart to scold him for using his tie to create his ‘masterpiece.'

Andy's smile grew wider at his father's praise.

"Thanks Dad!" The boy beamed with joy.

Brian's heart swelled. He handed the package back to Justin and picked his son up.

"Do your old man a favor, next time you ask to borrow something of mine remind me to ask you want you intend to use it for, ok?" Brian asked his son then ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek.

Andy let out an adorable giggle.

"Ok Dad. I promise." He said then wiggled his way out of his fathers' arms and ran back up the stairs.

Brian smiled at his sons' retreating form, enchanted by his youthful zeal.

"Softie." Justin murmured behind him as he placed the package back on the pile with the rest of the gifts.

Brian growled as he turned his attention back to Justin.

"I'd be very careful using that particular term when referring to me Sunshine. It could land you in a lot of trouble." Brian teased.

Justin cast him a sideward, sexy glance.

"Hmm...What kind of trouble are we talking about?" Justin asked seductively.

Brian reached out and pulled him abruptly up against his body.

"The kind that will land you flat on your back." Brian said huskily then proceeded to nip at Justin's neck.

Justin moaned deeply and pressed himself more firmly against Brian.

"Oh yes...I seem to recall liking that kind of trouble very much. But maybe you should remind me." He requested heatedly.

Brian briefly contemplated clearing the neatly pile of gifts off the sideboard table with one sweep of his hand and throwing his blonde over it to have his way with him when they were interrupted.

"We're back!"

Lizzy's voice washed over them like a cold bucket of water.

Brian dropped his head and cursed. He begrudgingly remembered they had a house full of guests.

Whatever made him think he could get away with ravishing his blonde in the middle of the day, right there in the dinning room? Brian smiled to himself. He knew exactly what possessed him. He never could think clearly when he had his arms filled with Sunshine.

Justin reluctantly pried himself from Brian's grasp and faced his daughter. She and Jason stood in the living room, each carrying two enormous bouquets of colorful balloons.

"Oh my God they're beautiful! Emmett is going to love them!" Justin exclaimed.

"There's more in the Van." Jason said.

He and Lizzy were in charge of the decorations for Emmett's birthday party.

The party was Brian's idea. He had flown in all of their family, (well those who weren't already there. Lins, Mel and Gus arrived last week), for the party. Jagger and Corrine were also flying in, though Jagger could only stay the day because he had a concert in Milan the following evening. Whether or not Corrine would go back with him on tour was a concern both Brian and Justin shared.

Apparently, the stress of the tour was wearing on their relationship. But Brian insisted that everyone be there, no exceptions. Brian was looking forward to talking to Jagger. He felt guilty for not being able to talk to him during his last visit but once Jagger found out his Dad's were ok, and Jason was ‘back to normal', he and Corrine returned to London. His schedule was too tight to waste any time. Brian would make sure he found time to talk to him, alone, before he left again. The boy needed his Dad.

However his first priority at the moment was making sure everything was perfect for Emmett's birthday party.

Emmett had proven to be the glue that held the family together when Brian and Justin faced troubled times. He was always there for them when tragedy struck. Over the years, he'd been a loyal friend and loving ‘Aunt' to their children, always eager to lend a helping hand when needed.

This past month could have been a total disaster if not for Emmett's help. He once again stepped in when they needed him and helped keep things ‘sane' within the family. Not only did he take care of things home while Brian dealt with Justin's memory loss, and the curse, he came up with the ‘story' of why Jason had been acting peculiar the past few weeks. He convinced the family that Jason suffered from a head injury that was caused by his car accident and resulted in him losing all memory of the past four weeks. Brian couldn't have thought of a better explanation.

Emmett's friendship and loyalty was immeasurable. This party was just a small gesture of his and Justin's gratitude and love for him and Brian wanted it to be perfect. Justin turned to Brian.

"Aren't the balloons beautiful Bri?" He asked nervously, watching for Brian's reaction.

Brian shook himself from his thoughts and nodded briefly before turning away to leave the room.

Justin frowned and turned back to face Jason. He shrugged his shoulders apologetically not knowing what to say.

Brian's behavior towards Jason was less then friendly since he got out of the hospital.

When Jason woke up two weeks ago in the cabin, he had no memory of how he got there, or anything else that happened in the past month. He didn't even realize he was in France. In fact, the only thing he did remember was rushing to the airport to get to Lizzy having heard she was in an accident. He didn't even remember his own accident.

Rena had him admitted to the hospital for extensive testing, all of which came back normal. The doctors said his condition was an anomaly, but not totally unheard of. They had no idea whether his memory would return or not, but they gave him a clean bill of health and sent him home. Or more accurately, back to the Château and Lizzy, where the two have been inseparable since.

Everyone was happy for their loving reunion. Everyone but Brian that was. He made it a point to avoid Jason when ever possible.

Lizzy was hurt, not understanding why her father was acting so cold toward Jason all of a sudden. She thought maybe he resented the trouble and confusion Jason caused the family because of his brain injury. The rest of the family however believed Brian was just being his usual ‘over protective' self. Lizzy was his eldest daughter. He needed someone to practice on before Maria became a teen. She was just six and already giving Brian gray hairs.

None of them, except for Rena and Justin, and perhaps Emmett and James, knew the true reasons for Brian's aloofness towards Jason.

Since that day two weeks ago in the cabin, when they broke the curse, and Andy left Jason's body with out Brian having a chance to say goodbye, Brian kept his distance from Jason.

He just couldn't face the boy without thinking of his brother. He was still grieving his loss though no one in the family was aware of it. To them, he was the epitome of the ‘old' Brian. He appeared to have bounced back from the events of the past weeks unaffected.

Some days he even had Justin fooled. But then night would fall. And the one place Brian could never fool Justin was in bed.

Each night when Brian took him into his arms Justin felt his pain. Often, they would find themselves drenched in sweat and tears after an intense session of lovemaking. He hardly slept, and when he did it was a restless sleep. He would clutch Justin to him tightly as if he were afraid once he closed his eyes, Justin would disappear too. But when morning came, Brian would shed his grief and don his swaggering, self indulgent, happy go lucky persona to present to the world.

Justin was starting to become concerned. Though he was beyond grateful they had broken the curse, and Jason was returned to his body, he hated how it all ended. It only seemed fair that after everything Brian and Andy went through in their lives, they'd get a chance to say goodbye to each other properly. But apparently life, and in this case, the after life, was not always fair. The first time Brian was forced to say goodbye to his brother he had to do so right after taking his life. Their goodbye was tainted by that act, though each knew it was an act of love. Justin didn't understand why the powers that be would be so cruel as to send Andy back to earth to help Brian only to snatch him away again before they had a chance to have a proper parting. It just wasn't fair and it made Justin angry.

"It's ok Justin. I understand. He'll warm up to me." Jason said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Justin nodded sadly.

"Well that's a worry for another day. Today is Emmett's day! Now why don't you two go get the rest of the decorations and let's get this place ready! I want it as glittery and ostentatious as you can make it!" Justin said.

Lizzy laughed.

"Auntie Em is going to freak when he sees it! What time is Uncle James bringing him home?" Lizzy asked.

James had taken Emmett away for a few days to explore France fully. James spent a lot of time in France with Viv and Rena and was determined his Em appreciate the full beauty of it. Plus he felt Emmett could use a little R&R after the families' recent ordeal.

Brian approached James with his plans to throw Emmett a huge bash to celebrate his birthday and James was ecstatic at the idea. He promised to have Emmett back in time for it.

"He called about an hour ago. They should be arriving back around six tonight. Which doesn't leave us much time to get everything ready." Justin said.

"Six? That gives us plenty of time!" Lizzy said.

Justin made a rude sound in the back of his throat.

"Not if you got one stubborn chef who refuses to make your Auntie's Em favorite dish to deal with." Justin said.

"Hmmm... I hadn't thought of that. Maybe Dad was right, you should have hired a caterer. Louis is impossible!" Lizzy remarked.

"I know, but he's been with Viv forever, I didn't want to insult him. Besides, though he and Emmett trade insults on a regular basis, I know they each appreciate and respect the others cooking talents. Emmett confessed to me that he actually liked Louis Crème Brulee." Justin said in a conspiratorial tone.

Lizzy and Jason laughed.

"Ok Daddy, if you say so. We'll get started on the decorations and let you deal with the food." Lizzy said.

"Deb and Carl are out in the solarium waiting for you. You know your grandma Deb wants her hands in on the decorations. We want the place really showy and you know ‘Gaudy' is her specialty." Justin said and winked at Lizzy.

He gently turned them towards the solarium and went in search of Brian.

 

He found him outside in the garden talking to Michael and Adam. All three men looked serious. Too serious for Justin's liking.

"Um, this is a party, not a funeral. Why the long faces?" Justin asked as he walked up to them.

Brian turned to face Justin. His face was stoic. Not a good sign.

"Sorry Justin. It's my fault. You know what a big mouth I have." Michael said casting Justin one of his doey eyed innocent looks.

Justin wasn't buying it. If Michael said anything to upset Brian, especially with all the shit they just went through, and the shit they've yet to deal with, Justin swore he'd smack him so hard it would make one of Deb's smacks feel like a love tap. Ok, so all of Deb's smacks were technically ‘love taps', but Justin was not going to quibble over details.

"What the fuck did you say?" Justin asked Michael glaring at him with his hands on his hips.

"Justin, Mikey has a favor he wants to ask us, though he should have waited for Ben and you to be present before he asked." Brian informed Justin.

Ben was out bicycling the country roads with Ted, Blake, Gus and Johnny. Justin looked over at Brian.

"What favor? And how is Adam involved?" Justin asked, picking up on the fact that Adam was obviously involved some how since he was standing there looking very uncomfortable at the moment.

"I didn't mean to just blurt it out! I'm sorry! Ben and I talked to Adam first because we wanted some legal advice before confronting both of you. We really intended to approach you and Brian together, but we were just now talking about Adeline's and your baby and it just, well, you know me. It slipped out!" Michael was babbling.

Justin had no idea what Michael was going on about but his spine stiffened at the mention of the baby. His baby. He and Brian hadn't had much time to talk about what they were going to do about Adeline.

Adeline was released from the hospital last week, same day Justin had his cast removed, and was now living up at the cabin with a full time private nurse Brian had hired to look after her. Or more accurately, to look after Justin's baby. Brian couldn't bring himself yet to think of the baby as Adeline's. He always referred to baby as Justin's. He was still angry with her for what she did. When it came to his Sunshine, Brian was not a very forgiving man. But she was carrying the love of his life's child and Brian was very protective of that. The baby was after all, a part of Justin.

They had two brief conversations about the future of the baby and each ended badly. Brian wanted to fight for full custody and Justin felt that would be too cruel to both Adeline and the baby.

When they hired Lucy to be surrogate to their twins, they decided that Lucy would always be a part of the twin's lives. Though she didn't live with them, or in the same state since getting remarried, she always kept in touch. The twins knew of their birth mother and how she gave Brian and Justin the priceless gift of giving birth to them so that they could be their Daddies. When they got older, and wanted more information, they agreed they would fill them in on the details.

Brian understood how important it was to their children to know about their mother, and know they were born out of love. That's why it upset Justin that he didn't see how adversely it would affect Adeline's and his baby should they take the baby away from her, and deny her all contact, as Brian wanted to do. The baby may have not be conceived in love, but he and Adeline both loved the baby immensely regardless of the circumstances of its' birth.

Brian however couldn't get past the circumstances of the birth.

After the last conversation they had Justin decided that Brian wasn't ready to talk reasonably about it yet. He was still too raw from what happened to Andy so he backed off, allowing Brian time to grieve the loss of his brother before broaching the subject again. Since the baby wouldn't be born for several more months, they agreed to table any further discussion concerning the baby's future for a while.

That's why it came as a bit of a shock that Brian was talking to Michael and Adam about it. He turned confused eyes to Brian.

"You were talking about the baby?" he asked, though his tone sounded more like an accusation.

Brian raised his eyebrow and was about to respond when Mikey was once again afflicted with a bout of verbal diarrhea.

"Oh yes! Brian was telling us how you guys might need to find a new Nanny since Fran's been hinting that her biological clock was ticking and you guy's might be losing her if she found some smuck who was either blind, deaf, or stupid enough to marry her." Michael said.

Justin sent him a disapproving look.

"Hey, his words, not mine!" Michael defended.

"Well it's too soon to be talking about hiring a new nanny or anything yet." Justin said throwing Brian a meaningful glance.

Brian caught it, but did not appreciate it.

"That's when I just blurted out what Ben and I want to do." Michael continued.

"Michael what the fuck are you talking about?" Justin said, clearly agitated at this point.

"Justin, Mikey and Ben want to have a baby." Adam said deciding it was time he joined the conversation. Actually, he felt it was time he saved Michael from saying anything else that was unproductive to his cause.

Justin's eyes widened and a smile spread across his face.

"That's great!" He said then went over and gave Michael a hug.

Brian snorted.

"Is it?" He barked out sarcastically.

Justin looked back at him.

"What's wrong with you! It's great news! Why do you have to be so cynical all the time?!" Justin scolded.

"Maybe because I seem to be the only one these days who actually thinks about the consequences of bringing a new life into a world in less then perfect circumstances!" Brian bit back.

His words stung, and hurt Justin. There was no mistaking the implications of his words. He was inferring that his baby was being born into circumstances that were at best complicated.

"Don't, this isn't about us. Well, not in the way you think." Brian said reading Justin perfectly.

"Isn't it?" Justin challenged.

"No. It's about Mikey and Ben. Ben's doing well these days, but lets not forget he was hospitalized just a few months ago for a cold that turned into pneumonia. He's healthy now, but what about five, ten years down the road?" Brian said.

Michael lowered his head, his eyes filled with tears.

"Jesus Brian.." Justin said and put his arm around Michael.

"No Justin, I have to say this." Brian said then pulled Michael away from Justin and turned him around to face him.

"Mikey I love you, you know this. I don't want to see you hurt. Or your baby. Say you have the baby, say everything is fine for a while then Ben gets sick. It's bad enough that you'll have to go through that; do you honestly want your child to go through it too?" Brian said.

Justin shook his head sadly at Brian's words.

"When are you going to realize that you can't protect everyone from harm? Life is painful. No one is more aware of that then us. Maybe what you are saying is true. Maybe they'll be pain in their lives but you know there'll also be lots of love, and good times. Isn't that worth it? Isn't that what life's all about? Look at all we've been through, if you had know before we had the twins the pain we would be subjected to would you have opted not to have them?" Justin asked.

"That's an unfair question. We did have them and I can't imagine ever not wanting to have them." Brian answered.

"Well then give Michael and Ben the same courtesy. Maybe they can't imagine not having a child in their lives." Justin said.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. His blonde was always way smarter then him when it came to matters of the heart.

Michael turned to Justin and gave him a big hug.

"Thanks Justin. I knew you'd understand. Ben and I know the risks, but we're willing to take it. Whatever time we have will be lived in love. Now how can that be bad for any child? We're all going to die, you said so yourself Bri. You told me once that I may die before Ben. I could get hit by a bus. You were right. I know many people say that living with a person with Aids is like living with death. Well that's bullshit. Ben and I choose to live in the presence of life. And we want to share what life we have with a child. " He said profoundly.

All three men stared at Michael like he just grew two heads. Zen Ben had most definitely rubbed off on little Mikey Brian thought.

"See Brian, how can you argue with that?" Justin said smugly.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and poked his tongue in the side of his cheek.

"Uh huh. Yeah, well while we're all being so altruistic about this, I'm sure you won't mind then granting Mikey's request." Brian said to Justin with a hint of sarcasm.

"What do you need Michael, you know Brian and I will do anything to help you and Ben." Justin said with his chin raised defiantly.

Brian chuckled.

"He wants our permission to use my sperm." Brian said.

Justin's jaw dropped open. Brian laughed. He knew his blonde wasn't expecting that.

"Your sperm!" Justin blurted out.

"Yeah, we would like Brian to be the donor. You see I've been tested, and apparently I have a very low sperm count. The doctor's say it would be highly unlikely that I'll be able to farther a child. It could take a long time, and as Brian pointed out, time is important to us. We want the child as soon as possible so Ben and I can have as much time with it as possible. God willing, we'll both be around when he or she becomes a parent themselves! But.. well...who knows....I understand how weird this is, but would you please consider it? If Brian is the donor, our children would be related." Michael tried to explain.

"Michael don't you think considering how close you and Brian are that him fathering yours and Bens baby would be a bit awkward?" Justin asked.

"Oh, so now it's awkward is it? A minute ago you were sprouting shit about how life is unpredictable to begin with, and how we should all just accept it and hold hands and sing Kum ba ya!" Brian bit out.

"I did not say that!" Justin defended.

"Well it was close enough." Brian retorted.

Justin glowered at Brian. He hated when he was right. And he hated being ambushed. He gave that pretty little speech before he knew who Michael wanted to father his child. Now he understood Brian's reluctance. It would be awkward. Brian wouldn't be able to be just the sperm donor to the baby. He tried that with Gus, it didn't work. He ended up fighting for his parental rights back after giving them up. Thank God Mel and Lins didn't put up too much of a fight. He would never make the mistake of giving up his rights to any of his kids again. Surely Michael knew this. Brian would want to be part of the child's life. He wondered if he and Ben took that into consideration. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

Of course they took that into consideration. They were probably counting on Brian wanting to be a part of the baby's life.

Ben was no fool. He acknowledged the very real possibility that he wouldn't be around for the long haul. If he were to die, he'd want someone to be there for Michael, and his child. Not that Brian wouldn't be there for them when and if the time came, he would of course, but it would be so much easier on them, especially the child, if Brian were involved in the child's life from birth. Michael would not do well as a single parent. Not for a while at least. Losing Ben was going to devastate Michael in ways only Brian and Ben knew. He wouldn't be able to deal with his son's grief if he couldn't deal with his own. That's why Ben wanted Brian to father their child. Brian would have a bond with the child that would be needed should he have to face the death of one Dad, and have to deal with another Dad too buried in grief to support him. Ben was counting on Brian to be the child's third Dad. The one he can count on for support. Justin was sure of it. Ben was more pragmatic of the two.

Michael's reasons for wanting Brian to father their child were much more simplistic. He loved Brian as much, if not more than Ben, though the two loves were very different. If Ben or he couldn't father their child, Brian was the next best thing. Justin couldn't imagine Michael loving any child as much as he would love Brian's child. Ben's motive for wanting Brian to father the child was more logistical. One day his son or daughter was going to need at least one father to lean on when he met his demise. Justin wondered what Brian's answer would be once he realized the motives behind the request.

"Michael, this is Brian's decision of course, but I do think it needs a lot more discussion." Justin said.

"Ya think?" Brian added, again his tone was sarcastic.

"Yes, of course, I understand. I just ask we keep this between us for now. It's bad enough I have to tell Ben I blurted it out without him." Michael said.

"Well please don't tell him tonight! I don't want anything to spoil Emmett's party. We'll discuss it tomorrow, ok?" Justin asked.

Michael smiled and nodded.

"Sure. No problem. We're all looking forward to this party!" He said.

"Shane and the kids have been working all day on the photo board. It's looking great though I have to admit it's really odd seeing a tiny ‘princess' version of Emmett. I didn't realize he came from such a large family." Adam said grateful to be able to change the topic of conversation.

Justin had gotten in touch with Kelly, the one sister Emmett still talked to and asked her for childhood photo's of Emmett to make a ‘through the years' poster board for Emmett's birthday party. She not only agreed to send the pictures, but also informed them she wanted to come to the party. Of course Brian insisted he pay her plane fare there but she refused. Kelly was Emmett's baby sister and a bit of a rebel herself. She was living in California with her much older husband who owned a tattoo parlor. She and her husband arrived yesterday and were staying at the Paris Hilton, courtesy of the family. Her appearance at the party was just one birthday surprise they planned for Emmett.

"Yeah well let's hope that ‘walk down memory lane' board evokes some good memories. There's a reason he left Hazlehurst Missouri." Brian said.

Justin rolled his eyes.

"Always the optimist." He said sarcastically.

"Always the dreamer." Brian retorted then pulled Justin in for a kiss.

Michael and Adam laughed.

"The perfect couple." Adam said.

"Speaking of couples, I think I better get back before my better half comes home and finds I've been out here talking to you guys. He knows what a big mouth I got!" Michael said.

"And he complains about that?" Brian mocked in jest.

"Ha ha. Not usually, as long as I put it to good use." Michael teased back.

"As much as I'd like to stand around here and compare fellatio techniques I think it's time I took my leave. Come on Romeo, I'll walk up to the house with you. I'm sure my better half has some chores for me to do that regretfully doesn't include oral sex. Having three kids kind of puts a damper on spontaneous sex." Adam said.

"I'm surprised you have sex at all with three kids running around." Michael said laughing.

"We have seven kids and it hasn't affected our sex life at all. Before I came out here I was ready to throw Justin over the table and fuck his brains out." Brian said tongue in cheek.

"Eight." Justin corrected. His voice was tight. His child wasn't born yet, but he still counted damn it! Brian was so obtuse at times it frustrated him. Not because he was obtuse, but because he was purposely so.

An awkward silence ensued.

"Um ok, we'll just be going now. You guys coming?" Michael asked.

"No, go ahead. We'll be up in a few." Justin answered for them.

Brian raised his brow but didn't object.

Justin took Brian's hand and led him over to the bench as Michael and Adam walked away.

Brian laid back on the hard cement bench with one leg bent up, giving Justin room to sit while his other leg hung over the side. Justin sat down next to him and put his hand on his knee.

"Never a dull moment huh?" He said lifting his face to the Sun.

Brian reached over and pulled a strand of grass from the lawn and twirled it between his fingers.

"Apparently not." He answered flippantly.

Justin looked over at him.

"You're going to give them your sperm, aren't you?" He asked.

"Yeah. I can't let them down. Are you ok with that?" Brian asked.

Justin smiled. He wasn't surprised Brian caught on to their motives so quickly. He was always very astute when it came to those he loved. He knew exactly why they asked him to be the donor and he approved. How could he not? Michael and Ben were his family, and they needed him. Would it be easy? Hell no, but what in life worth having ever came easy?

"Of course I am. Michael and Ben are family. We'll work it out." Justin said.

Justin sighed peacefully.

"Our family just keeps getting bigger and bigger." Justin remarked.

"Does look that way." Brian said wistfully.

"So, we're both going to be fathers, again." Justin said.

Brian sat up and looked at Justin.

"Hey, I'm an ass, ok? You know I already love your baby, our baby, and I'd never do anything to harm him, or his mother. We'll find a way to keep Adeline in his life. I promise. And yes, I said his life. I know it's going to be a boy." Brian said giving Justin one of his ‘I'm never wrong' smiles. Justin tilted his head and smiled back.

"You think?" He asked.

"I wouldn't mind another girl you know." He said.

"Neither would I, but this one is a boy. I can tell." Brian said confidently then lay back down.

"Well then, lets hope yours will be a girl. Hey, who do you think they'll get to carry the child?" Justin asked.

"I think they intend to use the same agency we did. At least that's what Adam suggested." Brian said.

Justin nodded his head.

"It's a good agency. We got two beautiful children to attest to that." Justin said.

"Hmm...two brats you mean." Brian remarked impishly.

Justin slapped his knee playfully.

"If they're brats it's because they follow their Dad's lead." Justin said.

Brian laughed.

They sat there in the afternoon sun in silence. Each enjoying the warm summer breeze, the fragrant air and each others' company.

Several long minutes past before Justin spoke again.

"You have to let him go Bri." He said.

Brian laughed bitterly. The easy moment they were sharing vanished with Justin's words.

"Like Jonathon let Alexander go? Wait, you don't remember that do you? Well I do. They had a chance to say goodbye! Lucky them. It was quite touching actually; you should have been there. Unfortunately I wasn't granted that same privilege." Brian bit out sarcastically. Justin flinched at the pain in his voice.

"I know it's not fair. I wish you had the chance to say goodbye to Andy, but you didn't. And he's moved on. Now it's time you did." Justin said.

Brian's inability to let go of Andy was what was at the core of his indifference towards Jason, his nonchalant attitude towards Adeline and the baby and what was keeping him up at nights. Justin needed Brian to see that and to get past it.

Brian sat up again.

"I have." He said flatly.

"No, you haven't. When you let go of the pain, then I'll know you have." Justin said.

Brian looked into Justin's eyes.

Justin's heart ached. His eyes filled with tears at the pain he saw in his lovers' eyes.

"Tell me how Sunshine. Tell me how to stop feeling this way. How to let go of the bitterness I have at the cruelty of the fates that would allow this to happen to us again? Not once but twice they took him away from me without allowing me the opportunity to say goodbye. To tell him how much being his brother meant to me. How he was my role model, and how it was because of him and the love he showed me, that I was able to love again when you came along. I never got the chance to thank him for believing in me when no one else did, for making me believe in myself! Because of him I am here today with you. How do you thank a person for giving you your life when you took away his? Maybe that's why I'm being punished." Brian said, his emotions open and raw.

"Oh no Brian you can't think that! What you did for Andy was the most selfless act of love ever! You can't believe you're being punished for that! Didn't Gabriel tell you to let go of your selfish ways? Well by holding on to this anger and bitterness you're being selfish! Andy loves you! Always has and always will. And he knows how much you loved him! You don't need to say the words, he knew, he knows still!" Justin cried out.

"Really Justin? I don't need to say the words? Bullshit, and you know it. You know I love you, you've always known it, yet saying the words ‘means' something to you, doesn't it?" Brian asked.

Justin wiped his tears from his face.

"Yes, it does, but if you never said them, I would still know." Justin answered.

"Yes, you would, but you would always feel like something was missing. You'd always be waiting to hear the words." Brian said.

Justin couldn't deny Brian's claim. In that moment he understood that Brian would always be waiting to say the words to his brother. That his whole life he was going to feel like something was missing and Justin's heart broke in a million pieces at that realization. It wasn't fair damn it! Didn't Brian suffer enough? Why couldn't they see that!

 _'.........WHY.......!'_ His mind screamed out to the powers that be.

Justin grabbed Brian and held on to him tightly. Brian buried his face in the crook of Justin's neck and let his tears fall. He had to get past this pain, for his family's sake. He was so blessed in so many ways; he couldn't let this unfinished business with his brother affect that. They were about to add two new additions to their family. He had to be strong for them, and he would. He would find a way.

Justin was thinking the same thing; only he wasn't going to let Brian do this on his own. This was their faults damn it! The angels who loved to interfere in human lives. He knew there must be some rule against that, Elliot indicated as much. Well fuck that shit! They owed Brian! And Justin was about to cash in on that. He closed his eyes tight and sent up a silent plea for help.

 _".............Elliot! Brian needs you! Help him!.............."_ His mind screamed.

 

Somewhere, in a place between heaven and earth the spirit being summoned heard the plea. Elliot shook his head dejectedly and sighed. "At this rate I'll never get my wings" he thought.

****************************************************

Later that night Justin snuggled up to Brian in the big four-poster bed in their bedroom.

The party was a huge success. Emmett cried tears of joy the whole evening. Justin thought he never saw him happier. And when his sister walked in the room they had to get out the smelling salt. Emmett was such a queen, thank God. They loved him that way. Out of all the gifts he got, including the small vacation home located just outside Paris that Brian and he bought for him, none could compare to having his sister Kelly there at his party.

It was an emotional reunion and everyone was affected. The whole evening was just perfect for Emmett.

Brian was remarkably jovial all evening, much to Justin's surprise. Their conversation out in the garden earlier that evening left them both drained emotionally. It was amazing they had the strength to pull the party together and have it go off as well as it did. But Brian was determined not to have anything spoil Emmett's special day. He even endured Emmett fawning all over him, thanking him ad nausea for the party and his gift, with little complaint.

Justin wondered if his family realized just how strong Brian was.

He reached out and ran his fingers along Brian's cheek. Brian's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey.'

"Hey."

"You happy with the way the party turned out?" Justin asked.

"Hmmm...yeah. Did you see Emmett's face when Kelly walked in?" Brian asked, a sleepy smile spread across his handsome face.

Justin laughed.

"Yeah, that was priceless." He said.

"Thanks to you. I would have never thought to contact his sister." Brian said.

"Yes you would have. You always put family first." Justin said, his voice taking on a serious tone.

Brian's eyes' met his.

"I'm fine." He said seeing the worry in his lovers' eyes.

Justin sighed.

"No, you're not. But you will be." Justin said.

Brian pulled him in for a kiss.

"Yes, I will be.." He said into Justin's mouth. He then proceeded to prove it by pulling Justin beneath him and making love to him.

 

Some time later Justin woke to the dark room with a start. He raised himself up on his elbows and looked over at Brian's sleeping form.

He had one leg draped over Justin's hips and his arm firmly wrapped around his waist. His breathing was steady. He was glad that whatever it was that roused him didn't wake Brian. He hadn't had a decent night sleep in weeks.

Justin turned his head to inspect the room. His eyes scanned the dark interior of the room landing on the big window over looking the garden where he wasn't surprised to see a mist starting to take form.

Elliot.

Justin extracted himself from Brian, careful not to wake him, and walked over to Elliot.

"You came." He whispered, his face shinning with elation at seeing Elliot.

"You know you could have dressed for the occasion." Elliot returned.

Justin looked down at his naked body and blushed. "Um, sorry." He said.

"Don't be. I'm teasing. Human's just don't get my humor." Elliot said.

Justin shrugged his shoulders.

"I wouldn't worry about it. Humor is subjective." Justin returned.

Elliot smiled at Justin's attempt to placate him.

"So, you summoned me. I have to say I was surprised. Word up above is that all is well now in our worlds. The curse is broken." Elliot said.

"Yes, it is and I want to thank you for all your help. We couldn't have done it without you Elliot." Justin said.

"I know." Elliot replied though there was no arrogance in his tone, just a statement of fact.

"Elliot we need your help again. Brian needs your help." Justin said.

"I was only assigned to help with the curse Justin, now that it is ended, there is nothing more I can do for you." Elliot said.

"Then why are you here?" Justin countered.

Elliot smiled. This one was always clever. Too clever he thought.

"Curiosity." He answered.

"Bullshit. You like us. You said so yourself." Justin challenged.

"So what if I do? There is nothing more I can do. I've already over stepped my bounds in helping you as much as I did. Now that the curse is over, I shouldn't even be here talking to you." Elliot said.

"But you are! And I need you Elliot! Brian needs you!" Justin pleaded.

Elliot looked over to bed where Brian laid.

"What ever earthly problems you have you'll have to deal with yourself. I cannot interfere in earthly matters." Elliot said irrevocability.

"But this isn't an earthly matter! Brian's soul is suffering because he and his brother were torn apart again and he never got to say goodbye!" Justin explained.

"There is no goodbyes, I thought you understood that. In time your soul mate will be reunited with his brother. It's only time." Elliot said.

"You know what? That's Bullshit! It's only time to you who live in eternity, but to us mortals' time is important! Brian will live the rest of his earthly life regretting that he never said the words to his brother that are in his heart!" Justin said.

"That is his choice then." Elliot said.

"No it wasn't his choice! You and your Angels fucked with his life! YOU sent Andy back to earth! I know it was to help us break the curse, but still, you interfered; now you tell me you can't interfere again? That's just fucking Bullshit!" Justin said, his voice getting louder.

Brian stirred in his bed. Justin lowered his voice and pleaded with Elliot.

"Elliot, I'm begging you. Don't let Brian suffer anymore. All his life he's sacrificed for those he loved. Please, give him this. All he wants is some time with his brother to say goodbye, time he's earned damn it! Tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it. Anything. But please grant Brian this small favor." Justin said earnestly.

Elliot looked at the pale blonde human before him and sighed. He raised his head to the heavens.

 

 _‘...................I'm going to pay for this, aren't I?..............'_  
He sent up the silently..

 

 _‘..........................You know the rules. You cannot interfere...............'‘_

 

 _.................yeah I know, but I'm going to anyway...........'_ Elliot answered.

 

He looked back down at Justin.

"I'll bring the soul to you." Elliot conceded.

Justin was so grateful he would have hugged him, that was if he were in solid form, but he wasn't, so instead he just thanked him.

"I owe you Elliot." Justin said.

Elliot smiled sadly.

"You have no idea..." he trailed off.

Justin studied Elliot for a moment wondering exactly what price Elliot would pay for helping them. He knew Elliot would have to defy the rules in order to grant his wish, and that defiance was going to cost him. He just hoped it wouldn't cost him too dearly.

"Elliot, they won't...you won't..." Justin couldn't form the words.

"You really do have an over active imagination don't you? It's not like I'm committing a sin, I'm just breaking a few rules. Don't worry, I won't go to Hell. Well, at least not for this." Elliot said. ‘I will however forever forfeit my wings.' He thought to himself, but held that information back from the boy.

Justin let out a relieved breath.

"It is the witching hour. I can not summon him now it would be too dangerous for him to be out amongst the demons of the night. When the time is right, I'll bring him here. You'll have exactly fifteen earth minutes. Make sure your soul mate uses them wisely." Elliot advised.

"The witching hour? What's that?" Justin asked.

"The witching hour is the time between midnight and three in the morning. Earth time. It's when evil spirits have the most power. There is one particular fiend I am worried about when it comes to our young soul. He is a prize too great to pass up." Elliot said.

"Joffith." Justin answered knowing who Elliot was speaking of.

"Yes, Joffith. Nasty piece of work, he'll stop at nothing to claim the soul. Gabriel has protected him up till this point. But I'll have to bring him here without the Angels permission, or protection. That is why I won't risk bringing him here before the hour is ended. Even then we must be careful. Joffith believes the soul lost to him forever now he has entered the gates of Heaven. If he were to find out he was back on earth, witching hour or not, he'll attempt to steal him." Elliot warned.

Justin had a moment of doubt at Elliot's words. He didn't want to put Andy in danger.

"Have you no faith in me?" Elliot asked indignantly having read Justin's thoughts.

Justin blushed embarrassed at being caught.

"I do trust you Elliot. I know you'll keep him safe." Justin reassured him.

Elliot nodded, accepting Justin's trust.

"Very well then, Come 3:05 a.m., not a minute sooner, I will bring the soul to you." He said.

Justin's heart leapt with Joy. Finally, Brian would be reunited with his brother once again. Only this time, they'll be able to say all the things they've been denied for so long.

"I can't thank you enough Elliot." Justin said, emotion thick in his voice.

"Actually you can. Next time, laugh at my jokes." Elliot teased.

Justin smiled at him.

"I promise." He said.

Elliot returned the smile then started to fade away.

"Remember, fifteen minutes, no more." His voice trailed off.

Justin heeded his words as he watched the mist dissipate from the windowsill.

He turned around and went back to the bed. He picked up the alarm clock that sat on the bed side table and set the alarm to three a.m. Though he doubted he would sleep, he didn't want to take any chances.

Once the clock was set, Justin climbed in bed with Brian. Soon, he thought, soon my love you'll have your chance.."

 

Just outside the bedroom window the demon minion Joffith hovered vituperatively.

 _'So the angels agent thought to bring the soul back to earth after the witching hour did he?'_ The foul spirit thought evilly.

 _‘The sow will soon be mine!'_ He vowed to himself. All he had to do was stay out of sight, create a divergence...and wait.

 

**************************************

 

"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........." The alarm went off startling both Justin and Brian from their sleep.

"What the fuck.." Brian said groggily as he sat up to look at the time.

"It's fucking three a.m.!" He said.

Justin turned over and shut the alarm off and turned to Brian.

"I know, I set it for three." Justin said.

Brian furrowed his brow questioningly.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" He said.

Justin's heart was pounding with anticipation, and excitement.

"Because I didn't want to miss our guests." Justin said.

Brian reached out and put his hand on Justin's forehead.

"You feeling ok Sunshine?" He asked.

Justin slapped Brian's hand away.

"Yes I'm fine! Brian listen to me, are you listening?"

"Yeah I'm listening." Brian said.

"I called upon Elliot." Justin said.

Brian sat up in bed abruptly.

"You what?! Wait, he answered you?" Brian asked disbelievingly.

Since that day two weeks ago, all the voices had stopped. The Angels and Elliot disappeared. Brian assumed that like his brother, they were gone forever. He never thought to call upon them again. He didn't think they'd answer.

"Yes, he did. I asked him....." Justin stopped talking because Brian wasn't paying attention to him anymore. His eyes were transfixed on something behind him.

He turned around to see what had caught his attention and was pleasantly surprised to see Andy, the young 17-year-old boy from the picture, standing in their bedroom. His diaphanous form looked back at them with a youthful, blissful smile on his face.

Justin turned back to Brian and his breath caught in his throat at the sheer joy he saw in his lovers' eyes.

"I'll give you two some time alone. Brian, you have only fifteen minutes, no more." Justin said as he got out of bed.

Brian nodded his head absentmindedly, keeping his eyes firmly locked on his brother.

Justin pulled on a pair of sweats and turned to Andy.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to him." Justin said.

"Yes, I do. I've wanted this just as much." Andy answered.

Justin smiled at Andy and turned to leave the room.

"Andy...." Brian called out to his brother.

He felt like he was dreaming.

Andy glided over to him and sat on the bed besides him. Brian reached out to touch him but his hand went right through him.

Andy laughed.

"You can't touch spirits Bean!" Andy admonished playfully.

Brian laughed.

"You're really here though." Brian said; his voice filled with awe.

"Yes, I'm here. Did you think I'd leave without saying goodbye?" Andy said then winked at Brian.

Brian smiled sadly.

"No, you wouldn't. Not if you could help it." Brian said.

"Of course not. Luckily for us, Elliot made this possible. I was giving Gabriel such grief about not being able to say goodbye I seriously thought he'd kick me out of heaven if I didn't shut up." Andy said.

"I doubt that. Not after all he did to get you into heaven," Brian said.

"Where is Elliot by the way?" Brian asked.

"He thought he heard something outside. He went to investigate. He's always looking for demons that one." Andy said.

"Well it is earth, you don't have to look far." Brian remarked.

Andy laughed.

"What's it like? I mean, Heaven." Brian asked suddenly.

"It's indescribable Bean. But you'll find out. Mama is there." Andy said.

Tears formed in Brian's eyes at the mention of Andy's mother, the only mother he knew as a child.

"She say's to tell you she's proud of you. And she loves you." Andy said.

Brian swallowed down his emotions at Andy's words. "I love her too." He said.

"And I love you..." He added.

"I know, I love you too." Andy said.

"Andy... I..."

Now that Brian had his brother here and he could tell him all the things he thought he'd never get the opportunity to say to him, the words just wouldn't come.

"Bean, it's ok. I know. I've always known." Andy said.

Brian shook his head.

"No, I have to say this. I should have told you a long time ago what being your brother meant to me. Mama and Rena loved me, and took me in as their own, but it was you who made me believe in myself. You gave me what Jack couldn't. It was you who showed me how to tie my shoes, and how throw a ball, ride a bike. It was you who taught me how to stand up to bullies and be my own person. And it was you who told me I was smart, and pushed me to be better. Every time Jack would beat any self-respect I had out of me, you made sure I got it back, and built it up. You were my role model, my mentor and my best friend and I loved you completely. Andy, I never would have survived without you. You gave me my life. Including Justin, who you foresaw all those years ago. I can never thank you enough for all that. And I know you felt guilty for what I did for you, I saw it in your eyes every time I walked in your room and I should have told you then that what I was doing was nothing compared to all you did for me! I swear I wish I could have done more. You gave me life, all I gave you was..."

"My soul. Bean, enough. All those things I did for you were just as much for me as they were for you. I had no father. I never thought Emilian my father. And I knew my own future. I knew I'd never grow old, have children, but I had you. I had the experience of playing father, big brother to you. You gave me that. You and Rena. And what you gave me far out weighed anything I gave you. You gave me my soul. You risked your own so that mine may rest in peace. And it did. Though I didn't go to heaven, I was not in Hell. That was because of your sacrifice. And now, again because of you, I am in heaven." Andy said.

"How touching..." An evil voice descended on them.

The air suddenly grew dense and foul.

Andy moved in front of Brian to protect him.

"He's right you know. You did save his soul from Hell. By giving up yours." Joffith's form manifested itself in front of them.

"Go away demon. You have no power here." Andy said bravely.

The evil spirit cackled.

"I have more power than you know fledgling. But you have no need to fear me. Your soul, as you just said, was saved by him. It's his soul that's mine..." Joffith hissed.

"No! I won't allow it!" Andy screeched.

"You no longer have any say in the matter. You said it all when you asked your brother to take your life. You damned his soul to Hell." Joffith said wickedly.

"Don't listen to him Andy. He's lying." Brian said. He wasn't afraid of the demon, or of Hell. He knew full well what he was risking when he took Andy's life and if given the chance he would do it all over again. But he would NOT have this demon make his brother feel the brunt of that guilt.

"Don't believe me. It matters not. I don't want his soul anyway, but I'll take it. That is if I can't have yours. Yours is the soul I seek." Joffith said.

"Well you can't have it so FUCK off!" Brian said angrily.

Joffith shrugged.

"Of course not. That is, not unless he trades his for yours." Joffith said.

Brian felt panic seize his heart.

"Don't you fucking dare Andy!" Brian said knowing his brother so well.

"I'll not let you take my brothers soul demon." Andy said, his voice devoid of any emotion.

"Andy!" Brian screamed out.

 

Justin, who was standing outside the room, heard Brian's shout and ran it.

What he saw made his stomach sick. There was a demon in the room. Just as Elliot warned there might be but where the fuck was Elliot!

"Say the words...say the words and his soul will be spared." The foul creature taunted.

It took Justin all of three seconds to figure out what was going on.

"ELLIOT!!" He screamed.

"I give my soul in exchange for my brothers." Andy spoke the words out loud.

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!" Brian scream. Just then Elliot appeared.

"Joffith, now why am I not surprised to see you here?" Elliot said.

"It's too late Elliot! The soul gave itself up to me! He spoke the words!" Joffith said.

Elliot looked over to Andy. "What did you say?" He asked.

"I traded my soul for my brothers." Andy said.

Elliot let out a groan.

"Elliot you promised me you'd protect him!" Justin said, his eyes pooled with tears.

Elliot looked over at the human. Well he thought, he did promise. He turned back to Joffith.

"Very well. The soul is yours." He said.

"No! It's my soul damn it! He can't barter his for mine with out my permission! I won't allow it!" Brian said desperate to find a way to save his brothers soul.

"Stay out of this human! The deed is done. The soul is mine!" Joffith said with great glee.

"He's right Brian. Stupid, but right. The soul is his. A small, but satisfying prize for his Master. Though he could have a much bigger, more rewarding prize that would surely grant him title of demon, instead of mere minion, if he were smart." Elliot said.

Joffith spun around to face him.

"What tricks play you Elliot? What prize is greater than his soul!" Joffith said, his greed evident.

"My soul." Elliot answered.

Brian, Justin and Andy all gasped.

"Elliot, no, you can't. I won't allow it! You've waited so long for your wings!" Andy said.

"I think any chance of earning my wings have been forfieted a long time ago. Besides, it's my decision. Gabriel would be sorely disappointed if I allowed one of his favorites to be tricked out of his care. The three of you cannot be separated. The trinity of the souls. You are all connected, have been through the centuries, and will continue to be for eternity. I am an agent of the Angels. My soul has no affinities to any but the Angels. I am the greatest prize of all, and Joffith knows it." Elliot said then turned to the demon minion.

"I give my soul to you in exchange for these three souls." Elliot said.

Joffith just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. He could not believe his luck. Not only would he make demon for this catch, but he would be granted powers beyond his imagination.

"Well? Are you just going to stand there with your wretched self or do you accept?" Elliot taunted.

"Jesus Elliot, no. There has to be another way!" Justin said.

Elliot turned to Justin and smiled.

"There is no other way but fear not my friend, I do believe this is by far the most honorable thing I've ever done. And you see, that in itself is worth it. I may not have my wings, but I have something much more valuable. The satisfaction of knowing that heaven will be that much brighter having your soul. It's my gift to the Angels." Elliot said.

He reached out and brushed Justin's cheek. Justin felt an infusion of love go through him.

"Enough of this! I accept! It's time to go." Joffith said.

Elliot turned to Andy.

"When I am gone, go home. You know how." He said.

Andy nodded his head sadly. He was humbled by what the agent had sacrificed for them.

Elliot turned back to Justin.

"Promise me you'll keep your faith." He said as Joffith started dragging him away.

"I promise." Justin called out, tears streaming down his face.

And just like that, they were gone.

"Dear God what have we done?" Justin said.

"It's my fault. I was selfish. Gabriel warned me about being selfish. I wanted to see my brother one more time, so bad, that I risked one of heaven's souls." Brian said.

"No you didn't. You were willing to live with it. I risked it." Justin said.

"Stop it. Both of you. It's done. It is nobody's fault. Elliot did what he had to. It was his choice. I will not rest if I believe you two will go on blaming yourselves for this." Andy said.

"But Andy.." Justin started.

"Justin, what did Elliot just tell you?" Andy asked.

Justin tilted his head.

"Keep my faith?"

"Yes, you must keep your faith. Both of you." Andy said.

Brian looked at his brother. He knew something. Something only someone who's been to heaven could know, could understand.

"We will." Brian answered for both of them.

Justin looked over at Brian with wide eyes. There was no mistaking the sincerity in Brian's voice. Justin never thought Brian would ever have faith in anything outside of their love, but he did. Brian Kinney had faith in God's Will. If that wasn't a miracle, Justin didn't know what was.

"Good." Andy said.

"Now, it's time for me to go Bean."

"I know." Brian said.

Then Andy did something completely unexpected. He stood up and walked into Brian's body.

Brian sucked his breath in and closed his eyes. He stood there, feeling his brother. Feeling all he was feeling. The complete love and blissful harmony. It was so powerful it consumed him to the point he didn't think he could bear it any longer.

Andy stepped out of him and Justin had to rush to Brian's side to hold him up.

"That's what its like." Andy said.

Brian couldn't speak. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Tears of wonder, of awe.

Andy turned towards the window.

"Oh and Bean...it's not what we gave each other, it's what we shared. And there is no thanks needed for that." Andy said.

Brian smiled in acknowledgement. Andy turned and floated out through the window. His form faded in the distance.

"Later." His voice rang out in the room.

"Later." Brian answered.

Brian dropped down onto the bed. Justin fell down besides him.

They lay there quietly for a while before Justin spoke.

"Never a dull moment, huh?"


	28. Full Circle

_....several months later, back at Tremont house..._

 

"Dad!... Daddd!"

Andrew Taylor-Kinney whined pretentiously in an attempt to get his father's attention.

"Not now Andy." Brian said dismissively.

Not to be put off, Andy then tugged on his fathers' shirt.

Brian balanced the phone between his ear and shoulder and walked over to the dark oak Tosca dresser that stood on the far end of the bedroom, dragging his son behind him who had a death grip on his $300 Prada shirt, no doubt wrinkling it beyond repair, and open the bottom drawer to pull out two pairs of jeans.

"Cynthia for fuck sakes can you please just deal with it! I can't be in New York right now! In fact, it maybe at least a week before I can fly out. Who knows how long we'll be at the hospital." He barked into the phone throwing the jeans into the Luis Vuitton suitcase that lay open on the bed.

 

Adeline was admitted into the hospital this morning. Her blood pressure had been all over the place and her sugar levels were high. The doctors said she had preecempsia, which Brian had no fucking clue was, but knew it was bad, and it was advised she be admitted for monitoring. If they couldn't get her vitals stabilized in the next forty-eight hours they were going to perform a C-section. It was still early, she was only thirty-three weeks pregnant, but the alternative could be possible injury, or worse, to her and the baby. Justin and he were extremely worried, and decided that at least one of them should stay at the hospital at all times. Justin was there now, while Brian was back at the house trying to pack a bag for them.

 

"Dad! That's a very bad word! You owe the jar!" His son admonished as he continued to tug on his fathers' shirt.

In an attempt to curb Brian's cursing in the house, Justin set up a jar where Brian would have to put a hundred dollar bill in every time he cursed. To date they'd saved enough money for another trip to France.

Brian stopped packing for a minute and looked down at his son.

"Jesus Christ that jar is going to break me!" Brian said to his son.

"That's another bad word!" Andy said giving his father a disapproving look.

Brian huffed.

"Since when is Jesus Christ a bad word?" Brian asked.

"Daddy says when you say it, it's a bad word." Andy informed his father.

Brian poked his tongue in the side of his cheek.

"Hmm.. I guess your Daddy is right." He said.

"Daddy's always right Dad, geeshhh." Andy said rolling his eyes.

Brian made a face that made his son laugh.

"I'll have you know your Daddy has been wrong on occasion. Now will you please let go of my shirt?" He asked then headed towards the closet to retrieve more clothes to pack.

Andy sighed dismally but kept his grip firm on his fathers' shirt.

Brian stopped mid stride and turned to look down at his son having surmised he was not going to get any packing done until he addressed the situation.

"Andy what is it? I've got three things going on here; ya gotta help me out kiddo. What do you need?" He asked.

"First, Cynthia is still on the phone." Andy said.

Brian flinched and shifted the phone to his other ear.

"Hold on Cyn, I'll be right with you." He said then turned his attention back to his son, quirking his eyebrows up, urging him to get on with it.

"Here, I made this for the baby." Andy said handing Brian a homemade card with his free hand. The other hand still held onto his Dads' shirt.

Brian smiled, touched by his sons' gesture.

He took it from his tiny hand and bent over to kiss his son's cheek before looking at the card. It was made out of Purple construction paper. Inside the words, "Welcome home baby brother!" were written in crayon.

"It's a beautiful card. I'll make sure he gets it." Brian said then directed his gaze to the hand that still gripped his shirt.

Andy blushed and let go of Brian's shirt. Brian winked at him then turned to put the card in the suitcase.

 

Everyone in the house was excited about the new baby. They'd been preparing all winter.

When the family returned from France last summer, Brian and Justin brought Adeline back with them. There was nothing in France keeping her there. No family, or friends, so she agreed to relocate to the states. Deb, God bless her soul, took her in and had been caring for her. The pregnancy had not been easy on Adeline. She was on medication for her psychosis, which thankfully was under control, but they were not without side effects. The baby was fine, but the pregnancy had put a lot of stress on her body. They were lucky she made it thirty-three weeks. The sonogram showed the baby was developed enough at this point to have a safe delivery if it came to it. There were other things however that couldn't be determined from the sonogram. Things like obstructive jaundice, under-developed lungs, and a few other birth defects that sometimes went undetected.

Brian was pondering the possible problems, and repercussions to the family should something go wrong when Maria came running into the bedroom breathless with excitement.

"Is the baby coming home today Dad?!" She asked eagerly.

"I don't think so sweetie. These things take time." Brian answered.

"Will he be here in time for your birthday? If he is, can we then have a party? Can we!? Can we Dad please?!?" She implored boisterously as she jumped up on the bed causing the suitcase to tumble over.

Brian groaned and retrieved the suitcase and started shoving clothes back in it.

"Maria sweetie, what did Dad say about his birthday?" Brian asked sending her an ominous look that was totally lost on her.

His children had been trying to talk him into having a party for his birthday for the past week. No one else in the family dared broach the subject.

Maria frowned at him.

"Oh Dad! You're just being silly! Everyone loves a birthday! Why can't we have a party Dad? That's not fair! Andy and I want cake!" Maria said pouting with her arms crossed over her chest as she stood on the bed glaring at her father looking very much like a warrior princess .

Brian was about to answer her when he heard Cynthia's voice on the other end of the phone. He had forgotten it was still nestled between his neck and shoulder.

"Shit! Hold on honey, I gotta finish this phone call." Brian said.

Andy sighed. "The jars gonna be full today." He told his sister.

Maria giggled.

Brian pulled the phone from his neck and put it to his ear.

"Yes I'm still here! Ok, listen to me Cyn, are you listening? Just tell Harvey I had a family emergency. I know he flew in from Texas just for this meeting but this can't be helped. Put Harvey up at the Ritz Carlton, get him a reservation at Maxine's, tickets to Mama Mia, no wait, make that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, he should appreciate that, but before you do that, call Elite escorts, the number is in my Rolodex and arrange for a tall curvy red head to accompany him. That should pacify him. When Monday comes he'll go home happy, just remember to get him to reschedule with us before he goes." Brian pulled the phone away from his ear as Cynthia shrieked into it.

He made a face and stuck a finger in his ear as if to clear it. When she was done screeching, he put the phone back to his ear.

"I know you're not a Goddamned pimp Cyn! It's a legitimate escort service!" Brian said.

"That's more money for the Jar Dad!" Maria said.

"What's a pimp Dad?" Andy chimed in.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

"Cyn, I gotta run. Now be the good professional CEO I hired you to be and get the job done!" He bellowed then hung up.

 

He walked to the intercom and called for help.

"Fran!" He yelled into speaker.

Not three minutes later Fran bolted up to the loft. Jagger and Emmett were on her heels.

"What are you screaming about?" She asked in her nasal voice.

Brian looked over at her.

"Fran, I have to get back to the hospital. Can you please take the kids downstairs so I can finish packing?" Brian said.

Andy turned to Emmett.

"Auntie Em, what's a pimp?" He asked innocently.

Emmett's mouth dropped open.

"Sweetie where did you hear that word?" He asked.

Brian rolled his eyes.

"Dad told Cynthia he knew she wasn't a Goddamned pimp." Andy said.

Jagger snickered behind Emmett.

"Andrew Taylor-Kinney, you know better than to use that kind of language. Now go get your allowance. In the Jar." Fran scolded Andy lightly.

Andy made the saddest face it broke Brian's heart. He bent over and whispered into his son's ear.

"Don't worry I won't let you take the fall for this. Go put your allowance in the Jar and I'll replace it in your piggy bank later." Brian said.

How could he let his boy pay for repeating something he said? He knew Justin would give him hell later when he told him about this latest fiasco. Justin always accused Brian of being too indulgent with their children and Brian couldn't deny it. It was a good thing Justin was more disciplined in his parenting skills. If it were left up to Brian, there would be total chaos in the house.

"You know Dad this is your fault." Jagger said, trying to hide his mirth.

"It's ok Jag. I said a bad word. I have to put money in the Jar." Andy said.

Fran beamed at him.

"What a good boy! Your Daddy's going to be so proud when he hears how you took responsibility!" Fran said.

Andy sent his father a sly look. Brian winked at him. Oh yeah, total chaos, he thought.

"Ok you two. Out! I've got some packing to do. And NO planning any birthday parties for me!" Brian said sternly.

"Believe me, no one is. Actually, no one wants to even be around you that day!" Fran said.

Brian was turning forty on Saturday. He had not softened his position on the tragedy of it all. He refused to acknowledge that day.

Fran took the kids downstairs, leaving Jagger and Emmett behind.

"So Dad, how bad is it?" Jagger asked.

"It's the death toll for any decent fag." Brian remarked woefully.

Jagger let out an exasperated sound.

Emmett laughed.

"Honey I thought you said your thirtieth birthday marked the date of your demise?" Emmett teased.

"Well if I were your run of the mill every day fag it would have. But I survived. Apparently when you're the most fabulous fag on TWO continents, it takes a little longer." Brian quipped.

"Oh baby then I guess that means there's hope for me." Emmett said cheekily.

"You're beyond hope you ostentatious queen. Besides haven't you turned for..." Brian stopped and swallowed. He couldn't even say the word.

"Um, forty?" Emmett pressed.

"Yeah that. Haven't you reached that landmark yet? I mean fuck Emmett, how old are you? Every year we ask you and every year you evade the question. And they say I'm narcissistic!" Brian spouted indignantly.

"Sweetie don't you know that a lady never reveals her age. Too vulgar." Emmett drawled speciously.

Brian snorted.

"Too vain you mean. And I should add, delusional. Lady my ass. You forget I know you too long and too well you old queen. Lady is not a word I'd use to describe you." Brian returned.

Emmett's mouth dropped open.

"What do you mean ‘old' queen! I'm younger than you Brian Kinney!" Emmett announced proudly.

Brian laughed.

"Yeah right. Tell that to that gray hair popping out on the side of your head." Brian sniped cruelly.

Emmett shrieked and ran into the bathroom to inspect his head.

"Ok Dad that was mean, and although I find you trading insults with Auntie Em very amusing, in a sick pretentious way, I wasn't talking about your your birthday, I'm talking about Adeline." Jagger said.

Brian's face grew serious.

"We don't know. It's a waiting game at this point." Brian said.

Jagger went over and hugged his Dad. Brian hugged him back.

"It's going to be ok." Jagger said.

"I know." Brian answered then pulled away.

"What about you? How are things?" Brian asked.

Jagger had flown in from France to be with his Dad's for the birth of his new brother. Corrine had to stay behind because of work. Since moving to France, all Brian and Justin knew of Jagger's life was what he chose to tell them. They believed their son was happy, but were glad he was here so they could see for themselves how he was faring.

Jagger had made some major life decisions in the past few months. His tour was over, and he completed the last album on his record contract. He had a few more commitments he had to keep then he would be free. His manager and publicist were not happy, but Jagger wouldn't let them book anything for the next two years. They told him he was on fire, and if he didn't strike now, it could ruin his career. Comebacks were not easy, but Jagger insisted. He dismembered the band, much to the dismay of several members, one of whom was currently suing him for breech of promise, (though he wasn't concerned in the least, since his uncle Adam was his lawyer and that man never lost), and he moved to France to be with Corrine.

Jagger was firm in his decision. The stress of the pass several months were too much on his and Corrine's relationship. They were two very different people that had so much to learn about each other. The love was there, that was never in doubt, but loving someone was not the same as knowing them, and he and Corrine needed this time to get to know each other. They bought a small house outside of Paris. Corrine returned to her position at the hospital and Jagger had enrolled in college to study music therapy.

Growing up in a household full of kids who were all loved and respected gave Jagger an appreciation for the amazing job his Dads did in raising them. They demonstrated time and time again through their actions that happiness only came through service of others. No kid could ask for better role models.

Jagger took to heart their philanthropic values. He knew how truly blessed he was and he wanted to give something back, make a difference, but didn't know how until one day the opportunity presented itself.

Shortly after moving to France, Corrine had taken Jagger on a tour of the clinic. When they got to the rehabilitation ward he was surprised to see people with disabilities ranging from autism to speech impairments being treated with music therapy. He found himself visiting that ward every day for weeks, helping the clinicians with their programs. It was Corrine who suggested he take some classes at the local college to better understand and aide the staff with the rehabilitation program.

He took her advice and enrolled at the University of Paris.

His family, especially his Dads, were ecstatic with his decision, but a little skeptical. They didn't know if Jagger would be happy not performing again. What they didn't know was that for the first time in his life Jagger felt he had purpose. He would never stop making music, it was in his blood, he even intended to form another band one day in the future but right now he was focused on his studies, and using his skills as a musician to help others. Being as bright as he was, he already landed an internship at the clinic.

As for his and Corrine's relationship, well it was anything but perfect but as odd as it may seem to others, their imperfect relationship was perfect for them.

Jagger gave his father a smile that could rival his Daddy J's.

"Actually Dad, things are pretty fucking great." He said.

Brian looked at his son's face and saw something he'd never thought he'd ever see in the boy's face considering all he's been through in his life. Contentment. Jagger was at peace with his life. His son was truly happy and that knowledge made Brian's heart swell with joy.

Brian pulled him in for another hug.

"I'm glad. You deserve all the happiness in the world." He said in a choked voice.

Jagger pulled back from his father and studied his eyes.

"No one deserves to be happy more than you and DJ." He said in a serious tone.

Brian smiled.

"Well I think there's enough happiness to go around for us all, don't you?" He said.

 

"Well I'm sure as Hell not happy about this!" Emmett said as he emerged from the bathroom holding a strand of gray hair between his fingers and away from his body as if the wiry fiber would infect the rest of his body should he let it touch him.

Brian and Jagger both busted out laughing at the look on Emmett's face.

"Oh God Em! I was just kidding! I swear I never saw it!" Brian said trying to reign in his mirth.

Jagger walked over to Emmett and threw his arm around his shoulders. He then proceeded to procure the offending hair from Emmett's fingers.

He put it up to his eyes to inspect.

"Hmmm...You know what I think?" He asked in all seriousness.

Emmett's eyes widened in concern.

"No what?" He asked.

"I think it's time Fran introduced you to her friend." Jagger said then turned sympathetic eyes to Emmett.

Emmett gulped.

"Oh my God, what friend? Who?" He asked.

"L'Oreille."

Emmett clucked his tongue and pushed Jagger away.

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm swearing you two to secrecy right now! This never happened, understand?" Emmett said with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

Both Jagger and Brian backed away from him, hands up and swore they'd take his secret to their graves.

Seemingly satisfied, Emmett relaxed his stance.

"Ok. Now back to the business at hand. Do you have your toiletries packed yet?" He asked Brian.

"No, haven't gotten that far with Mutt and Jeff pestering me mercilessly since I got home." Brian said.

"They're just excited sweetie! How often do they get a new baby brother or sister!?" Emmett said.

 

"Um, in this house? Quite often. Don't forget Dads' baby's due in just a few months." Jagger quipped.

Brian sighed.

"That's Ben and Michael's baby Jag. I'm just the donor." Brian said.

Emmett and Jagger exchanged, ‘yeah, right' looks but held their tongues.

"Still, it's all very exciting! You know damn well Brian Kinney the bigger this family grows, the happier we all are! And, let's not forget the greatest advantage to having a houseful of children." Emmett said.

Brian raised his eyebrow.

"Oh? What's that?" He asked

"They keep us young!" Emmett exclaimed.

Brian laughed.

"Well Justin and I are sure doing our part to keep us all young. What about you Em? Do you and James ever think about having one of your own?" Brian asked.

"We have all the children we want Bri. Between your brood, Rena's daughter, and Shane's three children James and I feel like full time parents. We truly are blessed." Emmett said.

Brian smiled at him and nodded his head. The truth was, they were blessed to have Emmett and James in their lives. They took a big part in raising their children. So much so that Brian and Justin made Emmett and Rena, along with John and James by extension, Godparents to all their children. It truly did take a village to raise the Taylor-Kinney brood.

Emmett turned and disappeared into the bathroom to put together a toiletry bag while Jagger helped Brian finish packing.

 

 

Several minutes later Brian was standing out front putting the bags in the Mercedes-Benz Van, (because Brian wouldn't dare be caught dead in a ‘family vehicle' unless it had a designer name), while Johnny secured the baby car seat in the back.

The whole family was out in the streets seeing him off. Including Jason.

Brian had warmed up to the boy considerably over the past few months. He was quickly becoming part of the family and if Brian had any doubts as to that development, all he had to do was take one look in his daughters' eyes to dispel them.

"Now Dad, don't forget to call as soon as there's any news." Lizzy said.

"Stop being a nag Lizzy. I told you already I'll call." He chided gently as he kissed her on the cheek.

He insisted they not all come to the hospital until the baby was born, and then, only a few at a time. Visiting hours and limitations would not accommodate their huge clan.

"Now I don't want you to worry. Everything is going to be fine. I've been lighting a candle every night for the past week. Oh! and make sure Justin eats! You know he forgets when his mind gets preoccupied." Joan said as she stepped forward to give her son a hug.

"Speaking of nags....Yes mother, I'll take care of your ‘son'." Brian said with a bit of sarcasm in his tone. Though he and his mother had a good relationship now, she was more comfortable mothering Justin. Brian simply wasn't the mothering type. Justin on the other hand didn't mind her attentions.

He smiled at his mother taking some of the bite out of his words and returned her hug.

"Car seats belted in real good Dad!' Johnny said as he came around to give his father a hug goodbye. The boy grew several inches over the winter months. He was a good two inches taller than Brian now. Those basketball scholarships were just pouring in at this point.

"Thanks Johnny. Look after these two rascals while I'm gone." Brian said as he reached over to ruffle the twins' hair.

"Take care of yourself kiddo. The doc just took you off those blood pressure pills. Don't stress yourself out now. Everything's going to be just fine like Joan said. And let me know if you need more grubs. I can whip this stuff up in my sleep!"

This came from Deb who stopped by with two bags full of baked ziti for Justin, boneless garlic chicken for him, fresh baked rolls and sugar free lemon bars. Justin had enlisted her, along with the rest of the family, in monitoring his diet. His blood pressure was back under control since returning from France and the doctor took him off the pills. Justin was making sure he never went back on them again.

"Thanks Deb. I will." He said and hugged her.

"Ok, enough of the goodbyes already! He'll be back before you know it, with yet another Taylor-Kinney brat to add to the mix. God help us all." Jagger said in an exaggerated voice.

Everyone laughed.

Some more goodbyes and well wishes were exchanged before Jagger finally pulled his father way.

He walked him over to the drivers' side of the van and opened the door for him. Brian raised his brow.

"I'm not so old you need to be opening doors for me." He said as he climbed in.

"Never old. Like Uncle Mikey always says, "you'll always be young, you'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney." Jagger said and closed the door.

Brian had no words to give his son. He knew those who loved him would always see him that way no matter how many years passed.

Maybe...He thought as he pulled away from the curb, waving good-bye to his family... turning forty wasn't such a big deal after all....

 

******************************************

 

The clock above the puke green sofa in the waiting room read 2:00 a.m. Brian walked over to Justin who was sitting on the ugly couch and handed him the coffee he got from the nurses station. The hospital cafeteria was closed at this hour.

"Rena went home?" Justin asked taking the Styrofoam cup from Brian.

"Yeah, finally. I told her we'd call if there was any change." Brian said then sat down besides Justin.

They had a bit of a scare earlier in the evening. Adeline's pressure spiked and the baby's heart rate went up. They had to give her a mild sedative. She'd been sleeping ever since and her vitals were stable. The doctor's said if her pressure spiked one more time, they were going to do a C-section.

Rena wanted to stay with them all night, but Brian insisted she go home. He told her they would need her well rested to take over the second shift tomorrow. It was the only way to get his sister to leave.

Since the incident with Andy, Rena was never too far from Brian. She had a hard enough time losing one brother, twice; she was determined not to lose him.

"We're very lucky to have her you know." Justin said.

"Yeah, I know. Oh, by the way, Peter called earlier. He wanted to fly in tonight, but I told him to wait till the weekend. He still has two finals he has to take this week and there's really nothing he can do here." Brian said.

Justin nodded and blew on the hot dark brew in his hands.

"Good. I don't want him to miss those finals. He's too close to graduating." He said.

"Speaking of graduation, Lins and Mel want to have a moving up day party for Gus next weekend, providing the baby is here by then." Brian said.

Justin raised his brow.

"A moving up day? I never heard of that." He said.

Brian sighed.

"Apparently these days the schools make a big deal out of every fucking thing from kindergarten graduation to moving up to the next building. This is his last year at the elementary school. Next year he's off to the big leagues. Middle school." Brian said.

Justin laughed.

"Oh well, it's a good as any reason to celebrate. Speaking of celebrations..." Justin let his words trail off as he sent Brian a sideward glance.

Brian snorted.

"As if I could stop you. Just promise me you won't make a big spectacle out of it, ok?" He asked.

Justin shook his head.

"Nope. Can't do that. The kids are really looking forward to this. But I will promise you there will be no ‘death' or ‘over the hill' themes. There is too much life surrounding us, I want to celebrate that." Justin said.

Brian smiled at Justin and ran the back of his fingers down the side of his cheek.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you Sunshine?" He asked.

 

Justin gifted him with one of his million watt smiles.

"Every time you look at me." He answered.

Justin tilted his head up to give Brian a quick peck on his lips then turned away to take a sip of the coffee he'd been holding.

The brew was very strong; Justin made a face at the bitterness of it. He leaned over and placed the cup on the veneer coffee table that sat in front of the couch.

"God that's strong!" He complained.

Brian laughed low in his throat.

"Of course it is. The night nurses like it that way." Brian said picking the cup back up and taking a drink.

Justin gave him a look.

"How can you stand it?" He asked.

Brian shrugged and put the cup back down on the table.

"After a while you get use to it." He said.

Justin knew he was referring to a time long ago after the bashing when Brian watched over him every night in this very same hospital. From what Brian told him, he was drinking excessively during that time, and doing way too many drugs. He must have consumed a lot of the hospital coffee back then. No wonder he got use to it. It was a painful time for them, but it was in the past, and they've finally laid it to rest.

 

Justin was still in awe of how far they've come. At one time they shied away from talking about the painful periods in their lives, too afraid to voice out loud their trials, but now they talked freely about them without pain or regret. They were at a point where it no longer mattered. Neither would change anything about their past, or present. The events in their lives were neither bad, nor good; they were just pieces of the tapestry that was their destiny.

 

He nuzzled up to Brian and rubbed the top of his head into the crook of his neck.

"Can you believe Helen still works here?" He mused.

"Yeah I can. I'm glad though she got out of trauma and now works maternity. She must have seen a lot of bad shit up there." Brian said.

Helen was the night nurse on Justin's floor when Brian would come to visit him. She was always kind to him. Brian never forgot her. He spent a lot of time with her over the days and weeks Justin was in the hospital. Often he'd bring her a lemon bar from the diner, or a cup of Starbucks coffee. Helen and he shared a love for things sweet and bitter, and an aversion to the smell of death and sickness that permeated that ward. Helen was much more suited for the maternity ward.

"She also witnessed a lot of miracles I would guess." Justin said interrupting Brian's thoughts.

Brian kissed the top of Justin's head.

"I've no doubt." He agreed.

Brian knew first hand that miracles occurred every day. The fact that they were both still here after all they've been through was proof positive of their existence. Their lives were gifted with many miracles, and another one was on its way.

Justin entwined his fingers with Brian's and sighed. He stared down at their joined hands and smiled contently at the sight of their matching cowry bracelets.

...their cowry bracelets...

Justin sat up quickly pulling Brian's hand up with his.

"Oh my God Brian! I'm still wearing your bracelet!" He said then quickly started removing it from his wrist.

At first Brian was startled, then he remembered when they switched their commitment bracelets. It was the day he found him at the cabin and Justin had thought he had Brian's bracelet by mistake because of the inscription. That was so many months ago, they each forgot they never exchanged the bracelets back.

Brian removed Justin's bracelet from his own wrist.

"For someone who has a history of memory loss, you don't forget a thing do you?" Brian jested.

"Not the important things." Justin said then motioned for Brian to hold his wrist out.

Brian watched as Justin fastened his bracelet back on his wrist, where it belonged.

"If lost, please return to owner Justin Taylor." Justin recited the words inscribed on the inside of Brian's bracelet.

Brian then took Justin's bracelet and placed it back on his wrist.

"If lost, please return to owner Brian Kinney." He reiterated the words inscribed on Justin's bracelet.

"There. All is right in the universe now." Justin said then reached up and pulled Brian's head down for a kiss.

Brian thought as long as he lived, he'd never stop craving the feel and taste of Justin's lips on his own. He pulled Justin to him and deepened the kiss when the sound of someone clearing their voice forced him to pull back.

Helen was standing in the doorway. A worried look on her face.

"She's gone into labor." She said.

 

********************************************

 

"Her pressure is dropping doctor."

"I lost the baby's heartbeat!"

"Give her 20 milligrams of Nitroxyl stat!"

The nurses and doctors went into emergency mode. Brian and Justin were pushed to the back of the room while they frantically worked on Adeline.

She went into Labor not twenty minutes ago and everything went downhill from there. They were prepping her for a C-section when her vitals took a dive, along with the babys'. They were in danger of losing both mother and child.

Brian and Justin stood out of the doctor's way and watched in horror. Brian held on to Justin tightly trying to soothe his shaking body.

"Brian...." Justin sobbed his name.

Brian could feel his despair deep in his heart. Tears fell from his eyes.

"Shh...Justin have faith...hold on." Brian urged.

"Doctor, the baby's coming!" A nurse yelled out.

"The mother's barely conscious, she can't push!" Another nurse said.

The doctor pulled Adeline's body down to the edge of the bed and pushed his hands inside of her.

"Adeline stay with me! I can't deliver this baby without your help!" The doctor yelled at her.

"Nurse, give her another 20 mil grams of Nitroxyl!" He barked out the order.

Justin wanted to run to be by Adeline's side but she was surrounded by nurses who were encouraging her on and keeping her conscious.

Adeline must have heard the doctor's plea and pushed herself up on her elbows.

"Yes, that's it, now PUSH!" The doctor yelled.

Adeline let out a blood-curdling scream and bore down with every ounce of strength she had left in her body.

"I've got the head!" The doctor shouted.

Justin held his breath.

"One more push Adeline, come on, you can do it!" The doctor ordered.

Adeline let out another strangled wail as she bore down again.

The baby popped out into the doctor's hands, but there was no crying.

"Brian, he's not crying. He's not crying!" Justin sobbed.

"Nurse, suction!" The doctor commanded.

The nurse brought a little bulbous instrument over and Brian and Justin watched as the doctor sucked all the mucus from the baby's mouth and nose.

Still no sounds came from the child.

The doctor lifted up his stethoscope that hung around his neck and put it to the baby's chest.

His next move sent Justin to his knees with fright. Brian held on to him tight, his own knees weak from fear.

The doctor laid the baby on Adeline's belly and started massaging his chest.

Adeline peered down at her son, her eyes widened in sheer terror.

"NO NO NO!!!" She screamed.

"I won't let you die my child, I won't!" She vowed then feel back against her pillow, her eyes rolled back in her head.

"Doctor she's going into cardiac arrest!" the nurse yelled.

"Goddamn it deal with it! Get the paddles out, I need to get this little guy's heart beating!" The doctor ordered.

One nurse pushed the crash cart over to the bed and rubbed the paddles together while the other nurse ripped the gown from Adeline's' body.

The doctor moved the baby over to the warming station and continued massaging his chest.

"Clear!" The first nurse shouted.

Adeline's body jerked obscenely on the bed.

"Nothing. She's flat lining. Recharge!" The second nurse ordered.

 

The whole scene was surreal, something out of a horror movie and Justin and Brian felt like they were paralyzed in some awful alternative universe.

Then, in the middle of the pandemonium everything went still and an eerie silence fell over the room.

It was as if time suddenly stopped. Everyone stood frozen in place. Everyone except Brian and Justin.

 

Justin grabbed Brian as panic gripped him.

"Brian what's happening?" He asked in a strained voice.

"I don't know, but if I were to guess, I'd say we're about to have a visit from someone outside this world, again. I just hope it's a visit from above, and not below." Brian ventured cautiously.

Justin was about to voice that same sentiment when a bright light flooded the room nearly blinding them.

They shielded their eyes from the light, squinting to see its source.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, the last person in the world they expected to see materialized in front of them.

It was Elliot.

Though there was something very different about Elliot. A luminous light surrounded his spirit, the same light that was inundating them and room, and he looked, well, pleased. As if all his questions had been answered.

But that was just the subtle difference in him. The most obvious difference is what rendered Brian and Justin speechless.

Elliot had wings.

Brian and Justin just stared at him, mouths agape.

"What? Never seen an Angel before?" Elliot said, a hint of mirth in his voice.

Brian was the first to respond. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

"But how?" He asked.

Elliot laughed.

"It's really a funny story actually. Well maybe more ironic than funny, but what would I know since I've never gotten human humor." Elliot said.

"Elliot! You're an Angel!" Justin seemed to have found his voice.

"Yes, I am. Thanks to you two, and your brother." Elliot answered looking at Brian.

"But how?" Brian asked again, still shocked at Elliot's presence. Last they saw him he was on his way to Hell.

"Well apparently when I offered my soul in exchange for three human souls, it was considered an act of virtuous sacrifice. And according to Gods' law it was enough to earn me my wings. And as Law would also have it, a demon minion cannot claim the soul of an Angels'. The deal I made as an agent was no longer valid. Joffith cried foul, since the deal still held on his end, but there is no law above God's law. I was allowed to return home and your souls are still free and clear. The only person who can deny you your passage into heaven is you. And I would be so disappointed if I did not have your company when your time comes. So do me a favor, and live your lives in love, and faith, as I've seen you have been." Elliot said.

 

"Well E you did it. Though I'm not surprised. You are by far the oddest, yet noblest soul I've ever met. You more than earned those wings." Brian said.

Justin nodded in agreement.

"We're so very happy for you Elliot. We never could repay you for what you did for us." Justin said.

Elliot gave him an odd look.

"For someone who claims to be happy, you look very sad." Elliot said.

Justin lowered his eyes to hide his tears.

"My baby is dying." He said in a low grief stricken voice.

Brian's heart clenched painfully at Justin's words.

"Ah now, you haven't been listening to your partner. I believe I heard him say, "Have faith Justin...hold on." Elliot repeated Brian's words verbatim.

"You heard that?" Brian asked.

"Why do you think I'm here? When you live in faith, nothing is impossible." Elliot said then walked over to where the doctor stood frozen over the baby.

Elliot gently pushed the doctor aside and lowered his mouth to the tiny infants' mouth and breathed into him.

The baby's chest expanded and a tiny cry escaped from his lips.

Justin cried out in joy and rushed over to pick up his son. He turned to Brian with tear filled eyes and held the baby up to him.

"He's alive Brian! Our son is alive!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Brian put his hands under Justin's so they both cradled the infant.

"Thank you Elliot." Brian whispered in an emotion filled voice as he stared down at the beautiful baby his Sunshine created.

"Don't thank me. It was Adeline's doing." Elliot said.

Both Justin and Brian looked up at Elliot.

"I don't understand. What did Adeline do?" Justin asked.

"She offered her soul up for her child's. I'm here to make the exchange. You have your son, and Adeline will come home with me." Elliot said.

"No..." Justin whispered sadly. He was overjoyed his son lived, but extremely saddened that Adeline had to sacrifice her life.

"Why does it have to be this way?" He asked.

"It's her choice Justin. She chooses to come home. Do not grieve for her. Her husband awaits her." Elliot said.

"Jacques?" Justin said in a stunned voice.

"Yes. Their souls will be rejoined. And her baby is with its' father. Go forth in joy my friend. T'is a time for celebration, not mourning." Elliot advised.

Justin looked down at his son and smiled. Elliot was right. It was a time for celebration. They would not mourn Adeline's passing, instead they would celebrate her life and her child's life. Justin was sure it was how she would have wanted it to be.

"Tell her how grateful we are to her, and happy for her." Justin said.

"She knows." Elliot said.

"I must go now. My time with you has truly been a remarkable pleasure. One I shall forever cherish." Elliot said.

"Actually E, the pleasure has been ours. How could we ever thank you for all you've done for us?" Brian asked.

Elliot sent the two men a sly smile.

"Did I ever tell you what my name stands for?" Elliot asked.

"Um, no." Brian answered. He turned to Justin as they both exchanged confused looks.

Elliot glided over to them and placed his hand on the baby's head.

An Angels touch...

Brian and Justin knew the significance of Elliot's actions. He was bestowing his blessing and protection over their baby. The act humbled them to the core.

"It means God's gift. Not a bad name, huh?" Elliot said with a wry smile.

Brian smiled.

"Not bad at all." He replied.

Elliot nodded his head and spread his magnanimous wings. The feathers glistened silvery blue and arched impossibly high. The luminous light that emanated from him grew brighter, and Elliot grew taller. He resembled every heavenly painting done by the greatest artist over the centuries and Brian and Justin couldn't help but be mesmerized by the image.

 

"Be well my friends. Until we meet again." Elliot said.

Justin and Brian watched in reverence as the Angel disappeared.

"Well there's a sight you don't see every day." Brian said clearing his throat once Elliot was gone.

"No you don't.." Justin whispered.

Their son stirred in their arms and started to cry around the same time life crept back into the delivery room.

The doctor, who was leaning over the baby trying to revive it, fell forward onto the now empty warming station.

Startled as to where the baby had disappeared to, he turned around frantically and saw Brian and Justin holding the infant. Scratching his head he approached them.

"Um, I see he's breathing well enough now." He said, still a little shaken.

"Yes, he's alive and well. Thank you doctor." Justin said.

Brian held in his laugh.

The doctor looked confused.

He put his stethoscope to the baby's chest and smiled.

"Looks like this ones gonna be ok." He said in a relieved voice.

All men smiled at each other, elated that the baby came through just fine. Though they only had a moment to bask in that feeling before it was marred by the nurses' announcement.

"Doctor, I think we lost the mother......."


	29. Epilogue

**"I have found a place inside this day,  
Where inner children run and play.  
Where worldly concern of rush, rush  
Is replaced by a child's' blush.  
Be as young as you must  
In innocent truth you can trust  
Be not worried, harried or woed  
The child in your heart is all you need know."**

 **~~ The Child Inside by T.I. Post**

 

 

He was being set up.

And it wasn't even subtle. I mean how obvious could they be? He thought to himself. He woke up to an empty house. It was seven a.m. on a Saturday morning, more importantly, the morning of his birthday, and there wasn't a soul in the house.

Brian made his way back to the kitchen after searching the entire house and started the coffee. He knew they were planning something for his birthday, he just didn't know what. And he certainly didn't expect this! Everyone had abandoned him on his birthday. He guessed Fran was right when she said no one wanted to be around him on this day.

 _Wait, was that a moment of self pity?!_

Brian reached between his legs and groaned. He was soft. Fucking pity always made his dick soft! He brushed his maudlin thoughts out of his head and picked up the newspaper that was on the dinning room table. He sat down and opened it up to read as he waited for his coffee to finish brewing but found he couldn't get past the first few lines. It was too fucking quiet, eerily quiet, the silence was deafening. Though he wasn't going to grumble too much, the quiet was also kind of nice. There'd been little of it in the past week, due to the latest addition to their family.

 

They brought the baby home last Tuesday and buried his mother on Thursday. It was a joyful, yet somber time. The family didn't know how to react to Adeline's passing; they weren't exactly close to her. Justin and Debbie knew her best and they assured the family that Adeline wouldn't want them to mourn for her. She died bringing life into the world and that the family should be joyful of the gift she left behind.

Justin and Brian named their child Elliot Aidan Taylor-Kinney. Adam already filed the papers for Brian to adopt the baby so the name would be legal, along with Brian's parental rights. For all his faults, Adam knew how to get a job done right, and quick.

Elliot was barely a week old and already his hair was starting to come in. Red/orange. Just like the Angel he was named after. Brian was sure Elliot had his hand in that, literally when he placed it on the baby's head the day he was born. He was just vain enough to leave them that to remember him by. As if he or Justin would ever forget him.

Along with the bright red/orange hair, their son also inherited his namesakes' temperament. He was a very inquisitive, and demanding infant. He was a fusser, and a first class manipulator even at his tender age. It was as if he sensed when someone new was around. He'd kick up a fuss until the new person picked him up and saw how special he was.

Yeah, that kid was more like their dear Angel friend then either he or Justin would like to admit.

Brian smiled at his thoughts and got up to retrieve a cup for his coffee when the phone rang.

He turned to answer it.

"HAPPY BIRHTDAY DAD!!" The screeching chorus of high pitch voices went right through Brian.

So much for the quiet.

He pulled the phone away from his ear until the last line of the song "Happy Birthday to You", (delivered in a key so off he was imaging Jagger slitting his wrist over it), was sung.

When he heard Justin calling his name, he put the phone back to his ear.

"Happy birthday Brian!" His blonde greeted him cheerily.

Brian harrumphed into the phone.

"Some birthday! What? No breakfast in bed?" He asked petulantly.

Justin laughed.

"Actually we are having breakfast. The kids wanted to go to the Pancake House for your birthday." Justin said.

"Um, don't you think I should have been invited?" Brian said sarcastically.

"Nahh. Besides you hate the pancake house. I have something much better planned for you." Justin said.

Just then, the doorbell buzzed.

"Hold on Sunshine, some one's at the door." Brian said.

"I know. It's part one of your gift." Justin said.

Brian raised his brow, as if Justin could see him, and then went to answer the door.

Since the renovations to the Tremont house, the kitchen was now on the first floor. There was an alcove added for visitors to go through before being allowed in.

Brian walked through the front door, into the alcove, then unlocked the street door entrance.

There standing on the stoop dressed fittingly in a white uniform, complete with chef's hat, stood Pittsburgh own renowned chef, John-Paul Peone. Behind him a fleet of men and women, dressed similarly carrying bags and coolers, lined the sidewalk.

"Mr. Kinneie?" John-Paul addressed him in his thick French accented voice.

Brian smiled widely; the phone was still clutched in his hands.

"Oh Sunshine, you just earned yourself a week of topping." Brian said.

Justin laughed on the other end.

"Just one?" He asked.

"Don't push it. It's food, not sex." Brian answered.

Justin laughed harder.

"Oh but you always said his food was the next best thing to sex." Justin answered saucily.

Chef Peone worked at Brian's favorite restaurant. On special occasions, or when Brian was just in the mood to splurge, he would take Justin to Peones, named after the infamous chef, for brunch. They made the most spectacular crepes.

"Wait, does this mean I'm off my diet?" Brian asked.

"Just for today." Justin answered.

"Excuse me Mr. Kinneie, but I must enter with my staff. We are assigned to create you a breakfast fit for a king, toot sweet!" John-Paul announced then emphasized his words by slapping the palm of his hand against his mouth making a ‘popping' sound.

"Of course, forgive my manners, please enter." Brian said then held the door open for the army of cooks.

"You know you should be here sharing this breakfast with me." Brian said.

"Don't worry, I've already booked him for a private dinner. But today is just for you. Your next gift is scheduled to come at 10:00 a.m., so be ready." Justin said.

"My next gift 'cums' at 10:00? Hmmmm...you know how I love puncuality. Unfortunately Sunshine, I'll be too stuffed by then to cum much less do anything else. Though I might make the effort, depending on what the gift is." Brian smirked into the phone.

"Um, your next gift is definitely worth the effort, but if you like your balls, I suggest you keep your efforts at a minimum." Justin teased.

"Really?... sounds intriguing, and mysterious. I can't wait. But I'm on to you blondy.  
You just want to keep me distracted all day while you plan whatever nefarious torture you have in store for me later." Brian accused.

"Ahhh....caught again. Now our totally not  
gourmet pancakes are here so I have to go. All you need to do is relax, enjoy your gifts, and be at Rena's house by one this afternoon. Oh, and don't shower or dress until right before you're ready to leave the house." Justin said.

Brian was about to question Justin's odd request when the smell of apple cinnamon crepes invaded his nostrils.

He groaned in pure pleasure.

"Oh God just the scent of his cooking is enough to make me cum." Brian declared dreamily.

"As much as I would like to be insulted, since you've never said that about my cooking, I'm not. I've had his crepes. They are orgasmic. Now go enjoy." Justin said.

Brian mumbled some unintelligible response then hung up the phone and followed his nose into the kitchen where his taste buds were treated to the most sensual, delectable flavors ever to pass his lips.

Two hours and several courses later, (who knew breakfast could have seven courses?!) Brian's next gift promptly arrived as promised.

His name was Roscoe.

Roscoe was a big muscular guy with sculptured arms and big hands. He was also very easy on the eyes. For a minute Brian thought Justin had hired him a hustler, as some sort of joke, a very bad joke, when he spied the large rectangular case Roscoe was carrying. It was a portable massage table.

Relieved, Brian let Roscoe have his way with him. It started with a steam facial and shave.

Brian fucking loved it. He very rarely found the time to sit for professional barbers shave these days. It was a luxury he once treated himself to at least once a week. But with a house full of kids, two businesses in two different cities and a nightclub to manage he stopped finding the time.

Roscoe told him that Justin had paid for him to come to the house once a week, for the next year.

Oh yeah, that just earned his Sunshine two weeks of topping.

After the shave, Roscoe gave Brian the most amazing full body massage.

Justin was right to warn him about not getting too carried away with the experience. The man kneaded and worked out all the kinks. Brian could feel the tension, tension he didn't even realize he had, ease from his body. Roscoe made his body hum with his large, firm expert hands. And when Brian's body hummed, his cock sang along in perfect harmony. Brian had a hard on the whole time.

After the massage, Roscoe oiled him down good, and then left him with his hard on, and a full line of skin products. Brian gave him a huge tip, then immediately jumped in the shower and jerked off.

Now he understood why Justin didn't want him to shower until after his last present left.

After a long hot shower, and two unbelievable orgasms, the best he'd ever given himself actually, Brian was ready to go to Rena's.

He dressed in a pair of tight dolce and gabbana jeans, and his favorite black Gucci T-shirt. He stopped to look in the mirror on his way out. His skin never looked better. It had a youthful glow to it. Even his hair felt, and looked vibrant and alive.

"I'd fuck you." He uttered to his image.

He left the house and jumped into his convertible, top down, forgoing his jacket. It was May and the weather was unusually warm.

Twenty minutes later it was like deja vu. He walked into yet another empty house. His sisters' house.

Though where this house was empty, it certainly wasn't silent. Brian could hear carnival music playing in the distance.

"Hello." He called out. No answer

He walked around to the back of the house towards the music and was greeted with a sight that he'd never forget as long as he lived.

The whole backyard was converted into an amusement park of sorts complete with game booths, petting zoo, concession stands and rides.

Brian had to blink twice to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Men on stilts teetered on the lawn. Clowns juggled up on a stage constructed out of wood. A heavy bearded lady sat next to an incredibly tall skinny man on another stage. And in the middle of the extravagant spectacle there was the biggest roller coaster ride Brian has ever seen.

He simply could not believe his eyes.

"Please tell me you didn't fuck Roscoe." Justin said as he walked up behind Brian.

"I didn't fuck Roscoe." Brian answered then turned around to greet his partner properly.

Justin put his hands on Brian's chest, stopping him from kissing him as he stared at his face.

"You look fucking amazing! You sure you didn't fuck Roscoe?" Justin said teasingly as he narrowed his eyes.

Brian laughed then pulled Justin in for a long, hard, thorough kiss. It said "Thank you" on so many levels.

When he finally let Justin up for air his blonde was panting and flushed.

Brian took in his surroundings. He couldn't believe all the work that must have went into setting something of this magnitude up. He felt like a kid on his very first time at the fair.

"I can't believe you did this. It's perfect. How did you know?" He asked, his voice low, his tone awestruck.

"As I recall, you once told a friend of ours that sex was like an amusement park, and love was like riding the big scary roller coaster ride at the park with someone you trust." Justin said then nudged Brian with his shoulder.

"Well? Care to take a spin with me?" Justin said tilting his head towards the huge coaster sitting in the middle of the festivities.

"You remembered that?" Brian asked referring to the time he told Elliot his views on love and sex.

"I remember every fucking thing you've ever said to me Mr. Kinney. Even the things I've forgotten, I eventually remembered because the heart that truly loves, never forgets." Justin said.

Brian's chest filled with emotion.

"You know you say the sweetest things Sunshine. You didn't happen to grow a vagina in the last few hours have you?" Brian said then jump away laughing as Justin swatted him playfully.

Justin grabbed Brian's wrist and led him towards the roller coaster.

"Come on you big bad man. Lets go for a ride." Justin said.

Brian pulled back. Justin looked up and saw anxiety written on his face.

"Don't tell me you're really afraid of roller coasters?" Justin asked.

Just when he thought he knew everything there was to know about his partner, Brian once again surprised him.

"Um, actually I've never been on one." Brian said.

Justin gave Brian one of his million watt smiles then pulled him down for a kiss.

"Yes you have Brian. We've been on this ride many times before. Don't be afraid. We've survived worse twists and turns than that pile of metal could ever manage. It will be fun, have faith." Justin said then winked at him.

Brian smiled.

"Well faith has gotten us this far. I guess it will get me through one turn on that contraption." Brian said.

Justin and Brian got in the car and pulled the bar down.

"Ready?" Justin asked holding on to Brian's hand.

"Can we fuck when we get to the top?" Brian asked.

"And on the way down." Justin answered.

"But remember. I get to top."

Brian was about to respond when the chain lift started pulling them up. He didn't speak another word until his feet were once again on solid, steady ground.

 

 

Later that night, the family gathered around to watch the fire works signaling an end to the days festivities. It was a grand display to top off an even grander day. Brian never felt more exhilarated, more alive, more full of hope and excitement for their future as he did in that moment.

"Happy?" Justin asked who was sitting next to him on the bleachers he had brought in, his head resting on Brian's shoulder.

"Happy just doesn't seem to cut it Sunshine. I don't think my heart could stand it if I felt any happier." Brian sighed.

"And no, I did not just grow a vagina." He added realizing how lesbianic his words just sounded.

Justin laughed.

"Well I hope your heart can withstand one more surprise." He said.

Brian looked over at him with questioning eyes.

"What more can there be?" He asked. He truly couldn't imagine there being more.

"The kids haven't given you their gift yet." Justin said with a mischievous glint to his eyes.

Brian knew that look.

"What did my darling children get me?" He asked suspiciously.

Justin leaned over and patted Johnny on the shoulder who was sitting on the bench below them.

"Johnny, take Gus and go get your fathers' present."

"Ok Daddy J!" Johnny said then pulled Gus with him as they ran towards the barn that held the petting zoo.

Brian groaned.

"Please tell me the kids didn't get me a rabbit!" Brian asked.

The petting area was filled with rabbits. They were the children's favorite animal.

"Cause you know I'm not going to allow that in our house! It's bad enough the kids are pestering me to get a dog, but a rabbit?! They're nothing but big rodents!" Brian declared adamantly.

"Stop queening out. It's not a rabbit! And we are getting a dog. So get use to it. Your gift however, is not suited for the house." Justin said.

"What kind of animal did the kids get me that's not suited for the house?" Brian asked starting to get nervous.

"Why what every little boy wants for his birthday of course." Justin said as he pointed in the direction where Johnny and Gus were approaching them.

Brian eyes turned in the same direction.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." He said, totally flabbergasted.

The boys walked up to him with the gift in tow. The rest of his children gathered around to present his gift him.

"Happy Birthday Dad!" They yelled out all at once.

Justin got up and took the reins from his sons' hands and handed them to Brian.

"This pony is for the boy in you that never lost faith, well not completely. For Wendy's Peter, for Andy's and Rena's Bean, for my Huck Fin. For a Dad that will forever be young and beautiful. If you should ever forget that boy, or think you've lost him, this pony here will guide you back to him." Justin said as he presented the beautiful white pony to him.

 

Brian stared into Justin's loving blue eyes and felt tears sting the back of his own eyes. A minute later he was engulfed by his entire family.

Many hugs, kisses and tears were exchanged.

In the end, Brian pulled his own boy to him.

 

The boy who stood under that lamppost and bravely faced his destiny.

The boy who boldly said "I'm going with him" not knowing where Brian would take him.

The boy who never gave up even in the face of impossible odds.

The boy who loved more passionately than any man could, or any man dared.

The boy who taught the man how to be a boy again.

A boy filled with eternal hope, love, faith and promise.

His boy.

And Brian took his boy home that night and made good on his promise.

He welcomed his boys' body inside of him, giving himself completely over to him as erotic visions of a certain naked blond perched proudly on top of his white pony galloping towards him fueled his boyish imagination.

The End


End file.
